by Abbi Cook
Covering my face, I don’t hold back the tears anymore. “You were the only part of that whole terrible thing I didn’t hate. Why are you saying these things? Is it because of my family? Is that it?”
I drop my hands to see him shaking his head. “Then why?”
“I can’t explain it, Sophie. Just know that you’re better off without me.”
Each word stings so much that I want to lash out and hurt him, so I push hard against his chest and yell, “I wish you had died at that place! I wish whoever killed the rest of those fucking monsters had killed you too!”
His dark eyes fill with hurt for just a second, and then it’s like he hardens over. “Have a good life, Sophie.”
He turns to leave, hesitating for the briefest moment, but I don’t stop him. This person isn’t my King. I don’t know who this man is.
Tilting my head back, I feel the sun on my face warming my skin while I sit on a bench in the very fancy garden on the estate. I’m more of a wildflower kind of girl, so the regimented lines of this place feel too formal to me, but I can’t deny how relaxing it is to sit in the midday sun as I try to forget everything that happened last night.
My chest aches at the thought of King now. Not King. Kane. A simple change of name and he’s a completely different man. Must be nice. I don’t have that option, so I’m left with my memories of him back at Duke’s and wishing I’d never let myself care for him.
The sound of a flip-flop tears me from my daydreaming, and I open my eyes to see a beautiful brunette slowly walking toward where I sit. Her hair sits in a loose bun on the top of her head, making her look disheveled, and her jeans shorts and pink T-shirt make her look casual and relaxed.
I quickly stand up and smile, sure this must be Kaia. “Hi! I was just taking advantage of the beautiful setting and the sun.”
She stops in front of me and smiles as she extends her hand. “I’m Kaia. Ryker told me you’d arrived a couple days ago. I’m so sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you before this, but after giving birth to Maxim, I felt like I could sleep for a month. When I saw you from my window, I wanted to come down and say hi. I get the feeling you’re a girl after my own heart. I love this garden too. It’s one of my favorite spots on the estate.”
I shake her hand and return the smile. “I was just thinking it’s a little more ordered than I usually like in my flowers, but it is beautiful. I remember my grandmother loved this garden.”
“Ryker’s told me that. He doesn’t like it much at all and rarely comes out here, so I’m usually the only person to spend time here. Well, me and the landscapers.”
She chuckles, putting me at ease, and motions toward the bench behind me. “How about we sit down and get to know one another?”
We take our spots on the seat and begin talking. Within minutes, I understand why my uncle is so crazy about her. Kind and funny, she’s sweet and just what I need to soothe my sore feelings today.
Taking a deep breath in, she lets the air out slowly and tilts her head back to look up at the sun. “I love how natural it smells here. Every time I come out to this garden, I feel rejuvenated.”
“I could use that today,” I say before mirroring her to inhale a deep breath of the garden’s air. It’s a hot and humid day, but the sweetness of what may be honeysuckle registers in my brain.
“I hope you won’t feel like I’m intruding, but Ryker told me all you’ve been through. Thank God Kane was there to keep you safe.”
The air in my lungs leaves my body in a frustrated rush. “I guess.”
Kaia doesn’t respond to my lackluster opinion of Ryker’s second in command. Instead, she lowers her gaze and turns to look directly at me.
“Do you know the story of how I came to be here?”
Shaking my head, I smile, hoping she doesn’t think I’m impolite when I say, “No. In fact, I don’t know how my uncle could meet anyone wearing that mask.”
A sweet giggle from her tells me my comment didn’t offend. “I guess it’s a bit intimidating. I’ve gotten so used to seeing him in it that I don’t think twice about it. He doesn’t wear it when we’re alone, so I don’t see it much anymore. But he did wear it when I first met him.”
“That only makes me more curious. Like, was he out at a club and wearing that? I guess that could be intriguing. It certainly would set him apart from the hoard of guys who go to bars.”
She shakes her head and smiles broadly. “No, we didn’t meet at a club. We met when my husband gave me to Ryker to pay off his debt to him.”
My mouth drops open in shock. “Oh my God. What kind of man does that to a woman he married?”
“Not a good one. Definitely not a good one. And I wasn’t exactly given the royal treatment when I arrived here. I was a captive to a terrifying man in a mask.”
I don’t know what to say to her. This story sounds horrifying. I know I shouldn’t ask, but I can’t stop myself from wondering aloud how they moved from that to being in love with a new baby boy.
“What happened that things changed to how you two are now?”
Her smile lights up her face as she answers, “We fell in love. We didn’t start out like anything that could be considered love, but it happened. I got to know the man behind the mask and realized I didn’t want to be with anyone but him.”
“You were lucky it was Ryker. If it was my other uncle, I can only imagine what might have happened. You got the good Varens. Well, other than my father.”
Nodding, she says, “Oh, I know. I shudder to think of what might have happened if the people my husband got into debt with weren’t as good as Ryker. I know what he does, but there’s good in him.”
“Oh, I know. Ryker is more like my father than Victor. He’s awful. You’re with the better brother, for sure. And you don’t have to make excuses for what he does. I know what the Varens family is, even if my father isn’t involved in the family business.”
For nearly a minute, she doesn’t say anything else and I worry I’ve said something wrong. I truly don’t hold what Ryker or even my Uncle Victor do for a living against them. Maybe I should, but it’s been a part of life in my family for so long that I don’t give it a second thought.
As I struggle to find the right words to apologize and break the silence, Kaia says, “I guess I thought you weren’t happy about what Kane did for you because of what he and Ryker are. If that’s not it, then why don’t you seem to like him?”
I let my gaze drop to the brick pathway and shrug. “I thought he was a different person. The man I met at that place cared for me, but now that I’m here, he barely has a word to say to me. I let myself feel something for him, but obviously, he didn’t feel the same for me once everything was over. No happy ending for me like you and Ryker, I guess.”
“Oh. Well, Kane is different than Ryker. His past is very different. I don’t know everything about it, but from what Ryker has told me, he’s been through a lot.”
That doesn’t explain why he seems so disinterested in me now that I’m not being held captive, but I nod and force a smile. “I guess.”
“Have you tried to speak to him?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t go well. I’m thinking it would be better if I go home, to be honest,” I admit sadly. “You and Ryker are very nice to let me come here, but I think I should leave.”
Kaia covers my hand with hers, a gentle expression of her sympathy for me. “I’m sorry to hear that, but please know you can come here any time. I know we just met, but I like you. You’re a breath of fresh air compared to all the men who are always here.”
I look over at her and laugh. “A real sausage fest, huh? I like you too. You’re sweet, and you clearly are crazy about Ryker. I like that. The last time I saw him before this I would have bet he’d be alone forever. He seemed so cold and surly behind that mask. I’m glad you two found your way to one another.”
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I know I should apologize. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean I’m glad your ex-hu
sband gave you away to someone. I definitely didn’t mean that.”
Kaia shakes her head and gives me one of her gentle smiles. “No, I know what you meant, and he’s not my ex-husband. He died before I could divorce his rotten ass.”
“Oh.”
I don’t know what else to say about that. I have a feeling I know without asking that he didn’t die of natural causes. Ryker may be a good man to those he loves, but to those he doesn’t, he’s very much like my other uncle.
“Well, I better go back inside. It’s just a few minutes difference between sun-kissed and red as a lobster for me,” she says as she stands to leave. “Remember, the offer to come here and stay whenever you want is open-ended.”
“Thanks so much. Now might not be the right time for me to be here, but maybe in the future.”
“Whenever you want. Be sure to stop in and see the baby before you leave.”
“I will. Thanks!”
After she takes only two steps back toward the house, Kaia turns around wearing a far more serious expression than just a second ago. “I don’t know if you know this, but it was Kane who took out all those men at Duke’s because of what they did to you. Ryker told me he didn’t order him to do that. That was all Kane. From what I heard they did to you, they had it coming, though.”
Left alone in the garden, I can’t help but wonder why the man who can’t even be bothered to speak to me now was willing to kill anyone to avenge what they did to me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sophie
I wander around the estate for an hour or so enjoying how good it feels to be outside. The late July heatwave finally broken, the temperature hits the mid-eighties, but compared to the near hundreds we had for days, this weather is downright delightful. Ryker’s home and expansive grounds give me a chance to have the freedom I hadn’t been able to have even after returning home weeks ago. My parents watched over me day and night, so even a walk around the block meant I couldn’t be alone.
As I linger near a large tree enjoying the shade from the afternoon sun, I hear someone calling my name. Turning toward the sound, I see my cousin Jaxon walking across the grass coming from the house.
I can’t help but notice how similar he looks to Ryker now. The dark hair and way he wears a suit like it’s the only thing natural for him, he strides across the lawn like he owns the place.
It’s been a long time since the two of us were children and his father would bring him over to our house to visit. Nearly as much older as my uncle to me, Jaxon always seemed younger because he was willing to play with a little girl, even when he was a teenager.
“Little Sophie, I heard you were here. Did you come to see the new Varens?” he asks with a chuckle and opens his arms to hug me.
I rest my cheek on his chest, the expensive Italian suit gently brushing against my skin and reminding me of his father. Maybe I’d been wrong in my initial opinion a minute before. Perhaps he looks more like him than Ryker.
When he releases me from our embrace, he steps back and shakes his head. “I can’t believe little Sophie is all grown up. How are you?”
I force a bigger smile than I feel like giving at the moment and tug on my sleeves to make sure they cover all the way to my wrists. “I’m okay. You know, after everything.”
His smile fades as he nods somberly. “Fucking Duke Cantorini. He and all those son of a bitches got what they had coming to them, thanks to Kane. We’re all just glad he was there to watch over you.”
A fleeting thought about what Kane actually told everyone about exactly what he did to watch over me at that place makes me consider asking Jaxon, but I dismiss that as quickly as it comes. My cousin isn’t that boy who played tag with me anymore. He’s a grown man in the Varens family business and likely wouldn’t be willing to tell me much of anything about what goes on.
“So you work for Ryker?” I ask, eager to change the subject, even a little.
Jaxon shrugs. “Him. Victor. I bounce back and forth, especially since Cason only works for this side of the family now.”
I shake my head, unsure what he means by that. “This side of the family? I thought it was all Varens family business. I didn’t realize there were sides.”
“Oh, trust me. There are definitely sides in this family, and if Uncle Victor doesn’t start understanding things can’t be like they’ve always been, the situation is going to get ugly and soon.”
The darkness in Jaxon’s expression frightens me. “Ugly? What do you mean?”
Leaning in toward me, he whispers, “This family can’t have two heads like it does now. One has to go. Willingly or unwillingly. I expect that things are going to get hot very soon.”
None of this makes sense to me, but my instincts tell me this can’t be good for anyone, especially Kane. Things getting hot may mean he’ll have to do something like he did at Duke’s for Ryker.
Something that may get him hurt or killed.
“When is this going to happen?” I ask, my heart racing at the thought of Kane in danger.
But Jaxon is through sharing his opinion and simply smiles. “Don’t worry, Sophie. We’ll get through whatever happens. We Varens always do, right? Be sure to look for Cason. He and his girlfriend live in the carriage house with their kid Lukas, and I know he’d love to see you. I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you again.”
He walks away before I can ask him more about what might happen, leaving me anxious and wanting to talk to Kane more than ever. Whatever happens, I can’t let him go to battle for my family without him knowing that I didn’t mean what I said last night.
I don’t wish he died with Duke and his men. I said that to be cruel, but now after what Jaxon told me, I know I have to try at least one more time with Kane.
After twelve passes up and down the hallway outside of Ryker’s office, he appears in the doorway on my thirteenth time and lowers his mask into his hand before smiling at me. “Do you need something, Sophie?”
Feeling foolish, I lie. “I was just getting the lay of the place. You know, it’s big. It takes some getting used to.”
“Oh, okay. I thought you might have been looking for me.” He stops for a moment and then adds, “Or someone else.”
I feel my cheeks heat from a blush and shake my head. “No. Not looking for anyone in particular. Just checking everything out. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
His knowing smile tells me he doesn’t buy a word of my poorly constructed excuse for lingering in this hallway for the last twenty minutes. “Not at all.”
Looking around for some escape, I point toward the staircase. “Maybe I could go up to see Kaia and Maxim.”
“I’m sure they’d love to see you. I think he’s up from his afternoon nap by now.”
As subtly as I can, I ask, “Do all the people who live here have rooms up on the second floor? I mean, I know I do and you and Kaia and the baby do, although Jaxon told me Cason and Lily and their baby live in the carriage house, so I guess not.”
So much for being sly with that question. Rambling is not subtle in the least.
“Thinking of pacing the full length of the hallway up there?” he asks, cocking a dark eyebrow in what looks like an expression of how much he doesn’t believe my question is merely idle curiosity.
Before I can think of an answer, he smiles in that way that makes him look kind and points toward the end of the hallway opposite from where we stand. “I think the room you’re looking for is in that direction. It’s the last door before the stairs.”
Ryker turns away and walks back into his office, thankfully saving me from having to claim I wasn’t looking for anyone in particular. I hurry away as I wonder how much he knows about what happened between Kane and me, and as I race up the stairs, I hope he didn’t get every last detail.
Men say they don’t gossip, but I know better. I can only pray Kane didn’t tell Ryker everything.
I reach the top of the stairs and see the door to Kane’s room. Closed, it feels like
a symbol of him now. Somehow I’d imagined maybe it might be open so I could just knock quickly and then walk in.
So much for things being easy. But I can’t let what I said yesterday remain without telling him I didn’t mean that.
Lifting my hand to knock on the door, I see my fingers shaking. As much as I feared him at times at Duke’s estate, now he terrifies me more because of how distant he’s been. I don’t know if I can handle him being so cold again.
I lightly tap on the wooden door in front of me and whisper, “Please be here and be the man you were.”
The words barely leave my lips before he’s standing in front of me wearing only a pair of jeans. My gaze moves up his muscular body to his stern expression, but in his eyes are hints of what I hoped for a moment ago.
He doesn’t say a word, so I smile and ask, “May I come in?”
My heart races as my question hangs heavy in the air between us for a moment before he steps back to allow me into his room. Decorated almost exactly like mine with cream colored walls and dark curtains on the windows that match a navy blue bedspread, it should feel familiar but it doesn’t.
Because of him. Because he’s not the King I fell in love with back at that place.
Kane closes the door behind me as I survey the room and wonder what to say next to get him to speak to me. I turn around to see him walk past me toward the bathroom and remember that last night we spent together after he bandaged me up from what Tap did.
Instinctively, I pull the bottoms of my sleeves down past my wrists to hide the scars. When I look up, he’s watching me, his gaze practically searing a hole through me.
“Can we could talk?” I say quietly.
“It’s got to be nearly eighty degrees out. Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt?” he asks with such coldness that I wince.
Why is he asking a question he already knows the answer to?
Hanging my head, I tell him what he wants to hear. “I always wear long sleeves now.”