Location, Location, Damnation

by Nick Moseley

  Oscar rolled his eyes. 'Yeah? And how's that working out for you so far, you possessed pillock?'

  'My guess is that the answer would be "not that well",' said Trev. 'More to the point, though, why did you summon a demon to kill me?'

  'He did not,' answered the demon, its voice reverberating around the cellar. 'He had the means to entrap me, but not the method, the ritual. Another was needed to bring me here.'

  'The accomplice,' said Agatha. 'Who is it? Where are they?'

  Kökwimpaal shook its head. 'I cannot tell you. The bindings that were used in the summoning ritual prevent me from revealing certain details. However I can tell you that it was the summoner who selected the vessel called Trevor Irwin as my… prize.'

  'But why?' Trev asked.

  'Clearly the summoner recognised your power – before you did yourself, it seems – and feared it.'

  'But the attack on Kolley at the store opening? What was all that about then?'

  'Staged, for publicity,' said Kolley. 'That was one of the reasons I wanted the demon. So that I could have… staff who would do whatever I needed, without remembering it afterwards or being able to incriminate me.'

  Granddad stroked his beard. 'I see. So it was a partnership between you and the summoner. You had the Funkelay Cage, but needed someone with the know-how to make it work properly and summon a demon. Once the demon was brought here you both got the use of it. You wanted it to help save your business and your accomplice wanted it to kill Trevor.'

  'That's not how it panned out though, is it?' Trev observed. 'The demon's got control of Kolley now. That can't have been part of the plan.'

  'But it was, for one of them at least,' answered Kökwimpaal. 'The vessel you call Kolley foolishly believed that the summoning ritual would protect him as well as the summoner. It did not. The summoner offered me Kolley's soul as an alternative, had I found yours inadequate.'

  'I had the sewer worker brought here for the demon to possess as my patsy,' Kolley explained. 'I didn't know that the staged assassination attempt was going to be real. My public death and the subsequent notoriety of the incident would have made my soul more valuable to Lord Kökwimpaal.'

  'I used the vessel Harvington to observe you,' the demon said to Trev. 'Even when I revealed my presence within the vessel to you, I saw little evidence of the power my summoner claimed you possessed. So I chose instead to take the alternative prize I had been offered. You thwarted that attempt in such a way as to make me reconsider. The summoner brought me some of the feathered ones, that I might use them to observe you further. I knew that I could claim Kolley whenever I wished, although when he realised he held no control over me and panicked, I decided he would serve me well as a vessel.' Kökwimpaal paused and eyed Trev unblinkingly for a moment before continuing.

  'Proof of your power came quickly. You confronted the ghouls in their own domain and escaped unharmed; you forced your way into the Void between worlds and retrieved powerful weapons for yourself; you defeated the three vessels I sent for you; and you bested the vampire Corbyn.' The creature's mouth split into a very unpleasant grin. 'Your soul will be a welcome and impressive addition to my collection, and once I have it the summoner will release me so that I may leave this place.'

  'Why don't you get laughing boy here to let you out?' asked Oscar, nodding in Kolley's direction.

  'He does not know how to deactivate the Cage,' growled the demon. 'And nor do I. Doing it wrongly could destroy us both.'

  'I can't bloody believe this all came about because I stopped Harvington from killing Kolley,' said Trev, incredulous.

  'No good deed goes unpunished, as they say,' remarked Oscar.

  'Well a KolleyCo discount card isn't really much compensation for losing your soul,' Trev replied with a shiver. He turned to face Kökwimpaal. 'Where is your summoner? If I'm going to die here, I at least want to meet the person responsible.'

  The demon shook its head. 'Alas, you will not get that opportunity. My summoner's identity is not for you to know.'

  'You've talked enough anyway,' said Kolley. 'It's time. Your life in exchange for your friend's.'

  'I don't like that option much,' said Trev, hefting The Twins. 'I think I might just go in there and take her back.'

  Kökwimpaal bellowed laughter. 'You wish to fight? Very well, I will gladly accommodate you. You should know, though, that no human has ever bested me.'

  'You're overdue a good kicking, then,' said Trev, with approximately eight times more confidence than he actually felt. 'You don't look all that scary to me, Mr… sorry, what was your name again? Cock-pimple, was it?'

  'KÖKWIMPAAL!' roared the demon, with such force that the Funkelay Cage let off a shower of sparks. Everyone took an involuntary step back.

  'Even by your standards, that was rather foolhardy,' Agatha said, when the echoes had died down.

  'Oh I don't know, I think Trev's charm offensive is working well,' Oscar replied.

  'Come, human,' Kökwimpaal snarled, stepping back and beckoning Trev forward.

  'How do I get in?' Trev asked, looking at the crackling energy fizzing between the Cage's pillars.

  'Like I said earlier, it's built to keep non-corporeal beings confined,' said the cat. 'Flesh-and-blood can pass through easily enough. How do you think they got Sarah in there?'

  'Trevor,' said Granddad.

  'Look, I think we all knew that it was going to come to this in the end,' said Trev, resignedly. 'How about you just wish me luck?'

  'Very well,' Granddad replied. 'Kick its sorry purple backside back to its own dimension, Trevor.'

  'You can do this,' Agatha chipped in.

  'Yeah mate, dispense a bit of justice,' said Oscar.

  Trev forced a smile. 'All right, that'll do I guess.'

  Not giving himself the chance to bottle it and run away, he stepped quickly forward and through the line of pillars. As he passed between them he felt the flow of energy swirling around the Funkelay Cage. It was trapped in a closed loop, kept focused by the metal inlays. Trev was startled by how much energy there was. Oscar's warning of the side-effects of an improperly-constructed Cage suddenly made a lot of sense.

  'Prepare yourself, human,' rumbled Kökwimpaal. It held out a hand and black essence flowed forth, forming itself into a long blade. The demon swished it casually.

  'That's a big one,' observed Trev, hoping his voice didn't waver. 'Compensating for something?'

  Trev thought that it was a passably witty line under the circumstances, but Kökwimpaal's only reply was to raise its sword and try to cleave his head from his shoulders.

  Things went downhill from there.

  Forty-Four

  It took Trev a full five seconds to decide that he was in deep, deep trouble. The demon was a completely different proposition to Corbyn; the vampire had been unbelievably fast, but he'd used his speed to cover up the fact that he wasn't much of a swordsman. Kökwimpaal wasn't quite as quick – which was fortunate for Trev, because otherwise he'd have experienced a sudden and fatal reduction in height very early in the proceedings – but it wielded its sword in the sort of fluid, graceful style that would've brought a tear of joy to the eye of a Renaissance fencing master.

  Trev was barely able to defend himself from the first flurry of attacks. The assailants he'd faced previously had, for the most part, simply charged him and tried to bludgeon him to death. Such attacks were frightening, but predictable and not particularly difficult to defend against. Kökwimpaal, however, flowed from one strike to the next, always moving; the demon feinted, cut, thrust and parried relentlessly, keeping Trev off balance. There was simply no opportunity to turn defence into attack. Trev was forced to use both of his own weapons to fend off his opponent's.

  He blocked the last few strikes of a vicious sequence of attacks then steadied himself as Kökwimpaal spun away from him, giving him a second's respite before gliding back in again. Trev drew on his store of energy, trying to dredge up a little more speed or agility that would enab
le him to do more than just defend himself. He knew that he couldn't keep up the fight indefinitely. Despite the little top-up he'd managed after the fight with Corbyn, he was already feeling the drain on his reserves.

  Kökwimpaal feinted toward Trev's right-hand side, attempting to draw him into dropping his defences for an attack. Through The Twins' stored combat knowledge, Trev was able to read the feint for what it was. Instead of parrying the demon's weapon, Trev nimbly sidestepped away from the thrust and launched a counterattack. He took a large hit of his energy, in the hope that an unexpected burst of speed would be enough to get him inside Kökwimpaal's guard.

  It almost worked. The abrupt shift from stubborn defence to all-out attack caught the demon by surprise, and for the first time in the fight Trev was able to drive his opponent back. What he wasn't able to do, frustratingly, was land a hit. The advantage of surprise lasted a second or two at most before Kökwimpaal regained its composure. Its black blade whirling as it repelled Trev's assault, the demon retreated a few steps then sprang away, tucking into a smooth back-flip which carried it right to the far side of the Cage, landing close to Sarah's prone form.

  It raised its sword in salute. 'Very good,' it rumbled. 'Rarely do my human opponents last more than moments against my blade. I understand why my summoner wishes to be rid of such an enemy.'

  'I'm happy to accept your surrender if you don't want to continue,' offered Trev, doing his best not to collapse in a panting heap. Kökwimpaal merely bared its teeth in reply, and beckoned Trev forward.

  Trev didn't move. He wanted to draw the demon away from Sarah if he could. There wasn't much point in rescuing her if she'd been trampled to death in the process.

  We need to end this quickly, lad, murmured Caladbolg. You're going to run yourself dry long before the demon does if you stay defensive.

  Agreed, chimed in Tyrfing. Now is the time to take hold of your courage.

  Trev found a smirk from somewhere. 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink,' he said softly. The Twins did not respond, but Trev could feel their puzzlement. 'All right, looks like we have to take a risk or two.'

  He advanced into the centre of the Cage and gave his weapons a twirl before raising an eyebrow at the demon. Kökwimpaal raised its sword in reply and moved in to meet him. Trev tapped into his energy once again, loading it into his muscles in preparation for an all-or-nothing effort.

  The demon snapped its sword through the air in a flashing blow that Trev parried tiredly with Caladbolg. His poor defence encouraged Kökwimpaal to follow up the advantage, unleashing a rapid combination of strokes. Trev just barely fended them off, stumbling back several steps. Sensing that its opponent's stamina was failing, Kökwimpaal pressed forward, exchanging finesse for power in a succession of brutal attacks that hammered against Trev's weakening defences.

  A final overhead strike sent Trev reeling. He staggered, lost his balance and dropped to his knees, gasping. His two vapour weapons flickered and wavered as he struggled to lift them.

  Kökwimpaal bared its teeth in a victorious snarl and reached out with its free hand. There was a fizzing sound and the wavy-bladed kris knife that Trev had last seen being wielded by the doomed Steven Harvington appeared in mid air, in the centre of a small cloud of yellow gas. It dropped neatly into the demon's outstretched hand.

  'Do you recognise this?' Kökwimpaal growled. Trev nodded. 'These blades were crafted by the immortals so that our human vessels might bring us the souls of their kin. The weapons exist in both our dimension and yours, and can manifest in either. They are bound to their creators, and must answer our summons.'

  Trev stared up at the knife. His brain idly noted that the mystery of the knife's disappearance after the assassination attempt on Kolley had been solved, but he said nothing. His face was a pale mask of exhausted dejection. In his hands The Twins continued to flicker feebly.

  'Get up, Trevor!' called a worried Granddad from behind him. Trev remained silent, although his shoulders sagged a little at the sound of the old man's voice.

  'A worthy foe,' said Kökwimpaal. 'You will shine among my collection.'

  The demon stepped forward, raising the kris in preparation for the killing strike. The shifting colours of the Cage's energy field played along the weapon's blade as it reached the top of its arc. It hung there momentarily, then began its descent.

  Trev erupted up from the floor. He'd feigned exhaustion while holding back as much of his waning power as he could, in the hope that Kökwimpaal would let its guard down in the face of an apparently defeated opponent. There was enough energy left in his system for a single all-or-nothing attack, and Trev used every last scrap of it.

  He moved so quickly that his body was unable to cope. Dimly he was aware of the muscles in his left thigh tearing, and as he thrust forward with The Twins he felt something crack in his shoulder. He didn't feel the pain. His nervous system was completely overloaded.

  Kökwimpaal reaction was almost instantaneous, but it was still too slow. The demon was unable to redirect the blade of the kris enough to hit Trev, although it came within an inch or two of parting his hair as he ducked underneath it.

  Caladbolg's blade skewered Kökwimpaal through the left side of its chest, right where a human's heart would've been. The impact jarred the kris from its wielder's grasp and it clattered away across the floor. Tyrfing slashed into the demon's sword arm, almost severing it.

  There was an eerie, silent moment where everything seemed to grind to a halt. Trev remained locked together with Kökwimpaal in their gruesome tableau.

  Somewhere in the background The Twins were calling out to him, but between the thumping of his accelerated heartbeat in his ears and the demon's roar of pain and surprise, he couldn't hear what they were saying.

  I did it, thought Trev, elated. I tricked the bastard! I'm the first bloke in God only knows how long to beat a demon in a straight fight! YES!

  It was at that point that Kökwimpaal seized him with its free hand and threw him across the Cage.

  Trev landed heavily and skidded across the smooth metal inlays in the floor. His injured limbs howled with pain and he almost fainted. The Twins were knocked from his grip and bounced away from him, their blades fizzling out.

  Blackness crowded the edges of his vision. He took a series of rough, hitching breaths and tried his best to stay conscious. It wasn't easy; he barely had enough strength just to lie there.

  Through teary eyes he saw Kökwimpaal approach. The demon's black essence was streaming from its wounds like thick smoke that drifted toward the floor. As Trev watched, blinking, the trails of essence began to slacken off. Within a few seconds they had stopped altogether. The wounds he'd inflicted were closed.

  'Trevor!' shouted Granddad. Trev heard the sound of a struggle from behind him.

  'Hold him, my vessel,' rumbled the demon, looking beyond Trev to where Kolley presumably had hold of the old man. Trev tried to turn his head to look, but the pain stopped him. Moving his arms and legs gave the same result.

  'My compliments,' Kökwimpaal said, returning its attention to Trev. 'It has been a long time since one of your kind managed to land a blow against me. A very long time.'

  'Bleh,' mumbled Trev. One of his feet twitched in a rather pitiful fashion.

  'It is very difficult to harm me with just two strikes, of course,' the demon continued. 'I do not have the same vital areas, the bones, the organs, as you do.'

  'Lucky you,' Trev croaked.

  Kökwimpaal ignored the comment. It lifted its empty hand. With a crackle the kris knife appeared in its grasp again.

  'A worthy foe,' the demon said again, nodding to itself. 'Worthy, but defeated nonetheless.'

  It raised the kris again. Trev watched it wearily. This time he didn't need to fake it; he was genuinely beaten. He could scarcely move and his weapons lay well out of his reach. Even if he could have reached them, he knew he didn't have the energy left in him to reactivate them.

  Because it was all he could do, he did his b
est to summon up an expression of defiance. The result was clearly pretty poor, because the only effect it had on Kökwimpaal was to cause the demon to break into a broad grin.

  A furry black-and-white missile streaked into the Cage, nipping at Kökwimpaal's ankles. The demon snarled and swiped at the cat with its sword. Oscar scampered back out of range. There was a fine white corona glowing around his body. Trev could only assume that the cat was tapping into his own store of energy, to give himself enough speed to avoid getting skewered.

  'Do something, Trev,' Oscar said, darting in at the demon to keep it distracted. 'My playmate here's going to get bored pretty quickly.'

  '"Do something?"' Trev echoed. 'Like what?'

  'Get out, run!' shouted Granddad.

  'Helpful,' groaned Trev. He gritted his teeth and tried to get to his feet. His torn thigh burned horribly but he managed to get onto his knees, supporting himself with one hand. His right arm wouldn't do anything except hang. The steady pulses of pain throbbing through the limb told him that he'd done something nasty to his shoulder, probably a dislocation.

  Trev began an awkward crawl toward Caladbolg. There wasn't much point in following Granddad's advice and trying to run, because he couldn't. In truth there wasn't much point in trying to retrieve Caladbolg either, but at least it gave him something to do while he waited for the demon to kill him.

  'Move faster, monkey-boy,' called Oscar, still managing to keep Kökwimpaal away from Trev.

  'Shut up,' Trev answered, continuing his glacial progress across the Cage. Seconds later, Oscar's luck ran out.

  The cat had been staying clear of the demon's sword, but had allowed himself to get too focused on the weapon. He dodged a swipe from the black blade only to meet Kökwimpaal's clawed foot coming the other way. The kick carried enough force to send Oscar flying through the energy barrier and out of the Cage, landing hard on his side. He skidded across the floor and came to rest in a motionless heap against one of the bookcases.