by D K Sutton
“Nope.”
“I’d like to go with the first option,” Max said. Everyone stared at him, including me.
“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe he was willing to let one of us leave instead of getting back together. I thought Max had wanted us to be together. Had I once again got it wrong?
“Explain,” said Sean.
“Just so we’re clear. I want to get back together with Chase. But I don’t want him to be pressured into doing that just so we can keep our jobs, especially since it might not be what he wants. And if someone has to move, I want it to be me.” Max stared straight ahead, never looking at me. “Chase doesn’t like change, so I would never put him in a situation where he had to move. I started this whole thing. It’s my fault.” He turned to look at me then, his eyes full of emotion. “I should be the one to leave.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure what I was even saying no to: Max leaving or that it was all his fault.
“We just wanted you guys to be aware of what was going on.”
“The whole you know that we know thing,” Ben added.
“Exactly. We don’t want to do anything right now, but we need to be thinking about it because if we’re noticing, other people are noticing. We may be forced into a decision.”
“And we want you guys to be a part of that decision as much as possible,” Ben said. “Are we clear?”
“Not really.” I was lost. Were they asking us to do something or not?
“We’re clear,” Max said. He stood up and held out his hand for me. I didn’t even hesitate. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up. I wanted to pull Max into a hug, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready to just forgive and forget.
“Why don’t we take a week and see how it goes? We can always decide something if we need to.”
“Come on, Chase,” Max said. “Let’s go.”
Ben and Sean were conversing by the window. They were clearly done with us.
We walked out to the small area next to the sups offices. “Max,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I meant everything I said in there.” Max touched the side of my face, pushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear before walking away. I was more confused than ever.
That night I did something I swore I’d never do. I called Cameron.
“Hey, Chase. How are you?” His voice sounded so familiar and so foreign at the same time.
“Good. Is there any way we can meet? Just to talk?”
Cameron hesitated and I worried he was going to say no. “Sure. Just tell me when and where.
“Tonight. At seven. I’ll text you the address.”
My sister called while I was getting ready. “Really can’t talk right now,” I said.
“I’m meeting someone in an hour, and I need to get ready.”
“Max?” Her voice sounded hopeful. I almost didn’t tell her. She would be disappointed and not just that it wasn’t Max. “No, not Max. Cameron.” It was like a Band-Aid. Sometimes you had to just rip it off.
“Chase, are you crazy?”
“I can’t talk about it right now. Okay? I’ll tell you about it later but right now, I need to get ready.” I hung up on her before she could say another word. Ignoring would work for now, but not for long. She wouldn’t give up.
But was I doing the right thing?
CHAPTER 19
MAX
I TRIED TO IGNORE THE BANGING on my apartment door. I’d had a tough day, and I just wanted to curl up next to my dog and watch reruns of Gilligan’s Island. Was that too much to ask? I’d almost lost my job today. I’d already lost my boyfriend. What else could happen? The look on Chase’s face during the meeting had given me the slightest hope, but I was afraid of getting rejected again. What if Chase still didn’t want me?
I probably could’ve ignored the banging, but I couldn’t ignore Toby, who was barking furiously at the door and making so much noise I was sure the neighbors would be calling soon. Mrs. Davis was not my biggest fan, and losing my apartment on top of everything else would be devastating. Especially for Toby. Adjusting to new places had never been easy for him.
The banging reminded me I still needed to answer the door. Whoever it was—they were persistent and not likely to be deterred by me pretending I wasn’t home. I had no choice but to answer it. As I pulled on my sleep pants, I had the slightest hope, very slight, that it was Chase. If I didn’t answer it, I wouldn’t have to face that disappointment. And if it was him? I was making the man wait. That more than anything had me heading for the door.
I sighed as I picked up my maniac dog before reaching for the door. “Tobias, calm down,” I said as I turned the knob. I almost dropped my poor dog in surprise when I saw the person who’d been waiting impatiently for me to answer.
“Sunny?”
“Can I come in?” she asked. “There’s some old lady wandering the hallway.” Without waiting for a reply, she pushed past me.
“Of course.” I shut the door, trying to hold on to my squirming dog. Finally, I gave up and put him down. Toby ran up to her, barking ferociously. “Don’t take it personally,” I said. “He sees everyone as a threat, including the vacuum.”
She leaned down and let him smell her hand. “What a cute little dog. Tobias?”
“Toby, actually.”
She petted his head and stroked his ear before standing back up. Toby wagged his tail, deciding she was not a threat. I wasn’t so sure.
“What the hell did you do my brother?” Sunny glared at me.
“Would you like some coffee or tea? Or one of Toby’s sedatives?”
“Coffee is fine,” she said. “We might as well be civil about this.”
I prepared the coffee, a little nervous about turning my back on her. I moved sideways so I could see her and the coffee at the same time. “Did you come to exterminate me?”
“Nothing is off the table, as of yet.”
“Thanks for your honesty.” I placed the cups on the table and sat across from her. She didn’t seem threatening, and Toby had deemed her safe. But the memory of our previous conversation on how she could kill me and get away with it was at the forefront of my mind. I kept my coffee close so she couldn’t slip anything in my cup.
“Tell me what you did.”
“It’s really between me and your brother.”
“It’s really not.” She stared at me, waiting. There was no way I was going to win this, but I had to try.
“Sunny, you know Chase hates it when people invade his privacy and take away his power. You have to respect that.”
“I do,” she said, stirring sugar into her coffee. “That’s why I haven’t been here before now. That and I was researching ways to kill you. Kidding.” She smiled and I wasn’t sure she was. “Mostly.”
“Why are you here now?”
“Chase’s privacy no longer matters to me. Not when he’s going out with Cameron.”
My mouth dropped open, and I quickly shut it again. Adrenaline coursed through me. “Chase is going out with Cameron?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Why would he do that? The man was a complete ass to him.” I put my cup down before I threw it across the room. The anger was a surprise, but the jealousy…someone else touching, kissing, my Chase, that was expected. Those thoughts of losing Chase to someone else had kept me company for the last week.
“That’s what I’m asking you. What did you do that was so bad that Chase would run back to his ex-boyfriend who is a total douche?”
The guilt was never far behind. I had done this. “He didn’t tell you anything?”
“He told me you were a jerk. An ass. And he had some other colorful words to describe you. You want to go into those too?”
“No. I get the picture.” I sighed, resigned. “Chase is my competitor at work. I couldn’t figure out how he always got a better customer service rating than I did.”
“Because he’s better than you.”
“Obviousl
y. You want to hear this or not?”
She nodded for me to go on.
“I used my brother-in-law’s account to call in as a customer so I could figure out how he was getting such great ratings.”
“That’s horrible.”
I ignored her statement. “What I found surprised me; Chase wasn’t the cold bitchy guy that he pretended to be.” I glanced up at her, wanting her to believe me. “And I realized I wanted to know this guy better. I tried to talk to him, but he was very resistant.” I shrugged. “I have a bit of a reputation as a player.”
“Earned?”
“Totally. Chase was smart not to talk to me.” I stared at my cup. I was glad to finally be able to talk to someone about this, but it was still difficult. “I’d had a taste of what the real Chase was like, and I wanted more. I called again under my brother-in-law’s name.”
Her mouth dropped open. “So, you’re the guy?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Chase told me about a customer who called in. He said just talking to the guy made him want to be in a relationship. It reminded him of what he could have. Right after that, he started talking to you?”
“Yes.” I thought back. “I think it was right after that he started giving me a chance.”
“You did that, Max.”
My chest warmed up. Just by talking to me, Chase wanted to give love a chance. That was kind of amazing.”
“And then you destroyed it.”
“Hey,” I said. “You don’t even know what happened.”
“I can guess. Chase found out what you did. I just don’t know the how.”
“I introduced him to my family—including my brother-in-law.” I shook my head. I still couldn’t believe I was such an idiot.
“And you weren’t prepared for that? You didn’t realize that could happen? Seriously?”
“I’m an idiot okay? I get it. I was just so madly in love, I didn’t think of it.”
“You love him?”
“I really should have told him first and not you.”
“Too late.” She smiled. “It’s not like I didn’t know already. You guys are perfect for each other.”
“I thought you wanted to kill me.”
“I do. But mostly because you’re screwing this up, and Chase is dating his ex-boyfriend again.” She put down her coffee and focused all her attention on me. “You have to get him back.”
“Do you have any suggestions?”
“Do I have to do all the work?” She tilted her head. “Think, Max. How did you win him the first time? Maybe try that again.”
Long after she left, I thought about what she’d said. I had to do something. Waiting for Chase to decide what he wanted was no longer an option. There was no way I could let him go back to that jerk. Except, of course, I would if that’s what Chase really wanted. First, I had to find out what Chase wanted. If there was even a chance I could get him back, I was going for it. But I had to do it before it was too late.
Sunny had given me an idea. Even though I was pretending to be someone else, I was more myself and more honest when I was talking to Chase on the phone.
Looks like my brother-in-law was going to make another service call.
CHAPTER 20
CHASE
I DRUMMED MY FINGERS ON THE TABLE as I waited. I’d gotten a table in the corner away from the crowds. I didn’t like being out in public, but I couldn’t do this in private. The longer I sat there waiting, the more convinced I was that it was a mistake. I stood up to leave when I spotted Cameron walking through the door. He was tall and gorgeous, just like always. A man who captured everyone’s attention the minute he walked in the room. I waved him over, and he kissed my cheek in greeting. The familiar ache I’d had around him in the past was gone. Now he was just a pretty man to admire from afar. Not that I’d even be doing that. I thought of Max and the ache returned. Only it was deeper than I’d ever experienced with my ex.
“Chase, so good to see you.” He sat down across from me. “I was surprised to get your call. Actually, shocked is a more accurate word.” Cameron’s words seemed to carry across the room. It wasn’t that he was talking loudly, it was just the way his deep voice commanded attention. Just like Max.
I smiled at him, no longer annoyed by the attention Cameron brought on us. It didn’t seem to be at all purposeful. It was just the way he was. Had I really expected Cameron to change? “It’s nice to see you, too.”
After we ordered our drinks, Cameron shifted in his chair, not meeting my eyes. Was he nervous? “I am glad to be here”—he cleared his throat—”but I feel I should tell you I’m with someone now.”
I laughed, causing him to glance up, a frown on his face. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to laugh. I’m happy for you, Cam. I just…” I shook my head. “I’m not here to try and get you back.”
“Of course not,” he said. He took a deep breath and finally met my gaze. “Why are we here?”
My smile faded. Could I really do this? Could I really ask Cameron the questions I had? “Let’s eat first. Then I’ll explain everything.”
The waiter arrived to take our order. Cameron went first and then turned to me. I didn’t hesitate. Ordering quickly was something I’d worked on with Max. There was no wrong answer. Max never made fun of me, so I didn’t feel under pressure. It helped that I didn’t care what Cameron thought. I flirted a little with the waiter. Not that he was gay. It was obvious he wasn’t, but I’d learned from Max that treating everyone as if we were all in on some big secret together won them over.
When I glanced back at Cameron, he was staring at me. “Is my eye liner off? I’ve started wearing it to highlight the color of my eyes. Ma—” I stopped there. I didn’t want to talk about Max. Although, really, it was inevitable.
“You’ve changed.” Cameron watched me closely as if seeing me for the first time. “You’re more confident. Less afraid.”
“Oh, I’m still as anxious as you remember. I’m just working on overcoming it as best I can. In the most comfortable way I can.”
“It looks good on you, Chase.”
“The eyeliner?”
“The confidence.”
“Oh.” I blushed. “Thank you.”
We ate our meals, talking about our jobs, friends we used to have, and our families. I finished more of my meal than I expected. I was nervous. Not just about asking Cameron the questions I had but about the answers I might get. Would it be helpful or was I wasting both of our time? It was good to see him. Even if just to close that part of my life for good.
“So why are we here, Chase?”
I stretched out my fingers to release my nervous energy. “I wanted to talk about what happened with us.”
A flash of anger crossed Cameron’s face. “It’s about two years too late.”
“I know.” I sighed. “It wasn’t fair of me to leave like that. I realize that now.” I again thought of Max. But I had let Max explain. Maybe not right away, but at least I didn’t wait two years.”
The anger left as soon as it appeared, and Cameron sighed. “Why now?”
“I met someone too,” I said softly. “It didn’t work out. I’m wondering if I could have done anything…” I stared at the liquid in my drink. The bubbles in the soda migrated to the top. I wanted to be more like those bubbles, rising to the top instead of always falling to the bottom. Mostly I didn’t want to see the pity or God forbid, the gloating in Cam’s eyes.
“Chase. Please look at me.”
I lifted my eyes reluctantly. All I saw in his eyes was compassion. “I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Am I self-centered?”
Cameron laughed. “Is that what he told you?” At my glare he held up his hand. “Sorry. We’re all a bit self-centered, Chase. We see everything from our own experiences. It’s not that we can’t think of others. I’m not saying that. It’s just we have a thing called self-preservation. Sometimes that keeps us from taking chances or
wanting to see from someone else’s perspective. You and I were complete opposites. It was never going to work out.”
He was right. But what did that say about Max and me? Was there any chance? I blinked back the tears threatening to fall.
“But opposites also attract,” Cameron said. “I honestly believe that opposites can complement each other.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I mean it, Chase.” He pulled out his phone and smiled as he scrolled through it. When he found what he wanted, he turned the screen to me. It was a picture of a sweet guy with a shy smile. “This is my boyfriend, Paul.”
It wasn’t at all what I expected. “He’s very cute.”
“We’re complete opposites. But he makes me better. And I do the same for him. It wasn’t because we were opposites that we didn’t work out, Chase. We weren’t right for each other. I’m not saying I didn’t love you. I did. It’s just not the same…”
“I know.” And I did. I didn’t care for Cameron the way I did for Max.
“And if your guy is the reason for the changes, I see in you, then I think you should give him another chance.”
“You think I needed to change?” The bitterness over our relationship and how I was never good enough for Cameron was still there, somewhere inside me. Would I ever be able to let that go?
“No,” he said, taking my hand. “Change isn’t really the right word. You’re just a better version of yourself. You’re confident and happy. That’s the difference, Chase.”
“I don’t feel happy.”
“Don’t give up on love. No matter how scary it is.” He squeezed my hand and then let go.
I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Thinking of Max just made me sad and frustrated. “Tell me about your guy,” I said.
It worked. Cameron talked about Paul and how happy they were. I was a little jealous. Not of Paul, but of what they had. Was that possible for Max and me? Could I ever trust him again? I had a lot to think about but that would be later when I was alone.
Cameron insisted on paying even though dinner was my idea. As we stood up to leave, Cam touched my hand again. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I realized later, after my pride recovered, and a little processing that I didn’t always respect what you wanted. I thought you were being overly dramatic. That you acted that way to frustrate me. I realize now how hard it was for you. Talk about being self-centered.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head. “Please don’t judge this guy based on what happened with us.”