Charcoal Tears

by Jane Washington

  I finally jerked my arm free and started rubbing it. “What the hell?” I shoved past him. “Why can’t everyone just go back to ignoring me?”

  He laughed and grabbed me, spinning me around again. “I never used to ignore you.”

  “I’d step away if I were you.” The voice sounded behind me, causing both Garret and I to freeze. Garret glanced over my shoulder and his grip loosened enough for me to turn. A guy with too many tattoos and an eyebrow piercing was glaring at Garret. “That’s their girl, you retard.”

  Garret rolled his eyes. “I know, Danny—why do you think I’m talking to her?”

  “Because you want your dick kicked in?” Danny snarled, sharply enough to shock Garret into releasing me.

  I tried not to flinch. He was tall, and built like a boxer—with sharply muscled arms and a slender frame. If the boys had enemies, I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t want him to be one of them.

  “Get out of here.” Danny flicked his head to the side and Garret obediently backed away.

  I didn’t want to be left alone with the scary-looking one, so I took a few steps backwards and then pivoted, sprinting through the crowds of people. He would have been faster, but I was smaller, and it was easier for me. Behind me, a few girls shrieked out, and I glanced behind me to find that several people had been knocked over. Two guys were shouting at each other, and I barely glanced the tattoos that ran up the arm of the one closest to me before I turned again and picked up the pace. I made it back to the table and tried to look casual, averting my eyes until the fear was under control again.

  My seat had disappeared, Noah and Cabe were shoulder-to-shoulder, and the table was overflowing with people. Noah said something when he saw me, and some of the people melted away. My seat appeared again.

  I sat down and Cabe handed me another beer. I drank it, hoping to calm down my racing heart and turned to watch the dancing people. There was a girl on the outskirts moving in a way that couldn’t be misconstrued, her eyes flicking back to Noah every few seconds. The guy dancing with her was good-looking, in a preppy kind of way. I nudged Cabe’s shoulder.

  “Who’s that?”

  He followed where I pointed and stiffened. “Um…”

  I nudged him again.

  “Noah’s ex,” he admitted. I wondered why he looked so sheepish.

  Noah glanced over at him, his expression decidedly pissed off. Ah, that’s why. Cabe spread his hands out and leaned back, indicating that he wasn’t at fault.

  “What’s her name?” I asked.

  “Casey.” Noah grunted the name more than spoke it, and then he turned away, probably hoping that I’d lose interest in this particular line of questioning. I didn’t.

  “She doesn’t go to our school? How’d you guys break up?”

  Noah leaned over, fixing me with his eyes. “She goes to one of the private schools, and we broke up because she cheated on me.”

  My mouth fell open and whatever sensitivity might have been generally accepted in response to such a statement was barrelled over by the shock that forced every other emotion from my head. “What?” Most girls fell over themselves to get to Noah—I saw it every day. I found it hard to believe that one of them would be unfaithful to him.

  Noah grabbed my knee and slid me across the bench until I was tucked into his side. “She got pissed at me one night because apparently I didn’t care enough about her. She picked the wrong person to get revenge on me with.”

  My mind scattered to a million places, and then it all came together again. “Wrong person?”

  “Silas.”

  Cabe’s thigh brushed mine. “Definitely the wrong choice,” he said, his voice low. “Silas didn’t know her, but he hasn’t been interested in dating for the last year or so, we think he’s got a secret—”

  “Cabe!” Noah barked.

  Cabe stiffened, clearly having said too much, and I stared at the spot where their apartment building rose darkly into the sky. Silas had a secret… girlfriend? It was the easiest explanation as to why he wouldn’t be interested in dating anymore.

  “So Silas didn’t let her?” I tried to keep my tone even.

  Cabe laughed. “It was pretty amazing. He just stared at her until she lost her nerve. She tried to run away then, but he grabbed her and marched her straight to Noah. He forced her to tell Noah what she had just done, like an errant child. And then he picked her up, slung her over his shoulder and dumped her into the pool.”

  I almost smiled, but there was still a haunting echo inside me rolling over the knowledge that Silas might have been involved with someone for the last year… the entirety of the time that I had known him. “So then what did she do?”

  I aimed the question at Noah, and he motioned the preppy guy she was dancing with. “Kevin,” he said.

  I looked from Kevin to Casey, cataloguing her features. She had silky blond hair, short and sleek, the style screaming of the money it would have taken to maintain it. She wore a short skirt and a silky top, her perfect body shown to advantage as she danced. Her skin was porcelain, beautiful, her eyes a soft grey. I couldn’t picture her making a move on Silas. I watched Kevin and Casey until one of the guys from our school whispered something to Noah, whose jaw squared with tension. He got up, reaching over me to pull Cabe with him.

  “Stay with Seraph,” he barked to the guy, and then marched off. “Don’t let her out of your sight.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered to the stranger, not missing a beat. “Gotta go.”

  I slipped away before he could stop me, and I heard him cursing behind me. I followed Noah’s golden head winding through the people and ended up pressed to the side of a boat house, peering around the corner to where Noah and Cabe were facing off against a group of three boys and two girls.

  “We’re not here to cause any trouble,” one of them was saying. He was our age, and had the build of an athlete.

  “Right,” Noah scoffed. “The fire last time was an accident.”

  The boy grinned, twisting his fingers before his face. I gasped, watching the little darts of light that danced around his fingertips. “The valcrick does what it wants most of the time.”

  I tried to get a closer look at the boy and pressed myself tighter to the wall when the sparks illuminated his face, revealing one light brown eye and one dark brown eye.

  “I know you’ve found a new Zevghéri,” he said. “I want to see her. My handler sent me to check her eyes.”

  “No.” Noah was calm, but his voice resonated with finality.

  “Let’s just go find her, Bill,” one of the girls said, sounding bored.

  “You’ll have to go through us.” Cabe faced the others, shoulder-to-shoulder with Noah. I thought that maybe the others would laugh, or bring up the odds, but they fell silent.

  “You’re keeping me away deliberately,” Bill said, his eyes bouncing from Noah to Cabe and back, performing a sweeping appraisal of each. “Why?”

  Noah tightened with tension, seeming to tremble as he curled and uncurled his fists—the motion was less aggressive and more nervous. “She’s not ready, you know how it is. She wasn’t born into a Zev family, so this is all a massive shock to her. She’s having a hard time dealing with it.” I was? “Tell the Klovoda we need more time.” Klovoda?

  Bill lifted a brow, seemingly subdued by Noah’s response. “How much more time do you need?”

  “A year.”

  Bill’s group all seemed to laugh as one unit, and Bill slapped his leg uproariously. “A year! Have you lost your mind? But wait…” He straightened, his eyes narrowing. “If she has a pair, but she’s too young to act on it, to they’re too young…”

  Noah and Cabe said nothing, and the others started to whisper amongst themselves.

  “She has a pair?” Bill directed the question to Noah, his tone slightly breathless.

  Still, the boys said nothing, and eventually Bill’s anger started to shine through. “I get it, you know—the pairing is difficult; my girls still figh
t every other day. You ask me? It’s not natural, but I suppose it’s preferable to the alternative. If you tell me that that’s what it is, the Klovoda might back off a little bit. But if she has made a pair, then she’s powerful. They’re going to want to know more. I won’t be able to hold them back. People like me and her… we’re important. You both,” he pointed at Noah and Cabe, and then shook his head, a frustrated sigh slipping from his lips, “you both know that better than anyone.”

  More silence.

  “Ugh.” Bill cut his hand through the air. “Fine, we’ll go. But we’ll be back. You can’t guard her forever.”

  He turned and strode into the trees on the other side of the boat shed, and I noticed a sixth person separating himself from the shadows of the trees to follow their group. He was wearing a hoodie drawn up to shadow his face, but the sleeves were bunched up to his elbows and I caught a glimpse of the tattoos marking him. A little while later an engine roared to life.

  “Come out, Seraph,” Noah sighed.

  I stepped out from my hiding place and Cabe spun around, blinking. “How’d you know she was there?”

  Noah rolled his eyes. “She gasped when he sparked up.”

  Cabe walked to me and grabbed my shoulders. “How much did you hear?”

  I shrugged, and he considered me seriously for another moment before laughing and shaking his head. “We should put bells on you or something.”

  I convinced them to let me skip the rest of the party and then ran into the apartment building, taking the elevator to the top floor. I tried to open Cabe and Noah’s apartment but it was locked, and I didn’t want to knock on Quillan and Silas’s door, so I rode back down to the lobby and exited the building again, walking in the opposite direction of the party toward the other end of the bay.

  “Yes she’s inside, I followed her to the lobby and saw her get in the lift myself…”

  I paused, hearing the familiar voice, and watched with trepidation as Silas’s silhouette separated itself from the shadows of the trees right in front of me. He was facing the other way, his head lowered and his phone pressed to his ear. I considered staying and listening in on his conversation in an attempt to learn more about the things they were hiding from me, but Silas was not like the others. He had more secrets than most, and he guarded them with unnerving skill—I wasn’t willing to see how he would react to eavesdropping. I turned and tried to backtrack as quietly as possible, but a hand landed on my shoulder. His fingers grasped firmly, yet without any uncomfortable pressure. Did he know how much it affected me when people touched me?

  “I’ve got to go.” He still spoke into his phone. “I’ll talk to you later.” I didn’t turn around, instead focussing on his touch. Was it coincidence that his fingers skirted the skin around the material of my dress?

  “I was just going for a walk.” My words drifted off into the night, since I was currently unable to face him. “The apartment is locked.”

  His hand fell away from my shoulder, but I still didn’t turn. I had never been alone with Silas, and now I found myself undeniably afraid. I had trusted him for a year, though he had given no indication that I should trust him, and now the mystery of him was revealed, and a scission had been rendered between us. It wasn’t his person that I was afraid of, nor was it the sudden, uncertain air that hovered over our interactions… no, it was the despair that I felt for losing my quiet confidant.

  “Miro was home.” He sounded suspicious. “You didn’t check the other apartment?”

  “No.”

  “And so naturally… you decided to go for a walk. Alone. You do realise that someone is stalking you, don’t you, angel?”

  I turned slowly, bringing his face into focus. He stepped back from me and pulled his hood up so that his face was shielded, his irises glittering darkly. Only the firm line of his mouth was now visible, tugged down into its usual scowl by the scar on the left side.

  “What’s with the nickname?” My voice was rendered hard by my own nerves.

  He took another step back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. I wondered if he was uncomfortable being near me. “Angels are untouchable.” His tone was softer now, his Slavic accent deepening and giving the words a fuller edge, despite his quiet tone. “They don’t belong here. I’ve told you before, you shouldn’t be here.”

  “Maybe if you told me…”

  His sudden laughter shocked me. “Don’t be silly, Seraph. You already know too much. One day you will know everything, and the damage will be irreparable, so expect me to prolong that day for as long as possible. You’ll get no information from me.”

  I stared down at my hands, the dark fire in his eyes too much for me. “The others don’t agree with you?”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “You sound bitter.”

  He laughed again, and took two long strides forward, until the toes of his shoes met mine and I could feel the stir of his breath against my hair. “I am bitter, but not for the reasons you think. I am bitter because of you.”

  He grabbed my arm and turned me around, marching me back toward where I had come from. I startled at the sudden skin-on-skin contact, bracing myself for the scratching sensation, or even something darker. Instead, warmth suffused my blood. It bubbled happily beneath the surface and whispered to me that the heat of his body, striding beside mine, was comfortable. Right. Normal. My thoughts scattered to the far corners of my brain and I grappled with them, trying to recall what he had just said.

  I am bitter because of you…

  I stumbled, but he only pulled me upright and continued walking, not pausing until we had passed the doorman and were standing before the elevator. He deposited me inside and then stepped away abruptly after releasing me, his hands making a hasty retreat into the relative safety of his pockets.

  “I’m sorry,” I said as the doors began to close on his face. “I don’t know what I did…” the doors met and the elevator began to move, “but I’m sorry…” My voice bounced around the empty elevator car and seemed to assault my heated ears, indicating that my face was burning already, Silas’s parting expression gradually branding itself into my memory. The fire in his eyes had been momentarily doused, a dull yet resonating expression of torture taking residence instead. He hadn’t handed me a key for Cabe and Noah’s apartment, so I knocked on Quillan’s door when I reached the top floor.

  “Had enough?” Quillan asked before the door had even fully opened.

  I nodded and he stood aside for me to pass. I followed him to the kitchen, and then he turned to the right, opening another door and motioning me inside the room. I stepped down onto soft carpet and blinked in the darkness, the only light coming from the television screen. He stretched himself out onto one of the couches and folded his arms behind his head.

  “Gave up on the party?” There was a curious lilt to his question, and I wondered what my expression was currently telling him.

  Was it obvious that I was uncomfortable being alone with him—even more so than the other three? Or was it that my discomfort was different with each one of them? Was he somehow already aware of my encounter with Silas?

  I glanced at the flatscreen, not recognising the movie that he was watching. “Cabe and Noah’s door was locked.” I shifted on my feet.

  “Don’t look so nervous, Seph, it’s fine. Sit down.” Already he was beginning to relax me.

  He’s safe, I thought as I looked at him. Quillan was as safe as his twin was dangerous; he was as safe as Cabe was comfortable, as safe as Noah was intense.

  “Thanks.” I folded myself into the opposite corner of Quillan’s couch, tucking my legs beneath me and resting my head on the armrest.

  He turned back to the screen, and I pretended I was watching the movie too. In reality, I was trying to find the differences between him and his twin. Silas had longer hair, and dressed very differently, but…

  “You’re identical.”

  Quillan chuckled, his brows drawing up in question
. “Silas and I? You only just noticed?”

  “You seemed so different… before now.” I’ve known him for a year, and I never even realised.

  “How?” Quillan was interested. “And how did you know it was Silas, the first time, and not me?”

  I swallowed, my eyes flicking to the floor, considering my response. I wanted to come clean about my history with Silas, but the look in his eyes as the elevator closed on his face was still haunting me, so instead I said, “His eyes are different.”

  “They’re the same colour.” Quillan frowned in thought.

  “They’re different,” I countered gently.

  “How?” The shift in Quillan’s demeanour was familiar; I had seen it before when Noah was teaching me to play the piano. It was thinly veiled curiosity that hinted at a tinge of misplaced wonder.

  “I don’t want to embarrass him.” My voice was faint, and I stared unblinkingly at a tiny dust ball clinging to the carpet. It seemed out of place in their apartment.

  “You can’t embarrass him if he’s not here to listen to whatever you have to say.”

  I considered his words and then replied. “You don’t like violence.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Silas does.”

  He tilted his head to the side, blinking once in a surprised manner, his brows drawing together. “He may be a little… anti-social, but that doesn’t necessarily make him violent.”

  Hearing Silas casually described as anti-social was so out-of-place that I actually snorted out a laugh. Quillan’s lip quirked in response, but he kept his expression otherwise schooled. He seemed to be waiting.

  “I haven’t misinterpreted his social grace, Bossman. You’re right, not all silences are dark, but his are. He’s seen a lot of pain in the past, and it hasn’t stayed there—where it should be. It’s here too, everywhere that he is, waiting for him at the end of each day and waking him up each morning.”

  “That’s a very keen observation, considering you’ve only just met him.”