by Bella Emy
While they’re playing, we stand behind them and watch them have a ball.
I cross my arms across my chest and decide to ask him again about things with Justine. He didn’t really answer me the first time.
I want the best for my best friend, but I’m not so sure Justine is it for him. I know she’s the mother of his child and he loves her, but I don’t think she cares about him as much as he does her. It’s a shame though. They could be a nice little family, but instead, she usually acts like a bitch.
“How’s things going since you moved back, dude?”
Ryker looks at me and smiles widely. “I’ve been getting laid every night.”
I shake my head. “That’s not what I asked you.”
Ryker shrugs, chuckling. “You know Justine, man. One minute she’s wonderful, affectionate and loving. The next, she doesn’t want to be bothered. I’m just happy to be seeing Mandy every single day.”
I nod. “I know you are, bro. But I hate that she’s like night and day with you, and you never know how she’s going to react to something. Is this how you really want to spend the rest of your life?”
He shrugs again, and this time his smile is gone. “I don’t know. What am I supposed to do, man? Leave and only see Mandy when it suits her?”
I wave my hands in front of me. “Not at all. That’s not what I’m saying. But are you only with her to see Mandy?”
“Daddy! Mandy and I want to go in the ball pit! Can we? Can we? Please!” Gianna tugs on the side of my jeans.
I look down at her and nod. “Of course, princess. Let’s head over there.”
The four of us walk to the ball pit and maze of plastic tubes. Kids running around like monkeys and their parents chasing after them surround us. The girls flick their shoes off and dart to the ball pit while Ryker and I place them in adjacent cubbies.
We make sure to have a good view of the girls and take a seat on one of the nearby benches.
“I don’t know, Enz. I love Justine. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m not so sure she always loves me, you know?” Ryker finally says more than asks.
I lean forward and place my elbows on my knees. “I totally understand, and I sort of sensed it. That’s why I asked. It’s a difficult situation, but you definitely shouldn’t be with someone if you don’t feel they love you as much as you love them.”
“What about Mandy? I love seeing my little girl every day. The thought of being away from her again for days and sometimes weeks at a time kills me.” He stares at her as she plays with Gianna in the ball pit, and I know it would really tear him up inside to be away from her again.
I frown. I know where he’s coming from because I would hate not to see my baby every single day. I’ve never been through what he has, but I know for a fact I would be devastated. Nothing means more to me than my princess.
“I know, Ryke. It’s not something easy to go through. I’m praying things get better and she’ll change and realize what she has.”
“I hope so too, bro. Thanks.”
I straighten and look at him. “For what?”
He shrugs. “For always having my back. For always looking out for me. For being the brother I never had.”
I place an arm on his shoulder. “Of course, man. We’re bros for life. You know I got you and your little girl, no matter what.”
I could be mistaken, but he looks like he’s getting a little teary-eyed.
“Thanks, Lorenzo.”
I nod and sit back, letting my arm fall to the side.
Then he takes me by surprise. “So… How about Carissa?”
The mention of her name sends shivers up and down my spine. Fuck, she was something else. The way she looked Friday night… I could stare at her all evening.
Those lips of hers fucking called out to me so many times. I wanted to taste them so badly. Lord knows how many times they’ve crossed my mind, as well as all they can do.
Fuck. I need to get these thoughts off my brain. This isn’t the damn time nor place for it.
But fuck, I was so close to kissing her. Both times I tried, I chickened out. I couldn’t do it. I was afraid and nervous. What if she’d pull away? What if she didn’t want me to?
I was also very skeptical about bringing Gianna up in the conversation. My baby girl is my number one priority, but how would she feel about it? If I would have sensed she had a problem with me being a dad, I would have been gone. If someone can’t accept my baby girl, then I know for sure they’re not the one for me. We come as a package deal.
And Sylvia… I was about to tell Carissa about her, but I couldn’t bring myself to get into it. Maybe another day, but Friday wasn’t it.
I know if there is any chance of this going anywhere, I will need to tell her about Sylvia. For now, I want to keep things light and easy.
Damn, holding back from kissing her had not been easy at all. I was so close to leaning in and stealing a kiss from those succulent lips of hers… luscious lips…
Then Sylvia’s face came to the front of my mind, so I left without looking back. Lord knows I had wanted to stay and kiss her, but I couldn’t handle the guilt.
And yet, since I’ve met her, all I can think about is her. Even more so now since Friday. I think I’m falling for her.
Does that make me a bad guy? Does it mean I’m forgetting about Sylvia?
I frown and look at Ryker, not knowing what to say.
“What? What’s the matter, bro? She ducking you?”
I shake my head. “No. Not at all. As a matter of fact, we’ve been nonstop talking and texting since that night. I can’t get her out of my mind.”
He smiles. “That’s awesome, man. So why do you look like something is wrong?”
I shrug, take a deep breath, and look at my daughter, the spitting image of her mother. “How can I even begin to entertain the thought of being with another woman, bro? I look at Gianna, and all I see is Sylvs. How can I ever go down that route again?”
Ryker waves at the girls who just shouted excitedly to grab our attention. “Sure, Gianna does look like Sylvia a lot, but don’t forget she’s got a lot of you too. Look at her,” he says, pointing at my daughter. “That’s your smile right there.”
It’s true. I’ve heard so many times that my baby girl has my smile. I see it too. But the rest is all her mother. Okay, and maybe she has my strong-willed character too.
“I know,” I say, not adding any more.
“Enz, you’ve gotta think of it this way. Sylvia would never have wanted you or Gianna to be sad or suffer. She wouldn’t want to think it’s because of her that you’re holding back. It’s been five years, dude. I think it’s okay if you start dating again. Hell, it’s even okay if you fall in love again. It doesn’t mean you stopped loving your wife. Sylvia will always have a special place in your heart.”
For the first time since meeting Ryker, he’s speaking words with so much depth.
“Just think about it, bro. You don’t have to marry her,” he says.
He’s right. Holding myself back isn’t working. Carissa is on my mind all the time. When I’m not with her, we’re talking through text or on the phone. She’s not texting me now because she knows I’m out with Ryker. I told her it would be all right, but she insisted for me to just text her when I get back. She wanted me to enjoy time with my friend and our kids.
“You’re right, bro,” I say.
“Oh, I love hearing that. Tell me again.”
I chuckle and hit Ryker in the arm. “Shut up, ass.”
“I would say go get some right now, but I think I’ll lay off the jokes for a while.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Anytime, Enz. Anytime.”
I put Gianna to bed and plop down onto the couch, pulling out my phone. I go into the text messaging app and bring up my conversation with Carissa.
I look at her picture on top and bite down on my bottom lip. She’s beautiful. I still can’t get over what a dumbass her ex was.
Me: Hey,
beautiful. I just put Gianna to bed. We got home a little while ago. How was your day?
I hit send before I even realize I called her beautiful. I don’t think I should have said it, but hopefully she doesn’t take it the wrong way.
I turn on the TV and flip through some channels. Nothing remotely entertaining catches my eye, but I only like silence when I’m lying in bed. Moments later, her reply comes through.
Carissa: Hey! Did you guys have fun? I’m about to drive home… I had to work last minute. My friend asked if I could fill in for her. It’s been a long day. I can’t wait to go home and lie in bed.
Mmm. I would love to see that.
Me: Yeah, we had a great time. The girls had so much fun. I’m sorry you had a long day :( Grab a glass of wine when you get home.
Carissa: LOL I don’t drink much. But a glass of wine while lying in the bathtub does sound like a dream. I love bubble baths.
Oh my God… bathtub? Jesus, I need to take this conversation into safer grounds. Now.
Me: Can I see you tomorrow?
Gianna is on break from school and is going to be spending the next couple of days at my parents’ house. This will give me time to myself to do whatever I want. I love spending every minute with my daughter—don’t get me wrong—but sometimes it’s nice to only have to worry about myself. I know it sounds selfish, but that’s the last thing I am. I just want to be selfish right now and see where this leads with Carissa. I’m not sure I can take it leading anywhere, but I’d like to take it step by step and see how I feel when I’m with her. Hanging out with her is going to be the only sure way for me to know if there can be anything between us at all. If she’s off work tomorrow night, maybe she’ll agree to seeing me again.
I wait for her to answer, but I’m growing impatient. Maybe it’s too soon to see her again. Maybe she doesn’t want to. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent the last message, like I probably shouldn’t have called her beautiful. She didn’t seem to mind me calling her beautiful, I don’t think. Well, at least I didn’t type out Luscious Lips. How would I have explained that one to her without her hating me?
Damn, Lorenzo, get your shit together and don’t fuck up.
I scroll up to reread the message she sent after I called her beautiful, but she seemed okay. Dammit, it’s so hard to interpret how things are said when it’s over text messages. Sometimes I wish people still talked on the phone like they used to instead of texting.
Twenty minutes pass before she texts me again.
Carissa: Just got home… for nine o’clock at night, there was more traffic than usual. But yes, I would love to see you tomorrow :)
Phew, that’s a relief.
Me: Perfect. Can I cook for you?
Carissa: You cook?
Me: I’m a single dad. I sure do.
The realization of my text hits me hard. Single dad. I’ve never referred to myself as one before, even if I am, but talking to Carissa has made me say and type things I would have never imagined just weeks ago.
Carissa: I’m totally impressed. A hot guy who cooks? I’m sold :)
A Kool-Aid Man smile forms on my face. She called me hot. Of course I know what most women think about me. I’m not stupid. Owning a gym, being a UFC fighter, and being in many tournaments, there are a ton of women around. I’ve always chosen to keep my distance because of Sylvia, but I’ve heard things and have had women throw their panties at me during matches. Carissa has been the first woman from the crowd I’ve tried to pursue.
Me: For you, I’d cook anything.
What the hell was that? Quickly trying to redeem myself, I compose another text.
Me: Your ex didn’t cook?
Carissa: Steve? LOL no way. I had to wait on him hand and foot. He did nothing.
Me: :( that’s crazy. I’m sorry.
Carissa: It’s okay. It’s not important now. What are you going to make for me?
Mmm, a nice dessert and load you up with whip cream…
Okay, what? My mind is in the gutter, but I’m choosing to blame her and her bubble bath images she forced me to think of.
Okay, maybe she didn’t force me, but come on. The mention of it coming from her? How could I not?
Me: Do you like Italian?
Carissa: I LOVE Italian.
Nice. Then she’ll adore me.
Jesus with the cheesiness. I need to cool off. I better hit the shower.
I decide to send her one last text for the night, because at this point, I’m going to be having a date with my hand within the next five minutes.
Me: Cool. I’ll send you my address.
I type it to her, wish her a good-night, and hop off the couch.
This woman is going to be trouble for me… I can feel it.
Chapter Fifteen
Lorenzo
“Is Auntie Mari going to get here soon? I want to go to Nonna’s,” Gianna whines, sitting patiently—or rather impatiently—for my sister to pick her up. She’s twirling her hair around her finger.
The smell of dinner brewing in the oven fills the house. I’m hungry and can’t wait to eat.
Marianna is running thirty minutes late. She got held up at work. I offered to drop Gianna off at my mother’s house, but she insisted on waiting for her Auntie Mari. Apparently, she likes riding in her car better. Guess Daddy’s truck is just not as cool as Auntie Mari’s Audi.
It’s Monday, four days before Christmas. Gianna is off from school for the next two weeks or so, and she’s going to be spending the first couple of days at my mom’s house. Typically, on Christmas Eve we go to my mom’s house for dinner and open gifts at midnight. Since Gianna is little and doesn’t make it till midnight no matter how hard she tries, we usually let her open a bunch right after dinner. We spend the night so we have brunch the following morning, and Gianna opens the gifts from Santa then.
This year, she will already be there. I’m just going to meet her there when I go on Christmas Eve, which falls on a Thursday this year.
I flick my wrist and check the time on my watch. “She should be here any minute, baby girl.”
As those words leave my mouth, the doorbell rings. Gianna and I exchange looks. She’s smiling widely at me.
“See, there’s your auntie right there. Go grab your teddy and backpack.”
“Yay!” Gianna leaps off the couch and heads into her room to grab her bag and teddy bear. She never leaves to spend the night without that thing. She’s had it since she was a baby and sleeps with it every single night. She gives the phrase “attached at the hip” new meaning.
I walk to the door and open it. To my surprise, it’s not Marianna.
Carissa stands in front of me wearing a dazzling smile, and my God, does she look breathtaking in her tight red dress… She’s wearing a sparkling red lipstick that matches her dress, making her lips look even better than they typically do. Luscious Lips…
“Carissa, hi.” I smile, genuinely delighted to see her, but I totally forgot she was going to be here so soon. I stand in between the door and its frame, leaving it barely cracked. Shit, where’s Marianna? She was supposed to have picked up Gianna by now.
“Hi. I hope I’m not too early. I wanted to beat traffic, so I left a little bit earlier than I was intending to.”
“No, no. You’re fine,” I respond, still captivated by the way she looks. Damn…
Her smile starts to fade, and a confused expression graces her face. “Uh, can I come in?”
I shake my head, snapping out of my daze. “Oh, yeah… Of course, I’m sorry.” I step out of the way so she can walk in.
Before she does, she looks past me and stops dead in her tracks. “Hi, you must be Gianna. I’m Carissa.”
I snap my head to the left, and standing next to me is my little girl with her backpack sitting on her shoulders and her teddy bear clutched closely to her chest.
I wasn’t planning on introducing Gianna to Carissa, at least not for a long time. I’m very overprotective of my daughter, and anything I d
o has her best interests in mind. I don’t know if introducing her to someone I’m seeing—especially when I’m not sure if it’s going to lead anywhere—is such a good idea. Are we technically even seeing each other? We’ve only just started hanging out a few times.
I gently place a hand behind Gianna’s back and nudge her forward. “Go on. Be polite. Say hello to daddy’s friend, Carissa.” Was I supposed to call her that?
Gianna brings a finger up to her mouth and whispers, “Hello.”
Carissa looks back at me and smiles. “She’s so precious.”
I smile back. “Thank you, come on in.”
She walks in, and I close the door behind her. As she makes her way into the living room and places her coat and purse onto the couch, Gianna stays close to me. She’s shy when she doesn’t know someone. Plus, we’re not used to having new people over.
“Wow, that smells incredible,” she says.
“Thanks, it should be just about done.”
I pick up some of Gianna’s toys from the living room and try to apologize. “Please excuse the mess. I’m sorry, my sister should be here any moment to pick her up. She’s running late at work.” I sit on the arm of the couch and Gianna places herself in between my legs.
Carissa smiles. “It’s not a problem, really. I’m happy I got to meet her. I know how important she is to you.”
I nod, but is it possible for her to already know just how much Gianna really means to me?
“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, searching her big brown eyes. Damn… gorgeous.
She shakes her head. “No, I’m good, thanks.”
Carissa’s gaze wanders back to my daughter, and I can tell she wants to say something. Just as she opens her mouth, the ringing of the doorbell stops her.
“Okay, now that’s Aunt Mari,” I say to Gianna. She’s trying to hide her smile as her eyes flash back to Carissa.
I chuckle softly and carefully move her to the side so I can answer the door. “Hang on, sweetheart.”
As I open the door wide for Marianna, she barges in without noticing Carissa. “I’m so sorry! I tried to leave on time, but this time of the year is absolutely nuts. Wow, the food smells amazing! What did you—” Marianna’s eyes meet with Carissa’s, and I just stand back watching. “Oh, I’m sorry. Hi, I’m Marianna, Lorenzo’s sister.” She steps forward, extending her hand.