by Bella Emy
I had already told Marianna I had a date with Carissa tonight, but I was hoping not to have to introduce them to one another. Not yet anyway.
Carissa’s radiant smile lights up the room. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Carissa.”
I’m never going to hear the end of this once I’m alone with Marianna on Christmas Eve.
“Auntie Mari!” Gianna shouts, throwing herself at my sister.
Marianna lifts Gianna up into her arms. “Hi, princess!” She places kisses on both of her cheeks. “Are you ready to go?”
Gianna nods fiercely a couple of times. “Yes! I’m ready!”
Marianna smiles. “Okay, go on and say bye-bye to Daddy.”
“Okay.”
Marianna places Gianna back down on the ground. My daughter comes darting at me, and I pick her up.
“Bye, Daddy!”
I give her a kiss and hold her tight. “Bye, sweetheart. Be good for Nonno, Nonna, Aunt Mari, and Uncle Maxy. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Okay, Daddy.” I place her down, and she goes straight for my sister’s hand. “Come on, Auntie Mari, let’s go.”
“Okay, let’s go,” Marianna repeats. She looks at Carissa and says, “It was nice meeting you. I’m sorry, she’s in a rush to go.”
Carissa shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Oh, it’s fine. It was very nice meeting you too. Bye, Gianna.”
“Bye,” Gianna answers, finally smiling at Carissa. That smile right there tells me she likes her. That’s a damn relief for me.
Once they’re out the door and on their way, I lock it and turn around to face Carissa. “I’m so sorry. My daughter is always ready for the next big thing. Plus, she loves going over to my parents’ house and hanging out with them and my siblings.”
She chuckles softly. “It’s okay, really. She is adorable. Your sister seems very nice too.”
“She can be a real pain in the ass,” I say, shrugging.
She laughs. “Aren’t all sisters?”
I nod. “True that.” I remember her telling me things her older sister used to do to her when they were growing up. They were all jokes, and Carissa would do the same to her sister at any chance she got, but since Carissa was younger, her sister got her a hell of a lot more.
“Please, have a seat.” I motion toward the couch.
We sit fairly close to one another, and the sudden urge to kiss her—the one I felt last time we were together—comes rushing back. Sure, I was in awe of her when I first saw her, but I think because Gianna was here, it was holding me back from feeling what I am now… how much I want this woman, right here on my couch.
Damn, where the hell did that come from? I’ve been very physically attracted to her since the first moment I saw her, but actually considering touching her is something new… at least admitting it to myself is. I’ve wanted to kiss her for a while. I’ve thought about it plenty of times, and I’ve come close to doing it. But now, admitting to myself that I want her right here and right now, that’s something new.
And I want her in every sense of the word. If this were back in the day before I met Sylvia, I would have made a move on Carissa already. I would have taken her into my arms and kissed her fiercely, lying her back on this couch.
But not today. Today, I’m reserved, and although Lord knows I want to make a move, I won’t do it.
“So, are you still close to her mother?” Carissa asks, bringing me out of my very inappropriate thoughts.
I furrow my brows. “Whose mother?”
“Your daughter’s?”
Oh, crap. That’s right. We never discussed her mother, my late wife. I’m not used to someone addressing Sylvia as just Gianna’s mother. It was always your wife… even though she’s gone. Addressing her as just Gianna’s mother seems like we’re no longer together, not that she’s passed away. Of course Carissa is assuming Sylvia and I broke up. Any normal person wouldn’t automatically assume someone else has passed away.
I swallow hard and take a deep breath.
Carissa takes notice and her expression changes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just—”
“No, no. It’s fine.” I struggle with finding my next words, but somehow, I make it through without bringing myself to tears. “Her mother, my wife… She passed away when Gianna was just a baby.”
Carissa’s mouth forms an O as she gasps. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
I shake my head. “You couldn’t have… I don’t typically bring her up in conversation. I had a hard time pushing through it for the longest time…”
She nods. “I can understand that. It seems you did great with Gianna.”
A small smile forms on my face. “Thanks. I had a lot of help from my family.”
“It’s great they’re there for you.”
I nod. “I don’t know where I would be without them.”
She smiles, not saying anything further.
I stand and say, “Hey, I think it’s just about done. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable, and I’ll see if it’s ready.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
“That was delicious. Have you always been such a wonderful cook?” Carissa asks with a smile.
I take a sip of wine and shake my head. “Definitely not. I learned a few things once I became a daddy. Since I live here alone with my daughter, I need to make sure I feed her good, nutritious food. You can thank my mother for that recipe.”
She laughs. “Maybe I will.”
Her words have a lot more meaning than I realized before I heard them. Maybe she will…
She’d have to meet my mother for it to happen, or talk to her on the phone. Either way, it’s a lot.
Maybe it’s too much.
But maybe it’s time.
As we sit on the couch in the living room of my place, I lean in a bit closer to her. I know it’s either now or never. If I’m not ready to do this now, will I ever be?
I need to take the next step, see if this thing is even worth trying for.
But is there a point to this? Why am I trying to find love again? Is that even what I’m doing? At this point, I don’t know. I don’t have any of those answers.
All I do know is whenever I’m not with this woman, she’s always on my mind. Sometimes it’s pure and innocent thoughts, like how sweet she is and how much we seem to be getting along.
But other times?
Other times she makes me think of things I want to do to her, with her, that I haven’t done in so long. Things I haven’t wanted to do ever since my wife died.
It’s been five long, hard years, but now, I’m starting to feel them again. Now I’m coming to life.
And it has to be because of her.
I know this is all new for her too. She’s told me plenty of times her ex screwed her up and she’s been against dating since it ended between them.
There’s something about when she’s with me or when we’re talking on the phone. I feel an instant connection, an instant chemistry between us.
Her eyes tell me she wants me too. The way she’s staring at me with those bedroom eyes… I have to go for it.
“Carissa,” I whisper.
“Yes?” she replies in the same low tone.
I continue leaning closer, and now she’s doing the same. I point upward, and her eyes follow my finger. Above us is the mistletoe Gianna insisted we buy for our home and place directly above the couch.
Her eyes come back to mine, and I can’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around her.
Bam. Our lips come together in a gentle crash of emotions.
After so long, after seeing her and coming so close to doing it just before pulling myself away, I’m finally letting it all go and kissing the one woman who I can’t seem to get my mind off of.
This has nothing to do with the mistletoe. Were it not there, I still would have kissed her.
And now, the nickname I’d given her when I first saw her, Luscious Lips, also has new meaning.
>
Damn, they’re perfect.
Damn, they’re soft.
Damn, I can’t get enough.
I feel her writhing in my embrace as a soft moan escapes her.
Jesus fucking Christ. She’s making it really hard for me to hold back and only kiss her.
However, it’s all I do, and she continues yearning for me.
We kiss softly for the next couple of minutes until I pull away. I pull away not because I’m afraid or because I want to stop kissing her.
No, it’s quite the opposite.
If I didn’t stop when I did, I would have wanted to go further.
Damn, hearing her sexy moans is only intensifying every single thought I’ve ever had of her as I’d lie in bed every night. The hard-on in my jeans confirms it.
Kissing her is everything I imagined it would be. Kissing her made me want her even more than I thought before, and now I want to take that next step with her.
I do.
I truly do. My dick is pure indication of it, and if I were wearing sweatpants, I’m sure she’d notice it too.
But the next step is not one I’m ready to take. Not yet anyway. Maybe someday.
As our lips part and we pull back from one another, we both smile, but my arms never let her go.
We spend the evening on my couch, kissing innocently and nothing more until it’s time for her to go home.
Chapter Sixteen
Lorenzo
“Man, I really thought this year, she would have made it,” Marianna says to me, pointing at Gianna who is cuddled up against me on the couch. She’s holding on tightly to one of the new dolls she received tonight.
I chuckle. “Well, she definitely tried.”
It’s just after midnight, and we opened all the presents not long ago. Now I’m sitting with my sister in my parents’ living room while Max is in the other room finishing the rest of the pie with Mom and Dad.
Marianna sits back against the couch as she swirls the wine in her cup. Then she flashes me a knowing look.
Oh shit, here we go.
“So, Carissa, huh?”
Damn. As soon as she says her name, the taste and feel of her lips against mine are all I can think about. Fuck, I miss kissing her.
I miss her.
I shake the thoughts from my head before Marianna can pick up that I’m daydreaming about Carissa.
I knew it was too good to be true that she’d let me off the hook about it. She had just been waiting for a moment to get me alone.
“Carissa,” I reply with a smile.
Marianna chuckles. “She’s very pretty, and Gianna seemed to like her.”
I nod. “Yes, she is,” I say, referring to Carissa being pretty. “And yes, she did.”
Marianna takes a sip from her cup. After she swallows, she says, “I kept my promise. I haven’t told Max.”
And for it, I’m grateful.
“Thanks, sis. I’m going to be telling him soon… especially since things with her have been going so well.”
“Oh, have they?” she asks teasingly.
I smirk. “Shut up.”
Marianna looks away and downs the rest of her drink. Then she looks back at me and looks away once more.
“Hey, everything okay?” I ask as she stares into deep space. I can take one guess as to what this is about.
She meets my gaze once more, and now there are tears welling in her eyes.
“Awww, Mari. What’s going on? Talk to me.” I already know what it is, but I don’t want to just put it out there in case she doesn’t really want to tell me.
Marianna shrugs. “It’s Christmas Eve. This is supposed to be the time of year when you’re surrounded by family… you know, the most wonderful time of the year? But it’s not for me.” She shrugs and swallows hard. “Sure, I do my best to hold my head up and act like it doesn’t bother me, but can you tell me where my husband is? Because I wouldn’t be able to. I don’t have the slightest idea.”
I shake my head slowly, in disbelief of what she’s telling me. At the same time, I knew it had something to do with Jordan not being around. “Isn’t he in Cali on business?” I’m praying to God that’s where he is, because if he’s not where he told my sister he was going to be, he’s got a serious death wish. I still don’t understand why people want to test the UFC heavyweight champion.
“Is he? I have no idea. He hasn’t called me in days.” She places her cup on the coffee table in front of her and refills it with the bottle of wine once more.
“Days?” I’m gonna kill this motherfucker.
She chuckles, but she’s not finding this at all funny. I can tell by the murderous expression on her face because, just like me, my sister also has a bit of a temper. Of course, it’s nowhere near the same as mine, but it’s enough. She’s just waiting for the perfect moment. “I lost count of how many.” She throws the drink back and swallows as soon as it hits her throat.
I take a good look at my sister. I don’t know why this piece of shit is treating her this way. She’s been nothing but a great wife to him since before they even got married.
“Mari, what are you going to do?” She should leave his ass. She shouldn’t take any more of his shit. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this to her. The last time he cheated on her was before they got married, and she forgave him. I’d held him up by his collar against the wall, and she begged me not to hurt him.
Because she knew I was two seconds away from rearranging his face.
Asshole.
Anyway, she forgave him, they moved on from it, and they got married. Two years later and he’s at it again. It makes me wonder if he’s been untruthful and unfaithful for longer than we’ve known.
Marianna shrugs and once again downs the rest of her drink. “What can I do?”
“You know exactly what you need to do. He’s not treating you right.”
She stares at me without saying a word, but I know she knows exactly what she needs to do this time.
Minutes later, she takes a deep breath, nodding. “Look, don’t say anything to Mom, Dad, or Max, okay? I haven’t said anything yet. I don’t want them to worry, but I’ll tell them. I just need some time and the holidays to pass.”
I nod in agreement. “I won’t say anything, but hasn’t anyone else asked about him?”
She shrugs. “Of course they have, but like always, I’ve been making excuses for him. I just know he’s cheating on me again.” Marianna looks away just as Max walks in.
Guess it’s time to change the direction of the conversation.
My eyes dart toward him. “Hey, man.” I wave two fingers in the air.
“Yo, I’m stuffed,” Max announces, taking a seat on one of the couches.
“You finally finished shoving pie down your throat?” I ask. Max is known for eating a few pieces of pie every year on Christmas Eve. It’s like his own personal holiday tradition.
“Hey, Mom makes the best pies around. You can’t say no when she brings them out,” he says.
“That’s true.” My mother does make the best apple, blueberry, chocolate mousse, and key lime pies in the world.
“She fell asleep?” he asks, pointing at Gianna.
I nod, picking her up and rising to my feet. “I’m about to put her to bed.”
Marianna finally looks toward us, her eyes obviously red. “I think I’m going to bed too. Night, fellas.” She gets to her feet and darts out of the room before either of us have a chance to answer.
“Damn, I can’t take it anymore,” Max says.
I adjust Gianna in my arms. “Can’t take what anymore?”
He scoffs. “She hasn’t said anything to me, but I’m not blind. I know what’s going on, and I personally have an ill taste for Jordan. He’s messing with the wrong family.”
Of course he knows. My sister tries her hardest to not worry the family, but being that we are so closely knit, there’s no way any of us wouldn’t notice when something like this is going on. I’m pr
etty sure my parents know too.
“Man, she promised me not to say anything, but I had a horrible feeling about it.”
He shrugs. “I just want to know why she hasn’t told me, like does she think I’m not trustworthy enough or what?”
I chuckle. “No one tells you anything because you’re quick to snap… a family trait, I guess. But when you snap, it’s always trouble. Plus, you’re quick to tell Mom and Dad everything.”
“Man, that was so long ago! And not for nothing, but you’re the one with the temper, Mr. UFC Heavyweight Champion.” He laughs.
I laugh along with him. “Well, bro. I have something to tell you too, but it’s going to have to wait. I’ve got to get this little one into bed. Have a good night.” I walk toward the door with Gianna in my arms.
“Wait! What’s up? Tell me now,” he says.
I spin around to face him with a smirk. “I’ll tell you soon. Night-night, li’l bro.”
He grimaces playfully. “Night, Enz.” Moments later, he calls out to me again. “Hey, Enz?”
“Yeah?”
He shrugs. “Guess I’m playing Santa Max again,” he says, pointing at the milk and cookies set on the coffee table. The colorful, sparkling lights of the Christmas tree reflect off the glass.
I chuckle. “Yup. Make sure you finish them all and place the gifts under the tree and in the stockings. She’ll be up by five tomorrow morning, so get to it.”
Max rubs his belly. “I’m so going to get a stomachache.”
“Better you than me, li’l bro,” I say jokingly.
“Hey, Enz?”
“Yeah?”
He puts up his middle finger. “Merry Christmas.”
I laugh. “Merry Christmas, fucker.”
I snap my eyes open to the sunlight coming in through the small cracks in the blinds. The New York Yankees posters and decals still line the walls. I find it hilarious how my mom has yet to change my room around, even though I’ve been out of the house for years. She’s got all my old trophies and books sitting on the shelves. My gaming chair is set off to the side in front of the television set from my teenage years. I don’t think I’ve played a video game since I left home.