by Mary Ting
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © Mary Ting 2020
Licensing Notes
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.
Chapter One
The Break up
Cammy
“Don’t talk to me. Don’t you ever talk to me.” I crossed my arms tightly across my chest.
“Cammy.” Lucas lightly smoothed his ash brown hair, slicked back with gel, his chest heaving. “Please. Just listen. Nothing happened.”
“Bull. Shit.” My voice was lethal calm. I braced myself against the wall to keep from dropping to the floor. “I saw you kissing that...” My lips twisted, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth at the disgust of what he had done. “...That girl with my own eyes. Don’t...” I swore I wouldn’t cry, but the threatening tears streamed down with no mercy.
I took a step to the side and bumped into the back of the sofa when he took a step forward. Noting I wouldn’t let him near me, he stopped.
“Listen,” he tried, his jaw working. “She kissed me first. I didn’t kiss her back.”
Lies, lies, lies. I glared at him, not bothering to wipe my tears. “The hell you didn’t. I counted to five before you pulled away. I saw the way she flirted with you. I saw the way you flirted back.” I glanced at the mug on the dining table a few feet to the left of me, debating whether to hurl it at him.
He didn’t say anything, but his eyes showed a flicker of guilt.
“We’re done.” I yanked my keys and purse from the dining table, and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.
Quiet. It was so quiet in the hallway as I sprinted toward the elevator, unlike the screams of rage inside my head.
Icy fingers of agony gripped my heart. I never knew an emotion could physically hurt so much. I wanted to rip it out of my chest to make the pain go away. No, I should have ripped out Lucas’s heart. I wasn’t the violent type, but the thought did occur.
Lucas and I had started dating when we were juniors at New York University. We met in English class. It was almost love at first sight. We couldn’t get enough of each other, but for the past few months, we’d been drifting apart, bickering over little things.
Was that some kind of sign from the universe that we shouldn’t be together? Too late. Lucas had broken us apart. As I stared at the damned slow elevator, I realized I had made a mistake, a very huge, stupid one.
Turning in my new wedge sandals, I sprinted back, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I didn’t want him to see me crying again. Taking the key out of my back pocket, I opened the door and entered.
Lucas stood exactly at the same spot, looking just as pathetic with his shoulders slumped. His green eyes I had once found heavenly pleaded with me and... were those tears? Oh, no. He was not going to make me feel sorry for him. I was the one in pain, not him. He was the idiot who cheated on me.
“Cammy,” he said softly.
“Get out.” I pointed to the open door. Too caught up in rage, I had stormed out of my own apartment.
“You need to give her some time and space, asshole.”
I whirled toward the voice to see my roommate taking a sip of water at the dining table, facing her opened laptop, a textbook beside it. Her bedroom door had been closed, so I didn’t know she was home. She must have come out when I took off.
“We need to talk this over. Please, Cammy. Nothing happened.”
I shook my head and raised both of my hands as if that could prevent him from talking. “I can’t do this right now. I need to cool down.”
Knowing he wouldn’t leave, I went to my bedroom. Leah would kick him out. The front door slammed, confirming Lucas had left. I didn’t bother to close my door, knowing Leah would come right in.
“What happened?” Leah plopped on the bed beside me, her golden blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders. She wore low-rise jeans and a pink and white plaid shirt over a white, midriff-baring top.
I grabbed a tissue from my bedside table and blew junk out of my nose as tears continued to fall. After I managed to calm my breathing, I hugged my throw pillow like a teddy bear.
“I went to that stupid party for Lucas’s fraternity. I was about an hour late because of my night class. He knew I was going to be late. I decided to leave class early and found him kissing that redhead. I was too shocked to move, so I stood there like an idiot and watched their make out session. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The second Lucas saw me, I ran.”
Leah’s mouth dropped and her hazel eyes grew bigger. “You mean the same redhead you told me about last week? The one who couldn’t keep her paws off Lucas?”
I heaved a breath. “Yes.”
“Oh, Cammy. I’m so sorry, redhead or no.” She wrapped her arms around me.
I leaned into her shoulder and closed my eyes, hoping the tears would stop, but my heart... the dagger kept digging deeper as the reality of our relationship hit me, really hit me. Lucas and I—we were over.
Sure, we could talk about what happened. But why? I would never be able to erase the image of them kissing from my mind. How could I ever trust him again? The thought of him locking lips with hers and touching me after he made out with her gave me a horrid taste in my mouth. I didn’t even want him in the same room as me.
“What are you going to do?” Leah continued, her voice gentle.
“Over time I might be able to forgive him, but I will never be able to forget.” A soft cry seeped out of me. “I can’t believe he kissed her back. I can’t believe he cheated on me.” I sucked in air and bawled into my palms.
Leah caressed my arm. “Well, it’s his loss. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but he’s not the one for you. It’s better to know now than later. My sister’s best friend got dumped on her wedding night. She fell into depression, and she was a mess for a couple months. Later, she found the love of her life. I promise, someone who was meant for you will come along. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. You just wait and see.”
I believed in fate, but it was extremely difficult in my state of mind. “I know,” was all I could say.
“Let’s have girls’ night out as soon as we can all get together. Midterms are coming up, so not sure when, but I’ll call Tiffany, Julie, Vanessa, and Valerie. Okay?”
I nodded because I had nothing to say. I didn’t know if I could even make the effort to get out of the house except for going to my classes.
Chapter Two
Guilt
Lucas
There were no words I could say to make it right. Guilt slammed into me again as I tried to cover the truth of what I had done. Caroline really had kissed me, but I didn’t stop her. I freakin’ didn’t stop her, and I couldn’t understand why. Cammy and I had been going out for a year, and I really loved her. What the hell is wrong with me?
I could have blamed it on the alcohol, but I wasn’t anywhere near being buzzed. Caroline had been flirty, but she never aggressively came on to me. Cammy had warned me about Caroline more than once. She said it bothered her that Caroline and I were friends but Caroline had never tried to be friends with her. Though Cammy did attempt to make an effort to get to know Caroline. That didn’t go so well.
Caroline was not only a pledge from our sister sorority but my little sis as well. So in a way, I felt obligated to do things with her and get to know her better. I’d thought Cammy was jealous without a real reason, but after what had happened, I couldn’t
say she was making things up.
“All better between you and Cammy?” Paul asked when I walked into my apartment and slammed the front door shut. He was getting a drink out of the fridge.
I stood there gripping my hair and heaving deep breaths.
“Ouch. That good, huh?”
“You left the party early?” I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and plopped on the sofa.
Paul sat next to me. “I’m too old to stay late. Besides, we’ll both be graduating soon, and I should spend my time doing something productive.”
I popped the can open and took a sip. “You’re going to Harvard Graduate School. I think you can waste a little time partying.”
He shrugged and took a gulp before he spoke. “So what happened? She refused to hear your side of the story?”
I took another sip, wishing I could start the night over. “She said she saw us flirting and that I kissed Caroline back,” I muttered. I felt guilty for hurting Cammy. “She didn’t want to talk to me. She wants time, and I don’t blame her.”
“What did you say after that?”
“I...” I shook my head. “I don’t remember. I just left. Even if I got down on my knees and begged, she would have kicked me out. In fact, I don’t remember much about the rest of the night, either. It all happened so fast, even the kiss with Caroline, which didn’t freakin’ mean anything. I think I was too surprised to push her away.” I ran my hand down my face and blew out a long breath. “Cammy hates me. She’s never going to forgive me. This is my fault. I should have stopped Caroline. I guess I was too friendly with her and she got the wrong message. Plus she drank too much. I told her friend to keep an eye out for her before I took off to find Cammy.”
Paul stretched his legs and crossed his ankles on the table. “If you want to get Cammy back, I suggest you do it quickly. I know she told you she wants time, but that will only pull you two apart even more. Just talking from experience.”
I angled my eyebrows. Paul had been my roommate for almost two years, since we moved out of the dorm at the end of our freshman year. We rushed fraternity together at the beginning of our junior year and had been friends ever since then. I met Cammy then. She wasn’t interested in joining a sorority, but she was at one of the open parties supporting her friend Vanessa.
I’d seen Paul regularly with one girl freshman year. They must have broken up. He dated a few here and there after that, but nothing serious. And we’d never talked about his relationship since it happened before I met him.
“You’re talking from experience, huh? What happened?” I thought hearing his story would give me hope that I could fix what I had broken.
He released a long sigh and took a moment before he spoke. “To make a long story short, I would have given her a second chance had she asked for it. I loved her that much, or at least I thought I was in love.” He shifted to face me, his beer can dented on the side from pressing hard. “If you truly love her, then fight for her. Beg her for a second chance. Do everything you can, even if it means to tell your little sis to stay the freakin’ hell away from you. Cammy is never going to trust Caroline ever again. If you want Cammy back, you’ve just lost your little sis. But if you don’t love her, or if you’re not sure, then this would be a good time to break things off.”
I considered his advice.
“You’re going off to graduate school this summer to get your MBA in Los Angeles. How about Cammy? She’s staying here in New York, right?” He didn’t give me time to answer and continued, “Have you two talked about the long-distance relationship? It’s time to grow up, my friend.” He patted my back and stood up. “It’s late. Get some sleep.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I said.
There was no doubt in my mind I loved Cammy and I would do anything for her, even if it meant I would have to cut my friendship with Caroline, but Paul was right. Cammy and I had to have that talk soon, if she gave me a second chance. We’d both received our acceptance letters recently and we both put off talking about it.
I had always planned to move back home, but what about Cammy? Knowing there was no way in hell I could fall asleep, I called a few of the pledges to give them a task. Cammy didn’t want to see me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do anything about it indirectly.
I needed my girl to forgive me, and I had to find a way to get her back.
Chapter Three
Not Enough
Cammy
The next morning, I dragged myself out of bed. My body ached as if I had trained for a marathon, and my heart... I wasn’t sure I had one anymore. I felt nothing. Somehow, I felt disoriented from reality and time. But I had responsibilities, the only reason I forced myself out of bed.
There was no way in hell I was going to let Lucas see me with puffy eyes, if he even dared to show up at my apartment again. I’d shoved two spoons in the freezer last night, so I wrapped them in paper towels and placed them over my eyes this morning. Those darn things were so cold, I couldn’t leave them on for long.
I allowed five minutes before I dashed out the door, my hair tied back into a ponytail with a scrunchie and no makeup on. The frozen spoons had alleviated the puffiness somewhat but not entirely. It would have to do.
I had been late to my job several times, no thanks to Lucas who had slept over often, and I couldn’t afford to be late again. I quickly shut out the thought of Lucas and sprinted across the street to the food court where I’d worked for the last year.
“Hey, Gus.” I waved and rushed to the cash register. Not only did I not want to be there, I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
“You’re late.” He frowned, adjusting the stainless-steel containers lined up.
I gave him a small, innocent smile, not really giving a shit what he thought. He had replaced Stacey, the other manager whom I adored. Even though it had been a month, I still missed her. A Backstreet Boys song was playing, and I lost myself in the music.
“Uh, what?” I mouthed the words to the song.
“You’re late,” he repeated, with a sting in his voice.
“Sorry. I’m only late five minutes and we just opened. Besides, nobody comes to the burrito station for breakfast.” I gestured toward the bakery shop across from us. They sold muffins and coffee and all kinds of yummy stuff. As if on cue, as if God played a trick on me, a couple lined up to order.
Gus smirked, but his eyes fell down to my bare legs and my gray penny loafers. Pervert. Or maybe he liked my shoes. I usually didn’t wear shorts to work, but what the hell. It wasn’t like I was working in a professional office.
As lunchtime approached, the line became longer. Tracy, who worked only for three hours every day for lunch, finally arrived. She too was five minutes late. I narrowed my eyes at Gus, who simply rolled his eyes as if to say, yes, I know she’s late and don’t you dare say anything to me.
“Hey, Cammy.” Tracy smiled and went to help Gus. She sported Calvin Klein jeans and jelly platform shoes. A black plastic choker necklace hugged her neck. Not one I would wear, but it looked cute on her.
I smiled in reply with a wave of my hand. We worked fast and diligently, moving the line, but even then the time seemed to creep by. My body weighed a ton. Every step was a struggle, and every word was an effort.
I ducked lower from embarrassment when I spotted a few of Lucas’s fraternity pledges. They had been at the party and no doubt saw what had happened. Ugh! I wish I could disappear, better yet, make them disappear.
Crap! They filed in line.
“Six forty-eight,” I said to the girl in front of me, holding a tray of Gus’s special burrito and a soft drink.
She dug into her wallet and pulled out a five and a dollar. “Shoot. This is all I have. Can you just skip the drink?”
“Let me see...” I reached inside my front pocket, recalling I had shoved some change in the last time I wore those shorts. “Ah.” I pulled out two quarters. “I’ve got you covered.”
She lifted a corner of her mouth. “You’re so sweet. Tha
nk you for covering for me. I promise to pay you back.”
“Whatever. It’s small change.” I moved on to the next person after giving her a smile.
Then...
The scent of warm spices and rich, dark wood filled my nostrils. Beautiful, crystal-blue eyes met mine under a mop of brown hair turned molten gold under the sunlight pouring from the glass ceiling. I tried not to stare, but for a brief moment, he made me forget about Lucas.
I dropped my eyes to his plate, feeling guilty. But then I thought better and reminded myself I was allowed to admire a good-looking guy. My hands were to myself and... Lucas cheated on me.
“You got a burrito, a taco, and a drink.” I tapped on the register. “That’ll be eight.”
He handed me a twenty, and gorgeous dimples pierced his cheeks. “Cammy.”
I blinked, taking a few seconds to register. I had never seen him before, or maybe I’d never paid attention to other guys ever since Lucas and I had been a couple.
“How do you know my name?” I asked, handing him back his change. His hand felt warm when I accidentally brushed it.
When he let out a soft chuckle, his broad and thick chest bobbed a bit. What was so funny?
He cleared his throat and pointed at my name tag.
I flushed with warmth and let out a snort. “Oh. That. Of course.” Stupid me.
“Anyway, you’re in my economics class. A group of us are studying for the midterm tomorrow night. Would you like to join us?”
He noticed me in that lecture room? Impressive.
“I don’t know.” I chewed the inside of my mouth.
For the past year, I’d avoided group study, especially when getting an invite from a guy. We had fought about it one time. Lucas told me the guy had only asked me so he could move in on me. Since it bothered him so much, I declined all the group studies. Now that the leash was severed...
“Please join us if you can.” He lowered his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes.
Oh. My. God. I would have said yes to anything he asked with that pout, but I restrained myself.