by Calia Read
Rapidly, I nod and wait for her answer.
She shakes her head. “Sugar, I truly don’t know.”
I don’t know whether I feel relief or disappointment. He once offered to give me a loan so I wouldn’t have to go through with the bachelor plan. But I knew the offer was based upon his friendship with Miles. My pride had a life of its own and dictated that I decline the offer.
“All I know is that the debts were paid in full, and it was done anonymously.”
I was inclined to believe it was Livingston. Very few people knew of our financial situation, but I couldn’t prove it.
I needed more time to think this through. More time to talk this out. I need more time.
There’s another knock on a door. Serene peeks her head inside. “Rainey? It’s time.”
The ballroom at Belgrave is breathtaking.
The heavy curtains are pulled back from the windows. The French doors are open, allowing in fresh air. The marble floor is spotless, allowing light from the chandeliers to reflect in every direction. A quartet is set up in the far corner of the ballroom. The sound of their instruments fills me with peace, and I’m tempted to close my eyes.
It’s a black-tie affair, and everyone is dressed in their best attire. I admire the guests before I step into the room. Once I do, I know I’m going to be enclosed by the bachelors and the guests.
“Ready to go in?” Serene asks quietly.
I turn to her, and see her regarding me with concern. I smile at her. “Yes. Of course.” For good measure, I step forward, knowing that after this, I can’t go back.
At once, Conrad is in front of me as though he’s been waiting for me the entire time. “Rainey, there you are. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Shall we dance?”
“Of course.” I accept his hand and allow him to escort me into the throng of dancers.
For the next hour, I dance until my heels ache, and even then, I continue to dance. I feel dizzy from all the spinning, my throat is raw from speaking, and my left palm is sweaty from being held in so many hands.
While I’m dancing with Duncan, I spot Taylor Hiscock’s sister. I could picture Livingston leaning into me. “Made a wise choice there. No one wants the name Hiscock.”
I can’t help but smile. My heart aches at the thought of Livingston. I’ve continuously searched for him, and he’s nowhere to be found. It’s foolish to expect him to come.
The dance comes to a close, and when we stop moving, my feet sigh in relief. Duncan walks me to the edge of the ballroom, and when another male guest asks me to dance, I politely refuse. I need a small break.
I stand by myself and bask in the silence. It’s a brief reprieve from all the activity around me.
And then, out of the corner of my eye, I spot Livingston. My heart stutters and stops at the sight of him. Like most of the men here, he’s wearing a tuxedo. His is tailored to his body. His dinner suit nearly matches the color of his hair. He recently shaved, and his sharp planes and angles of his gorgeous face are on display.
My God, I’ve missed him so much.
His eyes prowl through the crowd as though he’s in search of something. His gaze drifts past me, and then immediately veers back to me. His eyes widen a fraction before he starts to walk through the crowd.
My breathing becomes shallow. What is he going to say? What am I going to say? I gave up hope that he would come, but now that he’s here, my tongue suddenly feels far too big for my mouth.
I link my hands together and try to take deep breaths as I see he’s quickly approaching. He breaks from the crowd and stands directly in front of me, the very picture of perfection. His eyes sweep me from head to toe. “Hello, Rainey.”
The deep timbre of his voice causes goose bumps to break out across my skin. I dip my head. “Livingston.”
He leans forward, from the waist up, and says with his eyes on mine, “Would you care to dance?”
I could go the rest of my life without another dance. I don’t tell Livingston that, though. “Sounds lovely.”
When he holds my hand in his, it’s akin to a jolt of electricity going through my body. I remain impassive and allow Livingston to escort us. In the crowd, Serene and Étienne stand by my Momma and watch us.
“Did you get the chance to dance with each bachelor?”
“Yes, I did. It was lovely,” I say politely.
Can he feel how badly I’m shaking?
Livingston nods and doesn’t make one of his signature retorts. For all his womanizing ways, Livingston is a practiced dancer. We glide across the marble floor so effortlessly my feet barely touch the floor.
With his eyes fixed on something behind me, he indifferently asks, “Do you know which bachelor you’ll pick as your husband?”
“Stop,” I plead.
Livingston innocently blinks and looks at me. “Stop what?”
“You know what,” I whisper.
“I’m strikin’ a friendly conversation.”
“But we haven’t spoken to one another since Savannah.”
Livingston somberly looks me in the eye. “If I reached out to you, would you have listened?”
I keep my gaze fixed on his Adam’s apple as I think of my reply. I lost count the number of times I wanted to speak with him and know how he was.
“That’s what I figured,” he said sadly.
He didn’t realize how hard it was to stay away from him and how difficult it is to express how much I missed him.
Only a small moment of silence passes between us before Livingston speaks. “How are you?” he asks.
I lift my gaze and find him staring at me. “I’m fine.” Carefully, I look him over. I notice the bags under his eyes. However, there’s a clarity in his hazel eyes. I’m desperate to know what’s led to that clearness. Is there someone new in his life?
“How are you?” I ask, my voice uncharacteristically squeaky.
He looks at me with a tinge of sadness. “I’ve been all right.”
I don’t want to hear all right. I want to hear every aspect of his life, starting from the moment his feet stepped onto the train platform in Charleston and went on his way. I told him to never speak to me again, but I didn’t mean it. Can’t he see that?
I didn’t mean it.
We follow the couples dancing across the ballroom floor. To spectators, we look as though we’re having a polite conversation. They don’t see that my heart is being torn to shreds.
“I’ve begun workin’ with Étienne,” he blurts.
My eyes widen with shock. I wasn’t expecting to hear that. “When?”
“Days ago. I’ll be workin’ with his clients and attemptin’ to find new leads for his company.”
I smile at him. Even though Livingston tries to remain nonchalant about his new role at EAL Corporation, it’s evident he’s excited about it. This is good news. This is what he needs. “That’s wonderful,” I say.
“And recently, I sold my shares of AT&T.”
At once, my mind starts to race. He sold his shares. I don’t know the value, but I know they have to be worth a great deal. Here it is. Here’s the intro for him to tell me he paid off my family’s debts.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to stay at the Lacroix house. I need to create a fresh start.”
My heart nearly sinks to my stomach over his words. I swallow before I speak. “In Charleston, right?”
“Of course,” he says softly. “The land across from the Belgrave plantation?”
I nod uncertainly and wait for him to continue. “It was once part of Lacroix-Livingston land, but my father sold it. For several years, the fields were planted and tended to, but crops became bad, and they went neglected. Soon, I plan to have it tilled.”
I knew the land he was describing. Every time I arrived or left Belgrave, I saw the wide expanse of acreage. Overgrown weeds sprouted from the ditch. Grass would make feeble attempts to grow in the untended soil but always failed.
And during the fall and winter, you could see the lines from past years where seeds have been planted.
Next to Belgrave that was always well-maintained, the land was nothing but a blight. But this is another step toward a future. A future I hope he could see he deserved. “I’m happy for you, Livingston.”
I meant that. No matter how I felt about Livingston, that’s all I wanted. For him to stop being tortured by the past and have peace. He deserved that more than anyone.
There’s a second where the two of us are quiet, gliding across the ballroom floor. I try to keep the news Momma broke to me upstairs, but I just can’t. “Someone paid off the debts. All one hundred and fifteen thousand dollars.”
Carefully, I watch Livingston for any tell that might give him away. His brows furrow as though this is news to him. “Truly?”
“Yes. Momma just told me.”
His eyes widen, and his mouth opens and closes several times before he says, “That’s great.”
Reluctantly, I nod. “It is.”
He wasn’t giving the impression he knew anything about the debts being paid, which confuses me even more. I was so certain he did it.
We turn, following the sound of the music. “And now you can do as you will.”
My eyes widen. Throughout this entire process, Livingston has put up a fight. I don’t know what to say.
“No, I can’t.”
He looks down at me, his hazel eyes searching. “Why not?” he quietly demands.
I stare back at him, imploringly. “Because I have to make a decision.”
I miss him more than I ever anticipated. But the lust was temporary. I still wanted love. I still wanted a future and a family.
The hand on my waist tightens as though he can sense the direction of my thoughts.
“Livingston, please be honest with me. Did you do this?”
Slowly, he shakes his head. “I didn’t.”
“But—”
“Rainey,” he cuts in, his voice quiet. “I didn’t pay the debts.”
If he didn’t pay the debts, then who did? There’s no time to wonder about that. The song begins to draw to a close. While other dancers begin to smile at their partners, and slow their steps. Livingston and I draw closer. His grip on me is so tight there is no way I can break free. He leans in until his cheek is pressed against my temple. He can’t leave. There’s so much I need to say to him.
“I’ve missed you,” I whisper for only him to hear.
“I’m so sorry for hurting you,” he says against my ear. “I love you, Raina. I’ve loved you for years. Admired you for your quick aim as a girl with your bow and arrow. Applauded your strength when your daddy died. Recognized your beauty when I came home from France. I loved you all along. I’ve loved you when I didn’t know anything else. If you pick a bachelor today, that’s fine. I can love you from afar again.”
He finishes, and I don’t breathe. I only repeat his words over and over in my head. I didn’t imagine them. In the middle of the ballroom, I briefly rest of my forehead against his chest. I close my eyes and breathe deep.
“Rainey?” Serene says from beside me.
My eyes flash open. I lift my head from his chest. With wide eyes, I stare at him, breaking the hold Livingston has over me.
Before I can say anything, she grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. I feel a sense of panic and stop myself from reaching out to him. Will this be my last time alone with him?
Serene and I weave our way through the heavy crowd, forcing me to face forward. We stop beside the double doors where Étienne stands.
“You look lovely, Rainey,” he says in way of greeting.
“Thank you,” I say hurriedly.
I look around Étienne, in the direction where I left Livingston, but he’s gone. Did he leave? He can’t leave.
“There’s an impressive number of people here,” he mentions casually.
“Mmmhmm,” I reply. Where did Livingston go?
“I saw my brother dance with you.”
At that, I stop searching and stare at the hulking man beside me. Everyone in Charleston is afraid of Étienne. From his no-nonsense approach to business, to the fierce scowl on his face. He isn’t as imposing and fierce as everyone thinks. Growing up, I watched how he protected Nat and, at times, even me. And when he married Serene, you could tell there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
“Yes, it was kind of him,” I say cordially.
“Nothin’ kind about it. He loves you,” he blurts. “And you love him. And you’ve loved one another for years. That’s irrelevant right now. What you need to ask yourself is, if time took him away from you, what would you do?”
“Time?”
He nods, his eyes sharp and focused as he waits for my answer. It’s a weird question. One that I’ve never considered because it’s impossible. But for the sake of answering, I imagine Livingston being here and gone the next. It would kill me. It would be as painful as losing Miles. But if time took him, and I knew he was out there somewhere, I’d wait for him because there will never be another Livingston Lacroix.
Étienne nods and smiles. “Yes, he’d wait for you, too.”
For several seconds, I stare at Étienne. That’s the most I’ve ever heard him talk.
Serene walks back to us, lightly clapping her hands. “Are you ready?”
There’s no more delaying. Time to decide. “Yes. I’m ready.”
Before she has a chance to get everyone’s attention, I grab her arm and pull her back to me. Urgently, I whisper my decision into her ear.
Serene nods her head in understanding, and when I’m done, she squeezes my arm. “Very well.”
I can feel Étienne’s sharp eyes on me.
Serene nudges Étienne, so he looks around and loudly clears his throat. Immediately, people begin to quiet down. There are shushes and whispers and silence across the ballroom as all eyes turn in our direction.
My heart is beating so fast I think I may faint. My God, please let this end.
Serene smiles at all the guests. “When my lovely friend Miss Rainey Pleasonton expressed interest in finding a suitable husband I was more than happy to help her find the perfect husband. But we had a dilemma because she deserved the very best. However, I think we can all agree that it’s going to take a strong Southern man to stand next to Miss Pleasonton.”
A small ripple of laughter moves across the room. I smile at everyone, and then I spot him in the corner watching.
Livingston.
He didn’t leave after all. With his arms crossed, he watches me with something close to sadness.
Serene looks at me from the corner of her eye before she says, “I’m beyond thrilled to announce that after all the men she spoke and courted with, Miss Pleasonton has chosen Livingston Lacroix.”
There’s a pregnant pause in the room. Everyone in the room looks around.
I hear a guest say, “He was one of the bachelors?” I notice Conrad and Duncan throw up their hands in frustration.
Murmurs grow louder as people talk amongst themselves and search for the man of the hour.
Finally, everybody spots Livingston, and in unison, they part so there’s a small path for him. I take a deep breath and stop myself from walking to him.
Livingston pushes away from the wall. His arms are at his side. I could have hit him with another arrow and stunned him less.
Between Étienne and Serene, I wait to see what his response will be. Livingston can say no. I’m making a bold declaration by choosing someone who was never in the running.
Slowly, he begins to walk toward me. His eyes never leave mine the entire time. I ignore the voices around us and my own fear for what his answer will be.
When he reaches me, he doesn’t wait for me to explain myself. He doesn’t wait for anything. He frames my face between his large hands, and in front of everyone, he kisses me soundly on the lips.
I hear the gasp, and then claps echo in the room.
I don’t care
. I don’t care about anything except for this.
Livingston loves me.
I place my hands over his to keep him in place.
Livingston loves me.
He pulls away. “You are forever my queen. The only woman I need. I love you, le savauge.”
I nod, afraid to even speak. “I love you too.”
“I’m still stubborn, and I’ll drive you mad.”
At that, Étienne snorts.
“I know that. I’ll continue to drive you mad.”
“God, I hope so.”
He kisses me for a second time. And while Serene tells Étienne she knew the whole time we would be together, we kiss. While Étienne talks about how quickly the guests can begin to leave his home, we kiss.
And when the guests consider whether Livingston was a bachelor the entire time, we kiss.
Throughout the years, we have found ourselves at war with one another, but with love, we found peace.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Rainey
“That’s it. I’m finished.”
I barely spare Livingston a glance. “You’ve said that several times. Keep goin’.”
My fiancé spreads his fingers and then loosely shakes his hand before he reluctantly picks up his pen and continues to write out an address on a cream-colored envelope.
Fiancé.
I have a fiancé. It’s been almost two months since the bachelor ball. I keep expecting all this to be a dream. That I’ll wake up at any moment with Livingston ripped from me, and the two of us bickering at one another. He hasn’t left my side once, but we bicker frequently. And I prefer it that way. If it was any different, I’d be concerned.
“The invitations need to be mailed by tomorrow mornin’. We’ve postponed this for as long as possible.”
Livingston grunts. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”
“No, we wouldn’t because we have to answer to not only Serene but also Momma.”
Livingston’s eyes marginally widen before he hastily finishes writing the address and then moves to the next name on the guest list. If I knew those two ladies would’ve been the best motivation, I would’ve started with that at the beginning.