Anyone but You

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “Can we get a half-and-half?” If I was being honest, I could pack away almost an entire pizza by myself, but I didn’t want to be too greedy since she was paying.

  “How about we just get two pizzas? They have a special. We can get wings and drinks too. Do you eat wings?” Hell yes I ate wings, but I also appreciated that she asked.

  “Sounds great.” Now I wouldn’t have to worry, and I’d get my own pizza. I texted Zee and said I was set for dinner and they texted me back asking for details and I said I’d fill them in when I got back. I wouldn’t think about that right now. I wasn’t going to think about anything but food, and maybe Tuesday’s arms.

  Tuesday put in her order and then handed me the phone to pick. I selected the spinach and artichoke pizza with feta and olives. I was feeling Greek tonight. Tuesday had added honey barbecue wings, which was perfect for me. I selected a drink and added it to the order.

  “Thanks for this,” I said, handing the phone back so she could put in the order. Once she did, I wasn’t sure what to do next.

  “You want to watch something?” She went over and grabbed a remote and walked over to where there was a TV bolted into the wall that I hadn’t seen before.

  “Uh, sure,” I said. Tuesday pulled down two of the wooden boxes and set them up.

  “Sorry I don’t have anything fancier. I have some towels if you want something softer. I’m getting some benches too, but they haven’t come in.” The place was really coming together. So many changes in a short period. It looked like a gym now and not an empty prison-like space. Still not my aesthetic, but I was sure the kinds of people who liked CrossFit would enjoy the space.

  Tuesday found a remote in the metal desk and brought it over before getting some fresh towels from a converted bookcase right next to it. She handed me a few and I spread them out on the box to make it a little more comfortable.

  Tuesday flipped on the television and started scrolling through the options on a popular streaming service. This was yet another time when I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about her but that she was my landlord, she liked CrossFit, she had two turtles, and she enjoyed pissing me off. As far as what she liked to watch, I had no clue.

  “Have you seen this one?” she asked, bringing up a documentary about a grisly murder.

  “Uh, no? Is that what you want to watch?” I wasn’t a fan of anything about crimes. It just freaked me the hell out that something would happen to me. I didn’t know how people could watch that stuff. Zee loved it, but I always hid when they had that stuff on.

  “Just checking,” she said, and then went to a classic show that I wasn’t a fan of.

  “How about this?” she asked, and I shook my head. It took five more tries before she landed on something I would consider watching. Guess we didn’t have much in common in the show-watching department either.

  I agreed to watch a documentary about the early days of strength training. I loved me a good documentary, as long as it wasn’t about murders or kidnapping or people committing mass suicide. No thank you. Give me documentaries about the brain, or food, or capitalism and I was all over it.

  Tuesday was quiet and sat on her own box, in spite of there being enough space for both of us to fit on mine. I tried not to read too much into that.

  My stomach made a sound loud enough for us both to hear it.

  “Do you need something now? I have some protein bars,” she said, pulling out a box from behind the desk. “I have peanut butter, chocolate, and vanilla.” She held them each up. They looked like the kind of protein bars that tasted like pure sawdust, but I was desperate. I could go upstairs and grab something, but these were right here.

  “Peanut butter,” I said, holding my hand out. She tossed it to me and I caught it. I read the ingredients first, and it seemed okay. I tore the wrapper off and took a bite. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, which was nice.

  “Water?” Tuesday asked, and then tossed me a fresh bottle.

  We settled in and I pretended I was watching the documentary, but I was watching Tuesday. I didn’t think she could tell, but then she said, “if you’d rather stare at me than the TV, I can turn it off.” My face flamed red and I looked at the screen.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, even though that was admitting that I’d been looking at her.

  “It’s okay, you can admire me.” If there was one thing she didn’t lack, it was self-confidence. Somehow, that put her attractiveness level through the roof. It had already been hovering around the ceiling anyway.

  I sighed and she gave me a fraction of that smirk that I’d seen last night. I wanted to slide off the box and onto the floor.

  The pizza arrived a short while later and I attacked my box as soon as Tuesday put it next to me on the box.

  “Do you want wings?” she asked, as I shoved one third of the first piece in my mouth.

  “Yes please,” I said around the mouthful. She must have understood because she tossed a few wings in the pizza box.

  “I thought that I was going to eat you under the table, but I may have underestimated you.” I finished my first slice and without even pausing, I went for the second. I was going to have to pace myself so I didn’t eat this entire thing plus wings. That path only led to regrets.

  I didn’t have time to talk to her until I had finished my fourth slice.

  “That’s better,” I said, patting my stomach and then going for the wings.

  “I thought you were going to be vegan or something,” Tuesday said.

  “Nope. I’ve done periods of being vegan, but I feel like it’s not a good diet for me to get everything I need, so I didn’t follow it for long. I’m guessing you’re not vegan either?” There were at least four kinds of meat on Tuesday’s pizza. Maybe more than that.

  “Not for me,” she said, sucking sauce from the wings off her fingers. The action made certain areas of my body heat and tighten and tingle. I wasn’t going to think about Tuesday licking things other than her fingers. That would be a very, very bad idea. Those thoughts were best not thought, or saved for nighttime when I was in bed alone.

  I ate all my wings and then went for two more pieces of pizza before I decided to stop. That was one more piece than Tuesday and I grinned at her.

  “Ha, I win.”

  “You have sauce on your chin,” she said, motioning. I wiped my chin with my napkin and it came away covered in sauce. Guess I’d made a mess of myself. “And it’s on your shirt.”

  “So it is,” I said, looking down. I was usually a mess when I ate, and I’d been an extra mess because I was so hungry. I hadn’t cared even a little bit what I’d looked like. Probably should have.

  Tuesday tossed the boxes and came back to sit on the box. What now?

  “I should get home.” We hadn’t really talked, and the evening felt unfinished.

  “Color me officially impressed with your pizza consumption. I will not underestimate your appetite again.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “I’m pleased to have impressed you.” Tuesday pulled her feet up on the box and sat cross-legged facing me.

  “You’re gonna leave now.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I mean, yes? I need to go home. The kitties need me.”

  “Don’t you have a roommate?”

  “Yes, but I miss them. Don’t you miss Percy and Mary?” The tension in her face lessened at the mention of the turtles.

  “Fine, I get it. Plus, I’m kind of an asshole.” She got off the box and picked it up, carrying it back over to stack it with the others.

  “I don’t know what you want from me,” I said, and she gripped the edge of the box and spoke without turning around.

  “I don’t know either,” she said, her voice low.

  The air in the large room changed so fast that I couldn’t keep up. Tuesday turned around and the look she gave me was so intense, it was a wonder she didn’t singe my clothes.

  “I don’t know what I want from you, Sutton.” The pizza felt like c
ement in my stomach. Flutters broke out on my skin and I didn’t know what to do, except that the next few moments were pivotal. Everything was about to change.

  “You should go,” Tuesday said. “You should really go.”

  “I can’t,” I said, telling the truth. “Whenever I come down here, I can’t seem to make myself leave.” Why was I telling her all this? I didn’t want her to know any of this.

  “It can’t be my sparkling personality,” she said, taking one step toward me. I inhaled slowly.

  “I don’t know what it is.” More truth.

  “What do you want from me?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.” We were both at a loss. Tuesday took another step, and then another. Blood raced through my veins, my heart pumping in double time.

  Tuesday was less than four feet in front of me now. It would be wonderful and terrible if she came closer. I couldn’t decide which was worse.

  My lower lip trembled, as if in anticipation of something. Calm down, lips. You’re not getting kissed. At least, I didn’t think so. Of all the absurd notions, Tuesday kissing me. I still probably had pizza all over my mouth. I wasn’t looking my best, that was for sure. Not my most kissable moment.

  “Do you want me to step closer, Sutton?” I melted at the sound of my name. Now I was full on shaking and I needed to do something. I couldn’t handle the suspense anymore.

  “I don’t know. What will happen if you do?” Wasn’t that the question? Anything could happen. Unicorns could bust through the wall and stampede us to death. The ceiling could collapse. Someone else could walk in. Tuesday could kiss me. It was all up in the air.

  “Mmm, I’m not sure either, and I don’t know if I want to find out. You completely perplex me, Sutton Kay. In every possible way.” Her voice was low and as thick as the tension between us. It had always been there, since that first day, but this time it was palpable. I could taste it.

  “I can’t figure you out,” I said. “I don’t know if I want to.”

  “That’s probably wise. I’m not sure I’m worth figuring out.” A shadow passed behind her eyes, like a cloud. There were deep layers to Tuesday, and I’d have to dive a long way to get to them all, if I even could. And I didn’t know what would happen to me if I tried. I didn’t want to drown.

  “Oh, you definitely are. I’m not sure if I’m the right person to do that, though.”

  My phone vibrated and scared the shit out of both of us. The moment snapped, as if it had been sliced by a knife. I could finally make my feet move and go get my phone. It was Zee asking for an update on when I’d be home. I knew they were just being nosy because they cared, but still. I was frustrated and grateful for the interruption. What might have happened without it?

  “Someone checking up on you?” Tuesday asked as I typed out a response to Zee.

  “Just my roommate. They’re a little protective.” Tuesday crossed her arms.

  “Do they think you need to be protected from me?” Tuesday slipped into using Zee’s pronoun without a hitch. Yet another finger pointing to Tuesday being potentially queer. Plus, there was the sexual tension that was so intense that no one could have mistaken it for anything else. Fed up, I decided some bluntness was in order.

  “Only if you’re trying to seduce me. Are you trying to seduce me, Tuesday?” I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth. Who had I become in her presence? I should just flounce out of the room right now on that note and leave her gaping behind me, astonished by my sexy boldness.

  “Wow, come right out and ask why don’t you? Have I given any indication that that’s what my goal is?” she asked, and I faltered.

  “Am I the kind of person you might seduce?” What a completely ridiculous conversation.

  “Are you asking if I’m attracted to you?”

  “Well, me, but also women in general?”

  Tuesday hid a grin and looked down at the floor.

  “Is that what you’re getting at? Wondering if I fly the rainbow flag?” I’d never heard anyone put it that way.

  “I mean, yes. You don’t have to tell me. It was rude to ask.” Probably, but I still really wanted to know.

  “Do you think I’m attracted to you?” Now I was starting to get pissed off again. She was turning this around on me and I didn’t like it.

  “I asked you first,” I said, which was the most childish response I could come up with.

  Tuesday rolled her eyes.

  “Fine, I’m going home. Thank you for the pizza and wings.” This time she let me leave and, although my stomach was full, I was left unsatisfied.

  Seven

  “Tell. Me. Everything,” Zee said, putting their hands on my shoulders and pushing me down on the couch before sitting next to me, their chin in their hands.

  “Do I have to?” I said, but we both knew the answer to that. Yes, I did.

  So I told Zee mostly everything, leaving out the chaos that had been happening in my body, and my random mental commentary. They didn’t need to know every little detail.

  “So you still don’t know if she’s queer?” I shook my head and Cappy clawed her way up my leg and into my lap. Her little claws were like needles, but she was so cute about it that I just let her do it and grinned through the pain.

  “Nope. But reading between all of the lines, I’m guessing yes. If she wasn’t, I feel like she wouldn’t be teasing me and fucking with me like this, right?” Zee sighed.

  “You won’t know until she tells you.” I’d tried to get her to tell me and it hadn’t worked out and I’d gotten annoyed and left, so I was going to wait before I tried again.

  “Plus, do you want her to be queer and potentially into you?”

  “No,” I said too quickly. Zee smiled at me and picked up Mocha.

  “You’re totally into her. I know you don’t want to be, but you can be into someone without liking them. I do it all the time.” It was true. Zee had a wild period where they were having fling after fling and I would see a different guy every week. I’d gotten a little concerned and asked them about it, but they said that they were just having fun and were using protection, so what was the harm? Once they put it that way, I knew they were right. I’d always been more of a relationship person, even though my relationships hadn’t ever gotten super serious. I’d never given everything to someone I’d been with. I wasn’t sure if I knew how. Doing that seemed too dangerous. Let myself be completely open and vulnerable to getting my tender heart smashed into a million pieces? No thanks. We’d always broken up before things had gotten that far.

  “You look like you’re thinking really hard over there,” Zee said.

  “Just pondering my past failed relationships. As one does.” Zee made a face.

  “You don’t need to be doing that. And you don’t even know if she wants to be with you, so don’t get all worked up about it yet. Figure out if she’s even available, and if she’s into you, and then go from there. Don’t put the sex before the horse.” I snorted.

  “Don’t put the what before the what?” I couldn’t believe they’d just said that.

  “They used to say not to put the cart before the horse, but that’s ridiculous because we don’t use horses anymore, so I changed it to be modern.” They said it as if they’d made complete and total sense.

  “That’s not how sayings work, Zee.” They huffed.

  “Well, that’s how they should work. Language changes all the time, so why can’t I change it?” So that was a good point, but the other saying probably wasn’t going to take off.

  “But you knew what I meant,” they said.

  “I guess?” That sidetracked us into talking about various sayings that didn’t work for modern times, but that people still used. I was glad for the topic change.

  “Don’t think that this means I’m not going to stop asking about Tuesday, because I don’t have a lot of interesting things going on in my life and until I find my next boyfriend, you’re my source of entertainment.” I glared, but it was t
he least I could do for them. If I wrote out a list of all the shit Zee had done for me, it would be a mile long. I couldn’t slack in the friendship department because they were so fucking good at it. The least I could hope for was being half as good.

  I made jazz hands and pretended to dance.

  “Yeah, that’s more like it. Dance, Sutton, dance!” They clapped and I got up and did a little booty shake. That turned into a full-blown dance party, complete with picking up the kittens and trying to get them to dance with their little paws.

  “I don’t think they get what’s going on,” I said to Zee after a little while. We put the kitties down, but then they begged to be picked up again, so we danced a little more gently and they seemed to like that.

  “Great, now they’re going to beg for slow dances every night now.” Zee swayed with Mocha, who had her eyes closed and her head on Zee’s shoulder. It was such a precious moment I wanted to pick up my phone and take a picture, but I didn’t want to put Cappy down, who was pawing at my shirt and begging for head rubs.

  “Needy little beggar,” I said to her. “Every day should end with kitty dance parties.”

  Zee made kissy faces to Mocha who was still asleep.

  The dance party made me think about Tuesday’s turtles with their little hats. I wondered if she took them out of their tank and had dance parties with them. Granted, it would be impossible to tell if the turtles were having a good time. They weren’t exactly known for their expressiveness. Something told me that a person who put hats on their turtles wouldn’t turn down a turtle dance party. Maybe even a turtle rave with a DJ and strobe lights. The thought of that made me burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Zee asked.

  “Nothing,” I said, still giggling to myself. “Nothing at all.”

  I DIDN’T CROSS PATHS with Tuesday for an entire week. Either I missed seeing her, or she was hiding from me. Her car was in the parking lot, but whenever I went past the gym and glanced in, she wasn’t in there. There were no more packages in front of my door, or music that was up too loud. She also didn’t come to yoga.