by CJ Murphy
Ree rolled her eyes. “Falling apart without ya. Not sure how I ran that place before ya was born.”
Laurel’s eyes widened. “Gram, you know that’s not what I mean. I miss everyone.”
Ree laughed. “Everyone misses ya, too. Tilly’s grandkids were all there today. They missed story time with Ms. Laurel.”
Val looked at her, brows drawn together. “Story time?”
Ree spoke up, smiling. “A couple of times a month, Tilly brings the kids in for a treat on her day off. You know, hot dogs and chocolate milk. We give them some small job to do so they can earn some spending money. After that, Laurel reads to them from some book.”
Val looked over at Laurel who grinned sheepishly.
“Wunder reads to them at home and I read to them while they have ice cream. They’re good kids.” Laurel thought about the small faces hanging on her every word. It was just as important to her.
“Val, your room’s waiting on ya when they get done poking and prodding ya. I’ll have a crisp warming in the oven for ya. Laurel, ya quit your worrying about anything back here. Enjoy yourself for once. I’m fixing to teach this kid to play gin. I think she might be better if we were playing Go Fish.” Ree shook her head. “You two get some sleep. Ya look like ya could use it. Love ya both.”
Laurel yawned and touched the screen. “Love you too, Gram.”
Val added, “That goes for me too, Ree. See you soon. Beth, don’t put any money on your game with Ree, she’s a shark.”
“Don’t I know it. You two be careful. Talk to you soon.” Beth ended the call.
Val yawned, and Laurel ran a finger down her cheek. “I think it’s time we go to bed. It’s been a long day.”
Upstairs, Laurel helped Val change into a pair of plaid boxer shorts and a maroon t-shirt bearing the immortal words of John Muir, “The mountains are calling and I must go.”
“Are the mountains the only thing that calls you?” Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to Val’s forehead. She pulled back, intending to go change. She felt Val grab her arm.
“No. You do too. Please don’t go.”
Laurel looked deep into Val’s eyes, threading her hand into the thick blonde hair. She kissed her softly. “Honey, I’m just going to change and get your meds. I promise, you won’t sleep alone again, unless you want to.”
“Not a chance.”
Laurel left to get changed and returned a few minutes later. Val took her pills and Laurel crawled in beside her. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She curled into Val’s side and felt Val’s arm come around her shoulders. Both settled in and she felt Val slowly bring her other arm around Laurel. This worried her. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
“It’s fine. This movement doesn’t hurt.” She squeezed a little tighter. “This is the best medicine. Go to sleep, my green-eyed monster.”
Laurel chuckled. “I wanted to knock her down a notch today.”
“Oh, I was well aware of that. I think she was a bit taken aback with you, too. Shocked the hell out of her that someone was with me. She never even saw me with Tess.” Val stopped and kissed Laurel’s forehead.
“Tess?” This wasn’t a name she could recall Val mentioning before. Her curiosity piqued. She craned her neck to look at Val.
Val stammered, “Someone…someone I dated seriously after my weekend with Cat. Do we have to talk about this right now?”
“I don’t want to know just the part of you that rides into Cool Springs a couple times a year. I’d like to know all of you.” Laurel settled her head on Val’s shoulder. She didn’t want Val to feel pressured, but she wanted to know more.
Val sighed. “I met Tess about six years ago. I was working on a photo shoot for one of Gary Sinise’s charity concerts. She’s one of the organizers. We hit it off and dated for a while. Even tried to move in together. The nightmares kept me from being who I am now. I wasn’t in a good place and eventually we separated. We still run into each other occasionally. I actually saw her during the bike run.”
Laurel stiffened a little in Val’s arms. Hearing about someone else who’d meant something special to Val was painful.
“She and her girlfriend Kelly moved in together. Kelly’s a captain with the Arlington Fire Department. I’ve met her, and she’s terrific, thinks there’s no one like Tess. She deserves someone like that.”
Laurel hadn’t meant to bristle at the mention of another of Val’s ex’s, but meeting Cat had her on edge. Her head pounded. To think of Val holding any other woman would make her crazy. She knew she had no claim on Val. She also knew she shouldn’t be doing anything with Val because they likely had no long-term future. But Laurel couldn’t help herself. She wanted something. Something she couldn’t explain. Maybe she just needed to make love with Val, but somehow, she didn’t think that was it. It went deeper. The things she hadn’t told Val were the things that kept her from having any serious relationships at all for years. If the cancer developed, she might not have to worry about a future with Val at all. It was also possible Val would be completely turned off by her secret. Deep down, the thought of Val rejecting her nearly broke her. She stifled a cry into Val’s chest, praying she’d think it was over Cat or Tess.
Val squeezed her. “Hey, hey, honey. Honestly, I was never in love with Tess. I cared for her, I did. I could never be what she needed or deserved. Kelly will give her everything I couldn’t.”
Laurel lay quiet for a long time thinking. Her mind refused to settle. It felt so right to be in Val’s arms, like it was the one place she was meant to be. She was conflicted by her physical and emotional attraction to Val in combination with her hesitation to reveal her whole self and what she’d been through. The fear of rejection sat on her chest like a lead weight threatening to hold her down. I want her so much. Her jealousy today was proof of her desire to be with Val.
Laurel dried her tears on Val's shirt, her lips inadvertently brushing Val’s nipple. She heard Val groan in pleasure. Her desire pushed through the veil of doubt. She needed to feel Val. This time she moved her lips across it deliberately. She felt Val arch into her touch. She raised her eyes to Val's hooded ones and brought her lips to the cotton-covered nipple again. She gently bit the hardening point, enjoying the possessive way Val's hand curled at the nape of her neck, pushing her closer. Her left hand slipped beneath the hem of the t-shirt. Her fingers met soft, warm skin and traced the hardened abdominal muscles, scoring gently with her short nails. She felt the raised scar from Val’s surgery running in an arc and skimmed it with her fingertips. She closed her eyes and pushed the doubt into the background. Raising her head, she watched Val's cool blue eyes turn dark and ravenous with desire. Laurel inched up the bed. She captured Val's lips with hers, and then traced them with her tongue.
Peppermint! She captured those lips again and pushed her tongue in between Val's. Val met Laurel’s teasing tongue with her own, capturing it in her teeth and pulling the smaller woman on top of her.
"Watch your arm," Laurel whispered.
"My arm is fine. Other parts of me need immediate attention."
Laurel pushed up the t-shirt and kissed the inside curve of her right breast, then her left. She let her lips linger over the taut nipple. She sucked it and felt a hand pushing her head down. "You like it harder, love?"
Val nodded. "Yes."
Laurel kneaded the other breast with her hand and rolled the nipple between her fingers, pinching hard enough to draw a hiss of pleasure and an arch of Val's back. God, she wanted Val. She rose on her knees, kneeling beside Val’s hips. Val tried to remove the shirt Laurel wore, but she wasn't ready to bare all and stopped her.
She leaned down to kiss Val and whispered against her lips. “This is for your pleasure. Let me do this for you."
She removed Val's boxers and marveled at the soft wisps of blonde hair forming a triangle between her legs. The intoxicating smell of Val's arousal flooded Laurel's senses as she ran her hand through the curls. Kissing Val's lips, she whispered,
"How quiet can you be?"
Val moaned and used her good arm to push Laurel down her body. "Please."
Laurel let a purely predatory grin cross her lips and slid down until she could reposition herself between Val’s legs. She skimmed her stomach with her lips reverently kissing the scar. She lingered in Val's soft curls, using her tongue to taste a hint of Val's pleasure before lifting her eyes to the blue ones staring back at her. She wanted to see what her touch did. She wanted to know that in taking her, Val knew how much she was wanted. She lowered her lips to Val, using her tongue to part the warm folds. Covering Val with long strokes, she teased. She drank in the evidence of arousal and felt Val's body tense beneath her. She kissed her inner thighs and held her lips inches from Val’s center.
Val's right hand made her way into Laurel’s dark hair, once again making a strangled plea for release. "Please, baby," she whispered.
Laurel needed no more encouragement. She sucked Val's clit and drove her tongue into Val's depths, moaning at how wet Val was and how urgent her hip movement had become. She could tell Val was trying to be quiet, as muffled sounds of pleasure escaped her lips. The more Laurel sucked and bit her clit, the more vocal she became. At this point, she didn't care if Jo and Liz heard. She wanted to draw the guttural sounds of pleasure from this woman like she’d never wanted before. She drew her right hand between Val's legs and ran a finger through the wetness.
"Laurel, oh God! Don't stop!"
Laurel reveled as she watched Val's back arch, sweat glistening on the body bending to her will. She withdrew her fingers and slipped her tongue inside. She could feel the tension, but it felt like Val was holding back. Laurel raised her head. "I'm not done yet, and I can tell you aren't either."
"No, I still need more," Val gasped.
"Tell me what you need, love."
“I need…I need…"
Laurel climbed up beside her body and kissed her. "Ask. There’s nothing I won't give you."
"I know. I just don't know if you can.”
Laurel put her hand in the middle of Val's chest and held her down. "You need me to do this?" Somewhere deep inside her, she felt Val’s need to be taken. She wanted to be the one to bridge this gap and allow her to surrender to the pleasure.
"Yes."
"And this?" She didn't wait for Val to answer as she drove three fingers deep inside her. Val arched her back on the bed. Laurel stroked in and out, increasing the speed, all while driving deeper and deeper. She curled her fingers at the end of each thrust before withdrawing for the next stroke. She kissed Val and bit her lower lip as the woman below her struggled to hold back the final release. Laurel found Val's eyes and demanded they stay on hers.
Laurel moved her lips close to Val’s ear. "Come for me."
Her lover slipped over the edge and cried out in her release. "Laurel!"
Laurel collapsed beside a heavily breathing Val. Her own breath was rapid as she lay reveling in the feeling of what had happened between them. "God, baby, I've never made love to anyone like that." Val still hadn’t spoken, and she rose up on one arm to be able to look in Val’s eyes. She found them swimming with tears. Alarmed she sat up. “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you all right?” Shit. Did she hurt her shoulder?
Val bit her lip. “I’ve never let myself go where we did or ever voiced those desires. Being with you is so different. I can’t…I need…”
Laurel watched her visibly struggle to rein in something unspoken. “Honey, you’re safe. It’s okay. Let your guard down. I won’t hurt you. I’ll be right here.” She watched as a cloud veiled Val’s eyes. Val’s breathing became rapid, and her body tensed as she blindly reached out. Laurel grabbed her hand and held it to her chest. Her mind tried to process what she was seeing. Val’s eyes were now wild, unfocused. She’s flashing. "Val baby, look at me. Look at me. Slow your breathing. I'm right here with you. You’re in no danger. You’re in my arms and we just made love. Val, look at me." Within seconds, Laurel saw the blue eyes before her clear and focus. Smiling, she leaned down and kissed Val.
Val shook and her voice came out on a whisper. "I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened there.”
“It’s ok, whatever it was has passed. You’re ok, and you’re here with me.”
“I can’t explain it. Laurel, there’s never been anyone in my life I’ve ever trusted the way I do you. I’m constantly trying to stay in control. For once, I needed to allow someone else have it."
Laurel calmed her own breathing and settled down. "I’m honored. I’m not sure what’s in store for us or where this is headed. I do know I've never felt anything like this. I know that's so cliché, but it's true. Being with you, I feel complete, and that’s a rare thing for me. There are things I want to tell you, things I need to tell you, but not tonight. Tonight, I need to hold you and be held by you."
Val reached up and traced her jawline. "Don't you want me to touch you?"
"Yes, I do, but not tonight. Tonight, I just want this." She kissed Val, and snuggled into her neck, feeling warm skin beneath her cheek.
Val pulled her closer. "Then this is what you’ll get.”
Laurel wrapped her arms around the taller woman. Tonight, none of her own fears mattered. Even with all her doubts, she realized she was exactly where she wanted to be.
***
Muted sunlight slipped through the partially open blinds, rays falling across Laurel’s face. Val pushed a lock of chestnut hair away from her mouth, and then lightly traced her lower lip with her thumb where a small smile formed. “Morning.”
Laurel opened her eyes and wiped a hand across them. “Hi.”
Val kissed Laurel, her heart melting with each tender caress. She was sure she’d never get tired of looking into those eyes, the color of spring grass. “How’d you sleep?”
Smirking, Laurel ran a finger along Val’s jawline. “Like a rock. I think you wore me out.”
Val laughed. “I wore you out? I think it’s the other way around.”
“My part required a little effort, if I do say so myself.”
“Your part was outstanding.” Val smiled and then caught Laurel’s bright green eyes. “No one has ever been able to read my desire the way you do.” She sighed. Her eyes followed the dip in her shirt that exposed Laurel’s collarbone. She reached out and let her finger glide across it and enjoying the shiver it elicited. “Laurel, I’ve never let anyone as close to me as I’ve let you.”
Laurel reached out and ran a hand down her arm.
“I don’t just mean physically. I mean in here.” She pointed to her head. “And here.” She pointed to her heart.
Laurel leaned up on an elbow. “Why?”
Val let her fingers trail small circles on Laurel’s side. She tried to put her thoughts into some sensible order. How can I explain my inadequacies and fear? “I’ve spent my life trying to gain some form of control. Control I didn’t have as a child, control I didn’t have in Iraq, and control I still don’t have over the memories. I’ve never let anyone close because I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
Val rolled over onto her back and put a hand over her eyes. “Afraid of what I could do. You saw how close I came to flashing. If I’m,” she stopped and paused for a long moment collecting her thoughts. “If I’m not in control, I could hurt you.” She choked back a sob. “I hurt Tess, physically. If I ever did anything like that to you, it would kill me.”
Laurel reached up and placed her palm against Val’s cheek and lifted Val’s hand. She held it in hers. “I’ve seen your episodes. I’m more afraid of not being there than I am of you hurting me. I’m tougher than I look. Let me be there for you.”
“I have no doubt about how tough you are.” Val kissed her hand. “I’m trying, Laurel, I really am.”
“That’s all I can ask. Now, as much as I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, how about we find our way to the coffee I smell?”
Val rolled over and kissed her again. “If we must.” She took a deep bre
ath, pulling in the buttery aroma of Liz’s favorite Kona bean Val knew she ground herself. “It does smell good. She orders it from a single source bean roaster in Hawaii. Liz isn’t extravagant about much, but coffee? She’s a snob. Lucky us.”
Chapter Seventeen
AFTER WASHING UP AND dressing, they made their way downstairs for breakfast. Jo had a piece of toast shoved in her mouth as she wheeled up to the table to a waiting cup of coffee. She eyed them and smirked. "Morning. Want coffee?"
Laurel kissed the top of Val's head. "I'll be right back. I forgot your meds."
Val closed her eyes at the touch and turned back to Jo. "Always, thanks."
Jo headed back to the coffee pot and poured Val a cup. Jo whispered, “With a side of exorcism."
Liz scowled and smacked her on the arm. "Stop."
Val smirked over her coffee cup. "Funny, Jo. Not like I haven't heard a few things coming from your room on nights I've stayed over. Now don't you dare say a thing to Laurel or I'll chock your wheels."
Jo put her hand to her lips and pretended to lock them, throwing away the key as Laurel re-entered the room. She put Val's pills down in front of her and ran her hand down Val's arm.
Liz moved the conversation to a safer subject. "So, surgery Thursday?"
"Yeah, Cat wanted it out of the brace, thank God. She said it won't heal on its own. It’s pretty trashed. At least I have use of both my hands now."
"Just in time," Jo said.
Liz glared at her.
"What did I say?" Jo protested. "She'll need both her hands to put her leg on once it's fixed."
Liz rolled her eyes and pulled a cup of yogurt from the refrigerator. Laurel had a look of confusion on her face until she had her first sip of coffee. Val watched as clarity came over Laurel’s face, and a blush slowly began to creep up her neck. Val reached out and put her hand on Laurel’s leg. Laurel smiled and that was enough for Val to know she was ok.
"It’ll feel good to be out of this chair. I don't know how you do it, Jo," Val said, admiration filling her voice.