Her lips press together into a thin line and she blinks rapidly. She’s trying to stop herself from crying. I drink my tea and let her compose herself, it takes a while, but she gets it together. “So, what’s the arsehole doing?”
“He’s calling every day, sometimes twice. Each time he tells me that he’ll be seeing me soon. He’s…”
“Right, we’ll get you a new number, we should have done that as soon as that arsehole called the first time.” She pulls out her phone and texts someone. “What did you say his name was again?”
“I didn’t.” I haven’t said his name out loud in years, I always thought if I said his name out loud it would be like Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when anyone said Voldemort’s name people came and snatched them. That’s what I’ve been imagining would happen if I say his name, that he’ll come and take me.
“Okay, so what’s his name? He’s probably just trying to scare you, I think that he’s full of shit and has no idea where you are.” She sounds so confident and yet she’s so wrong.
“He found out where I am, where I live,” I say softly, and glance at my hands when fear seeps into her eyes. “He’s been sending me letters weekly,” I whisper, I’m so stupid for not telling her sooner.
“Natalie, why on earth didn’t you tell me. I could have sorted this out. You’ve been living in fear for too long. You silly girl, you should have said something.” Now she’s the one that’s whispering, her face etched with worry.
“I didn’t want to bur…”
She holds her hand up. “I don’t want that word said ever again. Now, I’m going to make a phone call or is there anything else that you haven’t told me?”
I take a deep breath and tell her about last night. “That new client? About seven months ago we met, and he took me for coffee, well I got tea. But we got on, for the first time in my life I felt normal and I honestly had the best time. We met up the next day and had coffee again, I brought him back to my hotel room and we had sex.”
She raises her brow in surprise. “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.”
I laugh. “Yeah me either, Pen, I really liked him. I went to sleep that night thinking that I had finally found my reason to leave this life.” I was so bloody stupid.
“So, what happened?”
I swallow harshly trying to get past the lump in my throat. “I woke up in morning and he was gone, I didn’t see him again until a couple of months ago when Stef and I bumped into him and his girlfriend at the park.”
She’s quiet for a moment; I watch as the wheels turn behind her eyes. “Let me guess, he and the girlfriend split up?” I nod. “And what, he thinks he can have you now? No, he doesn’t get to do that to you. That arsehole, had you told me this before, last night would never have happened.”
“I’m so confused Pen, I have no idea what to do.” Maybe she can steer me in the right direction, help me figure out what the right thing to do is, do I give up and walk away or do I give in and give him another chance?
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “I bet you are, the question is do you love him?”
I laugh. “Pen, I’m not sure. Can you fall in love with someone that quickly? I’m not sure.” Who falls in love that quickly?
She tilts her head to the side. “Yes Nat you do. I think deep down, you have the answer. You wouldn’t have sex with anyone who isn’t a client.”
She’s right, I don’t sleep with anyone that isn’t a client, to do so is something intimate and personal and it means that I trust them so far that’s only been one person… Richie. Do I trust him now? Hell fucking no, can I trust him again? That I have no idea about.
Penelope reaches over the bar and holds onto my hand. “Nat, I need your stepdad's name.”
“Terry Martins,” I tell her and anger hits her eyes, she finally has his name and I have no idea what happens next. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to make a phone call.” She squeezes my hand quickly before releasing it. “I won’t be long.”
While I wait for her to come back, I get up and bring both mine and Pen’s mugs over to the sink and wash them up. My eyes drift to the fridge where Richie’s number is. I came home last night and for some reason I can’t comprehend I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, so I put it on the fridge, maybe I should sit down with him and discuss everything. Last night I was left with even more questions than I was before. Like why on earth did he tell his sister about me and why is she wanting us to be together? Did he not tell her that I'm an escort? Because if he did, I doubt she'd want him anywhere near me.
The clicking of heels against the floor tells me that Pen’s finished her phone call. "Grant's looking into it, he's going to make sure that arsehole stays wherever the hell he is and doesn't come anywhere near you." She leans up against the counter with her arms folded.
"Grant?" I asked confused, why is Grant looking into it?
She sighs. "Yeah, Grant's a detective with the Met police."
How the hell didn't I know this? "He never said, I even asked him where he worked, and he changed the subject. Why hide it?"
“I asked him not to mention it to you. I didn’t want to spook you and for you to run, it took me ages to find you and if he told you what he did you would have legged it, I’d never find you, so he did as I asked. I’ll not apologise for having it hidden from you.” She narrows her eyes, daring me to argue with her, I reckon if there was an Olympic sport for arguing, Pen would win gold every time. “Right, I’m off, I need to sort some things out for tonight.”
“Okay, thank you.” And I do something I’ve yet to do of my own free will. I walk up to her and hug her, my arms tighten around her and I rest my head against her shoulder. “Love you Pen,” I whisper.
“I love you too Nat,” she whispers back, her arms going around me and pulling me closer to her. We stay like this for a while, neither of us saying anything. I pull away and give her a smile.
“Now don’t you start getting soft on me,” she warns me but there’s no heat in her voice, her tone is full of love and affection.
“God no, no way will I ever get soft,” I say with utter disgust that she even said that.
“Right I’m off. Nat, you need to think long and hard about that guy. Everything he’s done and everything you’ve felt. Follow your heart, it won’t steer you wrong.” She walks out of the kitchen, I don’t follow her out instead I stare at the fridge.
Walking into my bedroom I grab my phone and walk back to the fridge and call the number. It rings, and my heart pounds, it keeps ringing and my hands become sweaty. Finally, the ringing stops and I inhale sharply as I wait for him to talk.
“Hello?” I hear the softly spoken voice of a woman and my heart sinks, tears fall, and I instantly hang up. Who knew that someone saying hello could hurt this badly? He’s with someone else? I knew he was full of shit. That man does nothing except break my heart and I’m stupid because I let him. I do the only thing I can; I walk into my bedroom and crawl into bed, tears still streaming down my face. Then I close my eyes and sob.
Standing outside the market I wait for Stefanie, she sounded like she was ready to kill someone when I called her earlier. Looks like I’m not the only one with problems. I’ve managed to stop crying although I look like shit, I fell asleep after crawling back into bed and when I woke up it was the afternoon. I knew I had to get the hell out of the house or I’d be in my head and crying for the whole day, so I called Stef wondering if she was busy. I needed someone to help take my mind off that arsehole and she was the first person I thought of, thankfully she wasn’t and was on the way to Camden Market, we’re meeting any moment now.
As soon as she arrives, she takes one look at me and pulls me into her arms, a few tears fall but thankfully not that many and I wipe them away as I tell her about Richie and the engagement party last night as we walk around the market. She’s shocked, her mouth drops open in surprise, I don’t tell her about some other woman on the phone thi
s morning, I don’t want her to think I’m stupid for crying over him.
“Just be careful okay? I don't want you getting hurt and Richie has it written all over him. People don't switch off their emotions that quickly. Something about this is iffy.” There’s something she’s not telling me, her eyes are giving her away, she can’t look me in the eye.
It finally clicks, Jess has told her and I’m pretty sure I have an idea what it is. “He loved her, didn't he?” There goes another piece of my heart. That man just takes and takes from me. He has no idea how much he’s hurting me. “Stef?” I ask because she’s been really silent, she’s not answered my question.
“He said he did but he might not have, sometimes lust can be confused with love. The only way you'll be certain is if you have it out with him. Ask him and see what he says, it will save the regrets later.” She looks guilty and I think she may realise that I like him a lot more than I have let on.
A part of me wants nothing to do with him but there’s a big part of me that wants to find out why the hell he’s been playing me. But if I do, I’ll only end up getting hurt again but I’d rather do that than live in regret.
“Yeah, I suppose. It's not like I've anything to lose. If he loves her then I'm done. I won't be second best to anyone.” I’m going to find out why he’s an arsehole and what he’s getting out of hurting me. A sense of relief hits me, I’m going to find out why he’s a wanker.
Looking at Stef, the bags under her eyes are hard to miss, her protruding bump is so noticeable now, it’s not that long until she’s due. “Want to tell me what's wrong with you?”
She groans. “Where do I even start?” She looks like she wants to cry.
I laugh a little, she’s so dramatic. “The beginning is usually the best place.”
She goes on to tell me about James and how he was married, how his ex-wife is causing them all so much pain and misery. Tears fall when she tells me about her suffering a miscarriage, she was pregnant with twins and one of those twins died. I can’t even imagine the pain she’s in. My heart hurts for her, I can’t believe that she went through all of that alone. Why didn’t she tell us, we’d have been there to support her?
We walk around the rest of the market, all that’s going through my mind is how short life is, how much pain and suffering Stef has gone through and that she deserves someone to be there to hold her hand through it all. We get to a cake stall and Stef’s face lights up like a child. She ends up buying loads of cakes, my stomach flips just listening to her ordering them, but they look amazing, but I’ve eaten enough sugary shit to last me a lifetime.
I pull out my phone and send Richie a text message, I want to get this over and done with, so I can get on with my life.
Me: We need to talk, I want to have a full and frank discussion, no lies.
I glance over at Stef and catch her pulling her phone out of her handbag, whatever she reads has the end of her lips turning up in a tiny smile. We walk back, and I decide to walk her to her street, it’s not that far to the tube station from there, my phone vibrates halfway there, and I look down and notice that Richie’s replied, my heart soars and I smile, why do I react this way to him?
Richie: That sounds ominous, I’m sorry I missed your call earlier. I was at Shauna and Mike’s getting Mary-Anne and Shauna answered but said there was no one on the other end. I didn’t realise it was you.
That’s one long text but at least he explained who the woman was, I’m so bloody stupid for getting so upset.
Me: Okay, when are you free?
Richie: I’m working now until Wednesday. Is Wednesday evening okay?
I don’t really have a choice if that’s the earliest that we can meet.
Me: Yeah that’s fine, text me on Wednesday and we can decide where.
Richie: Okay Natalie, I’ll see you on Wednesday.
I can’t believe that I’m going to have to wait three days before I get answers, he’s a twat for making me wait that long. We get to Stef’s street and I spot James walking towards us. “That's my cue, I'll talk to you later. Love you.” I kiss her cheek and walk away, maybe Pen was right, and maybe I’m going soft? I’ve told two people today that I love them and before I hadn’t told a single person that.
Walking home, I send Pen a message asking for Wednesday off, I want to ensure that if Richie and I are going to talk Wednesday that we talk without any interruptions. It doesn’t take her long to reply.
Penelope: Of course, just be sensible and don’t let him get away with being a prick.
Typical Pen always makes me smile. She always says whatever’s on her mind, and she’s always looking out for me.
Chapter 13
Today’s the day, it’s Wednesday and Richie texted me this morning asking me if we’re still on, I waited half an hour before texting him back. He’s made me wait three days, so half an hour was nothing. I texted him back and told him that yes, we were still on for this evening. I’ve been having bloody nightmares about how this chat is going to go down and each and every time I come to the same conclusion, that he’s just going to hurt me again.
Stef and James look as though they’re doing better, they’re communicating better and Stef’s finally starting to say what’s on her mind rather than bottling things up. Both Pen and I are so excited to meet Stef’s baby, she’s having a boy and between Penelope and I, that boy is going to be spoilt rotten. Stef also told me that Jessica is pregnant too, at first, I thought she was telling me because it was Richie’s, but she explained that Jess had broken up with Richie because she was still in love with her ex, the father of her five-year-old daughter. They got back together and they’re expecting another baby. I’m curious as to how Richie will react to the news especially after finding out that he was in love with Jess.
Penelope’s ex-husband is still out, apparently his conviction has been overturned due to the new evidence coming to light. I’ve no idea what the evidence is but whatever it is Penelope thinks it’s fake, that someone is planting evidence to get him out. She’s made it her mission to have him back behind bars. She’s told me not to mention anything to Grant and I hate that she’s keeping secrets. Secrets have a way of sneaking up on people and destroying them. I’ve told her that I believe she should tell him, he’d be pissed off when he finds out and him being a policeman he’s going to find out or he’s already found out. There’s no way he’s not looked into Pen and her past so he has to have heard about her ex and in turn I’d say he was informed about it as he’s out already and probably waiting for Pen to tell him.
I’ve less than two hours until I’m meeting Richie and I have no idea what to wear. I’ve looked through my wardrobe three times already and each and every time I come out empty handed. I’m seriously contemplating wearing what I’ve got on now. My phone rings and I rush into the kitchen to answer it. Looking at the screen I sigh, it’s Richie. I get dread in the pit of my stomach, he’s going to cancel on me.
“Hello?” I steel myself for what’s to come.
“Hey,” That voice, God, why is it that an arsehole can have such a sexy voice? “I’ve managed to get off work early, I was wondering if you were ready to meet?”
Huh? Well I wasn’t expecting that, I was sure he was cancelling. “When are you thinking?” I look down at my clothes, I’m in my leggings and a T-shirt, I can’t go out looking like I’m about to go to the gym.
“I’m ready whenever you are.” Shit, he sounds happy, here I am almost having palpitations.
I spot the basket of clean clothes on top of the tumble dryer and I spy my black jeans folded on top of the basket. Yes, I’ll be ready soon. “I’ll meet you in forty-five minutes, that’s the earliest I can do?” I ask hoping that he’ll be okay waiting that long.
“That’s perfect, I’ll see you shortly.” There’s a smile in his voice, but I don’t understand why he’s looking forward to this. I mean we’re going to talk about everything that’s happened, that shouldn’t be something to be happy about.
/> “Bye.” I hang up and dash to the basket and grab my jeans.
Forty-five minutes later I’m walking up to O’Connor’s bar, Richie’s waiting outside pacing. He looks worried, at least I’m not the only one who’s worried. God, this could end terribly, that’s something I don’t want but I’ve almost convinced myself it will happen.
As soon as he spots me his face lights up. “I’m glad you’re here. When you texted the other day, I couldn’t believe it. I swear I reread that text a couple of times before replying. I honestly thought that I’d never see you again after Shauna’s engagement party.”
I shrug. “Yeah I didn’t think we’d be here, but I have questions and if we didn’t set up a meeting, those questions would have remained unanswered. So here we are.” My nerves are kicking in now.
“Okay, so let’s go in, get a drink and talk. If you don’t think I’m a complete arse, we can get some dinner too?” At least he doesn’t have his hopes up about us.
“Okay. Lead the way.” I gesture for him to go ahead and he gives me a tight smile. I’m not going to drink alcohol, I’m not that stupid, whenever I’m around him I want him, that’s never changed, add alcohol to that mix and it’s a sure way for me to make a bad decision.
Walking into the bar, I look around and realise that it’s a lot busier than I thought it would be at this time of the evening, there’s at least twenty people in here luckily, it’s a big bar so there’s plenty of room. “What drink would you like?”
“Can I get a coke please.”
I get a weird look off of him but he doesn’t comment. “Of course, I’ll grab the drinks if you grab a table.”
Nodding, I turn and walk towards the back of the bar, wanting to be out of the way so we can talk, at least we’re sat away from the toilets. Usually they’re always at the back of the bar, but here, they’re upstairs. Richie takes a seat and hands me a glass with ice and a can of coke.
The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 11