“It’s my pleasure. You’re going to be a great stylist. I’ve told Penelope to inform me when you have the baby. I’ll come up and visit you in the hospital.” She pulls back and holds my hand and gives it a tight squeeze.
“You mean visit the baby.” As soon as Malachy is born anyone who visits will want to see him, not me.
“Visit the two of you. Good luck, Natalie, I’ll see you soon.” She waves goodbye and walks away.
I make my way to Charles’ waiting car, as soon as I get in, I sigh in relief. It’s not going to be long until I’m home, I close my eyes and lean my head against the headrest. Charles doesn’t say anything, he turns down the music and lets me relax. The pain in my lower back starts up again and this time is worse than it has been. I move in my seat to try to ease it but nothing I do is helping it.
“Natalie, are you okay?” Charles calls out sounding worried.
“Yeah, just overdid it today. My back’s killing me. I’m tired, I can’t wait to go to sleep,” I mumble as I close my eyes again, glad that the pain is easing.
“Rest up Natalie, you’ll be home in no time,” he says gently as he drives.
The entire drive home the pain keeps coming in waves. I don’t have a clue what the hell is going on, it’s like having period pain but ten times worse. It lasts for a couple of minutes and then eases again. Charles helps me out of the car and I’m shocked to find Pen standing outside my house.
“Natalie, are you okay?” Her face etched in worry.
“Yeah, I’m okay. What’s wrong?” My mind's racing as to what’s happened. Why is she here?
“Nothing, Charles said that you’ve had a rough day and you’re in pain. I thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing. If you wanted food?” Her voice is strained, as she takes my arm and helps me into the house.
“Yeah my bloody back’s playing up. It’s probably from being bent over a sink or broom all day.” Just as I get to my front door, I get a popping sensation followed by a gush. I’m soaked. Looking down, I’m mortified when I see the puddle that I’m standing in.
“Natalie, your waters have just broken.” Penelope sounds stunned, her eyes drawn to the floor as she looks at the puddle I’ve created.
“Why did they say that I wouldn’t get this?” I’m shocked. The midwife said that it’s very unusual that someone will have a big gush when their waters break.
“Because most have trickles or slow labour.” She’s distracted and I’m starting to freak out. “Natalie, deep breaths, what’s wrong?”
“You said labour, Pen, am I in labour?” I can’t be, not now.
“Yes, it’s going to be okay.” She smooths my hair down as she whispers, “It’s going to be okay.”
“Pen, it’s too early. It’s way too early; there’s still three weeks to go.”
“Listen to me Natalie, it’s going to be okay. Thirty-seven weeks isn’t too early. You’re scared, I understand that. I’ve been in this position too. Malachy is going to be fine. Charles, where is her hospital bag?”
A sharp pain hits me and I grab my stomach as I try to remember the breathing techniques that I learned at my antenatal classes. Penelope’s right, I’m scared of being a mum. I thought I was prepared but I’m not.
“That’s it Nat, breathe through them. You’re doing great. Charles her bag?” Pen leads me to the car as Charles opens my front door; my bag is in the hall by the door. “Nat, you doing okay?” Pen asks while helping me into the car.
“Yeah, I’m okay. The pain’s eased again.” I wipe my forehead, my head soaked with sweat. “Penelope, I’m soaking wet. I’m ruining his back seat.”
She laughs. “No you’re not. It’s fine, it’ll be cleaned and like new. I doubt Charles gives a shit if you wet his seat. He’s worried about you.”
“There’s no need to worry. As you said, I’m going to be okay, right?” I ask, just as Charles gets into the front.
“Yes, you’re going to be fine, Nat. Malachy’s on his way. You get to hold him in your arms soon.”
Hearing those words has everything in me settling, Malachy’s going to be in my arms soon, and I’m so excited. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time now. There’s only one thing I wish, I wish that Richie was here. I want him to see his son being born into the world. Pain hits me again and Pen helps me with my breathing while also counting how long it lasts.
“What are you thinking about?” Pen asks. “Your face changed from happiness to sadness.”
“I wish Richie were here.” Charles hasn’t been able to find him yet. I never did find out what part of Sligo he lives in, and all we can go off is his parents’ names. Although, I don’t think that Charles is looking too hard. I overheard him say that he’s found my stepdad. Penelope and Charles were talking about how my stepdad has stage four testicular cancer. He doesn't have much longer to live, which is probably why the calls and letters stopped, although moving may have helped that too. But when Charles told me that he’s dying all I could think was that karma got him. He deserves to die a slow and painful death.
“Oh Nat, of course you do. I wish he was here too. As much as I hate the prick, I think he should be here for his son, for support for you. I’m sorry that we’ve not found him yet.” She looks at Charles, and something passes through her eyes. She’s trying to communicate with him, but I can’t tell if Charles sees her.
Pain hits me again, and this is stronger than it’s been before. They seem to be coming more frequently now as well as lasting longer. I breathe through the pain, inhaling deeply and holding it for three seconds before slowing exhaling. It helps to focus my mind off the pain and on my breathing.
“We’re almost at the hospital, Nat. Keep breathing through the pain.” Pen rubs my back, the palm of her hand digging into my back. It’s heaven, it’s taking some of the pain from my back away.
“I’m so excited but also nervous.” I have no idea what I’m supposed to do after he’s born. I’ve only been around Carter and even then, I only held him. Stef is kind of a control freak with him, I understand why, as she was pregnant with twins and one of those twins died during her pregnancy.
“You’ll be fine,” she says, her palm still rubbing my back. “We’re here,” she says with a huge smile. “You ready?”
I nod as another wave of pain hits me. “God, it’s getting worse,” I cry, and tears cascade down my face.
“Ssh, you’re going to be okay.” She kisses my head as she pulls me into her arms. “Charles, find a wheelchair,” she barks out.
“No!” I cry. “God no, I can walk.”
“Nat, I don’t think that’s wise,” she says as she helps me out of the car. “You’re in a lot of pain.”
“I’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go to the maternity ward,” I say and my face flames as I realise, I’m walking like John Wayne due to the wetness of my trousers.
An hour later and I’m lying on a bed, all my dignity flew out the window as soon as I walked in here. The pain is coming every two minutes and I’m sucking on gas and air like it’s my lifeline. How anyone gets through this with no painkillers is beyond me. I’ve been shouting to give me all they’ve got for the last ten minutes but I’m too far along for the epidural. I’m eight centimetres dilated, which means that Malachy will be here soon. That’s the only thing keeping me going at the moment.
“Penelope!” I cry out as I’m hit with unbearable pain. “Please Pen, make it stop,” I scream as I get an urge to push.
Pen smooths my hair down as she holds me. “You’re doing fantastic Nat, I’m so proud of you.”
“Pen,” I pant. “I need to push.”
Her eyes widen, and the midwife touches my leg. “That’s okay Natalie, it’s natural to feel that urge. You’re going to bear down when the next contraction hits, okay?”
I nod, remembering the antenatal classes; they walked us through this.
“Good, that’s good. Your mum will count you through them.” The midwife smiles.
Pe
n’s lips go into a thin line, and I can’t help but laugh, but my laughter is soon stopped when a contraction hits.
“Okay, Natalie, bear down. Mum, count to ten,” The midwife says and both she and Pen count to ten. I bear down, and the pain is horrific, I’ve never been through pain like this before and I never want to again. I’m sweating profusely, I need a bloody shower and Malachy’s not even here yet.
“Pen, when I see Richie, I’m going to kill him.” I scream as my next contraction hits.
“You’re not the only one Nat, but could you ease up your grip? You’re draining all the blood from my hand,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Ahh!” I scream. “God, Pen, make it stop,” I beg her.
“Natalie, you’re almost there, keep going,” The midwife says, her voice calm and controlled.
I cry, I’m so tired. “I want this to stop. It hurts too much.”
“Natalie, you’re almost there. I promise you, just a few more pushes and he’ll be here,” The midwife says.
Pen smooths my hair again, this time bringing it away from my face. “She’s right Nat, just a little bit more.”
I nod just as the contraction comes again. “Push,” The midwife cries and I push and push.
“I see his head,” The midwife says and I’m smiling. “He’s got hair.”
“No, get away from down there,” I cry out as Pen moves down to look at his hair.
She waves her hand. “Oh shush you. Nat, he’s got thick black hair.”
“He does? Show me,” I say, excitement rushes through me, this is it.
A few moments later, the midwife places Malachy on my chest. “Congratulations, Natalie, you’ve a beautiful baby boy.”
Looking down at this baby, I realise what everyone’s said is true, once I see my baby, all the pain I went through is gone.
“I love you so much,” I whisper to him as I place a kiss on his head. “Pen, he’s perfect!” I can’t believe how amazing he is.
“Just like his mother,” she says, and I don’t say anything about the tears falling down her cheeks.
“Happy birthday Malachy Charles Murphy,” I whisper again to him and enjoy having his tiny body against mine.
Chapter 22
Three days Later
Malachy and I were able to go home the day after he was born. He’s healthy and I’m so in love with my son. We’ve been home two days now and it’s weird having him here, but it’s so good to hold him. Malachy loves snuggles, he’ll fall asleep with his body against my chest. I’m tired, beyond tired, he’s waking up every four hours which isn’t too bad, I’m just struggling to sleep but I’m loving every moment with him.
Tiptoeing out of the bedroom with a basket in one hand and the baby monitor in the other so I don’t wake him, he’s been bathed and fed and now is fast asleep. I’ve been told that I should try to get some sleep too but I’ve so much to do. I’ve got to clean the house, put a wash on and have a shower. By the time I’ve done all that, he’ll be awake. He’s good though, I can run the hoover over the house and he doesn’t wake up, which is great because it means that while he’s asleep I can do the cleaning and spend time with him while he’s awake.
I walk downstairs and into the kitchen, chucking the clothes into the washing machine. That’s one thing ticked off my list, I fill the sink with water and washing up liquid and leave the breakfast dishes to soak. I take the hoover out of the cupboard and begin to hoover the sitting room. God, I’m sweating, and I’ve only done one room, I’ve loads more to do, I’ve got to drag that hoover upstairs and bloody hoover the stairs too.
Twenty minutes later and the hoovering and washing up are done. I’m just about to go upstairs and jump into the shower when there’s a knock at the door. Groaning, I go and answer it. Wanting to hurry up because Malachy could wake at any stage. Looking through the peephole I see that Pen and Grant are standing there.
Opening it, they both smile. “Where is that gorgeous little boy?” Pen asks walking past me and into the house.
“Asleep,” I reply as Grant comes in and gives me a hug, he’s not met Malachy yet, Pen is the only one to have visited since we’ve been home. I asked that everyone wait, I wanted a few days home alone, so we could get used to each other.
“You look beautiful as always Natalie, motherhood really suits you,” Grant says his voice deep.
“Thank you, can I get you both a drink?” I ask leading them into the sitting room.
“No, you’re fine thanks Natalie, I know where the kitchen is if we want one. Why are you awake if Malachy is asleep?” Pen asks her eyes narrowing at me as though I’m in trouble.
“I needed to do a few bits, I still need to have a shower.” I pick up my jumper off of the back of the sofa.
“Go have a shower, if Malachy wakes up, I’ll look after him. You look so tired, why don’t you have a little nap after your shower? Grant and I will stay here and watch him for you, so you can get a bit of sleep.”
“Really?” I ask in disbelief, why would they wait here while I’m asleep?
Pen gives me a dirty look. “Of course, now go!” She shoos me away and I do as she says.
I’m grateful to have her to lean on. I’m getting to a stage where I’m becoming irritable, I need to sleep, hopefully I’ll be able to sleep once I go to bed.
“I’ll only sleep for an hour.” I’ll set an alarm, so that I don’t oversleep. I don’t want to take the piss with Grant and Pen’s generosity.
“No, you will not, you’ll sleep for as long as you sleep. Penelope and I aren’t going anywhere, so march up those stairs and have a shower and then go to sleep,” Grant demands and I glance towards Pen who has a loving look on her face.
“Thank you,” I tell them with tears in my eyes. Pen nods and I quietly go upstairs, I grab a towel out of the cupboard and go into the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later and I’m out of the shower and dressed, my hair’s wet but I can’t be arsed drying it. I’m actually really tired now, my eyes were closing when I was in the shower, I thought I might have fallen over. I tiptoe back into my bedroom and look into Malachy’s cot, he’s fast asleep and looks so peaceful. Blowing him a kiss, I take my phone out of my pocket and see that it’s half ten, I place it gently on the bedside table and climb into bed. I fall straight to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I come awake by a high-pitched cry, a cry I’ve come accustomed to over the past three days. Malachy’s hungry. Sitting up I look over to his cot, but he’s gone. He’s crying and realise that he’s downstairs. I shake my head when I remember that Penelope and Grant are here. I actually remember when Malachy woke up, he cried, and I was half asleep when I picked him up and cuddled him. Penelope came up and took him out of my arms and told me to go back to sleep.
Grabbing my phone, I’m shocked to discover that it’s one in the afternoon, God, I was asleep for over three hours. No wonder Malachy is crying, he’s probably hungry. I rush downstairs, the waft of something cooking hits me and my stomach rumbles. I make my way into the sitting room, Grant’s sitting on the sofa with Malachy in his arms giving him a bottle. Witnessing this, he looks so natural, so at ease. I can see why he wants to have children. I never did ask Penelope how things went that night he was hurt. What conclusion did they come to? They’re loved up even more now than they were before so whatever it is, they’re both happy about.
I leave them be and follow the smell of food into the kitchen where I find Penelope cooking. She’s actually cooking, I can’t believe it. “This is something I never thought I’d…” My eyes drift to the washing machine; it’s empty.
She doesn’t turn around, instead she’s focusing on stirring whatever it is that’s in the pan boiling. “I don't cook because I don’t want to, not because I can’t. You have enough on your plate without worrying what you’re going to eat so I’ve been making up some food that you can freeze. Oh, your clothes are on the radiators, it was mainly Malachy’s clothes. Nat, this house is spotless when
it doesn’t need to be.”
“Thank you, Pen.” Yet again she shows me how amazing she is. “Have you seen Grant and Malachy?”
“Yes, it’s why I’m glad that we reached the decision we made.” She’s so cryptic.
“Oh yeah and what decision was that?” I go over to the kettle and hit boil.
“That we’d let nature take its course. I love Grant and I want him to be happy. What happened with Annalisa was a tragic accident and one that I would hope wouldn’t happen again.” She doesn’t sound happy, and I honestly don’t blame her, the thought of losing Malachy hurts. “So, we’re going to see what happens.”
“You’re a brave woman, Pen. You’re an inspiration, and if you do have another child, you’re going to love that little one just as you love Annalisa and me.”
“I hope so, but I think I’ll be scared that something could happen. That I’ll not be able to protect the baby if something were to happen, just as I didn’t protect Annalisa.” She continues stirring the food, still not looking at me. I don’t believe that she didn’t protect Annalisa. Pen has been through so bloody much, and she deserves to be happy.
“How many times have I told you that is a bunch of horseshit?” Grant’s voice calls out and causes both Pen and me to jump. I turn to look at him, finding his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. But what makes me smile is Malachy snuggled up against his chest.
“That’s a good look for you,” I say with a smirk, I’m firmly on team Grant. I think he’s amazing for Penelope. He’s the reason that she’s happy and even when they’re arguing she’s still happy.
“Here’s hoping that it will happen for us,” he says in a gentle tone, his eyes on Penelope.
“I need to put this into some boxes. It’s ready now,” she says, changing the subject and I reach into the cupboard above her head and pull down all my Tupperware boxes. Penelope starts organising them and it’s when I notice that it’s stew that she’s been making. It looks as delicious as it smells.
The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 19