“I’ll help,” I hold the boxes as Pen pours the stew into them. Once we’re finished, I turn back to Grant and he’s staring at Penelope, he’s worried about her. Malachy is fast asleep against his chest, he looks so peaceful. “How much of his bottle did he drink?”
“He drank all but an ounce.” He sounds proud.
I smile. “Thank you for feeding him.”
“You look refreshed Nat, you need to stop trying to make this house look perfect and sleep whenever you can. If you don’t rest, then you’re going to have a bloody breakdown,” Pen says as she washes up after herself.
“I’m trying to get into a routine, start as I mean to go on. I hate my place looking like a pig sty. It’s going to take a while to adjust.” I shrug, I feel as though I’m being judged, as though Pen and Grant are looking down on me. I’m being stupid, I know that Pen wouldn’t think that, but I can’t help it.
“Nat, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Pen looks at me, sadness clear to see in those deep brown eyes.
“I’m a little touchy, you didn’t upset me. Sometimes it’s as though I’m not good enough.” My arms wrap around my stomach, I’m exposed and vulnerable right now and I hate it.
I watch as Pen dries her hand and walks over to Grant, she leans up and kisses his lips before taking Malachy from his arms and holding him close to her chest. “Natalie, you’re an amazing mum.” She hands me Malachy, and as soon as I take him, he snuggles into me. “See, he loves you. To him, there’s no one better, you’ve shown how much you love him already. Look at you, you’re a natural.”
I love holding him in my arms; when he’s in them, I have my whole world right here. It comes so naturally, it’s so right. I lean down and kiss his tiny head, my nose lingering close to his head as I inhale that baby smell of his. “I love him. I want to show him how much I love him as my mum showed me and as you’ve shown me.”
“He’s going to know that you love him, not only you but all of us. He’s our family just as you are,” Grant says shocking me, I love him, and he likes me but I didn’t think he thought of me as family.
“What he said, besides, we’re not the only ones. While you were asleep I kind of made arrangements for this evening.” I look at her in suspicion, what arrangements has she made? “Stef and the others are coming over, everyone is dying to meet Malachy.”
“Who’s everyone?” My suspicions are through the roof right now.
“Well…” She hesitates, that’s never a good sign. “So, Stef, James, and Carter.” I nod, they’re a package deal. “Then there’s Saffron, Damien, Katy, and Owen.”
That’s not too bad. “Okay, what about Pleasure Palace? Doesn’t Damien need to be there?”
“No, he’s taking a step back, and he’s letting that other bouncer be in charge tonight. I can’t remember his name. Also, Jess and Hunter will be here tonight.”
I sigh, that’s what I was dreading. I actually like Jess, her and Hunter really do belong together. She’s sweeter than I thought she was, and she’s gone out of her way to be friendly with me. That’s not why I was dreading it, I’m dreading it because it’s going to be weird. I’ve just had a baby by her ex.
“Okay, what time are they coming?” Malachy starts to fuss, and whimper and I pull him closer to me, his tiny face against my shoulder.
“They’ll be here soon, I told them that it would be better to have it early. Besides, Stef has Carter and Jess has Emme and Savannah, they’ll both want to be gone at a reasonable time.” She checks her watch. “I told them to come by after three, if you weren’t awake by then I was going to wake you up.”
I shake my head and chuckle. “Thank God, I didn’t sleep that long, if I had I wouldn’t sleep tonight.”
“What do you want for dinner? I’ve told them that we’ll be ordering in, I’ve done enough cooking to last me until next year.” Grant chuckles at Pen’s words. “I’m thinking something easy and something most people would eat.”
“Pizza,” Grant says and Pen smirks, those two are so cute the way they know what the other is thinking.
“Pizza it is, Grant, do you want a drink?” I ask, the man’s been here for hours and he’s been made to babysit Malachy while Penelope became all domesticated.
“Have you any beers?” He smiles when I shake my head. “Okay, I’m going to go to the shop and grab some beers and anything else you need.”
“I don’t think I need anything for Malachy, Penelope saw to that. She went a bit overboard.” That’s an understatement, she’s bought enough nappies, wipes, and formula to last Malachy until he’s twelve.
“I saw that, who do you think she had carry everything?” He winks at her and I turn to look at Malachy when Pen gets a soppy look on her face.
“Okay, I won’t be long, I’ll grab some beers, crisps and stuff.” He leans over and kisses Pen. “Be good,” he warns her.
I laugh at the look on Pen’s face, it’s as though butter wouldn’t melt. Malachy’s tiny body jumps in my arms, I frightened the poor baby. “Ssh, baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry,” I whisper as I sway from side to side.
“Let’s go sit in the sitting room, I can put him down in his moses basket.” I follow Grant out of the kitchen and the doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it, you put Malachy down,” Pen tells me quietly.
“There’s no point. Everyone is going to want to see him.” I close my eyes when his body tenses.
Pen smiles. “You go and take care of that.” She laughs. “That’s something I don’t miss.”
I bring Malachy to the spare bedroom that’s downstairs. I’ve made it so that I could change him while we’re not upstairs, with most of our time spent down here, it seemed to be the best thing to do. After lying him down on the changing mat, I reach for the nappies and wipes. From the other room, I can hear talking, in particular Stef’s excited voice. She’s been dying to see Malachy since he was born, but I managed to put her off until today.
I love her, I really do but since she found out I was pregnant, things between us have been strained. I’m not sure if it’s the way she kept bitching about Richie or that the first thing out of her mouth when she found out I was pregnant was, “That was stupid.”
I clean Malachy and change his nappy. His eyes are wide open as he looks up at me. “Hey handsome.” I smile as his little legs move at my voice. “I love you, Malachy.” I lift him up and kiss his chubby cheeks. “Are you ready to meet the madness?”
He makes a gurgling noise, and I laugh. “Yeah, I feel the exact same, but everyone is dying to meet you and we can’t let them down now, can we? You’re too precious to be hidden.”
I stand up with him safely tucked in my arms. As soon as we walk out of the bedroom we’re descended on by the women.
“The men went with Grant to the shop,” Pen says looking slightly uncomfortable.
“Yep, they thought it would be safer.” Katy smirks as she walks closer to me. “Congratulations Nat, you look amazing. So, do we get to meet the little guy or are you hiding him?”
I gently hand Malachy over to her and she gasps. “Oh, Nat, he’s beautiful.”
Both Stef and Jess go over and stand beside Katy and look at Malachy. “Nat, the name suits him so much. He’s such a little cutie. How are you?” Jess asks with a smile on her face.
“I’m good, I had a sleep this morning thanks to Pen and I’m refreshed. Taking it day by day, but we’re both settling in fine.” I love that she asked how I am and that there’s no awkwardness as I thought there would be, but I’m hurt that Stef hasn’t even said anything to me. Yet she takes Malachy off Katy. I’m fuming. So she’ll hold my baby but won’t bother with me.
“My turn,” Pen calls out. I’ve talked to her about what’s happening between us and she’s obviously caught what’s happened today. Pen holds Malachy and places a gentle kiss on his head.
“Let’s go into the sitting room, I can put Malachy down for a nap,” I say as I take him back from Pen and walk into the sitting room. My p
oor boy is being handed off to everyone. It’s time for him to have a little nap.
Chapter 23
I’ve just fed Malachy, and Grant’s holding him again. That man is so sweet with my baby boy, Penelope can barely keep her eyes off of the two of them. Everyone’s sitting around and chatting amongst themselves. I, on the other hand, am finally tucking into my pizza, though I’m still fuming, and Stef still hasn’t spoken to me. I’ve asked her a question and got blanked, so she can go fuck herself. Whatever her problem is, it’s her bloody problem.
I sit back and observe everyone. I never thought that I could be so uncomfortable in my own home, and yet here I am. I’m not sure if it’s because Stef and I aren’t talking or because there’s so many people in one room, many of whom I don’t really know that well. I want to take Malachy and run upstairs and hide away. This room is full, yet I’m lonely. They’re not here to visit me, they’re here to see my son.
Carter and Savannah are both fast asleep in their carry cots. Stef and Jess came prepared. They brought the buggy attachment for the babies, so they’d have somewhere to sleep. They also both seem to have the same buggy but in different colours, Stef’s is navy blue and Jess’ red. They look huge compared to Malachy; Carter’s six months old now, and Savannah is two months. They’re all close in age and it would be nice if they all got along.
I pick up the empty pizza boxes and clean up the sitting room. I bring everything into the kitchen including my half-eaten pizza. I need some space, a reprieve or something.
“Nat?”
My eyes close at that voice as I place my palms against the sink. God, what does she want? Turning around I face Stef, she’s standing in the doorway with her arms folded against her chest; her stance is one of defence. “Yeah?” I try to keep my voice even, not wanting to get into this, it’s not the bloody time.
“You’re mad at me, you’ve been off with me for a while now. Want to tell me what it is that I’ve done to piss you off?” She closes the kitchen door so we won’t be overheard.
“What you’re talking to me now? Stef you walk into my house and hold my son but can’t be arsed talking to me, not even a hello?” There’s a bite to my tone. She’s been out of order today; there was no need for it.
“That’s because you’ve been ignoring me. Nat, we’ve not spoken in weeks. Did I upset you?” She has tears in her eyes.
“I was pregnant and hormonal and all you would do is bitch about Richie. Hell, I told you I was pregnant and all you said was that was stupid. Not even congratulations, are you okay? Nope, just that was stupid. So yeah, it pissed me off and I was hurt. But you coming in here today and not even saying hello, that was bitchy.”
“God, I didn't mean to hurt you, Nat. Me and my bloody big mouth.” A lone tear rolls down her face and drips as she sits at the kitchen table.
“But Stef, it was all the time. You would always comment about Richie, about our relationship. You have no right to judge anyone’s relationship.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I immediately regret them. “Sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be, it’s true. I was upset that he hurt you, and I bitched about him. I judged you because I knew that if he walks back into your life, you’ll take him back in a heartbeat. I thought if I kept bad mouthing him you wouldn’t go back to him. You’re right, though. I have no room to judge anyone. The state of my relationship. I’m not sure if I can fully trust him, I’m still expecting him to lie to me.”
That’s not what I expected her to say. “Stef, I thought you had sorted through all your issues.”
She shrugs, her voice lowering to a whisper “We have, I still have doubts. He’s lied to me about important things and stupid things. I feel as though his first instinct is to lie.”
I reach out and take her hands, angry that I let things get this far. “I’m sorry for being distant. I should have been upfront and told you what was going on.”
She squeezes my hand. “No, I should have asked sooner, and I definitely shouldn’t have been a cow today. Malachy is beautiful babe, he looks like you.”
I’m not sure about that, I wouldn’t say so, I see a lot of Richie in him. I guess everyone sees something different. His eyes are green just like his dad’s, I’ve read that baby’s eye colour can change but I don’t want it to. Richie’s eyes were something that I loved, they were vibrant and expressive.
The doorbell rings, and I frown. Who the hell is calling at this time of the evening?
“I’ll get it!” Pen shouts, and Malachy cries out, probably frightened by her shout.
“I better check if he’s okay.”
Malachy cries out again, and I make my way to the sitting room and see Grant trying to settle him. I smile at them, but instinctively reach out for him. Grant obliges and passes him to me. He immediately quiets as I bring him to my chest.
“Um, Nat?” Pen’s voice is full of anger.
“Yeah?” I call out as I walk out of the sitting room, as soon as I round the corner and see who’s at the door, my pulse races and not in a good way. It’s as though my heart’s going to pound out of my chest. My arms tighten around Malachy because I’m worried I’m going to fall. My legs are like jelly.
“Nat are you okay?” Stef’s voice sounds far away but her hand is on my shoulder, it’s like I’m underwater, my ears are buzzing as I stare at the monster in front of me. “Nat?” Stef’s tone is full of worry.
“What are you doing here?” I’m surprised by the venom in my voice, the anger I have when I look at him, I’m transported back to when I was fourteen.
“Can’t I see my stepdaughter?” he sneers at me. He looks old, fragile, and close to death.
“You’ve seen me, now you can leave. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” I’m proud of myself. I thought about this moment a lot over the past four years, and I’ve always imagined I’d be strong and stand up to him, but I didn’t think it would happen, I thought I’d be a quivering wreck.
“Natalie, I didn’t come all this way to just turn around.” He coughs just as I hear movement behind me.
“I don’t give a shit why you came here. I honestly thought you’d be dead by now, with the cancer that’s eating away at you. Either way, you are to me. It’s time for you to leave.” I smirk at the fucker.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He pushes Penelope out of the way and starts to charge towards me.
“You put your hands on my fiancée. You’ve barged your way into my family’s home when you’ve been told to leave.” Grant’s angry voice vibrates through the house.
Fiancée? When the hell did that happen?
Malachy cries out, and I lift him to my face and give him a kiss. “It’s okay, baby. The mean old man is going now,” I tell him and give him another kiss.
“I’d leave if I were you. He’s a police detective, you wouldn’t want him digging into your past, would you?” I taunt him, enjoying the colour draining from his face.
“I have a grandchild? Can’t I see him?” He’s changed, gone is the anger he had when he barged past Penelope, he’s staring at Malachy and I hate it.
Grant steps in front of me, shielding us from my stepdad. Stef stands beside me, her hand around my shoulders. They’re protecting me.
“You son of a fucking bitch, don’t you dare talk to her!” Penelope shouts and I rock Malachy in my arms. “After everything you did to her! You were meant to protect her instead you were evil! You molested a girl who had just lost her mother, you molested a ten-year-old girl for years!”
I close my eyes as gasps come from Jess and Katy. Great, Pen’s so angry that she’s shouting out everything and not realising who’s around her.
“Not only that, you raped her. You made her flee her home, the home her mother made for her and she lived on the streets! You’re a monster and if there weren’t children present, I’d kill you!” She turns away from him and comes over to me, I instantly hand Malachy over to her.
“You’ve been asked to leave
, so leave.” Owen’s voice rumbles through the hall. And as one, Owen, James, Damien, Hunter, and Grant all descend on my stepdad. “It looks like you have a hearing problem. We’re going to see you out,” Owen tells him menacingly.
Arms go around me as the men drag my stepdad out of my house. “He’s gone now Nat, he’s never going to come back, they’re going to scare the shit out of him. He’d be stupid to even think of coming back. You’re not that little girl that he can hurt. You’ve turned into a beautiful, strong woman who has so many people that care about you. You’re not vulnerable and you showed him you’re not scared,” Stef tells me, tears raining down her face.
“Stef’s right Nat, you looked that arsehole in the face and showed him that you are in control not him,” Katy says proudly, a beautiful smile lighting up her face.
“He doesn’t control you anymore, Nat, you showed him who’s boss,” Jess tells me kissing my cheek. “I’m going to check on Savannah and Carter, you really don’t need to worry about him anymore. He won’t be coming back. The men will make sure of it.” She squeezes my arm and walks into the sitting room, Saffron following behind her.
“I’m going to check on Carter,” Stef says she too kissing my cheek.
“I’ll hold that gorgeous little boy and show him off to his friends,” Katy tells me as she reaches for Malachy, she’s doing it so Pen and I can talk.
“I’m so angry Natalie, he comes to your house and acts as though he’s a loving parent. I want to kill him.” She’s fuming, her hands shaking, her unshed tears are causing her eyes to look shiny. “I shouldn’t have said what I did out loud, I’m sorry.”
“I understand that you were angry, you never meant it. Thank you for sticking up for me. I’m thankful you lot were here when he turned up. I’m not sure what I would have done if I were alone.” The girls were right. I don’t think he’ll be back, not when I have so many people around me that care.
The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 20