Loved by a Soldier: A Military Romance Collection

by Alison Mello

  Poppy.

  Dear God,

  Today in group we spoke about forgiveness. About forgiving the people who may have led us to where we are today.

  How am I supposed to forgive them? How am I supposed to forgive the man who pinned me down and forced himself upon me? How am I supposed to forgive the girl who was supposed to be my sister, when she orchestrated it all?

  I am at a roadblock, Lord. I don’t know what to do. So, I am bringing this problem to you. I pray you give me a clear head and a forgiving heart. I pray you watch over me and help me walk in your light. And I pray, that when I see Stephanie again, that you will give me the strength needed to forgive her. Amen.

  Dear God,

  Rachel and Talen visited today. They told me that Reid is all right. Apparently he’s having a hard time, just as I am. Not being able to communicate with him is painful. I fear that he might harm himself, due to a clouded mind.

  Watch over him. He is your son. He is a good man, fighting for me and our country. Every step he takes, he does so with you in his thoughts. Protect him from the evil out there. Do not let this war taint his heart. He is a good man. Bring him home to me.

  And when he prays to you, reassure him that I love him. That I am fighting my own battle to become the woman worthy of him.

  Poppy.

  Dear God,

  I walked in the garden today. It’s beautiful…so many flowers of so many colors. And every one of them is different. None are the same.

  I was walking down a pathway until I stopped at a bench and stared down at a beautiful red rose. It sat there, amongst all the other roses and hydrangeas and chrysanthemums. And it was beautiful. So was every other flower…

  That’s what we are…we’re flowers in your garden. We’re all beautiful, because we were created in your image. We are all different, but still so much alike. Some may say the lily is more beautiful than the rose and vice versa, but you don’t see us that way. You smile down at us with pride for being able to bloom and blossom into the flowers that we are. You love us, no matter our color, shape, or gender.

  I forgive you, God.

  Poppy.

  Dear God,

  You may notice that I am writing in a new journal…for two reasons. One, because I am no longer at Linden Oaks. The second reason is…well…it seems I am rather fond of talking to you. So much so that I used up a year’s worth of paper in the span of a few months.

  This is my first day back at my apartment. Aragorn hasn’t left my side. He is firmly pressed against my legs as we speak. Thank you for giving me such an amazing dog. I surely don’t deserve him, but I love him all the same.

  I would like to say that Linden Oaks changed my life.

  But can I be honest with you? There was only one day that impacted me, and that was when Dr. Espinoza told me I shouldn’t write to my mother anymore. That’s the only day because, well, because I got to meet you. I got to write to the father I never knew I had and I am so grateful for it.

  I love you, Jesus. I love you so much. Thank you for setting Reid Holt aside for me. Thank you for loving me, even when it was I who had forsaken you.

  Poppy.

  Dear God,

  It happened today. And I don’t know how I did it…I couldn’t have done it without you. But I saw her. There was no way to avoid her…

  Would I have avoided her, if I could have? I’d like to believe that you wouldn’t have let me.

  But nonetheless, I met her face to face. She was stricken and she even looked remorseful. I thought I was going to have murderous thoughts running through my mind. I thought I was going to want to punch her in her perfect face. But instead, I embraced her.

  With your love boldly on my sleeve, I wrapped my arms around her…and I forgave her. I forgave Stephanie for everything.

  I know that without knowing you, I never would have been able to do that. I wouldn’t have cared for her feelings and her well-being. I would have sneered and walked away. But instead, I forgave her and offered assistance.

  I told her that if she ever needed someone to talk to, I would be available.

  So God, I pray for Stephanie. I pray you surround her with people who will lead her to you. And if it is my job to do so, then I ask that you set her in my path once more.

  Amen.

  Dear Dad,

  I have been thinking about this letter for a long time…ever since the night my mother was killed. I have conjured up so many thoughts. They have festered over the years and have put a damper on our relationship. I fear that I am going to lose you, without really having any time of having you.

  But I am no longer angry or hoarding painful memories. I have found God, and in doing so, I have learned how to forgive. So Dad, I forgive you.

  I forgive you for standing idle, and I forgive you for not being the father I needed. I forgive you for not showing more worry concerning the events with Gavin. I forgive you for not insisting I see a therapist, afterward. I love you, but I also need you to love me as well.

  I want a relationship with you. I want my children to know their grandfather. I want you to walk me down the aisle for my wedding…but I honestly don’t know if you will. You need to put in the effort to see me. You need to want to see me. I can no longer initiate all of our conversations and meetings. I am done chasing you. It’s time you began chasing me.

  I love you forever.

  Poppy.

  Chapter 26

  Return

  Poppy

  January 11, 2018

  “I would have socked her in the jaw,” Rachel mumbles, staring down at her cup of sugary coffee. Her chin is propped in her palm as Talen soothingly rubs her back.

  “Rachel…”

  “Oh, Talen, I would have! I would have strutted right up to her and knocked her teeth in!” I try to bite back a giggle as I drink my mint tea, leaning back in my chair as I watch Rachel throw her hysterias at Talen.

  His green eyes are slightly wide as he watches his wife, the woman he loves completely. No matter how crazy Rachel can be, I know Talen will never regret marrying her. They are so great together…practically the ideal couple.

  “Well, we’re lucky Stephanie didn’t wrong you, then.”

  “I wish she had…” Rachel says under her breath but I hear her. I reach across the table and place my hand over her own. Rachel meets my eyes and I raise my eyebrows.

  “You are a great friend to me, Rachel. And you have carried a lot of my burdens. Stephanie is no longer one either of us need to bear.”

  Rachel’s bright blue eyes water before she nods her head and sniffles. “You are a strong woman, Poppy Evans. Not many people have the strength to forgive.” I give her a small smile and lean back in my chair again.

  I have forgiven, but I will never forget. The relationship Stephanie and I should have had as step-sisters will never be formed. There will never be a relationship. The only person I seek to have a bond with is my father, but the letter I sent remains unanswered.

  I glance around the busy coffee shop and sigh, knowing I have to get back to work soon. The days have been dragging along lately. And there is only one reason why. Next Friday, a little over a week from now, I will be reunited with Reid. Every second feels like a minute and every minute feels like an hour.

  I have missed him.

  After my time at Linden Oaks, I was able to Skype Reid. He stayed on with me for hours. He fought sleep and listened to everything I had to say. I told him about my growing relationship with Christ and I could see the overwhelming joy it brought him. He always wanted me to have some sort of commitment to Christ, but I was in a bad place. I wasn’t open to sharing my heart with anyone other than Reid, the Holts, and Talen.

  But now, God has everything. He has my heart, my thoughts, my actions, my life…and because of this, I have found that I am able to love Reid with more conviction. More passion. The love I have for him is pure and godly, not selfish or all-consuming.

  Reid believed that God gave me to him t
o help shape Reid’s life…but the truth is that God gave me Reid to help reshape my life.

  And I am forever grateful…

  I stand, ready to get back to work. “You know, you guys don’t have to sit there and watch me all night. He’s not stupid enough to approach me in public,” I say, gathering my trash.

  Talen arches an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest. “We made a promise to Reid. I’m not breaking it, Poppy.” I smirk, holding my hands up in surrender before I place a kiss on the top of Rachel’s head and ruffle Talen’s hair. I walk back to the bar, where I toss my cup of tea away.

  I put on my apron and clock back in. Jake and Megan greet me as I step up to the bars and begin wiping them down. Megan rearranges the pastry case, taking any available dishes to the back to wash them. Jake continues to work on the drive-thru, and when he isn’t busy, he stocks all the fridges and cups.

  It’s crazy how much I love my job. It’s mostly because of the customers and the people I work with. There is hardly a time when I’m not smiling. It feels good to ask customers about their day and listen as they describe in fine detail how they couldn’t decide between Honey Nut Cheerios and Honey Bunches of Oats.

  Some people are all alone and the small interactions they have with baristas, bank tellers, and store clerks are all they have. It’s best to make the small conversations just a little bit bigger.

  “Poppy, do you think it would be possible for me to leave a little early? My mom’s car is in the shop and she won’t be able to pick my sister up from rehearsal,” Jake says, walking up to me from the drive-thru. I peek over my shoulder at him, meeting his eyes. They are pleading.

  Jake has never been one to ask to leave early, so I really don’t have a problem with it. “Sure, as long as everything is done and we’re not busy.” I give him a soft smile.

  Jake begins working in double-time, making sure that all the closing procedures are as close to done as they can be.

  I chuckle, watching as he works with purpose, working on the second bar.

  “Excuse me, miss. Can I get a—”

  I politely cut the man off. “Oh, come down to the register and I’ll take your order in just a moment.” I toss the rag into the bucket and internally laugh. Don’t people know to order at the registers?

  I wash my hands quickly and grab a few paper towels. I dry my hands, turning to take the order of the man in front of me.

  I stop cold, the wad of paper towels falling to the floor as I stare. The bright blue eyes that are staring into my own are glimmering with happiness and love. I let out a choked sob, my hand coming up to cover my mouth as I shake my head.

  “This isn’t real…” I whisper, walking forward to reach across the counter to softly caress his cheek.

  Reid places his hand on top of my own and lets out a throaty chuckle. “I’m real.”

  I quickly withdraw my hand and run around the counter. Reid stands there in his uniform with his arms open wide for me. I don’t hesitate to jump in them, my legs wrapping around his waist as I cling to him. Tears roll down my cheeks as I bury my face into his neck. Reid holds me tightly, running a hand over my ponytail and down to my back.

  My heart is filled with so much love that I feel as if I am going to combust. I drop my legs from his waist and move back a few inches so Reid can tenderly cup my cheeks as he places the first of many kisses. We have a lot to make up for.

  “Welcome home,” I say, stepping back to shake my head up at him. “You’re early.”

  “Nope. He’s right on time. We wanted to surprise you,” Rachel speaks up, walking toward us with her phone in her hand. My eyes zero in on it, knowing there’s a video of us saved in the files.

  “You guys planned this?” I ask. Reid reaches over to brush away my tears with his thumb, smiling down at me.

  I can’t believe he’s here, standing before me…the man I am going to marry.

  He looks so happy, the smile on his face reaching his eyes. And he just watches me, making up for all the time lost. I cross my arms over my chest and turn so I am facing him. My eyes travel up and down his body, taking in every inch of him.

  He looks to be the same…a little bit tanner, a little bit brawnier, but just as handsome and gentle. The time spent overseas did not change him. God had answered my prayers, salvaging his heart from the cruelties of war. There is no pain within his eyes. They only hold light and love.

  God’s light and love.

  I step toward him, still waiting for Reid to vanish into thin air. Instead, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to place a kiss on the top of my head.

  I hum in happiness, my heart full. I close my eyes and bury my nose into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent.

  I’ve missed his smell of subtle cologne and earth. A very masculine combination.

  Reid gives me one last squeeze before he gently pushes me back. “You need to get back to work, Poppy. I’ll be sitting at our booth, and when you’re done, I’m going to take you home,” Reid says. I smile, nodding my head.

  I’m glad he wasn’t going to leave, that he’s going to wait for me to close up shop. We’ve been apart long enough.

  I give him one last kiss before I return to work, getting a few cat-calls from Jake and Megan.

  ***

  Reid shuts the door to his truck before he jogs over to meet me by my SUV. I smile up at him, grabbing his hand in my own.

  After work, Reid followed me in his truck to my apartment, considering we both drove separately to Starbucks.

  I lead him up to my apartment, where he is nearly tackled to the ground by Aragorn. The dog greets his companion, having missed him while he was away. Reid gives Aragorn a few pats on the side before he lifts his eyes to mine.

  They are so blue and vibrant, full of all the emotions in his heart. Reid cracks a crooked smile before he takes a large step toward me and scoops me up in his arms. I let out a squeal, laughing as my fiancé takes me to my bedroom. He tosses me onto the bed and doesn’t hesitate to pounce, pinning me underneath him.

  I look at him with wide eyes as he rests on his forearms and sinks down, his large body a warm weight on my own. His head ducks down so it is buried in the crook of my neck. He lies like that for a moment and I begin to understand what is happening.

  After all this time, Reid is finally able to show his determination to protect me. His body atop of mine acts as a shield to the world around us. I lie in his arms, small and fragile, yet he supports his weight to keep from crushing me. He buries his face into my neck as a comfort, to remind me that he is always there.

  Reid continues to lie over me, giving himself some comfort too, I’m sure. He was so close to losing me, and I know that took a toll on him. So to just have me here, in his embrace, is reassuring him.

  I run my hands up and down his back, softly soothing him. His taut muscles begin to relax under my touch and he lifts his head to look down at me with soft eyes.

  “I love you so much, Poppy Evans.” His words bring a small smile to my lips. I reach up to give him a gentle kiss before sinking back into the mattress. Reid rests his forehead against my own. I gather the material of his shirt into fists, not wanting to let him go.

  “I love you too, soldier. Welcome home.” Reid chuckles, rolling onto his side and quickly gathering me into his strong arms. He holds me in a vise grip, our legs tangling together, his hands running up and down my back while I press my face into his chest.

  I feel so safe in his embrace.

  “I was thinking May 12th,” I softly whisper. Reid pulls back slightly to look down in my eyes. He looks confused, so I elaborate. “For the wedding.”

  “Why May 12th?” Reid asks. I stare at the man I love so much, feeling my bottom lip tremble as I prepare to give him my answer.

  “That was the day you told me you saw me. And that was the day that changed my life.” Reid’s eyebrows come together out of habit to keep his eyes from tearing up.

  Reid clutches the hair a
t the back of my neck and kisses me with earnest. I quickly accommodate him, keeping up with his fervor.

  When he pulls away, he nods his head. “That’s the date, sweetheart.”

  Chapter 27

  Memories

  Reid

  May 12, 2018

  “I knew it. I told you, didn’t I?” I growl over at Talen, running a hand through my short hair. I pace the length of the room, my other hand shoved into the pocket of my pants.

  Talen chuckles, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “Yes…yes, you did.” I glower at him.

  Over a year ago, when I was Talen’s best man, I told him that one day he’d have to encourage me while I pace back and forth…just as I had done for him. But it seems he’s doing a crap job, for he’s rather enjoying my uneasiness.

  My palms get all sweaty and my heart begins to beat impossibly fast. I didn’t think a heart could beat so fast…but it can, because mine is!

  I look over at Talen with a frenzied expression. “What if she thinks this is a mistake and leaves me at the altar?”

  Talen seems to finally step out of his relaxed state. He walks over to grab onto my shoulders and look me dead in the eye. “Reid, a blind and deaf person would be able to understand the love you and Poppy have for one another. It literally snuffs out the air in the room, it is nearly tangible. So shut up. Forget about this stupid fear and think about how beautiful your bride is going to be.” Talen rolls his eyes. “But I understand. I wish I could go back and slap my younger self. It was stupid to ever doubt the love Rachel and I have. Don’t follow after me, brother.”

  I take a deep breath and nod my head.

  He is completely right. And I know he is. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Poppy loves me. She tells me every day and I yearn for the words. It must be the high stress of this day finally bearing down on me. I fear she will resort back into her old shell and shy away from the spotlight.