Loved by a Soldier: A Military Romance Collection

by Alison Mello

  The void between the two was broken by their waitperson. “Everything okay with the food?” He grinned, sensing the tension at the table.

  “Yes, thanks,” Zachary replied, feeling a bit discouraged. Perhaps he’d revealed too much too soon, but he was also pleased he did. If she decided not to see him again, he would rather live with the truth than nurse a lie.

  “I understand if this is too much for you to process,” he said.

  “No, it’s not. I am in no position to judge you. You are working on fixing the issues in your life, and that must count for something. We all deserve a second chance.” After a brief pause, she asked, “Any chance you will reconcile with your wife?”

  He delayed an inordinate time before answering the question. “No. I believe that ship has sailed.”

  Courtney picked up on the affection he held for his wife when he spoke about her. He very much loved her, and that was evident. He was hurting. He might just be using her to compensate for the loss, just as she was using him.

  “You want to tell me a little about what you have going on?” he asked.

  “I lost my parents at a young age. I was raised through the foster care system, from one home to another. Then I was fortunate enough to meet my husband, who took care of me. Just like everything else in my life, things didn’t go as planned. I’m working on getting back on my feet and moving on to the next chapter of my life.” Courtney tensely took a sip of her iced tea.

  Sensing her deliberate attempt to hide the reasons behind her psychotherapy, Zachary scowled, exposing his displeasure.

  Courtney drew back, unable to meet his eyes. “Trust does not come easily for me, Zachary. I have been burned too many times, and it will take time for me to fully open up to you. I hope you understand.”

  “Well, not quite what I expected, but I understand. I’m sorry about your parents. How did it happen?”

  “Car accident.” Just like always, her voice stiffened anytime she was forced to recall that painful memory.

  “You had no one to take care of you?”

  “Only child. Mom had a sister, but she was not interested in taking me in. She was more concerned about her three kids and second husband.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “I know.”

  “We should change the topic of discussion to a lighter subject, if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t disagree. Up for a walk? The night is beautiful, and the weather is nice.”

  Courtney grinned. “I’m in.”

  ***

  They weren’t the only couple making the most of the evening. They weaved through a group of strollers chatting loudly along the way. Courtney sucked in a deep breath, taking pleasure in the squeaky clean air. Zachary led her to a deserted street and stopped before a wall. He nodded to it, turning her attention to a beautiful, colorful graffiti scene that covered a large fraction of the wall. Her eyes sparkled in admiration as it followed each stroke. Zachary’s lips twisted into a wry grin, enjoying the joy she expressed.

  “This is phenomenal,” she whispered, tracing the strokes with her fingers.

  “I saw this earlier today, and I knew you’d like it.”

  She took a step back so she was standing beside him. Courtney trained her eyes on him with the intention of showing her appreciation with a platonic gesture, but the gleam in his eyes stirred something unexpected in her. A feeling she never knew existed. It was strange yet at the same time thrilling. Not even with William, her so-called first true love. This was different. It was heavenly, refreshing, and stimulating. No doubt he delighted in it too, but he had known from the moment he set eyes on her that it was special. His dream only confirmed it.

  His animosity toward life had dissipated since she’d walked into his life. He believed they were meant to be in each other’s lives, but in what capacity? The warmth from her proximity stunned him. Without any more reservations, he turned his body to face her and leaned in. His lips touched hers in a gentle kiss. It was tender and consoling in ways neither could comprehend. Courtney’s hands automatically fell around his neck, and she allowed herself to drown in the moment as his hands caressed her back. For once, Courtney’s mind remained in the present. No thoughts of the past or the future. She embraced the moment wholly, enthralled until he pulled away. She opened her eyes to meet his.

  “Thank you,” Zachary said.

  “What for?” she murmured.

  “You’ve done more for me than you know. I am confident you’ll understand one day.”

  He stepped back and extended his hand. Courtney placed hers in his. Strolling back to the restaurant, she had the need to reveal more about her life, her past, to him but resisted, although her guilt tormented her.

  “Can I drop you off at home now?” he asked.

  “No. I’ll get a cab.”

  “Why?”

  “Nothing personal. I’m just not ready.”

  “I’m not asking for a nightcap, Courtney. I just want to get you home safely.”

  “I know, but I’d prefer to take a cab.”

  “Do you live with your soon to be ex-husband or something?”

  “What? No, why’d you think that?”

  Zachary shrugged. Shame crept through Courtney’s nerves, but she was not ready to reveal that side of her, that she was indeed homeless and destitute.

  CHAPTER 10

  Problems could become opportunities when the right people come together.

  ~Robert South

  Zachary sat on Dr. Clark’s couch, observing her intently as she prepared for their session. She had to rush him in after her last client ran into his time.

  She sat and met his stoic gaze. “You seem different,” she observed.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You are not your usual self. I have been your doctor for a while now. I think I know my patient.”

  “The group counseling you recommended helps, I guess.”

  Dr. Clark crossed her legs, picked up her notepad, and flipped to a new page. “How are you coping with the divorce proceedings?”

  “What do you think?”

  “The last time we spoke on this topic, you were broken about it and refused to go along with it. Is that the current situation?”

  “No, I gave her all she asked for in exchange for shared custody of the kids,” Zachary replied. “I have yet to sign the divorce agreement.”

  “Hmm,” Dr. Clark sighed. “Do you feel the need to work things out with her?”

  Zachary averted his eyes peevishly. The question never crossed his mind since Courtney. “I met someone.”

  Dr. Clark gaped at him, her glasses sitting at the bridge of her nose. “You what?”

  He simply shrugged and dropped his head low.

  “Don’t you think it’s too soon? I mean, you are working on yourself right now, and the last thing you need is a temporary distraction.”

  “Temporary?” he asked with a frown.

  Dr. Clark tilted her head to the side to make direct eye contact. “Until you get back on your feet in terms of your mental state, the custody hearings, and don’t forget you are still technically married to Alison, it is just not a good time to entertain any diversions. Does she know your story? How did you meet?”

  “I am not an idiot. I’m not ready to go into all those details with you. I don’t know if it’d be short-lived or long term, but one thing I do know is how she makes me feel. I intend on savoring it for as long as it lasts. She’s different. She’s been through a lot herself. She has scars, character, she’s kind, and a survivor. If anyone understands what I am going through, it’s her.”

  “All right,” Dr. Clark said, drawing in a deep breath.

  His mind drifting back to the evening he and Courtney had shared. Back to their kiss, a moment of incandescent intensity. He couldn’t deny it. It was evident in his expression, in his moods, and in his attitude.

  “She’s an artist,” he elucidated. “She uses her life’s experiences to construct char
ismatic pieces from her heart. Her skill is impeccable, and she expresses her passion through her art.” He paused, pride rising from his chest as he praised her. “We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks, and I get that you don’t understand my dedication. Truthfully, I cannot explain it myself. This is beyond my control. There’s something about her that draws me in, spiritually and physically.”

  “She sounds wonderful,” Dr. Clark said but remained indifferent to his reasoning.

  “She is.”

  “It does explain your recent positive outlook on life. I suggest you take it slow. Any mishaps and we’ll find ourselves back where we began.”

  Zachary leaned into his seat and ran his hand through his hair. Courtney’s uptightness troubled him, and that was disheartening, especially when he presented his demons to her. Yet he greatly wanted to protect her like it was an order he had to follow. Why wouldn’t she let him in? His brooding deepened. He wasn’t going to reveal her enigmatic side to Dr. Clark, the fact that she was going through a divorce, or that they met at the counseling center. Any negative remarks would be enough to throw him off the ledge.

  ***

  The herby aroma sent flutters to Courtney’s tummy, though at the same time uncertainty lingered. The extended flower garden she could see through the window of her potential studio apartment brought back both happy and bitter memories. She missed her garden. It served as her sanctuary, away from the chaos in her life. This environment was completely different from what she had grown accustomed to. It was claustrophobic. Upon entering the building, she weaved through a crowd of professionals, students, hawkers, and a few questionable characters. Despite the chaos, it felt alive. Infinite rows of shops and houses extended away on both sides. The realtor assured her it was the best place she could get on her budget. Even so, she was ecstatic for the privacy.

  She’d sold two paintings at the Albert Perreault Gallery courtesy of Monsieur Rousseau. It happened so fast she could not believe it. The night was enchanting. She had the opportunity to meet new artists and a few connoisseurs of the craft. A mystery buyer purchased both of her creations on display, insisting his identity be withheld. Albert, the owner, assured her it was a norm in their world.

  “They are called the anonymous collectors. Mostly for security reasons,” he’d explained to her.

  As promised, Monsieur Rousseau had taken her under his wing. She sat with him twice weekly while she worked on her next piece. Life was finally looking up. She maintained her day job as a waitress while she worked on her passion. If she sold the next piece as fast as she sold the first two, she could hopefully afford a good lawyer to handle her divorce from William. His absence, though, was baffling. The last correspondence was a hostile email, which was always the case with him. He appeared to have retreated, which was oddly unlike him. He was up to something, and that kept her up at night.

  “I’ll take it,” she said to the realtor.

  “You are certain?”

  “It’s not much, but there’s enough room for my paintings.”

  He was pleased with her response. “I’m glad. Come on by the office on your way out first thing tomorrow morning to get the process started.”

  “That works.”

  ***

  Courtney proudly placed her canvas on the stand positioned by the window. Rays of sunlight shone through the windows, reflecting against the walls and projecting beautiful patterns across the spacious room. She sat by the window and rested her head on the shutters with her eyes closed. She was steadily settling into her new home. An achievement she’d accomplished on her own. She sat up and started arranging her brushes while the sun dropped behind the clouds. A knock on the door had her on her feet, straightening up her hair and outfit. She wore a simple yet provocative light blue shirt dress, falling off her shoulders. She sighed before twisting the doorknob.

  “Hi,” Zachary said, his voice low and husky.

  She stepped back, allowing him to enter. He glanced around at the open floor space and returned his focus back to her. “Finally.”

  “It’s a new place. I just moved in this week.”

  “I see.” He wondered where she had lived before and why she continued to keep that a secret. Was she living with her estranged husband?

  He leaned in and pressed his lips to her temple, the moment lasting longer than he’d intended.

  “You sure you don’t want to go out for dinner?” he asked.

  “I prefer ordering in tonight,” she said with a grin. “Are you not comfortable being alone with me? I promise I won’t take advantage of your vulnerability.”

  “Funny.”

  “I promise, you are safe with me.”

  He pulled her in for another kiss. To Courtney’s surprise, his hand wandered to her hip and remained there. She took in a sharp breath and rested her head on his firm, broad chest. She tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss, transmitting unspoken desires that had too long been suppressed. She yearned for more, and so did he. Their hearts couldn’t deny what their bodies sought. Her newly found independence and bliss motivated her to let him in on her previous struggles and fears. He deserved that much.

  The warmth of his body pressed firmly against hers, and she couldn’t help but relish in the moment…and how his hips were pushed up against hers. She couldn’t ignore the heat that rose swiftly through her body in response when they unexpectedly found themselves in her bed. It was as though they lost a good measure of time. Their hands trembled as they undressed each other. His hands roamed possessively over her body as he locked eyes with her.

  “We shouldn’t,” Courtney whispered, resisting the urge to give him a piece of her.

  He stopped moving but kept his eyes trained on hers, searching for any signs of regret. He tried to move away from her, but her words contradicted her actions when she gripped his wrist firmly, keeping him in place.

  “We should,” she murmured.

  He kissed her with the strength and confidence of a man who knew what he had. The last time a man touched her, it wasn’t with this much passion. It was forced and violent. She’d forgotten what it was like to be made love to. To be held like she mattered, to be adored. Zachary gave her that. They made passionate love like they had only one chance to get it right.

  It was exactly how she dreamed it. Celestial.

  Their eyes stayed fixed on each other as his fingers ran through her silky hair.

  “You are beautiful,” he admitted, and she radiated. He placed his hands on her cheeks, and she rested her temple on his, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them to meet his gaze again, they were filled with tears.

  “What’s wrong?” Panic and worry creased his brows.

  “I was in an abusive relationship.”

  Zachary jerked his hand away. “What?”

  She stared into his dark eyes, swallowing a bitter lump burning her throat. The thought of being judged and treated differently by him troubled her, which was the exact reason it had taken her this long to tell him her truth.

  “Our best years were lived in Hell,” she said, nervously forging ahead. “We never made love. He was either hitting me, slamming me against the wall, dragging me on the floor, or raping me. His family despised me. I failed to produce any children for him. Logically, his hatred for me was due to the fact that he went against his family to be with me, then ended up despising me for it. A day did not go by without a fresh bruise on my body and—”

  “Courtney,” Zachary interrupted. A deep frown distorted his handsome face. He sat up on the bed, revealing his naked torso.

  “Let me finish, Zachary.” Courtney slipped out of the bed and turned her back to him to show him her old bruises and scars, then faced him. His face was drained of color, his expression grim. Though she stood before him completely naked, she did not care. This was her. She was baring her soul to him, permitting him to see all the ugly things she’d endured.

  “It took a lot from me to open up
to you. He had total control over me, my mind and body. I was his slave.” She chuckled painfully. “I ate what he told me and only wore clothes he approved of. I remember the relief I used to have anytime I was given permission to do something as simple as breathing. For years, I had no idea what living as a decent independent person was. I did not have any friends or family. The few friends I made along the way amounted to nothing since I was not allowed to mingle with the ‘unrefined’ folks from my past. Before I met my husband, I was abused in the foster care system.” She sniffled, fighting back waves of tears. In a croaky voice, she went on. “I was raped and beaten by a man who was supposed to protect me. All I have known is cruelty. Then life gave me a break when I met William. He was perfect. He showed me kindness, and for the first time, I experienced love, before he turned on me a year after we got married. The reason I hid where I was living from you is because I was basically homeless, living at a battered women’s shelter. I was too embarrassed to have you see that side of me. I didn’t want to lose the admiration and respect in your eyes when you…”

  She turned. She could not stand the pity that filled his eyes. His warmth had dissipated. The room was cold and desolate. There was an obvious gap between them, and it hurt her to imagine what he thought of her now. The dishonorable woman, used, broken, and unworthy.

  “Courtney, I sat across from you and told you I mistreated my wife, not just emotionally but physically,” Zachary said incredulously. “My God, and you sat there, listening to the monster that could easily have been William. Yet you stayed with me. I am sorry, Courtney. I feel utterly helpless. No woman deserves to go through what you did. I feel like I contributed to the problem.”

  She sat down, moving closer to him. When their fingers touched, she leaned in so her forehead rested on his. They sat, frozen, feeling their warm breaths graze each other’s faces.