STEALING IT

by Robinson, Rachel

  Saving Kendall wasn’t enough. I am of the most elite class of individuals—so few can compete at my level. Not even professional athletes, and yet I couldn’t save Magnolia. No one would ever dare ask me out loud. But I see the questions in their eyes. You couldn’t save them both? Why didn’t you save them both? Why didn’t you take Magnolia out of the shop and go back in for Kendall? You’re a SEAL. You could have saved them both. Why? Why? I won’t say it was impossible, because if I had been on time, I could have had them out of there in no time flat. Blaming Polly got me nowhere. Blaming Leo didn’t either. The string of decisions and choices led me there, at that time, that fateful night and we live with the consequences of our actions. Sometimes the consequences are far more severe than you’d expect. I’m used to life or death scenarios. This death takes away my breath and I’m still waiting to get it back.

  Everyone filters up to pay their last respects, filing into line in the center aisle. The same aisle used almost every Saturday in the summer for a white wedding. My feet feel like lead as I cut the same path as those before me. When it’s my turn, the pastor smiles at me. “Thank you for your service, son. The world is better because you’re in it.”

  My throat, which still aches when I swallow too much food, clogs with emotion. I shake his hand and nod instead of giving a verbal response. Faulty electrical wiring caused the fire. The window display was connected to an outlet that isn’t typically used, and the heavy load was too much for the bad wire job. There is nothing left of Magnolia’s Steals but for a pile of black ashes. The charred remnants are a painful reminder of everything Bronze Bay has lost.

  There is a line of her crew to the right of the casket and I shake hands with each and every firefighter in her unit. The unit that arrived on the scene of the fire at the same time I saved Kendall. The woman, Andrea Sinclair, the hero I couldn’t be, saved Magnolia Sager and perished in the fire. A support beam fell directly on her head moments after she brought Magnolia to safety. It was tragic and…it was my fault. I should have gotten Magnolia out of there before the beam fell on her.

  “Thank you so much,” I whisper, my voice a crackling, harsh grate. There was nothing from that night I remember after I collapsed, desperate for oxygen. These men and women before me took over. Truly saved the day…and Magnolia’s life.

  The last firefighter nods and shakes my hand, his face a grim representation of what he’s lost. Gazing back at the coffin draped in the American flag, I’m struck with the memories of all the funerals I’ve attended in the past. Funerals for my brothers at arms. Deaths at the hands of bad guys, accidents, cancer, stray bullets in training, and explosions. Years and years of mortality that grind on my heart and steal my breath. This is no different. I thank Andrea once more, under my breath, for saving my heart, and then leave the church through the side door.

  The attendees are mingling, sharing memories of The Bronze Bay Fire Department crew, friends and family passing happy memories of the fallen hero. I gravitate toward my men, the ones in the same uniform as me, and fall into conversation. They pat my shoulder and try their hardest to give just the right amount of empathy tinged with humor. Not too much because then they’ll make me feel bad, too little and they’re fucking jerks. SEALs are known for their chameleon personalities. We’re almost psychopaths. The key word being almost. We are charismatic, type A, alluring, perfectionists. We zone in on things that interest us and we obsess. We are cutthroat in competition, can file away emotion like a mundane, everyday chore. It’s borderline only because we don’t possess the bad qualities true psychopaths harness. Needless to say, our condolences don’t sound the same as most other people’s.

  I check my watch. Only one hour until visiting hours begin at the hospital. One more hour until I can sit by Magnolia’s bed. Hold her hand and try not to cry in relief that she’s still breathing. Her recovery is slow moving due to the fact she broke both her legs and was unconscious for a long period of time. She will be okay. She will be okay.

  A hand clamps on my shoulder from the back. “Hey, man. I’m glad she’s going to be okay. They just told me she’s going to start walking soon,” Leo says, hiking his thumb to another group of SEALs. My blood begins pumping when I see Leo. It’s hard to separate facts when there’s so much fury flowing in my body. I’m angry mostly at myself, but Leo comes in a close motherfucking second. “I’m sorry about everything.”

  I swallow hard. “I don’t want to get into this with you. Don’t apologize.”

  He holds up his palms. Scared I’m going to throw a punch. Again. “I would never want to hurt them. Either of them. You have to know that.” I know that. The cause of the fire was one of the first things I asked about at the earliest opportunity.

  “Could have fooled me, man. What did you think it would do to Magnolia to move in on her daughter? To break up her relationship? Both things are pretty hurtful. Although your definition of fucked up might be different than mine.”

  “Polly asked me where you went and I told her. I’m telling you, man. I didn’t send her there. That time it wasn’t malicious.”

  That time. This guy is such a douchebag. “Whatever, man. You’re moving to Harbour Point and I’ll never have to look at your face again.”

  Leo shifts on his feet, uneasy, his gaze darting away. “Out with it, prick. What else could you possibly have to say?” My tone is sharp, but I’m careful to keep the words just between us. “I have to go.”

  He licks his lips. “Kendall,” he says, finally looking in my direction. “I, ah, really like her…as a friend.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “Are you hoping for my blessings, because they ain’t coming. Not ever. Not even when she is old enough to make those decisions on her own. Over my dead body.”

  “It won’t be your choice soon,” he says. “I am only two years older than her. You’re being irrational.”

  I clear my throat and wonder why I didn’t break his nose again when he opened his mouth. That’s right. I’m at church. “There’s no such thing as irrational. Only your ability to understand my rationale. I don’t care about the age difference. You’re a prick and I’ll never trust you.”

  “We’re just friends, man. That’s it. I wanted to see her once more before I leave for Cape Cod.” Leo glances somewhere over my left shoulder, and my gaze immediately follows. Kendall is hugging the pastor and pulls back to talk to the pastor’s wife.

  “You’re seeing her right now, aren’t you? Get the fuck out of my face,” I growl, rubbing my knuckles across my mouth. “Make yourself scarce, man. That goes for me and mine.”

  Leo grabs the back of his neck and rubs furiously. “At first I wanted to piss you off. I admit it. I saw Kendall down at the beach after you told me to stay away from Magnolia. The reason I first spoke with her was be an ass, but I ended up enjoying…her company. Someone to talk to that wasn’t someone I worked with or was trying to fuck.” I step toward him, but he holds up his hand. “Just listen.” I should clock him and leave him for dead, my breaths come quicker. “She talked to me and asked for advice. I gave it.”

  “Yeah, fucker you told her to lie and break up a relationship. Some friend you are. You really are on the same wavelength as a kid, aren’t you?”

  He swallows hard. “I’m telling you it’s platonic. I swear. I’m sorry for everything. Truly.”

  I tell him he should have found a friend his own age, someone outside of my territory, trying to be as rational and church-like as I can possibly manage to be as infuriated as I am. Leo nods as I throw him truth bombs and he apologizes once more before I’ve had enough.

  I take a few steps back without breaking his gaze and walk up to Kendall, putting my arm around her to guide her to the car. The conversation with Leo has me shaken. He had the ability to destroy my life once, I hope he doesn’t do it again because I’ve pissed him off. Time is on my side. He’ll be gone soon. Good riddance. If I never see that fucker again it won’t be too soon.

  The ride to
the hospital is crisp with the windows down. Kendall remains quiet, leaning her elbow against the open window, hanging her head halfway out. She reaches out to turn the volume down on the radio and rolls her window up. I follow suit. “Thanks for being here for me right now,” she says. “This whole situation is awful, and you and Jenny are the only things that have made not having my mom bearable.” It’s only been a few days and several car rides to and from school. I’d do far more for her. “Especially because I was wrong about you.”

  I run a hand through my hair and focus on the road in front of me. “You were given wrong information. It’s fine.” I’ve dreaded this conversation. Not because I don’t want to have it, because I’m not sure how to tackle it—the appropriate thing to say, or how to talk about my feelings.

  “It’s not. I made my own mother miserable because I thought you were going to leave,” Kendall says, looking at the side of my face. “Not only did you not leave, but you also proved just how much you wanted to stay.” Her voice catches. “You saved my life, Aidan. I never should have believed those things he told me.” She looks forward and I see her cross her arms on her chest. “I’ll never talk to him again because of it.” Thank fuck, I think. “I’m so used to shitty things happening that when faced with something good and honest, I don’t want to believe it. She deserves it, though. My mom deserves a loyal man. I’m sorry I’m rambling on. I’m just sorry. For everything. The funeral got to me and seeing Andrea’s family twisted me in knots.”

  “Me too, kid. Me too. You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere. I’ll always be around,” I say. It’s a stiff promise that shocks me to the core. I won’t break it, though. “I may have trips or a deployment here or there, but I’m going to stay.” I turn to meet Kendall’s eye and she smiles. “Be there for you and your mom.”

  The smile falls quickly. “My dad will be here by now. He called and told me he wanted to visit after the fire. I told him to stay away because I didn’t want to see him. Jenny said he called her and told her he was coming anyways regardless of what I want. Not really sure what to expect. Figured you might want to know.” She shrugs as I pull into the parking lot.

  “Are you okay with that? With seeing him? Your mom told me everything so let me know if you want me to run interference or whatever,” I reply, turning off the engine.

  “It’s time. We’re all starting over. I feel good. Mom though. I hope she’s okay seeing him. With her.” Kendall closes her eyes tightly.

  “Don’t worry about your mom,” I say because I think it’s what Magnolia would say. “Let me worry about her, okay? You focus on you.” I knew going into this I was going to have to talk to Paul. This scenario probably isn’t the best, and I haven’t had time to think of exactly what I’d like to say to him, but Kendall is right. This is as good a time as ever. “We’ll get through this.”

  Kendall looks appreciative as we walk into the cold, sterile building and sign in at the visitor’s desk. I garner oogling looks as I’m in my uniform, but I ignore them as best I can. We get to Magnolia’s room and I’m not sure what to expect so I set a reassuring arm on Kendall’s shoulder. “You’re okay, kid. You got this.” I give her a pat.

  She leans into the embrace as we open the door. “Thanks, Aidan. I’m sorry again,” she says, looking up to meet my gaze. Amends have been made and it feels good. It feels official. Like nothing can stand in my way. Smooth sailing from here on out. Paul’s gray gaze is scorching as I walk into the room with Kendall.

  “What the hell is he doing here? In uniform to boot. Here to finish her off, soldier?” Paul snarls, looking back to the bed where Magnolia is sitting up, face flustered—red. From crying. I twitch as his intonation grates when he calls me the wrong label. “Get over here, Kendall Sager. That guy is bad news.” Paul waves, trying to get his daughter away from me. Something my childhood did prepare me for was dealing with two douchebags in the same day without breaking a sweat.

  I furrow my brow. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before,” I say. “Not sure I’m bad news either.” The smile Magnolia loves is the one I flash at Paul.

  “This is Aidan, Dad. The guy who pulled me from a flaming building,” Kendall drawls, slowly, like she’s talking to someone who is hard of hearing. “Nice to see you, too. Some greeting after all this time.” Her grip tightens on my arm. Magnolia looks relieved to see me. Or Kendall. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. Ignoring Paul’s next insult, I walk toward the bed in the corner and take my place in the armchair.

  Kendall sits on the bed and kisses Magnolia on the forehead. “I’m sorry. We left as soon as we could after the funeral. I wanted to be here before he got here. Didn’t work out that way. I’m so sorry.”

  Magnolia scoffs, smiling. “Please, I’m a pro at dealing with your father. I’m just sorry I couldn’t make Andrea’s funeral.” Her smirk falls and is swiftly replaced by sorrow. I lay a hand on her arm. “Paul stop pacing,” Magnolia says, exasperated. “Coming here was a mistake if you only want to argue. We don’t want to. Don’t have the energy to either.” The harrowing circles under Magnolia’s eyes add the believability to her request.

  “I didn’t fight you when you wanted to move here with Kendall, Maggie. Figured it would be best for a change of scenery but I can’t accept this.” He gestures to me, grimacing. “You traipsing around with all of these men, almost getting yourself killed, putting our daughter in danger.” Paul stops to stand at the end of the bed. He glares at us. All three of us. A united front. He shakes his head and anger abates to make way for pain—a displaced sense of betrayal.

  Magnolia lets out a long breath I can tell rattles her chest. “Accidents happen. We’re fine. As you can clearly see. Don’t be dramatic. We love our life in Bronze Bay.”

  “We do,” Kendall chimes in. It’s very obvious that seeing her father isn’t comfortable. I bet she’s envisioning what she walked in on. I hate that she has to bear that, but I’m glad that Paul seems to realize this fact, too. Fucking asshole. “We are happy here. Mom’s going to get better and we’re going to go back to living it.”

  “No,” Paul says, hands on hips. “You’re coming back with me, Kendall. I’ve been too lenient. I should have forced my hand earlier. It doesn’t matter what you saw or how you feel. I’m your father. You’ll live half the year with me and the other half with your mother. I’ll let you finish out this school year, but this summer you’re moving back home.”

  Kendall laughs. “I’d never.”

  Paul glares at Magnolia. “I’ll take you to court. I’ll drag it out. Make it expensive and painful. You know I’m right. The girl needs her father.”

  Her face wilts. “One, I have more money than you. Two, you’d really do that to us? Knowing it’s not what she wants? She’ll be eighteen soon, Paul. Remember? It’s not even worth the effort. She’s not a little girl who wants to stand on your shoes while dancing in the living room. Those days are gone. I don’t want to fight you, but I’d think after all these years you’d have the decency to respect my role as a mother. I’ll always do what is best for her.”

  “You’re in a hospital bed, Magnolia. Who is caring for her?”

  Kendall stands. “No one needs to take care of me, but if you must know Aidan and Jenny have been helping out since I left the hospital. I’m not moving in with you, Dad. You won’t take Mom to court, either. I’ll tell them every gory detail. I’ll spread that story like gospel. No judge would put me back in your house for any length of time knowing how much it would damage me emotionally. I thought you came here to make amends. You’re still the same selfish person you’ve always been. Where is the other woman?” Kendall sneers, bringing that catty teenager out to play. I cringe.

  “I need to talk to my family,” Paul says, directing the statement to me. “Alone.”

  Magnolia shakes her hand putting her hand on my arm. “He’s staying. Anything you have to say to us you can say in front of Aidan.”

  “Seriously, Magg
ie?”

  I clear my throat. I’ve sat silent long enough. Paul isn’t an opponent in any sense. His salt and pepper hair is long and shaggy, and he’s long and lean. I could dispatch of him so quickly I’d be considered a lethal weapon in a court of law. Instead, I say, “Magnolia is serious.” Had she wanted privacy in this fucked up family moment I would have respected it. Could even understand it a bit. They were an established unit far before I came into the picture. “It’s probably best if you go.”

  “Fuck you, man. Get out of here. These are my girls,” Paul says, eyes glinting challenge. That’s all it takes. I didn’t fight hard enough for them in the past, but it’s obvious this where I’m supposed to be. My fight.

  I stand up, to my full height and take two steps toward Paul. He wobbles as he tries to step away from my looming presence. “These aren’t your girls. Not after what you did. You lost them a long time ago. This is what happens when men do bad things, Paul. Good men swoop in and steal the things they used to care about. These are my girls now. I care about them. I love them. I would die for them. I almost did. I will fight for them and with them until I take my very last breath. Magnolia is wild and beautiful—the special kind of beautiful, because when I met her, she had no idea of her worth. I did though. I saw every scar and every memory she shared with me as my chance. As the wrapping paper of a gift I’ve waited my whole life for.”

  Paul takes another shaky step backward. I step forward in time with his backward movement. I nod at him, “You will let Kendall stay where she wants. You won’t give Magnolia anymore grief because she doesn’t deserve that. No,” I say, choking on my words. “Because she’s good, Paul. Not like you.”