The Case of the Graceful Goldens

by B R Snow

  “I didn’t think vets were supposed to work on people,” Chief Abrams said.

  “We’re not,” she said, continuing her work without looking up. “You going to arrest me, Chief?”

  “Actually, I thought I might ask you to take a look at one of the cuts I got walking through those woods.”

  “Okay, it’s ready to go,” Sammy said. “When you’re ready, just push the play button on the camera, and it’ll show on the TV.”

  “Thanks, Sammy,” I said.

  “No problem. I need to head down to the Inn. Jill and I are doing inventory tonight.”

  “Swing by later,” Chef Claire said. “I’m reheating some leftover lasagna. But don’t wait too long, I’m pretty sure Josie worked up quite an appetite today.”

  “Funny,” Josie said, tugging one of the stitches tight.

  “Ow. Hey, she said it. Don’t take it out on me,” I said, glancing over my shoulder.

  “Yeah, but you were thinking it,” Josie said. “Okay, we’re done here. Just let me get a bandage on it.”

  “Thanks,” I said, taking a large sip of wine.

  “Let’s check out this footage before dinner,” Chief Abrams said.

  “Good idea,” Chef Claire said, rubbing Al and Dente’s heads who were nestled next to her on the couch. “I can’t believe you threatened to kill the dognappers.”

  “It wasn’t like that at all,” I said. “It was only a smart part of a casual conversation I was having with Alexandra. We could have just as easily been talking about the weather.”

  “If it gets much colder, I’m going to stab somebody in the chest?” Josie deadpanned.

  “Josie, please,” my mother said.

  “Sorry, Mrs. C.”

  “I should hope so,” she said, then looked at me. “Darling, how many times do I have to remind you that everything you say these days has a good chance of being recorded?”

  “Obviously at least one more time than you did, Mom,” I said, grabbing the remote.

  We watched in silence as the restaurant footage began to play. Several close-up snippets of Jessica beaming into the camera and delivering homey platitudes randomly appeared in between shots of people eating and laughing. It was the raw feed of the day’s events, but I knew that an editor could quickly cut the video together into a coherent story. Despite my deep loathing for the woman, I had to admit that she was very good at what she did.

  Then I saw myself chatting with Alexandra and heard my comment about what I’d like to do to the dognappers. I cringed and downed the rest of my wine.

  “Not good,” I said.

  “No, it’s not. Especially when it’s combined with the shot of you standing at the bottom of the stairs covered in blood and holding the knife,” Chief Abrams said. “But as long as it doesn’t ever make it on the air, you’ll be fine.”

  “So, you can bury it?” my mother said.

  “Well, I can use the murder evidence argument to stall for a while,” Chief Abrams said.

  “For how long?” my mother said.

  “Probably a couple of days,” he said. “Maybe a week. But that network has a lot of lawyers whose job it is to deal with things like this. And when it comes to stories that promise big ratings, they fight pretty hard.”

  “I’ll talk to Bob,” my mother said.

  “Do you think he’ll listen to you?” I said.

  “Yes. But only up to a point, darling. He still has his own corporate masters he needs to keep happy.”

  “Two human interest stories, plus an on the spot report from a murder scene,” Josie said, shaking her head. “That’s a big score for Jessica.”

  “Indeed,” my mother said. “Don’t worry, darling. We’ll figure something out.”

  “We better,” Josie deadpanned. “You look dreadful in orange.”

  “You’re such a big help,” I said, punching her on the shoulder.

  “Relax,” Josie said. “You didn’t kill the guy. The worst thing that can happen is your reputation gets permanently damaged.”

  “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

  “Hey, I said it was the worst thing that could happen. But it’s not going to,” Josie said. “We’ll figure something out.”

  “Has Coke Bottle started talking yet?” I said.

  “Not much. The state police took him into custody when he was at the emergency room,” Chief Abrams said. “He said it wasn’t his idea to steal the dogs and that Rooster’s brother threatened him if he didn’t go along with it.”

  “What about the man and woman?” I said.

  “Coke Bottle said he never got their names, but he does remember the man calling her Sylvia a couple of times.”

  “I heard him call her that,” I said, nodding. “Did he give you a description?”

  “Yeah,” Chief Abrams said, laughing. “I’m currently on the lookout for two blurry, vaguely-shaped individuals. Just my luck that our only eyewitness is blind as a bat.”

  “You were saying earlier that they stole the wrong dogs,” my mother said.

  “Yeah, they did,” I said. “They must have been trying to steal Alexandra’s two Goldens. And since they’re Al and Dente’s parents, it would be an easy mistake to make.”

  “Especially for a couple of idiots like those two,” Josie said.

  “By the way, I called Alexandra and gave her an update. She was wondering if she could keep Lucky and Lucy at the Inn while she’s judging the dog show. When I told her we heard the man and woman say that they were just going to have to handle it by themselves, she got nervous. And she doesn’t want to take any chances.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Josie said. “Who’s scheduled to work on Saturday?”

  “Tommy,” I said. “But I thought we might ask Sammy if he wants to work a little overtime and help him out.”

  “Yeah. Good idea. Let’s do that,” Josie said.

  “And I’ll be at the show along with several state police in street clothes,” Chief Abrams said. “You really think they’re going to be there?”

  “I do,” I said, nodding. “Especially if they’re assuming that Alexandra is planning on bringing her Goldens.”

  “It makes sense,” Chief Abrams said. “She said she takes them everywhere with her.”

  “Are Alexandra’s dogs that valuable?” my mother said.

  “Did you ever see the commercial of the two Goldens running through the water wearing diamonds?”

  “Of course, diamonds always get my attention, darling.”

  “That’s them. And the dogs have their own calendar, tee shirts, coffee mugs, you name it. And I heard that Alexandra’s in negotiations to get them their own line of dog food.”

  “Really?” Josie said, glancing down at her Newfie who was sprawled out across her feet. “Did you hear that, Captain? Do you see what’s possible when you simply apply yourself?”

  I laughed when Captain opened his eyes and raised his head a few inches off the floor to glance at Josie, then thumped his tail and went back to sleep.

  “Her Goldens are a big deal in the dog world,” I said.

  “And probably the envy of every other dog breeder?” Chief Abrams said, raising an eyebrow.

  “Now that is a very interesting idea, Chief,” I said.

  “All I know is that their puppies cost a small fortune,” Chef Claire said, patting both dogs. “Freddie and Jackson said they each spent three thousand for these guys,”

  “Wow,” my mother said. “That’s a lot of money for a dog.” She glanced at us and shrugged. “No offense.”

  “But worth every penny,” Josie said, reaching over to rub Al’s head.

  “How many puppies are in a litter?” my mother said.

  “Goldens?” Josie said. “Usually somewhere between six and ten.”

  “One litter a year?” my mother said.

  “I wouldn’t recommend any more often than that,” Josie said. “But the people running these scams don’t give a squat about the
dogs. And they’ll try to push the females to have two litters a year. But it’s really hard on them.”

  “At three grand a pop, that’s a pretty good chunk of change,” Chief Abrams said.

  “Especially if they’ve got a dozen or so females pushing out litters,” I said.

  “But what about the pedigree and lineage papers you’re always talking about?” my mother said. “That’s a pretty big deal for people spending all that money, right?”

  “If you have access to some of the databases that are out there, it’s actually pretty easy to fake them,” Josie said. “Give me a couple of hours, and I could probably convince you that Suzy is a direct descendant of the Queen of England.”

  “Not with those table manners you couldn’t,” my mother said, laughing.

  “Funny, Mom.”

  “Good one, Mrs. C.,” Josie said, laughing.

  “Thank you, dear. It’s nice to see that somebody gets me,” my mother said, standing up. “Okay, I need to run to a meeting. What’s my share for today’s dinner?”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mom. We’re going to pay for it out of the restaurant.”

  “Won’t that kill your profits this month?” she said, glancing around at the three of us.

  Chef Claire, Josie, and I looked at each other and shrugged it off.

  “Not enough to worry about, Mom.”

  “We’re having a good year,” Chef Claire said, refilling all our wine glasses.

  “Okay, but I insist on paying next year,” she said, waving as she headed for the kitchen door.

  When we heard her car roar out of the driveway, Josie glanced over at me.

  “It’s nice to see that she’s not still mad at you,” she said.

  “Oh, she’s still mad,” I said. “She’s just waiting until we’re alone before she lets me have it.”

  “So, you’re going to be traveling in small groups for the foreseeable future,” Josie said.

  “Exactly,” I said, gently setting Chloe down on the floor and getting up out of my chair. “Judging by the smells coming from the kitchen, I’m betting that the lasagna is ready.”

  “I think you’re right,” Chef Claire said. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Chief?”

  “I was so hoping you’d ask,” he said. “I hate to go to an empty house on an empty stomach. The wife and the dog drove to Pennsylvania to see the kids.”

  “You’re all alone at Thanksgiving?” I said.

  “Well, let’s see. Earlier today I had dinner with over a hundred of my closest friends, then spent several hours dealing with a murder and tramping through the woods. And now I’m here watching home movies with you guys. Trust me, by the time I get home later, I’ll be more than happy with a little alone time.”

  “Good point,” I said. “And I’m glad you’re sticking around for dinner. Maybe you’ll have a few ideas about how we can push a few of Jessica’s buttons at the dog show.”

  “You’re not thinking about getting even with her by breaking the law, are you?”

  “Of course not,” I said. “Why would you ask me a question like that?”

  “I just wanted to know if I needed to be looking the other way when you did,” he said, winking at me. “You know, as much of a fan as I am of Chef Claire’s lasagna, shouldn’t we be eating turkey sandwiches tonight?”

  “That’s my fault,” Chef Claire said. “I was in so much of a hurry to start looking for Al and Dente I completely forgot to bring some leftovers home.”

  “So we’re stuck with lasagna?” Josie deadpanned.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, no. Not the briar patch.”

  Chapter 12

  Alexandra slowly made her way through the condo area, spending as much time with our beloved mutts as she did with the purebreds. Because of that, my estimation of her went up several notches. She was what Josie and I liked to call an equal opportunity dog person. She reached into one of the condos to pet the gorgeous Beagle-Pitbull mix we’d found abandoned a few months ago. Alexandra stood and took another look around.

  “And you take every dog in?” she said.

  “We try to,” Josie said. “But occasionally we have to say no because we’re completely full.”

  “And you have a strict no-kill policy?” Alexandra said.

  “Absolutely,” I said.

  “And if you’re at full capacity, but come across a dog about to be put down?” she said.

  “We find room,” Josie said, shrugging.

  “You’re doing wonderful work here,” she said, bending over to pet Tiny, our massive Great Dane.

  “We like to think so,” Josie said. “And just so you don’t worry about Lucky and Lucy, all our dogs are up to date on all their vaccinations, and we’ve never had a single case of kennel cough or anything else that could be passed from dog to dog.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me,” she said. “You could eat off these floors.”

  “Let’s not get carried away, Alexandra,” Josie said. “Even I have my limits.”

  “Unless she drops her sandwich,” I said.

  “Funny.”

  “I really don’t want to leave them overnight,” Alexandra said.

  “Not a problem,” I said. “Just drop them off tomorrow morning on your way to the show. We open at seven.”

  “Perfect,” she said. “I’m thinking about staying for a few days after the show. I hate going home to an empty house.”

  “When is your husband getting back?” I said.

  “Wednesday,” Alexandra said, reaching into her purse and holding up a family picture. “That’s the family. My son followed in his father’s footsteps and became a lawyer. My daughter wanted to be a vet, but she couldn’t get in and had to settle for medical school.”

  “Getting into vet school is tough,” Josie said. “It took me two tries.”

  “Good looking kids. Your husband’s a lawyer?” I said, looking at the photo of Alexandra’s family with her two prize Goldens sitting and smiling for the camera.

  “By training, yes. Now he handles most of the business side of our company. He’s more comfortable hanging around with other lawyers, and I much prefer the company of dogs. It’s an arrangement that works well for us.”

  I caught Josie’s eye, and she gave me a small shake of her head telling me to let Alexandra’s last statement pass without comment.

  “I’ll need to get home sometime on Tuesday at the latest,” Alexandra said as we headed back toward the reception area. “Lucky has a freezing session scheduled.”

  We stepped inside reception and found Chef Claire and Sammy and Jill laughing as they watched the four Golden Retrievers roughhousing on the floor.

  “You said Lucky has a freezing session?” Josie said, frowning.

  “Actually, he has several coming up in the next few weeks,” Alexandra said, smiling as she watched the dogs. “I need to help the clinic get restocked.”

  “I’m sorry, Alexandra,” I said. “But I think we’re going to need a little clarification.”

  “Of course. That must have sounded strange,” she said, giving us a small smile. “Ever since Lucky and Lucy started to get successful, I’ve been freezing Lucky’s sperm. Do you have any idea what that’s worth?”

  “Well, I’m no expert on dog semen,” Josie said. “But I could probably ballpark it.”

  “It’s quite a lot of money,” Alexandra said. “Harold suggested that we bank as much of it as we could, so we’ve been taking Lucky to the clinic on a weekly basis for the past few years. Does that make me a money-grubbing monster?”

  “Well, I can’t speak to that, Alexandra,” Josie deadpanned. “But I’m sure it makes Lucky a pretty happy dog.”

  “Yes,” she said, giggling and lowering her voice to a whisper. “If I even mention the word clinic these days, Lucky heads straight for the car.”

  Lucky paused from his play session, cocked his head, and looked at Alexandra. Then he resumed his playful attack on one of Dente’s front paws
.

  “But last week, I got a call from the owner of the clin-, you know what, and he told me they’d been robbed. Their entire inventory was stolen.”

  I glanced at Josie who was already pondering the implications of what Alexandra had just told us.

  “So, we’re going to be rapidly restocking Lucky’s supply,” Alexandra said, then caught our expressions. “What?”

  “I’m just wondering if the robbery at the sperm bank and the threat of someone kidnapping your dogs could be connected,” I said.

  Alexandra frowned and looked off into the distance.

  “I suppose it’s possible,” she said, shaking her head. “I hate those people.”

  “The people that trade in black market dogs?” I said.

  “Yes. Them and even some who call themselves legitimate breeders,” she said.

  “Are there a lot of people who are envious of your success, Alexandra?” I said.

  “Of course. I’ve learned that envy seems to be an integral part of basic human nature.”

  “Another good reason to spend as much time as you can surrounded by dogs,” Josie said.

  “Exactly,” Alexandra said, staring off into the distance, her eyes dark, her lips pursed.

  “Will any of them be here for the dog show tomorrow?” Josie said.

  “Yes, several. You met a few of them at your restaurant yesterday,” she said. “But I doubt if their envy would extend to dognapping. Or robbery.”

  “Maybe,” I said. “But let’s keep a close eye on things tomorrow.”

  “And you’re sure that Lucky and Lucy will be safe here?” Alexandra said.

  “They will,” Josie said, nodding.

  “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to them,” Alexandra said, glancing down at her watch. “I have to stop by the venue for a walkthrough, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Looking forward to it,” I said.

  Alexandra opened the front door then paused and looked back at us.

  “You’re absolutely sure they’ll be safe here?” she said.

  “Yes, you have our word,” I said. “And if you hear any more about the robbery, please let us know.”

  “I’ll ask the owner of the clinic when I see him on Tuesday.”