‘Are you going to fuck me then, or just sit inside me all night?’ I ask cheekily, raising a brow, a huge smile on my face. His head comes shooting out of my neck, his mouth hanging open as he pants into my face. He looks comically horrified.
‘Christ, what the hell have I unleashed?’ A crooked smile. ‘Baby, slow down. I am fucking you,’ he murmurs, giving his pelvis a quiet twitch and I feel the first shears of dark pleasure at the feel of him. Carter closes his eyes and clenches his teeth for a moment.
‘If you seriously expected me to throw you onto the mattress and fuck you through it tonight, then I’m going to have to disappoint you,’ he says silkily, together with another slight tuck of his hips, a longer one this time and now, finally, he begins to seep quietly in and out of me.
I’m far from disappointed, but I don’t need to tell him that. A long, tortured groan leaves my throat at the sensations. Holy fucking shit… every hair on my body is standing to attention, my goose-bumps hot and delicious as they swarm over my skin. Carter’s kissing me again, his mouth moving sloppily and languidly against my own and he sucks my bottom lip deeply as he pulls away to speak again.
He stares down at me as he gently rocks his hips back and forth. His movements are slow, careful, sensual and with each beautiful stroke, the pleasure in my body builds, amplifies and I start to sweat.
‘And anyway,’ he whispers, his dark eyes locked with mine. ‘This is making love and it’s far, far better than fucking.’ A half smile, which turns into a wince and a groan, his eyes sliding shut for a beat as his own pleasure starts to bite. ‘Jesus, you’re so fucking tight,’ he mutters, the first small beads of sweat beginning to gather on his brow.
I love the flush of his high cheekbones, the way his lip continually finds its way between his teeth, the way that he leans his damp forehead tenderly against my own, breathing harshly onto my face.
It’s all so amazing and I never want it to end. I want to capture this moment in time, keep it with me forever, replay it in my mind every second of every day.
Carter stills suddenly and I pang with loss as the sweet sensations that he was whipping up in me ease. He lifts his mouth from mine, brushing the hair away from my face and I see his eyes skipping all over me, taking in every feature. He smooths my damp eyebrows as I gulp, gasping up at him now.
I’m not going to be able to last much longer, another few of those mind-bending strokes and I’m going to come all over him. I feel brand new and shiny bright and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine saying goodbye to virginity would be like this.
‘Do you want me to make you come?’ he breathes, kissing my nose. ‘Or do you want to leave it at that for now? Aren’t you sore?’
‘No, Carter - I’m on fucking fire!’ I bark, kissing him. ‘I want us to come together. Can you do that?’
He throws his head back and laughs, and for a moment he looks so young and so incredibly beautiful that everything in my body twitches with joy.
‘Can I do that?’ A sexy smile. ‘What do you think? Tell me when you’re ready, alright?’
He grits his teeth, his jaw muscles clenching and I see him hold his breath. He’s going to hang onto it until I give him the nod and he’s already finding it a struggle. It’s quite phenomenal the way that I can destroy him with my body, this incredible man.
I try and concentrate, but I need him to give me a bit more. I was so ready a few moments ago, but my teetering climax has retreated after the breathless, kiss soaked conversation and I need him to drag it back. It’s not gone far, it’s lurking outside the door and I shoot a hand into Carter’s dark storm of damp curls. I drag his face to mine and lock with his frantic eyes.
‘I need it harder, Carter,’ I whine.
‘Fuck… what? Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, please… just…. oh Carter?’
I’ve lost the power to form a sentence, but he’s not stupid and, swearing again, he dips his head.
‘If I kiss you again, I won’t hold onto it,’ he warns but I just drag his head down into the crook of my sweaty neck. Fine. He can kiss me in a few minutes. There’s one thing I want to feel now and that’s Carter’s perfect cock bringing me to a screaming orgasm.
He holds me close, his breath hot and harsh on my neck as he starts to sweep in and out of me with increasing power. He’s not exactly battering me into the mattress, but these are real thrusts, not gentle seeps an inch at a time.
He stokes the fire inside of me with each one, my breath shallowing with each frantic beat of my heart. Oh God, here it comes, I’m close, so close but I explode in a shower of sparks when Carter drives into me one last time and then stills, circling his hips in a lazy helix that has me crying out desperately, my legs flying from the bed and manacling around his waist.
Carter cries out as my stiffening limbs drag his body against mine and I jerk helplessly beneath him, sinking my teeth into his sweating shoulder.
‘Jesus fucking Christ!’ he yells and for a stupid moment I’m so glad that Justin and Ellen aren’t in the bedroom next door. He yanks his flushed face from my neck, slamming his mouth down onto mine, his tongue in there before our lips have even met. He kisses me breathlessly, before screwing his eyes shut, a long, tortured groan dragging from the back of his throat. My core clenches hard around him as he begins to twitch inside me, finally stilling his hips and pulling his head back to stare at me as he starts to come.
‘Oh God, Pearl… I…’ he chokes the words off as he crushes his body into me, sheathing me with every hot sweaty inch, his head dropping painfully into the pillow at the side of my head. He turns his face, his breath coming in frantic gasps, throbs of hot velvet as it hits my ear and I twitch again on the bed beneath him.
We hold each other close, neither of us saying a word, trying to calm our wildly galloping hearts. I wonder briefly what Carter had been about to say, before he lost the ability a few moments ago.
Could it have been I love you?
Not likely. The man was coming like the proverbial train and he was no doubt trying to inform me of it. I’m dragged away from my thoughts when I hear his voice, muffled into the pillow, his face buried in it.
‘I’m so fucked.’
Another ambiguous sentence and I shift slightly, pulling my body gently to the left, so I can turn my head. I stroke his sweating back, my fingers making random swirls into his damp skin.
He’s fucked. What’s that supposed to mean?
Could be a lot of things. For a start, he has just been fucked, by a virgin no less and it wasn’t hard for me to read the fact that he thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It could also mean that now I’ve quenched some of the raging inferno inside him and cognition is returning, he’s realised just how much shit he’s in with his father. That’s surely what it means. He’s not fucked because he’s lost his heart to me.
Is he?
He finally turns his head and I stroke the damp dark curls away from his forehead. He opens his eyes and my heart kicks once when I look into them. They’re a sated, lazy emerald, filled with desire, wonder and something else, but it wriggles away before I have a chance to examine it properly.
Carter gazes at me, his breathing now beginning to return to normal and some of the high colour disappearing from his cheeks. He takes the hand that’s stroking his face and brings it to his lips, his eyes sliding shut as he kisses the tips of my fingers.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks softly, his beautiful eyes searching again and he closes his hand around mine, drawing it into his chest, next to his heart. I splay my fingers against his damp chest, feeling it throbbing. I give him a languid smile.
‘I feel amazing,’ I murmur back and the look on his face makes my own heart ache with love for him.
He slides a grin. ‘You are amazing.’ He shifts his body, sliding gently out of me and I wince at little at the sensation. Of course, he doesn’t miss it as he sterns a brow at me.
‘You’re sore, aren’t you?’ He flops onto his back, stil
l locked with my eyes and out of my peripheral vision, I see him reach down and tug off the condom. He ties it into a knot, grimacing slightly with distaste again. It seems that he has a slight aversion to his own bodily fluids, but then I get the sense that he’s a fastidious man. He’s always immaculate, he smells divine and his bedroom was clean and tidy. A slob, he’s not.
He leans away from me for a moment, hesitating with the filled condom hanging from his fingers, before dropping it to the side of the bed. He shoots me a look as he lies back down, as if telling me in his mind that he’ll dispose of it later. He doesn’t want to leave the bed just yet and that’s fine by me.
As he settles himself back next to me, he turns onto his side and props his head up with one powerful arm. He raises a brow again and I realise that I haven’t confirmed to him that I’m not sore. I chew my lip. I don’t want to lie to him – I am sore, but that’s entirely natural. I’ve just had an enormous penis pushed into my body for the first time, how could any woman not be sore?
‘A bit,’ I mutter. ‘But, it’s fine, really…’
‘It’s not fine.’ He drops his head for a moment. His hair is adorable, damp and tumbled and I reach up and stroke it. ‘I knew we should have waited, I didn’t want…’
I cut him off, brushing my mouth softly against his and he groans, his lips parting immediately.
‘Carter, it wouldn’t have mattered how long we’d waited,’ I tell him, my earlier thoughts about the same subject coming to the forefront of my mind. I cock an eye down at his groin. Despite his obliterating orgasm, he’s hardly softened and when I touch his glans lightly, running my finger around the rim, it twitches and he gasps.
‘You’re not exactly average in the size stakes, so the first time would have hurt, whatever,’ I say glibly, but there’s real concern in his eyes now.
‘So it did hurt,’ he says and I sigh in exasperation, looping my arms around his neck.
‘No – it didn’t. Stop it.’ I say. ‘I loved every second of it. It pinched a bit at first, but that soon disappeared.’ He says nothing but his gaze is locked so tightly with mine I haven’t a prayer of looking away. ‘You made me come, Carter – that wouldn’t have happened if I’d been in pain,’ I reassure him. ‘I’m a bit sore now, but that will pass with a hot bath.’
My subconscious, the horny cow, has another idea.
More sex, that’s what you need. Another good, hard shag tonight and you’ll be fully limbered up and ready for anything.
Quite possibly, but I’ve a feeling I’m not going to get another dose of Carter’s lovemaking tonight. I know he’s up for it, I can see it in his eyes, but I don’t think he’s completely buying what I’ve just said to him. And anyway – another round would no doubt have me hobbling like John Wayne tomorrow. I need to learn to walk before I can run.
‘Carter, I know why you came here tonight and I love you for it…’ Steady…? ‘…but your dad’s going to be furious. Did you call him to tell him you were bailing?’
I read his body as I bring the subject of his father up, waiting for his muscles to tighten with anxiety but there’s nothing. His green eyes smile down at me.
‘Without a doubt he is and no, I didn’t tell him anything. As soon as I read your text, I switched my phone off and drove straight here. Nothing else mattered.’
My breath hitches again as I realise what this means. He’s in the shit with his family again, because of me, because of his uncontrollable attraction to me. It’s starting to feel like he’s wrapping himself around my little finger as well as my heart, but that’s blind optimism. I remind myself that he’s twenty three, in his prime and with a sex drive probably off the scale. It was lust that dragged him round here tonight, the ignition of his hormones and powerful endorphins pulling his body almost against his will. He was no doubt a slave to them.
I pick his arm up and glance at his watch. It’s not late – he could still go and I tell him so. He shakes his head.
‘No. By the time I got showered, dressed and there, it would be past nine. Fuck it. I’ll deal with the fallout tomorrow,’ he says. He settles himself back into the pillows, still lying on his side, but he’s enough room for his gaze to sweep the length of me and back again. He trails his fingers lightly over my hipbone and I throb once between my legs. Despite my soreness, I will him to drift his hand lower down, wanting to feel his fingers on the soaked slippery skin between my legs that’s desperate for his touch.
‘Can I stay?’ he asks quietly, the question so unexpected that I gape at him for a moment.
He wants to stay!
I beam up at him. I long to tell him that I want him to stay forever, but thankfully common sense prevails.
‘I’d love you to stay,’ I say instead. I want to say so much more, but I need him to say it first. Although I think I can feel the love for me inside him, what he’s feeling aren’t my emotions and it would be foolhardy for me to second guess him. Until I hear him say the words, tell me how he feels, that he’s full of the love that I hope I see drifting so often in his verdant eyes, my gob is staying firmly shut. I might have lost my heart to this man, but I am not spelling it out for him just yet.
He sits up suddenly, sliding his long naked body up the bed until his back is resting against the headboard. He holds out his arms to me and I scramble up immediately, plonking myself on his lap and wrapping my arms and legs around him. His semi-arousal is squashed between our bodies and I can help grinding myself onto his lap for a moment, wincing as I do.
He rolls his eyes.
‘Will you pack it in? It’s incredibly flattering to see such a beautiful woman so eager to fuck me senseless, but I’m going to say it again, baby… slow.’
‘But I don’t want slow, Carter!’ I whine. ‘You’re staying the night and I’m no longer a virgin and I’m…’
‘…sore,’ he reminds me dryly. He pulls back, resting his head on the wood behind him and he gives me a sweet smile. ‘If you want me, help yourself,’ he says simply. ‘There’s much more to making love than penetration, Pearl. I want to do everything with you, but some things you’ll need to build up to.’
My eyes widen in shock. I will? Why – what’s he got in mind?
I remember my chats with Ellen about her weekly ‘Bit of Kink’ with Justin and I blink. I realise that actually, I still know very little about the man I’m wrapped around at all. I don’t know what food he likes, what he does for pleasure, any hobbies. I know he’s spent the majority of the last six years studying and I know a bit about his family structure, but nothing more.
I smile at him, as I realise that what I should do for the rest of the night is get my mind off screwing him again and climb inside his head. I have to be at work tomorrow and Carter said that he had a lecture, so we can’t lie here awake all night, but we’ve got a good couple of hours. I’m warm and sated, my blood is humming through my veins at just the nearness of him, his smell, his soft skin. I’m actually high on him.
His eyes cloud a fraction when he registers that I haven’t spoken in response to his revelation that I’ll need some sexual training. I lean forward and kiss his chest, my eyes looking up at him.
‘Okay.’ I nibble my way down his tattoo, my tongue circling his nipple and his lips part. ‘How about this for a plan, then? We have another half an hour, so that I can practice my blow-job skills and then we can just cuddle up, talk?’
Carter throws back his head and laughs. ‘Are you serious? As if I’m going to turn that down!’ He shakes his head ruefully, leaning in to kiss my neck. ‘What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this?’ he murmurs, and I groan and tip my head back at the feel of his hot breath.
‘Kiss me, beautiful,’ he whispers and I latch my mouth immediately onto his. We say nothing more as we melt into each other again on the bed.
It’s late now and, as I set my alarm for tomorrow morning, Carter comes out of the bathroom. He grins at me.
‘Have you got a spare toothbrush? Sorry, I know it’s an o
dd thing to ask, but I didn’t come prepared for this.’
‘No – but use mine,’ I return immediately and an eyebrow rises.
‘Are you sure?’ He looks at me a bit askance and I nod. I’ve had my tongue down the back of his throat for most of the night, why would I be arsed if he used my toothbrush?
‘Thanks.’ He flashes a smile and disappears back into the bathroom. I flop into bed and stare up at the ceiling. I feel so incredible, I had no idea that being in love would be like this. It’s the most powerful thing I’ve ever known. Carter Jackson has possessed my every molecule – the fact that he’s now also made love to me, dangled utopia in front of my eyes, has just sealed my fate. All that I can hope for now is that he never walks away from me. I’m sure of my feelings and, if Carter were to reveal his, tell me that he loves me, too, then I’d say it in a heartbeat. But he hasn’t and therefore I won’t.
I remind myself, again, that we’re early days. He’s got other shit going on in his life – important shit. He’s got final exams that he’s been working towards for years and, clearly, real family issues, not least his clinging cousin, whom I’ve yet to meet. He’s already told me that he was hesitant to start a relationship with me, but that he couldn’t help himself. The least I can do is give the man some space to come to terms with what he might be feeling for me, deal with his personal issues and not put him under any pressure in the meantime.
I feel better now that I’ve chewed that over in my head and I have a plan as to how I’m going to approach the coming weeks. Given Toria’s stalking behaviour, the last thing I need to do is emulate her, he’ll no doubt run a mile, despite any budding feelings for me. I hear the click as he pulls the light cord and within a few seconds, he’s striding naked over to the bed towards me. I shift over as he slides in beside me and I look at my watch. It’s gone midnight now.
The whole evening has been incredible and I did indeed get to practice my newly found blow-job skills. Hearing Carter groan my name as he came, holding my head gently against his trembling body made me feel ten feet tall. Afterward, we lay in the bed, talking, laughing and kissing, sometimes long, long minutes of kissing. Neither of us can get enough of the other. Every time Carter’s near me, there’s a desperation in his eyes which only fades when he puts his hands or his mouth on me.
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