Dark

  When I’m certain I’ve emptied my poor stomach I stand, wiping my still watering eyes. Gemma comes over to me, pushing a handful of tissues into my hand and I nod my thanks. Carter takes me in his arms again, oblivious to the fact that I’ve just chucked up in the street and I hope he doesn’t try to kiss me. I’ll have to resist him and I’ll struggle like hell.

  His concerned eyes look down at me. ‘Are you alright? How many of those did you have?’

  ‘Too many,’ I groan, but now I’ve been sick, I do feel much better. I’ll have some water when I get in.

  ‘Come on, let’s get you home,’ he says, kissing my hair and giving both Gemma and Donna a quick hug, which makes them swoon. He flashes his wide smile as he leads me over to the Audi parked a few hundred yards away. My steps slow as I reach it and I try and read my unhappy stomach. I can’t run the risk of chucking up in his car. I’d never get over the shame.

  He blips the alarm, but pauses as he sees me dithering near the passenger door.

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘Nothing, I’m just making sure I’m not going to be sick again.’

  He shrugs. ‘Don’t bother. Throw up in the footwell if you need to, I don’t care.’ He gives me a cool look. This car really does mean nothing to him and I lean on the roof, our eyes locked.

  ‘Carter, why do you call your father Philip? Why don’t you call him dad?’

  ‘Because Philip’s his name,’ he replies immediately but he doesn’t follow it up. It’s an explanation, but not really, but I don’t want to start picking it apart now. I’m drunk, Carter’s here and he’s trying to get me into the car so that he can take me home and hopefully, do rude things to me.

  Dream on. You’ve no chance – he thinks you’re smashed.

  We’ll see. I open the door and slide into the leather and within a few seconds, we’re on the road and driving in comfortable silence to Justin’s. I lean my head back and close my eyes. I need that glass of water, my mouth feels sour and sticky and I long to brush my teeth. I’m not doing that again, I’ve been a legal drinker for a week I shouldn’t be at the throwing up stage yet. I need to rein it in.

  He takes my hand, his fingers stroking, but he says nothing. He evidently thinks that he’d get nothing sensible out of me tonight anyway. If I’ve any chance of persuading him to fuck me, I need to make sure that I don’t slur my words. Without even having the conversation, I know that Carter Jackson is not the sort of man who would have sex with a heavily intoxicated woman. He just wouldn’t, it’s against his moral code. I’ll soon find out anyway, but I’ll bet I’m not wrong.

  We reach the house and he parks the car on the other side of the front door, coming round to help me out of the seat. I struggle to extricate myself from the leather, my movements clumsy and uncoordinated and I swear again in my head. I’m such a moron. If I’d stopped drinking when Carter arrived, we’d be a tangle of naked limbs now. He’s aching for me just as badly, I felt it in his feverish kisses, his revelation of his day long hard-on. Picking up where we left off a few days ago has been the only thing in his head, and I’ve ruined it. I’m surprised the man’s not completely fucked off with me by now, all I seem to do is cause him grief in one form or another.

  I grope for my key and he takes it gently out of my hand, quietly letting us into the house.

  Twenty Three

  Carter closes the flat door as I weave through the lounge, dumping my bag on the settee. I head straight for the kitchen and the glass cupboard, taking out a pint and filling it with cold water. I stand gripping the side of the sink, chugging it and then refilling it. I read somewhere that drinking a couple of pints of water dilutes the alcohol in your bloodstream. I hope it works. I’m banking on it. If I don’t make love to Carter tonight, I’m going to wither and die.

  I sense him come into the room behind me, even though he doesn’t make a sound in his approach. I can feel him. The buzz in my tissues intensifies, the pulse between my thighs becoming more powerful with every passing second. I turn automatically locking with his beautiful eyes as he leans onto the doorframe, just watching me. His pupils are completely blown out, his usually pale skin wearing the light flush of arousal, but he shakes his head when he sees me downing the second glass of water.

  ‘That’s not an antidote, you know.’

  ‘Might be!’ I retort defiantly, banging the glass down and walking over to him. His lips part as he sees me coming, his broad chest starting to expand more quickly as his breathing quickens. He thinks I’m coming to kiss him, but I’m not, not yet.

  Giving him a sweet smile, I brush past him. ‘Just going to the bathroom. Take a seat,’ I say.

  ‘In here?’

  ‘Yeah.’ I pause, giving him a look, my stupid body betraying me with an unexpected hiccup and I see the resolve harden in his eyes. I want him in here, on a chair so I can straddle him. He’ll have no chance of resisting me. He’s going to try, I know he is, but he’s going to fail spectacularly.

  I hurry away as well as my wobbling gait will allow and I concentrate on walking in a straight line. It’s not easy and I land in front of the sink, squeezing far too much toothpaste onto my brush and shoving it into my mouth without water. I need to get rid of this foul, bitter vomit aftertaste. I can’t kiss Carter until I do. Scrubbing at my tongue after a good three minutes, I spit thick foam, and rinse my mouth once with a water-loaded brush. I clatter it back into the mug and then grin at myself stupidly in the mirror.

  You look wasted.

  I do. But the water is definitely working. I can feel some clarity to my mind again, my eyes keeping up when I turn my head – they weren’t an hour ago. Yes. I can do this and I square my shoulders, making my way back to the kitchen.

  Carter’s sitting on one of the chairs, leaning back, but his eyes are on the door and he grins when he sees me. He knows I’ve just brushed my teeth and I see him allow himself to kiss me in my mind. I can imagine his thoughts – one kiss, well, maybe more than one, but no sex. No way. Not when she’s pissed.

  I walk over to him and when I get to the side of his chair, I stand and look down at him, waiting. He pushes it back a few inches, giving me enough room to cock my leg over his and I settle onto his lap. His arms go around me and he tips his head back, looking up at me with lazy eyes.

  ‘This wasn’t what I had in mind,’ he says softly, his hands starting a slow slide over my clothes and my gut twitches.

  ‘This is exactly what I had in mind, Carter,’ I murmur, dipping my head now and brushing my mouth against his. I breathe confidently, knowing I’m fresh and minty and his eyes slide shut, a sigh leaving him as he moulds his lips to mine. He knows he hasn’t got a hope in hell of stopping this kiss.

  It goes on and one, becoming deeper and hotter with every sensuous sweep of his tongue but then he groans in frustration, bringing his hands from around my body and taking hold of my face. He pushes me gently away from him, his breathing ragged.

  ‘We need to stop,’ he says, his voice not quite steady.

  ‘No we don’t,’ I mutter, burrowing under his neck, nipping his throat and making another tortured sound drag from his throat.

  ‘Pearl, baby… we do… listen to me…’

  I whine with frustration when he pulls me away from him again. ‘Carter, please… I’m fine, honestly, I’ve thrown most of it up and I’ve had two pints of water…’ I know I sound pathetic and I could hear a slight slur in a couple of those words. He’s not buying this and he shakes his head.

  ‘Pearl. We’ve only made love once and it was incredible. I want the next time to be even better and it won’t be if you’re smashed and you don’t have a clue what’s going on,’ he says reasonably, hiking a brow.

  ‘I’m not smashed!’ I retort indignantly.

  You so are.

  No. I’m drunk, but I’m not annihilated out of my mind and I tip my head at him. He’s chewing his lip and searching my face, making a decision in his mind.

  ‘Alright. Prove
it. If you pass the test, I’ll make love to you. I promise.’

  I can see the thread of pleading in his verdant eyes. Please, for God’s sake pass the test, whatever it is but I nod eagerly, placing my hands on his shoulders and I stroke his neck lightly as I wait for him to tell me what he wants me to do. I’ll ace it.

  Ha! Will you? If he asks you to walk in a straight line like the cops in America do to drunk drivers, you’re screwed.

  Quite possibly, but he knows I can’t walk in a straight line, so I doubt it’s that.

  He gives me a quick kiss. ‘Let’s try a tongue twister,’ he says and I laugh. Oh shit! I bite my lip, my drunken eyes dancing. I’m enjoying this now. I’m going to get my way whatever, I’ve got the ultimate weapon up my sleeve, or should I say, racing around my bloodstream. I can’t wait to see his face when I tell him I want him naked inside me tonight.

  ‘Repeat after me,’ he starts, struggling to hold back his own laughter now. ‘Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers.’

  I try. I do, but I fail miserably.

  ‘Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peckers!’ I say loudly, but Carter’s now absolutely helpless with laughter underneath me, his body shaking as he tips his head back, closing his eyes. What’s so bloody funny? I know I got it wrong, but still, it’s not that amusing. Is it?

  ‘What you laughing at?’ I probe, sticking my finger in his armpit, but he just looks at me. Damn. He’s not ticklish, that’s a shame.

  ‘You,’ he says. ‘Pepper - not pecker! Do you even know what a pecker is?’

  ‘A bird?’ I say hopefully and he collapses into laughter again.

  ‘No, it’s an old fashioned word for penis,’ he says patiently and dive back under his chin again.

  ‘Lucky Peter Piper then,’ I mutter, kissing his Adam’s apple. ‘Imagine having a peck of pickled penises! What the fuck’s a peck, anyway? Is it a short pecker?’ I snort against his skin we giggle like a pair of kids. I pull my head out of his neck. Our eyes lock and we stare at each other. Two young people so very much in… what?

  Love.

  I am, anyway. My laughter’s gone when I look into his eyes. They’re soft, brimming with emotion, but there’s still steel in them. I’m not home free yet and I try another tactic, grinding gently into his lap. He catches his full bottom lip between his teeth, his pupils expanding even more.

  ‘No way. Don’t try destroying me with your body, Pearl. It won’t work,’ he says easily, cocking a brow, but there’s something else in his eyes now. Panic.

  He’s full of shit. It will work and he knows it will, so he’s trying to prevent me starting. He can shove that. He’s got one more shot at caving and then I’m bringing out the big gun. I tip my pelvis into him, pressing my mons hard into the bulge in his jeans and I know he can feel me. His eyes clench shut and he shakes his head.

  ‘Alright,’ I say, pulling back a fraction. ‘I don’t need to use my body to make you change your mind, Carter. I’ve got words that will do that.’

  His eyes widen as he stares up at me and I get the strangest notion that he thinks I’m going to tell him that I’m in love with him. He doesn’t know whether to be terrified or exhilarated, I read that in a flicker of a second and he just looks up at me, waiting.

  I cock my head. ‘You ready for this?’

  A nod.

  ‘Are you absolutely sure that you’re not going to make love to me tonight?’

  Another nod.

  ‘And I can’t persuade you?’

  ‘Pearl…’ He’s becoming frustrated now. ‘Look, baby. You know I want to make love to you, I drove here today with nothing else in my head. That photograph that you sent me has driven me insane, I had to stop looking at it.’ He sighs now and reaches up to stroke my lips gently. ‘You’ve had far too much to drink and besides which, I don’t have any condoms.’

  Aha. Now we’re getting to it. I suddenly realise that he must’ve taken the others home with him, they’re not on the bedside cabinet.

  I give him a mock agonised look now, as if he’s just destroyed me. ‘What? Are you kidding me?’ I bite my lip and he shakes his head. ‘You didn’t bring any?’ I whine. This is so much fun, he’s going to lose his shit in a minute.

  ‘I know – I’m a dick,’ he says. ‘I put them in my jacket pocket and then forgot the fucking jacket. I was going to stop and buy some, but when you threw up…’

  ‘I need you, Carter,’ I say quietly. ‘I need you more than I’ve ever needed anything before in my life. And guess what?’

  ‘What?’ he breathes against my mouth as he kisses me, breaks away and then kisses me again, his tongue stroking my teeth.

  I pull back. Here it comes and I want to be looking into his incredible eyes when the words hit his brain.

  ‘We don’t need condoms, I’ve been to the clinic and you’re good to go. I want to feel your skin on mine.’

  Twenty Four

  The chair screeches back as Carter shoots to his feet, still clutching me and he slams me down onto the kitchen table in front of him. He’s between my legs in an instant, his hands cupping my face and then his mouth brutally hits mine. I’m panting when he eventually pulls away.

  ‘What? You mean… you’ve… I can…?

  I laugh delightedly. He’s as fucked up as I am when he’s high on me. I stroke my finger softly the length of his nose.

  ‘It means I want you totally naked, Carter. I don’t have any diseases – well, you know I don’t… obviously…’

  I break off, stumbling a bit now and he barks a laugh. ‘Stop, please. You’re worried that I might think you have a disease? Jesus fucking Christ…’

  His mouth is back on mine, his kiss raw, hungry, his tongue plunging as he holds my face, his long fingers brushing over my closed eyes and I moan against his lips, the throbbing between my legs becoming out of control. If he keeps this up I’m going to come, but I suddenly don’t care.

  ‘Pearl,’ he gasps, talking again and he gulps, blowing out a breath before looking deeply into my eyes again. ‘I’m clean too, I swear.’ He leans his forehead against mine. ‘I’ll get a physical if you want, I can make an appointment tomorr…’

  ‘No. I don’t want it anyway.’ I gaze up at him, our eyes locked hard. ‘You know what I want. I want your perfect cock inside me and I want it now.’

  I see the change in his eyes, his control and everything else that holds him back snapping like a rubber band.

  ‘You know what? Fuck it. Why the hell am I resisting, I need you so fucking badly I can barely see straight.’ He shakes his head and when his eyes lock with mine again, they’re so bright, I wonder whether there’s a thin sheen of tears, his breath wobbling with emotion. ‘I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than I want you right now,’ he breathes, stroking my face so gently and joy throbs.

  He lets go of me, taking a step back. Raking both hands through his now sweating hairline, he blows out a long breath. I remain sitting on the kitchen table. I’ll let him take the lead and I don’t have long to wait.

  Bending down, he tugs the laces of his black Rockports and kicks them from his feet, his socks following. I gape at him. He’s getting naked in the kitchen? I was expecting the bedroom, but I don’t actually care. He’s getting naked, that’s all that matters.

  His black jeans are next, and he pushes them casually down his long legs, kicking the material away from him and then reaching behind him and skinning his light shirt from his body. He chucks it to the floor and gives me a sexy smile.

  ‘Are you just going to sit there, or are you getting those clothes off?’ he asks, shoving his boxers unceremoniously down his legs and his words sting me into action. I’m too busy sitting ogling his perfection, I’ve forgotten how to use my limbs. I comply quickly and within ten seconds, I’m naked too. I go to perch back on the table but he shakes his head, holding his hand out to me. Perhaps we are going in the bedroom after all?

  I’m wrong again when he sits back down on the hard kitche
n chair, wriggling for a second, it must be cold on his hot behind. He looks up at me, holding out his arms and I sink into his lap, his large arousal sandwiched for the moment between our bellies.

  ‘Okay, beautiful. I can’t actually wait for this and I need to apologise in advance.’

  I tip my head. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because without a condom and judging by what you made me feel with a condom, this is going to be very quick,’ he says, reaching up to kiss me. ‘But we can do it again…’ another sweet kiss, ‘…and again, and again…’

  Oh God…

  I shiver in his arms in anticipation.

  ‘I want you to sit on me, Pearl, but this is a good position for you to be able to take control. I know you said that it didn’t hurt last time, but if I’m honest, I think you’re being a little economical with the truth, so you take me this time.’ He rubs his nose against mine. ‘I’ll support your weight if you need me to, but you decide how much you can take. It can be deep this way, it might still hurt,’ he whispers now and then his mouth is connected with mine.

  We sit, our arms wrapped around each other, kissing deeply and for such a long time I can feel the moisture between my legs soaking Carter’s lap. He feels it too and he breaks away from my mouth, his eyes smoked out with desire and anticipation. He sucks in a deep breath.

  ‘Do you want to try? I think you’re definitely ready, if my drenched thighs are anything to go by,’ he says wryly and I roll my eyes, my skin flushing. ‘Don’t be embarrassed,’ he whispers. ‘It’s such a fucking turn-on, you have no idea.’

  I grip his shoulders, putting my feet on the floor so that I can stand and I force my trembling knees to hold me up. My legs are parted wide, on either side of his muscular thighs and he puts his hands on my hips as I look down, taking hold of his arousal and positioning it underneath me. Carter’s eyes slide closed as I sweep a bead of pre-cum seeping from the tip.