‘He’s a friend of Carter’s,’ I say coolly and there’s a beat of silence, the atmosphere dropping by degrees as soon as Aaron hears the words. I wonder suddenly if he knows anything about my first encounter with Carter Jackson on Saturday night, but when I swing my eyes to him, it’s clear he knows nada. All the colour has drained from his face as I push ahead and I turn to him now, including him in the conversation.
‘Aaron, Don and Gem are already aware, but I met someone on Saturday night,’ I say, my voice steady. ‘His name’s Carter, he’s twenty three and he’s studying a Masters at the University.’
I shouldn’t be bragging about Carter’s educational achievements, but they’re part of him, who he is and it’s not a lie. I’m not hiding anything about my man from anyone, and least of all Aaron Palmer. I pause, lifting an eyebrow at him, but he says nothing, just stares at me, his face pale but expressionless.
This is as awkward as hell and I turn to Donna and Gemma again, needing to break the stony silence that’s fallen over us all.
‘Yeah, so – anyway – Rupert’s single and Carter and I have plans to get you guys together one night,’ I say, trying to grin, but I can feel Aaron’s eyes boring into the side of my head. I take a deep breath and turn to him. If he’s got something to say, he needs to just spit it the hell out, not sit there simmering.
‘So where is he?’ he says, his voice flat.
‘In Dorset,’ I reply. ‘He’s got some family stuff to sort out.’
Aaron curls his lip. ‘Got a rich daddy, has he?’ he says nastily and my mouth drops open.
‘Excuse me? What the fucking hell is wrong with you?’ I snap. How dare he? He’s not backing down though, his gaze even and locked coldly with mine.
‘I’ll just bet he’s good looking, too,’ he drawls, shaking his head sadly and standing up, with his empty glass in his hand. ‘He’ll shit all over you, Pearl, I’m sorry to say. You deserve someone better.’
Like you?
I scream the words in my head, but I don’t release them. This night is going to be fucked very soon unless he winds his neck in and he’s got one chance at doing so. I stand myself now, my own glass is empty, as are the two girls’. I pick them up.
‘You don’t know him, Aaron.’
‘And you do?’ he fires back. ‘You’ve known him, what – six days and you’re all starry eyed! You need to take your foot off the gas!’
Donna and Gemma exchange a worried look as Aaron and I start to wander over to the bar.
‘Aaron, with all due respect, what I do in my personal life, who I see and whether I have sex with them is my business and nothing at all to do with you!’ I realise just what I’ve said when he stops dead and I turn to look at him.
‘You’ve slept with him?’ he says hoarsely and now he does look agonised, his eyes skipping across mine frantically, as if begging me tell him that it’s not true. That I haven’t given my virginity to another man. I pang for a moment. Poor Aaron. If he’d been waiting for me to give it to him, he’d have been waiting forever. He needs to find himself a girlfriend and I wonder whether I need to take a step back from our friendship, until he has. This must be torturing him.
He’s chewing his lip as he waits for my reply but I’m not going to lie to him. I hadn’t intended to tell my friends that Carter had made love to me, least of all Aaron, but I blurted it out without thinking.
‘Yes, Aaron, we’re sleeping together. We’re together,’ I say, emphasising the word and my eyes soften as I see the pain in his. ‘Look, Aaron. I’m really sorry. I know that you still have feelings for me. I wish you didn’t – I really do. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will never feel about you the way I do about Carter Jackson. Please try and understand.’
We’re standing in the middle of a crowded bar, people glaring at having to squash their way around us and I turn, moving out of the way and to the edge of the bar, which is quiet, no one waiting. Aaron follows me, his shoulders slumped. I’ve done this to him, and I wish I hadn’t but I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve just fallen in love.
I lean on the bar and he joins me, pushing his empty glass away from him dejectedly. He says nothing for a moment, but then I see him turn his head towards me and I look at him.
‘You need to try and accept this, Aaron. Carter is part of my life, a huge part. It might be better if we don’t see each other as much, if you’re struggling to handle it.’
He snorts, giving me a nasty smirk.
‘Don’t flatter yourself! I’m fine.’
I don’t take offence at his words and I understand his need to say them. He drops his head, kneading his nose for a moment.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’ A sad smile now and he leans towards the bartender as he approaches, ordering all the drinks. ‘I just want you to be happy, Pearl. I’m your friend and I’ll always be here for you,’ he says. As much as I appreciate the words, I get the vague hint that they’re loaded with something else, something that he hasn’t said. He bit it off before the words could escape. I’ll always be here for you… when he breaks your heart.
We pick up the drinks and make our way back over to the tables. Donna and Gemma’s heads come up when they see us and they give us wary looks.
‘You two okay?’ Gemma asks, raising an eyebrow and nodding her thanks as I hand over her refreshed glass.
‘Yeah, we’re good,’ I say lightly, throwing a smile to Aaron and he paints one on, sitting down next to Donna and sipping at his drink. He smiles and laughs in all the right places, but his mood is in his boots, I’ve totally destroyed his night out.
You’ve destroyed more than that. You’ve destroyed his hopes and his dreams for the future. A future with you.
The next couple of hours tick but by now the mood has gradually lightened, even Aaron cheers up slightly, due to the conveyor belt of JD. I’ve had four Southern Comforts now and I’m not feeling any pain at all. This is far better than wine, even the intoxication feels different, less in my face, softer round the edges, warmer in my belly. As nine approaches, I drain the last of my drink and stand up.
Gemma and Donna are on the little dancefloor, on their own, waving their hands about to eighties cheese and I wave at them as I go – pointing to the ladies and they wave back. Aaron’s sitting scrolling through his phone, but the smile he gives me when I move away is at least genuine.
It’s busier now and I move through the throng, pushing my way gently until I reach the side of the bar, the door to the ladies right in front of me. As I head towards it, I’m suddenly grabbed around the wrist from the left and when my head shoots around, my hand up to slap the face of whoever has the audacity to put their hands on me, a thin cry leaves me.
‘Hello, baby,’ he whispers.
Twenty Two
I stare up at him in the dim light, my fingers clutching desperately at his finely knitted shirt. It’s blood red, the colour suits him perfectly, making his burnished curls almost glow. Our faces are now only an inch apart and my eyes slide shut with pleasure when I feel his warm breath seep into my mouth. I breathe deeply through my nose, his unique scent firing every synapse and making my legs weaken. He feels the strength leave my body as he laughs quietly, wrapping his arms around me. I force my heavy eyes open and lock with his.
‘Carter… what the fuck… what, how…’ It’s pathetic as usual, he’s scrambled my brain. His eyes skip across mine, and I can see him searching them, looking for the same things that I’m trying to read in him. My heart slams – I know why he’s here. He couldn’t stay away any longer, it’s sitting clearly in the mesmerising green.
‘Are you pleased to see me?’ he whispers, his lips so close to my ear that I shiver when he breathes the words. Oh God. I’m weak, helpless with desire – I can’t think of anything else. I’m raging inside with want and I can’t answer him. I moan instead, locking my mouth with his and he gasps, breaking away for a second to speak.
‘Oh fuck… you have no idea how much I
need this,’ he groans and then his mouth is back on mine, his tongue near my throat as he French kisses me into oblivion. I’m trying not to writhe against him after two minutes, but it’s virtually impossible and when I slide my hand up the front of his jeans, feeling the heat pounding from his groin, he breaks away from my mouth, almost glaring down at me.
‘Pack that in, right now – or we’re going in those toilets. I mean it,’ he growls, his tongue coming out again to intertwine with mine, his own eyes sliding shut with pleasure at the sensation. I wickedly ignore his plea and squeeze his cock now and he barks a laugh.
‘I’m serious, don’t push me on this.’ He bites his lip as he lifts an eyebrow. ‘Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to drive three hundred miles with a raging hard-on?’
I snigger and lean my forehead against his heaving chest, my heart slamming. I clench my eyes shut with utter glee.
He’s here! Tonight!
I’ve never felt joy like this. I know I’ve had a few drinks but I’m intoxicated on life and high on love. The head over heels love that I feel for this incredible man in front of me and I stroke his face, tipping my head up to lock with his smiling eyes once more. I run my hand through his curls and he groans again.
‘How did you…?’ I ask and then roll my eyes as he grins. ‘You tracked my phone, didn’t you? Stalker!’ Carter really laughs now and my eyes shine as I look up at him. I don’t give a toss, he can stalk me to the ends of the earth.
‘I wanted to surprise you,’ he says softly and I nuzzle into his neck.
‘You’re the best surprise!’ I kiss his chin. ‘Come and meet my friends!’ I’m bouncing now as he pushes himself away from the wall, dipping to kiss me once more, as if he seriously can’t help himself.
‘Weren’t you going in there?’ he nods to the Ladies and I hesitate. I was, but I don’t want to now. I don’t want to leave him. He sees me prevaricating. ‘Do you want me to come in there with you?’ he asks and my heart turns over. Hell yeah, I do, but I want to wait until we get home. I feel even more excitement when I remember that I’m on shots now and we don’t need condoms. I flash him a megawatt smile and I see his eyes change.
‘I’d love you to come with me, Carter, but then we won’t come out. I’ll be two minutes.’ I hurry away from him. It’s the quickest pee and hand-wash in history. I don’t even look at my reflection, I don’t give a toss what I look like. My man likes what he sees and that’s all I care about.
As soon as I’m through the door, my arms are around him again. This is ridiculous – anyone would think we’ve been apart for month, and we’re in a fledgling relationship, but the chemical ties and physical attraction between us is off the scale. We’re both powerless to resist.
Putting him down finally, I take his hand and lead him back over to the table. Aaron’s disappeared, but so have the glasses, he’s no doubt gone to the bar. Gemma and Donna are sitting talking, obviously having had enough of making a spectacle of themselves on the dancefloor and as we approach, Gemma looks over at me and smiles.
Doing a comical double take, her mouth drops open. She nudges Donna and the two of them stare wordlessly up at us both as we reach them. Carter pulls a spare stool over, sitting down between Gemma and I, running a hand through his unruly curls and giving my friends a wide smile. He holds out his hand and they both take it wordlessly in turn.
‘I’m Carter, it’s great to meet you,’ he says, lacing our fingers. The girls introduce themselves and I smile as I see them go into subliminal flirt mode. They don’t realise they’re doing it – the girlish giggles and hair-flicking must be hardwired into them somewhere.
I lean my head on Carter’s shoulder and his eyes smile down at me. ‘Do you want a drink?’ I ask and he shakes his head, planting a soft kiss on my nose.
‘No thanks, baby. I’m driving,’ he says. ‘I’ll get something soft in a bit.’ He lets go of my hand gently and I pang for a moment at the loss of him. I needn’t have worried. He runs a hand around the back of my neck, gripping my nape, his fingers stroking my skin softly and my nerve endings respond immediately. The together ache is back, the feel of his fingers and what they ignite in me flooding me with soft bolts of pleasure in time with my leaping heart. He laughs at something that Donna’s just said, but my head shoots up as I hear the scornful words from my left.
‘Well, well – I suppose this is superman then, is it?’
I shoot my head over my shoulder to see Aaron, holding four drinks in his hands. He bends, placing them on the polished table before stepping away and re-taking his stool next to Donna.
I open my mouth to bark something caustic but Aaron’s speaking again, his cold eyes locked with Carter.
‘Thought you were in Southampton?’ he says, hiking a cocky brow. I look up at Carter. His fingers are still stroking the back of my neck, but he pulls me fractionally closer to him, making his position very clear to Aaron and he gives him an easy smile.
‘Dorset, actually, but now I’m here,’ he says mildly. ‘Is that a problem for you?’
Aaron tosses his drink back. ‘That depends, mate, on whether or not you’re going to shit all over my best friend,’ he fires and now I’m on my feet.
Fucking hell! Who put a quid in the dickhead?
My hands are clenched into fists at my sides and Carter also stands when he sees the state of me. I’m actually glad he has, I don’t trust myself not to punch my former friend. Our conversation at the bar has obviously meant nothing to him, he hasn’t got a prayer of dealing with my relationship with Carter and he probably had no intention of ever trying.
‘We’re leaving!’ I hiss at Aaron, my brown eyes dark and furious. ‘Do not try and contact me for a few days, Aaron, do you hear me? I’m serious.’ I turn to Donna and Gemma now. They’re wriggling uncomfortably on their stools, not knowing where to look.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say to them both in a low voice, ‘but I’m not sitting here and listening to his shit.’ I throw a disdainful glance at Aaron over my shoulder – he’s now got his head bowed. ‘I’ll give you a ring tomorrow?’
Aaron suddenly shoves himself to his feet. He swipes his jacket from the back of the chair, shrugging his body into it. He rakes a hand through his hair.
‘Don’t bother leaving, Pearl – I am. I can’t sit here and watch this, anyway – I think I’m going to puke,’ he snarls, but before I can answer him, he shoulders roughly past Carter, barging him rudely and then he’s gone, pivoting to the left towards the doors to the bar.
‘Fuck!’ I drop my head, shaking it in frustration. Carter turns me to him, kissing my forehead gently. He wouldn’t have to be Einstein, although he’s probably not all that far off, to realise that my ex-boyfriend clearly doesn’t want to let go and his eyes are soft with understanding as he gazes down at me. He suffers with the same affliction and I remember that I need to ask him if he’s spoken to Toria.
‘I’m just going to get a drink,’ Carter says, tipping his head around me to look at Donna and Gem, raising his eyebrows. They nod and thank him and he lets go of me, collecting the glasses and pausing before moving away. He looks down at the empty receptacles in his hands.
‘What are you drinking, baby?’
‘Southern Comfort,’ I reply huskily. I’m not trying to sound seductive, but I’m a bag of want, the alcohol merely adding jet-fuel to my inner fire. He nods and gives me a dimpled half smile as I retake my seat, draining the drink that Aaron bought before he steamed out. Donna looks at me sadly.
‘What the hell was all that about?’
‘He’s less than impressed that I’m with Carter. He’s been harbouring hopes that one day we’ll get back together, but it isn’t going to happen,’ I say. ‘I’ve tried more than once to get the message over to him, but he’s blind and deaf to it. If he doesn’t rein it in then I’m not going to hang out with him for a while.’
Gemma nods. ‘It’s a shame, he obviously can’t help how he feels, but you can’t have him talking to Car
ter like that! He was downright rude to him!’
Carter returns with the drinks and retakes his seat and I push Aaron and his green sack of jealousy out of my mind. The four of us chat and laugh as a group, both women falling more and more under Carter’s spell as the night wears on.
I drink another three Southern Comforts. How many is that I’ve had now? I really haven’t a clue, I’ve totally lost count. Seven, eight? Shit. Far too many, that’s for sure and when I realise that my chin has gone completely numb, I slide my hand onto Carter’s thigh. It’s late and I need to get him home.
‘Shall we make a move?’ I say as casually as I can, when in reality, I’m longing to pelt from the pub. I’m not capable of pelting anywhere, sadly, due to being an idiot and drinking far too much neat spirit. My stomach stirs uneasily for a moment. It’s empty of everything else and it’s not happy.
Carter nods immediately and we all make our way out of the bar, Gemma and Donna bringing up the rear and chatting quietly as we group on the pavement. I try not to stagger. I’m not even wearing heels, but the cracks in the pavement keep moving and it’s not my fault I can’t follow them.
Carter has his arms around me and he knows I’m smashed. I try to hold my head up, but it flops onto his chest and I close my eyes. His deep voice resonates sweetly through my foggy skull.
‘I’m going to get Pearl home. She’s had too much to drink.’
I try to raise my head, but when I do, my mouth fills with saliva and my stomach clenches. I grit my teeth – I need to keep my mouth shut. I am not throwing up all over Carter’s shoes.
Shoving him away from me suddenly, seeing the momentary shock in his face at my rough actions, I stagger away from him to the kerb where I double over and vomit again and again. I cough and choke, my eyes streaming and then he’s there. He strokes my back, holding my hair away from my face and I clench my eyes shut with humiliation and regret that I’ve done this. I bend over, gasping and holding my knees. Carter’s driven halfway across the country to get to me today and he’s rocked up to a drunken, vomiting mess. Fuck.
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