by Kris Buendía
I get up from the chair and walk in circles.
Looking for the right words. Trying not to have a heart attack. Trying not to run away and hit Gideon, or my friend. But I can not. I can not.
“You are my best friend! Mona, you are mine, MINEEEE.”
Her face looks confused.
“That is the same thing he said about you. Or, at least, that is what he implied.”
“How could lie to me al this time?”
“No, Cinder. I did not lie to you. Gideon is a very reserved man. As wel as you. Nobody here knows that we are friends. You and me.”
No I can not believe it.
“You are my best friend. “
“I am and Gideon knows it. As wel as if he hurts you I wil go through his head.”
“Real y?”
“Yes, real y. I have known Gideon for a long time and I have never seen him like that before. He is excited with you.”
“Gideon's face is anything but emotion.” I mock.
“You have to talk to him if you real y are not interested”
“And what if I was interested?”
That gets my friend's attention. It is the first time I say it out loud. I say those words out loud because I have never been interested in anyone.
“Then I must ask you to be honest with him about it. You are not a little girl and he is not a teenager. When Gideon wants something, he gets it and I do not talk about women.”
Part of me is happy that Mona know me better than myself. And it seems that I am not to the only one she knows. But if Gideon is so interested in me, he should be honest with me, his coolness I mean.
“I am afraid, Mona. I could fal in love with Gideon at any time. As much as I try not to think about him, I can't.”
“That sounds like you are fal ing in love.”
“But I can not, Paris would not leave me.”
“Fuck her. Gideon wil protect you.”
That is precisely what do not want. Gideon being always to my rescue as if I were a Cinderella in distress and he my spooky prince.
It is not what I want. It is not what I wish. To fight. I am tired of fighting for what I want. For what I deserve.
“Gideon wil keep asking questions, you know.”
“I know very wel what to answer.”
I say goodbye to Mona. What she just told me does not fit in my chest, but now everything makes sense. She talked about him al the time as if she knew him and something tel s me that my friend’s intention is that. That I knew Gideon.
When I get home I find grandpa watching a movie.
“Hi, grandpa.”
“Who are you?”
I laugh softly. He will never get tired.
“The fairy of the grandparents.” I mock him and he begins to laugh.
“You are a very sad fairy. You are supposed to have to grant me a wish.”
“I thought there were three of them.”
He drop me on the couch next to him. Mom should be in the kitchen preparing dinner and Pin will arrive at any time.
My phone does not stop vibrating inside my pants so I check what it is about.
When I see the number of missed calls and messages, I incorporate myself as a spring when guessing who it is.
Unknown
Do you dare to leave me again?
Do I have to remind you of something?
G?
Gideon.
Little Cinderella, where are you? I looked for you in Le Dome and you where not there. Is there something you are not telling me?
I have to take an emergency flight to England, I wanted to say goodbye to you.
“How did he get my number?”
“If he has money he can get that and even your address.” Replies my grandfather and I realise that I said that out loud.
“Grandad, it is impolite to snoop on someone else's business.”
“You are not someone, you are the grandpa fairy.”
Pib comes home and throws his toolbox aside.
He looks at me a little suspicious and then at grandpa.
Also he notices that my mother is not
near.
“There is luxurious van parked outside. I thought they had made a mistake until a man came out of it and asked for you.”
“What?” I open my eyes wide. “Would you not have said yes, right?”
“He said he was a friend of yours, it was an emergency. If you want, I will let him in, I told him to wait.”
“No!” I get up from the couch and comb my hair reflexively. Pib and grandpa now look at me somewhat confused. “I wil go. Sure he is one more sel er.”
“He did not look like a salesman.”
I
hasten to leave with a nervous laugh.Grandpa and Pib do not say anything when they see that I continue to fix my hair. I rush down the smal stairs that face the street and that is when I see him. Standing, leaning against the door of the truck and Arsen inside, waiting for him. I stop at a ridiculous distance, forcing my legs back to the house.
He seems tired. He is wearing a dark navy blue shirt and no jacket, he also has removed his tie. As much as I like to see him in a suit, I can not deny that looking like this, relaxed, looks handsome.
He takes his hand out of his pocket and holds it out for me to approach.
I do not do it.
“What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”
He does not seem to like my questions. Arsen pul up the window to give us more privacy as if I needed it. He should already know that his boss can be a pain in the ass without effort.
“I should start with the questions, don't you think?”
“Don't. Please go, Gideon. Not here.”
“Your father was kind. He even invited me to come in but that would had caused you a heart attack, you can not deny that I did wel to stay here.”
“Yes, you have done wel . But staying here does not help at al .”
How do I move from where I am? He does it first. He walks towards me and while he does it, he is devouring me with his eyes from head to toe.
Images of what he did the other night come to my mind and I find it hard to keep my eyes fixed.
I try to back away but I can not get it when he puts his hand inside my shirt and brushing my skin attracts me to him.
“Do you have any idea what goes through my mind when I see you angry?”
Drink.
I can imagine it. Better not. I do not want to imagine it.
“Gideon...”
His lips find mine, slowly and decisively to take what is his. He kiss me softly, while his hot hand rubs the bare skin of my waist. My hands come alive and seek for his touch. I hug his waist and intensify our kiss.
When I think we can be like this for hours, a cold and resentful wind makes me break the kiss.
Gideon takes my face so I con look at him in the eye.
“You should stop fighting against the inhuman, El a.”
Inhuman?
“I am not fighting against anything. I do not even know what that means.”
“The urge to be away from me, is inhuman.
You belong me, El a. No matter how much you resist, it to me. Do not you notice?”
Yes and because I realise that, I hate it. I hate that my mind betrays me too. But then I remember Mona's words that she had never seen him as excited as now.
“When are you going to smile at me?”
He raises an eyebrow at my strange question.
“That is also inhuman.”
I do not understand how he can say something like that. Smile is as human as kissing me.
Although his kisses send me to another dimension.
“You say that smiling is inhuman. I wonder what do you think when you see me smiling.”
He takes my hand and, as a gentleman, brings it to his mouth. He tickles me with his beard and I smile when he kiss is it.
“Nothing you give me is inhuman, El a. From your smile, your look, your kisses, your body a
nd your pleasure, they are a gift for me. I would not settle for less.”
“Oh.”
“Yes and you better never stop giving it to me.”
Gideon Graysson looks like another man. Who would that after having him my virginity made, part of his ice, melt. And here he is, looking like a madman. Conforming to give him what he likes on the street, outside my house.
CrazyI would be if that did not make me fal in love. And the truth is yes.
“Cinder, honey?”
Shit.
My mother goes out in company of Pib and they see Gideon and to me hugging. I put him aside quickly and he does not seem as nervous as I am.
“Mom, I wil go in right away.”
“Who is your friend?”
I hear my mother go down the stairs and reach me in a matter of seconds.
“He is not my...”
“Gideon Graysson.” He says holding his hand.
my mother's face says it al . He has dazzled her too. Gideon stays serious and my mother does not stop smiling.
“Aurora, Cinder’s mother.” My mother wipes her hand on her apron before handling it to Gideon.
He does not seem to mind and he looks at her with the greatest respect, although serious, that simple gesture makes him look human. «Something that I thought he was not.»
“Cinder, invite your friend to come in, it is a little cold out here.”
“I do not think that...”
“I would be delighted, Mrs. Mattis.”
My mother's smile fades when she heard my father's last name. But she quickly conceals smiling again.
Gideon realises this and looks at me sideways.
He seems to understand with the look that I wil explain him later.
“The pleasure is ours. Not every day we have visitors.”
My mother is the first to go in and Pib opens the door for everyone. Gideon's hand on my lower back protecting me, makes me feel better. It is like somehow I relax.
God help me and may this not be a bad idea. I know his intention. He is marking territory in front of my family. My mother is not a fool and neither am I.
Gideon does not seem to regret his actions and does not look uncomfortable being inside. My house must be ridiculous for powerful men like him.
But he does not seem to care. He does not stop looking at me and although his seriousness is not symptom of anger, «more or less» he looks relaxed.
“He is my grandad, Gus.”
“Nice to meet you, sir.” He holds out his hand.
“Gideon Graysson.”
My grandad looks at him and then at me.
“What do you sel ?”
I laugh and Pib also.
“Excuse me?” Gideon says confused.
“Mr. Graysson is a friend of Cinder, Gus.”
Respond Pib. “He does not sel anything.”
Grandpa takes with curiosity Gideon's hand.
“In my time, being a friend meant another thing. Are you one of those friends?”
“Grandpa!—I rebuke him.”
Gideon sits next to me and my mother goes to the kitchen. Pib sits on the other sofa and seems to be quite entertained with Gideon's visit.
“I do not know, it is up to her.” Gideon responds and I feel a jolt in my chest.
“Very gentlemanly. Women like my granddaughter must be taken without being expected. They are very, very stubborn.”
The corner of Gideon's lip raises a little. It is the most that looks like a smile.
“I agree.” Pib fol ows them.
“Cinder.” My mother cal s me.
“I wil come in a minute.” I say softly to Gideon.
“You wil be fine?”
“Should I be worried?”
I look at grandpa who is about to fal asleep and Pib watching television.
“More or less.” I joke and his face now looks worried. I laugh and kiss his cheek before leaving him there.
Grandpa will be curious and Pib wil love to play along.
When I meet my mother in the kitchen, I help her serve the drinks. I can feel her gaze and curiosity in the air.
“It he the friend from the other night?”
I look at her for a second and I laugh.
“I do not know, mom. Do you want him to be?”
“If he was the one who made you feel bad, no.
But if he is responsible for you being that excited, then yes.”
“Do you think I am excited?” I ask feeling a lump in my throat.
“Oh, honey, What is wrong?”
My mother takes my hand and I want to cry. I wish everything was so simple, but Gideon confuses me. He makes me want to believe in fairy tales and also hate them.
“Just look at him, mom.”
“I have seen him. I do not approve his beard at al , but he is handsome. So handsome that I wil tel Pib to let his three hairs of his face grow.”
“Oh, for God's sake.” I laugh until my stomach hurts. My laughter can with me. I wish I had not heard that.
“If you mean his expensive clothes and his tuck, do not let you that stop you. If he noticed my baby it is because there is a heart behind al that money that he can have.”
“Mom, we are very different. “
“Is there something you are not tel ing me, Cinder?”
I try not to look at her in the eyes, but my mother, from the moment she heard his last name, knows who he is. And because of that, she wants me to tel her.
“He is practical y my boss. Although he does not know it. We met at a party that Mona organised.”
“The one you looked like a princess.”
“I have not lied to him mom, if that is what you think.”
“But you did not tel him you work for him.”
conclude.
“He only knows that I work in a cafe.”
“If he did not care where you work or where you live, neither wil it matter to him to know that you work in his company.”
“I know, but I stil can not find the moment to tel him. I have not pretended to be another person with him.”
“And him?”
That is what I am finding put.
“Neither.”
He does not let go of my hand during al the time.
He has drunk three times the same green tea that my mother has prepared for him after tel ing her that it was another of his favourite drinks. My mother and Pib do not stop looking at each other while they listen to Gideon talking.
“If you al ow me, I can arrange an interview with human resources.” Gideon tel s Pib. “Your years of experience is what the technical department needs.”
“That would be great.” my mother tel s Pib.
“You have been complaining for years about company you work for.”
“I do not know.” Pib looks nervous and shocked. “I am already old. I do not think other companies want me.”
“With al due respect, sir. it is my company.
And I assure you that they wil want you.”
“Wel , since he insists. Thank you very much, Mr. Graysson.”
“Cal me Gideon.”
Oh my God. Now he wants to impress my family. I am happy for Pib, it would be a great opportunity for him, but I do not want to involve them too much in my little lie. I can not trust Gideon at this moment until I know in what position we are in.
Positions...
“Cinder, Gideon's company is not the same one in which you...”
“Yes, where Mona works.” I interrupt and I gesture to my mother to help me. “And also the party I went to.”
“Yes, darling. The party, do you remember?”
“But I did not meet Gideon at that party.” I do not know why I am lying, but I do it. I want my family to know that Gideon knew from the beginning who I was.
Gideon's hand is on my leg and he squeezes as soon as he hears me. I know he wil not like it.
“Gideon, would you like something to eat? So much tea might hurt you.”
“
No, mom. Gideon was leaving.” I look at him forcing me to smile. “Right?”
He shakes his head in response and puts his cup on the table.
“Yes, I must fly to England.”
“Now I know where that perfect accent comes from.” praises my mother and I can not wait to laugh. I am sure Gideon too but he is too serious to admit it. Sure they say it to him often.
“It has been a pleasure, Mr. Graysson.” Says grandpa.
“I hope to visit you soon.” My mother pushes me to accompany him to the door.
“I hope so.” It is al what Gideon says. “Thanks for the tea, ma’am.” He shakes hands with Pib.
“Sir.”
I almost pushed Gideon to get out of the intensity of my family. When we are final y alone, Gideon only knows to do one thing. He takes me by the waist and grabs my face with one hand to kiss me.
“I was dying for doing this inside.”
And I died because al this was real and simple, but the truth is that the reality can often hurt. Some things must remain hidden in our mind.
And simple, nothing is simple with Gideon.
“Are you mad at me?” Is he makes the question is because, at least, he has realised.
“I do not know what I feel, Gideon. But you should not repeat this.”
I know I am hurting him with my words.
“Why? I like you family. Even your grandfather, who spent the whole time I was there sleeping.”
That makes me smile.
“There it is, the smile I was waiting to see. The real one, not the pretended one you showed in there. Is there something you are not tel ing me?”
“It is not the time.” I avoid. “And I do not hide anything from you. It is just that I did not expect to see you here. I do not know what this is, Gideon.
You can play with me if I al ow it, I know where I am standing , but not with my family. Not with them.
He moves his head and do what I am not expecting.
He tries to smile.
“Are you smiling at me? You have a pretty twisted mind to wanting to smile for what I just told you.”
“I am doing what you provoke in me, El a.”
“To know my family and smile?”
“No” He pul s me closer to him. “Putting up-side-down and do the unimaginable.”
Pretty words. That does not change anything. I better come up with an excuse or tel him the truth once and for al . I wil give him the necessary clues.
If he real y cares that much and I belong him, let him find put by his own.