For Crying Out Loud: The laugh out loud romantic comedy that everyone's talking about! (The False Start Book 1)

by J. Preston

  “Not that you’ll win, sunshine, but I’m a fantastic cook. Don’t you worry about it.”

  I raise my eyebrow. He cooks? “Riiiight.”

  “I am!” he exclaims. “I’m basically a chef! I can even cook sushi!”

  “By definition,” I laugh. “You can’t cook sushi, but ok MasterChef, I’ll believe you... For now.”

  Aiden huffs but doesn’t respond. We stay quiet for a few more minutes until I decide to break the silence between us. Again.

  “Weather’s been a bit of a downer,” I say just as Aiden blurts, “Jenny, I’m really sorry.”

  “Huh?” I’m confused.

  "Really? You want to talk about the weather?" Aiden looks at me in disbelief.

  Well, what else did he want to talk about? My life story? No chance… Not because, since he ruined my life with that horrible kiss, I basically didn’t have a life... Yeah, definitely not.

  “What are you sorry about?” I glance his way.

  Stay High comes on through the speakers and he closes his eyes and gently rocks his head to the music.

  “What are you sorry about?” I ask again, frustrated.

  “Apart from that N’Sync flop, I like your taste in music so far.” He avoids my question.

  “Awesome. I was awaiting your approval. Now I can die in peace,” I say sarcastically. “Since we’ve gotten that out of the way, will you tell me what you are sorry about?” He looks out the window and then starts inspecting his cuticles.

  “Aiden,” I growl.

  “I like this song. It reminds me of you.” What. The. Hell? Did he just tell me that he thinks I can’t get over him? I clench my right fist in anger, my face getting red. I’m two minutes from pulling over and letting Clyde say hello to his face.

  “What?” I try to keep my voice calm. He clears his throat and rolls the window down, putting his arm out and making wave motions with his hand in the air.

  “I mean,” he clears his throat. “Never mind.”

  “Oh no, you don’t! How does it remind you of me?”

  “Well…” he starts again. “What I mean is... It’s well... I can’t keep you off my mind, no matter how hard I try.”

  My jaw drops all the way to the gas pedal and I swerve the car. Thank God there’s barely anyone else on the highway. I collect myself, gripping the steering wheel tighter and chance a quick glance at him. His face is flushed, and he is looking out the window, gazing at the oh, so beautiful, industrial scenery. After a really long silence, he straightens himself up and looks over at me. I avert my eyes back to the road, pretending I wasn't looking at him at all. This, this is beyond confusing.

  I hate him and he hates me. Is he saying he’s trying to be indifferent? Although, I don’t think I can honestly say I still hate him. He irritates the living shit out of me, but I don’t hate him. I dislike him, and I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did to me back in London… Which he has yet to apologize for!

  How dare this asswipe tell me he can’t get me out of his mind. What is that supposed to mean? And what the hell am I supposed to say to that? Guys...

  Urgh! Idiot guys!

  Deep breaths, Jenny. Deep freaking breaths.

  “Look, forget it,” he says just as I see our exit and indicate right, to get off the highway. I don’t reply; I just drive and fume. Pissed as hell. The audacity!

  Ok, so maybe I’m overreacting, but I am really, really upset that while he was off living his life, he unintentionally ruined mine and...well, now I have no experience with boys. Like zero experience, so how in the name of all that is holy am I supposed to know how to react to such statements? Cue my fury. In my head, that’s the right way to react. Plain and simple.

  The parking lot is empty. Swell! No one here to witness Aiden’s gruesome murder! Thank God for small favors. I switch off the engine and jump out, rage propelling my movements.

  Maybe I should have calmed down before jumping out. Maybe then my flip-flop wouldn’t have gotten caught between the door and the seat. Maybe I wouldn’t be flying onto my hands and knees now. Maybe. Who knows?

  I land on my hands, scraping them on the asphalt, my right foot still in the car, left on the ground, butt in the air, face inches from the ground. Ouch!

  Within seconds, Aiden is by my side.

  “Are you ok?” He panics, dislodging my foot. I whine, tears pooling in my eyes, the determination not to cry slowly diminishing. Aiden’s eyes are glued to my butt. Butt, which is now fully exposed since my sundress flipped up over my hips... Fabulous.

  “Will you stop looking at my killer ass and help me up?” I bark out, tired of his antics.

  “It is spectacular. Truly, it should be framed and put up in Tate Modern for everyone to look at it in awe,” he says wistfully, helping me up. “Then again, no, I wouldn’t want anyone else looking at it.” His eyes are dark and he is still looking at my butt, quite possessively. Someone, please write a manual on guys. I'm lost here. Who’s the female equivalent of Neil Strauss? I need help!

  My hands and knees are nowhere near as bad as I thought they would be, just a minor scratch on my left palm. Lucky. I make a move to pull my sundress down, then think better of it and take it off completely.

  Aiden’s eyes are wide as he is scanning my body in the white bikini. I smirk at him, throw my dress into the car, and stroll towards the water. Growing up a tomboy meant loads of sport and dangerous activities, which, in turn, meant a lot of scrapes and bruises, but also a body of which I am damn proud.

  “Get your stopwatch ready, you’re about to lose that bet,” I say over my shoulder. I reach the water and kick off my flip-flops. Aiden is a few steps behind me, probably staring at my butt again. “Ready?” I turn around before walking into the water. Aiden nods, holding up the stopwatch and dropping the towel on the sand. He sits on the towel and waits, his eyes still roaming all over my body. I shiver as a chilly breeze touches my bare skin, take a deep breath, then turn back to the water and step forward.

  “Son of a motherless goat!” I shriek. The water is freezing. So cold, the Baltic Sea in Europe can forget about its first place in my Coldest Bodies of Water in the World ranking.

  “Cold?” Aiden laughs at me as I jump from one foot to another.

  “Nope,” I say in a high-pitched voice. “It’s lovely, truly like bathwater.” He bursts out laughing while I try to convince myself that getting into the water rather than turning around, walking over to Aiden, and strangling the smartass is a better option, or at least an option that will not end with a prison sentence. So far, I’m ankle-deep, and the prospects of going any further are looking slim. Maybe I should just run in?

  “I need your shoulders submerged to start the timer,” the keeper of time, also known as asshat, says mockingly. No, officer, I’m not guilty. He was being a major ass. You understand that’s punishable by strangulation, don’t you?

  Goddamnit! I am not cooking for him! That’s my new mantra, one that will drive me forward into the freezing water of San Francisco Bay. I take a couple more steps, goosebumps forming all over my body. I bounce on the balls of my feet and continue.

  I am not cooking for him!

  I walk further in the freezing water around my mid-thigh. Oh sweet baby Jesus! I jump from one foot to another, then in place. Then bounce parallel to the shoreline. I can do this!

  I am not cooking for him! I am not cooking for him! I am not cooking for him!

  I count to three and dunk!

  “Aaaaaaaargh!” Someone screams. No, sorry. Not someone. I do. “Start the damn stopwatch!” I shout, then try to swim, but the water is too cold and my muscles are stiff. Nonetheless, I persevere and start swim-walking.

  It appears I have found faith again as, between repeating my mantra, I prayed to anyone who’d listen for time to go faster.

  “Thirty seconds.” Aiden is standing on the shore, his toes barely touching the waterline. Smartass.

  Thirty seconds?

  Thirty seconds?!

&
nbsp; How is that even possible? It feels like I’ve been submerged for hours! My toes are turning numb and I do not know how, but I am sweating in the water. Why am I doing this again? I can’t remember. My teeth chatter and I try to walk the opposite way, but my muscles are really stiff, so I just stand there.

  “One minute,” Aiden is frowning, ankle-deep in the water. “Are you okay?”

  “Peachy!” I reply, my voice hoarse and shaky. How the frak has it only been one minute? I feel so cold; I have to close my eyes and try really hard to breathe. Did I forget to mention that I am a major wimp when it comes to the cold? I’m the person always wrapped in three blankets while everyone else is sporting shorts and t-shirts. This might not have been my best idea.

  “Jenny, if you’re cold just get out of the water.” His voice is pleading. I shake my head. If he thinks I’m quitting he’s dumber than I thought he was. I’d rather die. “Jenny…”

  “How long?” I interrupt, my voice with renewed power. No cooking, no cooking, no cooking! That was that the mantra, wasn’t it?

  “Five minutes.” Ha! Halfway. I close my eyes again, then open them instantly. What the hell was that? There was a shadow and I’m pretty sure it was a ginormous shark. The water is not so bad by now, probably cause I’m feeling numb. “Jenny please get out of the water, it’s not worth it.” I hear him say. Not worth it? Not worth it, my ass! Like hell, not worth it! Am I repeating myself? Why am I in the water again? I take a couple of steps forward, still fully submerged, but on bent knees, bent and really stiff. “That's it, love, just come out of the water.” Huh?

  Something slides over my leg and I shriek, losing balance.

  “Jenny!”

  I go underwater and the waves and stiffness of my joints are not helping. But the water actually feels okay now. My shaking body must have warmed it up. Friction and all that. Can you have friction with water? What happened to my brain? Oh my god, Jason’s dumbness finally rubbed off!

  Being completely submerged underwater actually feels much better than having my head out until the shark slithers against me again, and I open my mouth to scream. Water fills my lungs at the same time that a wave crashes into me. And everything goes blank.

  Warm, strong arms wrap around me. I’m no longer in the water. The air is so cold that I whimper. Something fuzzy wraps around me and I bounce in someone’s arms, Aiden’s arms, as I’m being carried somewhere. I let my head fall on his warm shoulder and have a coughing fit, splattering water over his chest.

  “I’ve got you.” He whispers into my hair as he carries me for a while.

  “Is she okay?” I hear a female voice.

  “I don't know! Do you have showers here, can I use one to warm her up? She’s freezing.”

  “Yeah, right this way.” The voice is nasal and too loud.

  Whatever was wrapped around me is ripped off, and I cling to Aiden like a shaking spider monkey when scolding hot water pours over my body. Like any sane person would, I scream.

  My eyes fly open and I try to wriggle out of Aiden’s grasp, but his hold on me is tight. He soothes me, stroking my hair and whispering into my ear. “It's okay, love, you'll be okay. You just got a bit cold.”

  I did not get a bit cold, goddamnit! A shark tried to eat me! But then he adjusts his hold on me, his hard chest pressing into my side and, for a minute, I forgot what I was going to say.

  “I’m okay. Think I was just in shock,” I murmur. The water feels tepid now that my body’s adjusted to it. Aiden exhales in relief and reaches for the knob to increase the water temperature. I look up at him. He's not as bad as I thought. He saved my life from a shark attack, and it was an enormous one, Jaws size at least. I suppose he could have changed in the last few years. I wriggle in his arms again, but he is not letting go.

  “Aide…” I say quietly, my voice hoarse. “Aide, I’m okay, you can put me down.” His jaw twitches and his grip tightens. “You scared me to death.” His eyes focus on mine. I want to look away, but I can’t. His green eyes have me under some magical spell. They are dark, like emeralds, and it feels like they're looking straight into my soul. “If something had happened to you…” He starts again. “God, Jason would kill me.” Is he seriously more concerned about what Jason would do than my near death?

  “Well, you saved me from the shark, so you’re good, you can put me down.” He doesn’t move, still looking at me. “Put. Me. Down!” I say, punctuating each word with a weak punch to his chest.

  “Okay, okay. So violent.” He puts me down, his arms still wrapped around me. I feel like a child next to him, he’s so big and feels so strong. He reaches over, pushing a wet strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers tracing down my jawline then neck, leaving a hot trail. My breasts are pressed against the upper part of his abs, and I have to tilt my head up to look into his face.

  Hold it!

  MY BREASTS ARE PRESSED AGAINST HIS ABS.

  We are both basically naked, bikini and swimming shorts excluded, and our bodies are touching. There is literally no space in between us for the water from the shower to get through.

  This is the closest I have ever been to a boy! Scratch that, he does not feel like a boy. Aiden, all hard ridges and muscles, definitely feels like a man.

  I must look like a deer caught in the headlights, because he lazily unwraps his right arm from around me and cups my face with his fingers, his thumb on my cheek, rubbing it gently.

  “Don’t ever scare me like this again. I just about had a heart attack when you stopped replying to me,” he says gently, and my knees basically decide to stop working. If it wasn’t for the fact that Aiden’s left arm is still firmly holding my body, I’d be on the floor.

  Melting into a puddle.

  I take a deep breath to calm myself down, but, as luck would have it, I swallow some shower water and start choking. I’m a professional mood killer. I should put that on my resume, right after Microsoft Office Skills.

  “Can we go home now?” I croak out. He nods and turns off the water, opening the shower door. There are a couple of fresh towels on the side. He grabs one of them and wraps it around me like a blanket, then reaches for the other one and puts it on top of my head, and the other towel. Not only do I feel like a small child, but by now I probably look like one too. Great.

  He puts his arm around me and I start shivering again but don’t dare speak for fear of having to go back into the shower with him again. I don’t think I’d be able to survive another minute with him in there. As we walk outside, a pretty, young woman is waiting for us.

  “Good, you’re okay,” she says looking at Aiden’s bare chest. I grit my teeth, but make no sound.

  “Yes, thank you for your help. We’d better get going though. Need to get this one somewhere warm,” Aiden replies.

  “Oh, sure…” She sounds disappointed. Then her face brightens. “Well if you ever need my help again,” she says, reaching behind her desk, “here’s my card.” She hands Aiden what looks like a business card. “Call me anytime... If you need...anything…” She winks at him suggestively, and the urge to roll my eyes wins over my politeness.

  “Sure... Thanks,” Aiden replies and takes the card from her. Suddenly, I feel really irritated. I turn around and stomp outside in a huff while Aiden flirts with the woman. The sun is shining again, warming my still cold skin. I notice we’re in the building next to the beach, probably a two-minute walk from where Kitt is parked.

  Aiden walks out and drops something in the trash. My heart skips a beat as I realize that was the business card he got from the women inside.

  “I tried paying for the towels you’re using, but Caroline insisted I just bring them back next time I’m here.” He scrunches his face, still managing to look beautiful. “I’d rather not... Do you mind putting on some warm clothes so I can give them back to her straight away?” I nod, irritated that he knows her name, but relieved at the same time that he doesn’t want to see her again. Caroline can suck it.

  “I only have th
e sundress,” I mutter.

  “I think I’ve still got some workout stuff in your boot, from back in the winter.” He smiles at me. “You’ll need to take off that wet bikini.” His smile grows bigger at the horror in my face. “Don’t worry, I’ll turn around.” He winks at me then grabs my hand and walks me over to the car. I’m still shivering a little, but I guess that’s a good sign. I hand him my keys and he pulls a duffel bag out of the trunk. From it, he takes out boxer shorts, grey sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a large hoodie.

  “Now change,” he orders, handing me the clothes. “Make sure you're properly dry before putting anything on.” I nod and he turns around.

  I guess I’m about to get naked in public. I look around and there is no one here except for Aiden and me. I rub my body with one of the towels then wrap myself with it, peeling the bikini bottoms off underneath it. I quickly put on the boxer shorts, then sweatpants. I then cover up my top and take off the bikini top. As I turn to grab the t-shirt that I put in the trunk, the towel slips and I squeal.

  “Jenny, what's wrong?” I feel a hot breath on my neck. I quickly cover my boobs with my arms.

  Turning red with embarrassment I say. “The towel slipped. Turn back around.”

  “Oh... Okay, not looking. I’m going to take the towels back. I’ll be back in a sec,” he says just as I pull the t-shirt over my head. I hand him the towels then reach for the hoodie, pulling it on and zipping it up. Bliss. “Oh and Jenny? I’m driving us back.” I nod as he runs off. The sweatpants and hoodie are massive on me, so I roll them up so that they fit me. I find a pair of socks in the bag and put them on as well.

  Finally I feel a bit warmer; the shivering has stopped. Relieved, I take a deep breath, which is when I smell it. I lift the top of the hoodie up to my nose and sniff again, just to make sure, and I have to sit down before I collapse in ecstasy. I could roll myself in this scent for the rest of my days! It is the most amazing thing I have ever smelled in my entire life, a mix of soap, citrus, and something earthy.