by J. Preston
“Right, after I basically accosted you in your sleep. Awesome talk.” I roll my eyes. “All week you have been avoiding me. You’ve barely spoken to me and…and… Have I done something so wrong to make you want to abandon me? I understand Aide would be all cowardly, but you’re my brother…. Is it because I kissed Aiden?”
Jason’s jaw clenches, and he looks away. “No Jenny, you did nothing wrong. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. Again.” He says. “I’m sorry. I haven’t abandoned you; I was just…ashamed.” His words hurt.
“Ashamed of me?” I ask incredulously.
“God, no!” He replies quickly, looking back at me. “When I saw you and Aiden, I got so angry. Earlier on, before your date, I told him not to take advantage of you, not to even touch you, not to do anything. I told him you were off limits. And then he kissed you and I lost it. I punched him.”
“You did what?”
“I punched him.” He hangs his head. “He didn’t fight back. He didn’t even block my punches, and I must have thrown at least three or four before I calmed down. It’s like he knew he deserved it.” My jaw drops.
“Did it ever occur to you that I might have wanted to kiss him? That he wasn’t the one taking advantage of the situation?” I ask.
Jason winces. “I’d rather not think of that possibility.”
“Well, you should, because it was fifty-fifty between us. It doesn’t matter now anyway, it’s not like he wants a repeat,” I mumble.
“What are you talking about?”
“He’s been gone this whole week and I haven’t heard from him once.”
“Urgh,” Jason growls. “It might be partially my fault.” He buries his face in his hands.
“Spill brother bear.”
“Well… Shit. Okay, so,” Jason stumbles on his words before taking a deep breath and collecting himself. “After I, errr, expressed my disappointment through the use of physical, uhmm, signs, I told him that if he values our friendship he’ll leave you alone. He promised he would.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, he agreed. Then about half an hour after our altercation, he received a phone call from his father. His grandmother is not well, so he took the earliest flight back home to be with his family. He’s in London at the moment.”
“And you’re only telling me this now?” I ask with disbelief. “He’s supposed to be my friend, too! He must have been so anxious about his grandma this past week, and I didn’t even know to ask about it!”
“Jenny, please don’t be mad at me. You know I’m a protective little shit. I love you, squirt, and I just want you to be happy.”
“I guess at least I know he’s alive and not ditched in the ocean by my overprotective brother… You know I’ll eventually date and kiss someone anyway, right?”
“To be honest, as much as it pains me to admit it, if you were to date anyone, Aiden would probably be my first choice.” His words ignite a spark of hope in me. Could Aiden and I ever be like that? Jason continues, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “But I want you to be sure that you want to be with him, that it’s not just because he’s the first guy you noticed that’s shown interest in you. And most of all, I need him to be serious about you. You’re my sister. Once he marries you he can kiss you all he wants… Otherwise, I’ll kill him.” I hug my brother, laughing.
“You are an overprotective little shit, aren’t you?” He nods. “Thank you, for trying to protect my honor and being an amazing brother. Can I ask you for a favor, though?”
“Sure.”
“I like Aiden.” Jason scrunches his face up. “I don’t know exactly how much or if it’ll go anywhere, but I really like him and I would be so grateful if in the future you’d try not to meddle so much. I want to learn things on my own and, if I ever need my big brother-”
“I’m always here for you.”
“I hoped you’d say that.” I smile at him.
“Now can I please go back to sleep? I got home at four a.m.”
“Work hard, play hard?”
“Play hard for sure.” He grins at me.
“All right then.” I say, getting up. “One more thing though…”
“Sure, what is it?” Jason plops his head on his pillows and sighs happily, closing his eyes.
“Don’t tell Aiden we had this talk, okay?”
“No problem, squirt. I think that’s definitely wise,” he says on a yawn. “Plus, if he really wants to be with you, he’ll fight for you no matter the repercussions. Men are like that.”
“Thanks, Jasypoo.”
As soon as I’m outside, I text Aiden. To hell with keeping it cool. I need to know if he’s okay and if his family is okay. That’s what any friend would do.
ME: Hi, I just heard about your grandmother. I hope everything is ok.
It should be afternoon in London, so hopefully he’ll see it soon. As much as I want to bombard him with questions, he’s got more important things to think about at the moment. I walk towards my room when my phone pings.
AIDEN: Hi, thanks for your text. My grandma is absolutely fine. My dad used her as an excuse to lure me back home for board meetings.
ME: Wow, that’s a low blow… Glad to hear your grandma was ok all along though! When are you back?
Three dots appear and disappear for a couple of minutes. My heart speeds up. Finally, his text comes through.
AIDEN: I’ll be back next week. Can we please talk then? I wanted to apologise for my behaviour after the date.
My fingers shake as I type a reply.
ME: Sure, what do you mean?
AIDEN: I shouldn’t have kissed you…
I drop to my knees. Five little words. Twenty-three letters. That’s all it takes to make my heart hurt. Why the hell is it hurting in the first place? I squeeze my eyes, ordering myself to keep it cool. Shakily, I type a reply.
ME: Is this because Jason punched you?
He texts back instantly.
AIDEN: Jason was right to punch me. I’m really sorry.
The phone slips through my fingers and falls to the floor. Men fight for what they want…
It’s silly, really. At the back of my head, somewhere deep, behind a pair of heavy metal doors, I think I hoped that he wanted to be with me as much as I was starting to realize I want to be with him. I guess hell has a new pavement built just for me, one made out of hope rather than good intentions.
My phone pings again and I pick it up, thinking that maybe it’s Aiden apologising for his last text, claiming temporary insanity. But hell just laughs in my face and, next to my pavement of hope, erects a cute little house with a white picket fence and a freaking dog in its backyard made out of wishful thinking.
The disappointment cuts me to the bone.
CARTER: WHATCHA UP 2 GRSHPPR? WANNA HANG?
I clench Bonnie to my chest, willing the hurt away and slowly get up. Last thing I need right now is to be alone and moping. There's not a guy on this planet, except Ryan Gosling, that deserves the tears of a woman. I will not let some guy, except Ryan Gosling, make me feel like I’m not worth a fight. Carter is exactly what I need right now. I grab my bag and car keys and jog outside.
ME: I’ll be at yours in 5.
Not that I’m counting how long it’s been since Aiden’s rejection, but I’m outside of Carter’s apartment in 4 minutes 20 seconds. I ring the bell and tap my foot impatiently, waiting for him to open the door. When he does, I fall into his arms, realizing just how much I need a hug and someone to tell me that everything will be okay.
“Grasshopper, what’s wrong?” he asks, holding me tight and stroking my back. I take a deep breath and untangle myself from Carter’s embrace, determined not to cry. Why would I cry anyway, it’s not like I’m in love? I just… Really like him… And that kiss… I want more of that kiss…
“Aiden’s a spineless piece of British crap,” I blurt out.
Carter chuckles and pats my head, guiding me inside. “Tell me something I don’t know. Wait here. In anticipa
tion of your arrival, I got some tasty supplies.” He sets me down on the couch.
“Please tell me it’s Cookie Dough BJ,” I whine. Carter stops in his tracks halfway to the kitchen, then walks backward, retracing his steps to me..
His eyes are huge. “Really? How do you even go about it? Do you just spread the cookie dough all over it?”
“Err no, you just stick the whole thing in the bowl, obviously.”
“The whole thing?” He looks at me, then at his crotch, then back at me. I narrow my eyes.
“BJ, as in Ben & Jerry's, you perv!” I exclaim, laughing. I knew coming here was the right move.
“Oh… Oooooh, I get it. No, I don’t have ice cream… I thought you were being awfully forward…propositioning me like that.” He grins, making me groan. I throw a pillow at him, which he ducks then runs off to the kitchen, coming back with a bag of popcorn. He is certainly getting brownie points for that move.
“My hero!” I take the bag from him and rip it open, digging in and spilling some popcorn on the couch in the process.
“There she is!” Carter laughs, plopping down on the sofa next to me. “The Gollum has returned!” I just nod and swallow a large handful of popcorn, ladylike, of course. Maybe not. “So what’s up little one? Why is Aiden on our naughty list?” I sigh, chew the popcorn, then swallow and sigh again.
“We kissed.” Carter raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“Was it as bad as the last time? Did you run away again?” He laughs.
“Har-har, very funny. It was better this time around… No, that’s an understatement; it was amazing.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“Jason punched him then told him to stay away. Now Aiden is in London and says the kiss was a mistake.” I pout.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Well, I know for a fact that Aiden is crazy about you.”
“And I know for a fact that he doesn’t want a repeat performance!”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure.” I sigh. “He basically said Jason was right to punch him and tell him to stay away…”
“Awww, grasshopper.” Carter pulls me into his chest. “Could it be-” He stops mid sentence.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Kennedy. Could it be what?”
“Well, could it be that you’re a horrible kisser and he doesn’t want to do it again?” I punch him.
“You can be such a dick!”
He raises his hands in surrender. “What?! I’m just saying, if you ever need to practice you know where to find me.”
“As if!”
“Don’t dismiss it before you try it. Plus, you were the one offering BJs earlier on… Just saying.” I punch him again and we both start laughing.
“Ugh! What do I do, Carter?” I ask once we calm down. “I mean, what am I supposed to do with this shit?”
“Trust me, grasshopper, he won’t be able to stay away for too long. You’re too good for him anyway, and he knows it. If he’s got even one brain cell in that empty British head of his, he’ll fight for you.”
“But Jason basically told him that if he ever touches me again their friendship is over.”
“I’d just like to point out that he never said anything like that to me, so if you ever need a man.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m yours, as is Little C.”
“Right.” I smirk. “He’s never said that to you cause you’re not an actual threat.”
“Ouch!” Carter puts his hand over his heart. “Straight through the heart, grasshopper, straight through the heart!”
“Honestly though, what do I do? You’re a guy, you should know!”
“Well, you could dress in short skirts and revealing tops, for starters. That would benefit us all.” I roll my eyes. “Jenny, just give him time and talk to him when he’s back, but don’t push it, just gauge what he’s feeling. Guys are complicated, not that anyone cares…” I smile. “In the meantime, I’ll devise a bulletproof plan to get him red hot jealous.”
“Huh?”
“Oh my god, I can feel the super villain cogs in my brain turning already!”
“You’ve got a brain? That’s new.”
“Stop it, grasshopper, or I won’t help you.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Sorry,” I say sheepishly.
“You’re forgiven.” Carter nods graciously in my direction. “So it’s decided, if you can’t wait for little Aiden to take his time coming to terms with his feelings, we will make him jealous. I’ll think of something awesome.”
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
13 Plenty More Fish
When life gives you lemons, put them in your bra! It won’t solve your problems, but the extra attention is nice.
- Jenny
Aiden
The drive from the airport back to the house is pretty quick, considering it’s Friday afternoon. The closer I get to Starwood, the quicker my heart beats in anticipation of seeing her again. Will she even want to look at me? We’ve had no contact since our exchange last weekend, where I apologised for the kiss, which doesn’t surprise me. I was an asshole. Dismissing what we shared like it didn’t mean a thing, like it was a mistake, like it wasn’t the hottest damn kiss I’ve ever had. I wonder if she knows that the words I typed hurt me as much as they did her. If they hurt her at all, that is.
I press my foot harder against the accelerator, not really caring about speed limits, wanting to get to her as fast as possible. Minutes tick by as I get stuck in traffic, so close… It’s infuriating knowing that if I just left my car in the middle of the road now, I could walk faster than the crawling speed I’m currently driving at. The irritated drivers around me beep their horns like it’ll help. It doesn’t; it just makes everyone else that much more pissed off. When I finally arrive at the house, what feels like decades later, her car is parked outside. She’s here.
I breathe in and look at my reflection in the small mirror. My bruises are almost gone, there’s just a slight yellow tint around my eye and on the side of my jaw. My father nearly flipped out when I arrived in London, all beaten up. Serves him right for luring me down to attend board meetings pretending that Grandma was sick. When she found out he did that, she screamed at him for thirty minutes straight. I smile, remembering. Not that he was bothered.
“Have you declared your major yet, Aiden?” He kept on pestering me. “You’re in your second year, you’ve got until Christmas to decide on a business degree. If you don’t— Let’s just say you’ll be back in London before you know it.” I clench my fists, remembering his words. Should I just suck it up and go for the stupid business degree, live the rest of my life unhappy and following in his footsteps?
And then there’s Jenny.
I run my hand through my hair, exasperated. Jason has been my best friend for so long. He was so angry when he found Jenny and me kissing. That kiss. That Earth-fucking-shattering kiss… I can never repeat it. But I can relive it in my head over and over. I close my eyes, doing just so. The door to the house is unlocked and, when I walk in, the living room is empty, so I go to my room and drop my bag on the bed. I’m trying to figure out my next move when I hear laughter from Jenny’s room and decide that it’s probably for the best to get our ‘talk’ over with. Hoping that she’ll be able to forgive me and still be my friend, I knock on her door. I need her in my life, even if it’s just in a friend’s capacity.
“Look who decided to grace us with their presence,” Hayley mocks. I’m not even bothered. Instead I peer above her shoulder into the room, Jenny is sitting on the bed surrounded by books.
“Can I talk to Jenny?” I ask. She’s avoiding looking my way and, at the sound of my voice, her fists clench.
“Jenny is busy,” Hayley replies, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Right… When will she be free?” Hayley turns her head to look at her. Jenny sighs, gets up from the bed, and walks towards me. My heart sk
ips a beat.
“I don’t really have time for jerks these days,” she says.
“Jenny, I’m so-”
“Don’t,” she interrupts me. “I’ve heard enough of your meaningless apologies in the last few months. You acted like a child.” She crosses her arms over her chest; my eyes are instantly drawn to the area. Before I make an even bigger fool out of myself, I look back up at her face. “And I don’t really want to talk to you right now. In fact, I don’t even want to be around you. You need to figure out what you want.”
She turns around and walks away.
“Kitten-” I start, but Hayley interrupts me.
“Babe, you want to stay at my place tonight?” she asks Jenny.
“That would be great, thanks,” Jenny replies, gathering a few books from her bed and dropping them in her bag. There goes my plan of trying to talk to her later once she’s alone and her Hayley-shaped bodyguard is gone.
They leave without a goodbye, and I can’t help feeling responsible for the situation. I acted like a dick. As soon as I’m back in my room, moping, my door swings open and Jason strolls in.
“Get ready!” he says excitedly. “We’re going out!”
“Hello to you too,” I reply grimly.
“What’s that sad face for?” Jason asks. “You still upset about having that conversation with my fists a few weeks ago? I’m over it if you are.” I sigh. That’s the thing about guys. We don’t hold grudges. “C’mon, Aideypoo. Best way to not think about my sister is to go out and have a good time. Doctor Jason is in the house and he wrote you a prescription for fun times!” I shake my head at my best friend but get up reluctantly. He gives me a big hug. “You know, man, my sister might be off limits, but there’s plenty more fish in the sea.” I know that, but all the pretty fish look bland next to Jenny…
At eleven, we pick Carter up and all go to the Star, a local club where most of the students go. The fact that they are shit about checking IDs might have something to do with it. By the time we get there, most girls are already drunk. Jason will have a blast picking his arm candy for tonight. I, however, can’t seem to focus on anyone in particular.