For Crying Out Loud: The laugh out loud romantic comedy that everyone's talking about! (The False Start Book 1)

by J. Preston

  I slowly nod.

  “Will you forgive me? Can we please start over?” she asks excitedly.

  “I guess,” I mutter. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

  “Oh, Jenny!” Chloe claps her hands and bends over to give me a hug. It’s awkward, and I give her a stiff pat on the back, trying not to breathe in the cloud of Angel by Thierry Mugler that I just got assaulted with. My eyes start to water from lack of oxygen when Chloe finally breaks the hug and steps away from me. I take a lungful of fresh, gorgeous air, and exhale slowly. “I’m so glad I confided in you.” She smiles at me.

  “Yeah,” I say. “It definitely took guts, especially since I’m his sister.” Maybe she’s not that bad in the end. Maybe her soul was not forged in the pits of hell. Who knows? If I went a bit psycho because of Aiden, who am I to judge another person who spent eight months in love with a jerk. My brother, the jerk. That boy is gonna get a big can of whoop ass next time I see him. She-Devil or not, no girl should be treated like he treated Chloe. I sigh.

  I will have to give both him and Carter lessons on how to efficiently break up with girls. I’ll probably need to Google that first since I’ve got no experience in that department whatsoever. Like zero. Zilch.

  I obviously will not give any of these lessons to Aiden since he’s going to marry me and I’ll have his beautiful British babies.

  HOLD UP!!

  What?

  This is what I’m talking about when I say that it’s quite normal for a girl to go crazy because of a guy. I mean. Marry him. Ha.

  Haha.

  Hahahah!

  Have his babies…

  Hahahahaha…

  Although they would be pretty… I wonder if they’d be tall like him or short like me? Would they have my blue eyes or his green? I hope green. And dimples. I’d return them if they didn’t have his dimples. I’d be like nuh-uh! Go back into my uterus and bake some dimples right now, you little—

  “Jenny?” Chloe pulls me out of my mind walkabout in la-la land. Shit, was she talking to me all this time?

  “Yes,” I say. I mean, it’s fifty-fifty anyway. Might as well try to save face.

  “So you do like him? I’m really sorry I made you think I slept with him. It was a shit thing to do.”

  What the…?

  “What?” I guess my fifty-fifty did not pay off, cause I’ve got a peculiar feeling that I just replied ‘yes’ to something I’d never admit to. Ever. Not in a million years. At least not out loud. “Sorry, my mind wandered there for a bit and I’m not a hundred percent sure what I just admitted to…” I say sheepishly. Chloe giggles in her high-pitched voice, and I congratulate myself for not wincing at the sound.

  “Oh. I was asking if you liked Aiden.”

  “Right. Aiden and I are just friends, but I still accept your apology. Even if we are just friends, it was not a cool thing to do,” I say.

  Chloe nods. “Yes, that’s why I was saying I’m sorry…”

  “No worries.” I smile at her. “But listen, I do have to go or I’m going to be late.” I glance down at my watch. Damn, another half an hour gone. I’m cutting it awfully close!

  “Oh, yes!” Chloe claps her hands again! This might just be her most annoying habit yet. “You’re all going to Kennedy’s for Thanksgiving, aren’t you? The whole campus is buzzing about it.”

  Gossip travels fast in Starwood. It’s only been a week since we made the plan, and half of the school is already gone for the holiday. The half still left behind seem to have nothing better to do than to talk about my group of friends. I briefly remind myself that at least I have friends now, ones that would stand by me and stand up for me. That’s a lot more than I had most of my life. I shouldn’t complain.

  “Yes. We are all friends, and this seemed like a conventional thing friends would do. You know, hang out on Thanksgiving together?”

  “Well, have fun,” Chloe says, fluffing her blonde bob. “I need to get back to the dorms. I’ve got a plane to catch.” She gives me another awkward hug and a peck on the cheek. “So glad we had this talk.” She grins at me with her pearly white teeth and turns on her gorgeous heels to walk away. I considered taking a quick snap of the boots but decided against it.

  Rubbing the red lipstick stain she left on my cheek, I slide into Kitt and speed dial Hayley. I tell her all about my talk with Chloe while I drive back to the house, silently thanking Jason for installing hands-free in Kitt.

  “I don’t know, babe, she just doesn’t seem like the person who does things out of the goodness of their heart.”

  “I know,” I reply. “But she seemed genuine, and it really sounds like Jason screwed her over, so maybe we should give her a chance?”

  “Maybe,” Hayley says just as I park in front of the house.

  “Okay babe, well, I’m home now, so I’ll text you later. I’ve got half an hour to get ready and pack!” I start to panic.

  “Calm down, you’ll be fine.” She laughs through my speakers.

  And she’s right. I am fine. I even find myself with 30 seconds to spare. When Carter arrives, I’m already in the living room, my bag by my feet, Jake sitting with his head on my lap, and patiently waiting.

  “You guys ready for some 90210, where the kids are pretty and the housewives have nothing better to do than drink mimosas at brunch?” Carter screeches excitedly, walking in through the front door. Jake barks once in response, tapping his tail twice on the floor, then puts his head right back onto my lap, looking at me adoringly. I love that dog so much it’s ridiculous. I give him a kiss on the forehead and turn to Carter.

  “Afternoon, Mr. Miyagi.” I tip my invisible hat.

  “Afternoon, grasshopper,” he replies, bowing. “Looking like a vision, as usual.” He smiles full force at me, and I have the urge to put sunglasses on to stop him from blinding me with his eagerness. “Where are the guys?” He arches his perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. I make a mental note to enquire about it later. Does he wax or thread?

  “Still getting ready.” I smile triumphantly, just as both Jason and Aiden walk into the living room.

  “Beaten by a girl! You guys are a disgrace to men everywhere.” Carter crosses his hands over his chest.

  “In my defence,” Aiden says. “I had to pack for two.”

  “You pregnant? Who’s the father?” I smirk.

  “Har-har, very funny. I also had to pack all the stuff for Jake.”

  Jason starts making kissing noises at Jake, and Jake trots over to him for some love. I roll my eyes. I’m pretty sure Jason packs his pockets full of treats just to make sure Jake follows him around.

  “Enough of this chit-chat,” Carter interrupts the Kodak moment. “Let’s get going. I flew back home last weekend to pick up the Audi Q7 so we can road trip the hell out of this!”

  We follow Carter outside and pack our bags into the trunk. Jake goes in the last row, and I sit by the window in the middle one. The door on the opposite side opens, and Aiden leans over, flashing his dimples at me. I tense up. Damn, this will be one long trip.

  “Mind if I sit here?” he asks.

  “Not at all,” I reply, my voice a lot higher than I’d like it to be. Aiden smiles brighter and settles himself in. There is a seat in between us, but I can feel the heat radiate off his body even from this far. I glance over at him and blush when I see that he’s been blatantly looking at me all this time.

  “Oh, hell no!” Jason says from the front seat, looking at the both of us. He crawls over the console and sits in the middle seat right between Aiden and I. I’m, once again, able to breathe.

  “Guys, I’m not your chauffeur. Someone sit next to me and entertain me. Eeeny-meaany-minyyy-mo—grasshopper, you’ve been chosen,” he says, his finger trained on me all throughout his little speech.

  “You were pointing at me all along,” I grumble, but move over to the front.

  “What’s the point of choosing the navigator and the radio controller if you can’t choose who you want? Of cour
se I was pointing at you,” Carter explains, as if it all makes sense.

  I get settled in the front seat, and we set off for the drive.

  During our road trip, I learn two things:

  1. Carter Kennedy has an amazing singing voice. Seriously, when he belted out Wind Beneath My Wings, we were all stunned into silence. That boy is wasting away studying politics.

  2. When Jake is fed too many treats by Jason…he farts.

  21 Wonders Of The World

  Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s mostly about chocolate.

  - Jenny

  Aiden

  Jake farts non-stop, making Jason giggle with giddiness like an immature schoolgirl at a 1D concert. I roll my eyes and lean my head further out of the window, breathing in the air that’s whooshing at me at high speed.

  Carter is driving way faster than the recommended speed limit, disregarding the signs and our safety. At least we’re making good time, and it seems like the road we’ve chosen is fairly empty. We’ve been driving for about two hours, and we’ve just passed Santa Margarita. I quickly do the math in my head; that’s about eighty-five miles per hour speed average.

  Kitten chats with Kennedy up front in hushed whispers. They’re both stealing glances at Jason and I every so often, and trying hard to hide their excited bursts of laughter. I’m about to look down at my phone, wanting to check where we are when Jenny turns around in her seat, grinning.

  “Gum?” she asks innocently, raising her eyebrows and holding her hand up with Hubba Bubba in it. She waves it back and forth in front of our faces a couple of times, and Carter chuckles excitedly in the driver's seat. They’re totally up to something.

  “Thanks!” Jason reaches out and snatches the packet out of Jenny’s hand. He pops a piece into his mouth and starts chewing fiercely, handing the packet over to me. I narrow my eyes at my grinning kitten in the front seat and grab a piece. It’s the bubblegum flavour I remember from our first kiss. My eyes are instantly drawn to Jenny’s lips, the memory of how they tasted on mine when I kissed her years ago so vivid. Almost as vivid as the massive failure the kiss had turned out to be. Jenny leans over to Carter and whispers something in his ear, making him guffaw and fist pump triumphantly.

  Jake farts again, and I stick my face further out the open window. Jason giggles and hands him another treat.

  “C’mon man, you’re just making him fart more…” I groan.

  “It’s called conditioning,” Jason explains. “He gets a treat every time he farts. I’m teaching him to fart on command.” He sounds extremely proud of himself.

  “Dude, the treats are what makes him fart, not your conditioning.” I groan, but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead, he leans over and pats Jake on the head adoringly. I gaze out at the passing scenery, trying to focus on something less annoying than the two of them, like the lack of fauna or flora and the city sign we just passed. “Why are we going into San Luis Obispo?” I ask no one in particular, yawning.

  “Ooooh…” Carter replies quickly. Too quickly. “Jenny needs to use the toilet, so we’re just going downtown.” We passed a gas station a few minutes ago, so that excuse smells of deceit. I decide to let it go since both Jenny and Carter seem really excited about the prospect of a toilet in downtown San Luis Obispo…

  “Did you get it?” Jenny whispers to Carter. He nods and points at the glove compartment on her side. She opens it and digs around, pulling out something small and shiny and stuffing it under her seat. What the hell is going on? “Oh yeah,” she stage-talks, turning to me. “I really need to pee. I can barely hold it together.” She scrunches her face as if in pain. I fight the urge to burst into laughter. She’ll never be an actress or a spy. That girl can’t lie at all. It’s one of her more adorable traits, the complete inability to spin a lie. That, and the way she scrunches her nose when she thinks something is gross, and the way her eyes twinkle when she’s up to no good… Down boy.

  Carter turns off the 101 and veers through small streets until we stop outside of a place called Mother’s Tavern. He kills the engine, and both Jenny and him turn their heads to face us, grinning.

  “We can’t have a road trip without visiting one of the Wonders of The World!” Carter exclaims excitedly, and Jenny nods in agreement. Jason looks intrigued and slowly gets out of the car. I follow suit, stretching my back once my legs hit the pavement. I lean back inside and grab Jake. He sniffs around happily, finding a fire hydrant to pee on. He’s so cliche.

  “C’mon! What are you waiting for?” Jenny grabs my hand and starts pulling me behind her. I bask in the warmth spreading through me at the touch of her hand and entwine my fingers with hers before she gets to protest, following her into a small alley. “Ta-da!” Jenny grins at Jason and me while Carter throws his hands up expectantly.

  “Wonder of the World, huh?” I ask, looking around and raising my eyebrows.

  “This is awesome!” Jason whispers, his mouth agape.

  “Welcome to the Bubble Gum Alley!” Jenny jumps up and down.

  “It’s a bit disgusting,” I say, looking at the walls covered in discarded chewing gum. Some people even wrote messages with chewed gum.

  “But awesome,” Carter finishes.

  “Soooo awesome,” Jason chimes in.

  “I know!” Jenny nods. To my dismay, she drops my hand to pull the black, shiny thing she took out of the glove compartment. She sticks her phone into a small frame on one side, then extends the little handle into a long one. “Carter even got this selfie stick so we can immortalize this moment.”

  She orders everyone around, positioning us in front of one of the walls and planting herself in the middle, sticking the selfie stick out so that we’re all in the frame, including Jake. “Okay! Now blow!” she orders and puffs her cheeks until a small bubble is formed out of her gum. We all follow suit, and she snaps a million photos. She then spells Hayley’s name with chewing gum, explaining that she wants Hayley to feel like she was here with us. We help and take a few more snaps, smiling and pointing at the name on the wall. Finally, Carter and Jenny decide they had enough fun, and it’s time to resume our road trip. With at least three more hours of driving still ahead of us, I couldn’t agree more. We spend the rest of the trip arguing over music and taking photos of everything with the selfie stick. At one point, Carter belts out a tune like nobody's business, which Jenny promptly records on her phone, staring at him with her jaw slack. And because I can’t stand her looking at him like that, I lean over and pinch her side, making her jump in her seat and glare at me.

  At least she’s giving me her full attention again. As childish as that is, I call it a win.

  It’s late afternoon when we finally arrive at what can only be called, The Kennedy Mansion. There are round shrubberies surrounding the driveway and a fountain in front of the house. Oh yeah, there’s a fountain. There’s even a pair of grizzly bear topiaries on the sides of the entrance, very disturbing. Carter’s mum waves at us excitedly from the front door as we roll down the gravel.

  “Carter, darling!” she exclaims, launching herself down the steps and straight on top of Carter. She is the exact opposite of what you’d expect by looking at her. Her pristine Chanel jacket and skirt; her perfect hair and flawless makeup do not match her personality at all. She is friendly and loud and outright great, basically a stark opposite of my own mother. “And these must be your friends! Jason, Jenny, and Aiden! So pleased to meet you.” She gives each of us a warm hug. “And you must be Jake! I’ve heard so much about you! You’ll be spending Christmas with us, won’t you?” She leans down to Jake who just a second ago was peeing on the beautiful rose bush next to where we’re standing. He’s got the sense to pretend like he didn’t do it and, instead, wags his tail at Mrs. Kennedy. “Aren’t you just adorable?” Jake must agree as he starts yelping happily and lies down on his back, asking for belly rubs. “Reagan is going to love you!”

  “Is she here?” Carter pokes his head out from the boot. I go to help him wi
th our bags, reluctant to leave Jenny’s side.

  “She went to meet some school friends. You know how that is. They must celebrate everything as their ‘last’, since they’re seniors.” Mrs. Kennedy rolls her eyes. “She should be back soon. Your Great Aunt Berta is here, though. She’s having a nap.” We grab our bags and are about to walk inside when a black, sports Tesla speeds down the gravel towards us. It skids to a stop right next to our parked car, making gravel fly in the air.

  Whoever sits behind the tinted windows likes a good entrance. I’ll give them that.

  “Rey-rey!” Carter exclaims, dropping his bag and running towards the car just as the driver door opens and a blonde girl wearing a white polo shirt and a short, tartan skirt jumps out straight into his arms.

  “Corky!” She laughs as they embrace.

  “Corky, like in the ‘Life Goes On’?” Jenny mutters.

  “Oh no! Like cute and dorky! When Reagan was little,” Mrs. Kennedy whispers, “she couldn’t say Carter’s name. She kept on coming up with Corker, so we shortened it to Corky: cute and dorky.”

  “Oh, man.” Jenny chuckles quietly. “This is ammunition for years to come.”

  Carter finally lets go of his sister and stomps proudly in our direction. “Everyone,” he raises his voice, “this is Reagan, my little sister. She’s amazing, so just get on with it. Rey, these are the idiots I hang out with.” He gestures at us. “Apart from grasshopper. She’s clever; she’ll be able to make me that bionic arm I’ve wanted ever since I was five once she’s done at Starwood.”

  “Hi.” Reagan waves at us timidly. We all wave back in unison, like the idiots Carter introduced us as. Jenny goes over to her and gives her a hug. They quickly start chatting in hushed voices and laugh.