Romantic Renovations

by Blake Allwood

  Les

  Nine months. Nine fucking months! That was all I had left on my contract and I would’ve been a free man.

  I’d been counting down the days since my last show had been cancelled. My most sincere wish was to be able to go back to a regular life, working in my pop’s construction company along with my siblings and forgetting the horror of being a TV star for the rest of my life. The truth was, it’d only taken a few months filming with my hateful costar to learn I truly hated show business.

  I was practically doing my happy dance when my agent Janet called and told me the network wanted me on set in fucking Seattle, Washington.

  “There’s a show that needs a new costar and you’ve been nominated for the job.”

  “Janet, what can I do to get out of this?” I asked, not caring that I was whining.

  “You give back almost all the money you made over the past two years and you hire an attorney who’ll cost you about that much again.”

  “Fuck! Why you gotta bust my balls like this, Janet?” I whined.

  “‘Cause you signed a damned contract and it was a damned good contract. You know how I know that Les? Because I’m the one who negotiated it for you. Listen, I know you want to quit the business and I get it, I really do. But baby cakes, you gotta buck up and go. It’s just a few more months, and you’ll probably enjoy it. Besides, it’s supposed to be nice in Seattle now that the winter is over. Just be thankful they didn’t send you there in January.”

  I sighed. I’d have to call my pop over this one and he was gonna be really mad. I’d promised him I was done “prancing around on TV” as he called it and was ready to get back to some real work.

  But what could I do? The network had me by the balls and I preferred to keep them both in place. I just couldn’t afford to go back on the damned contract now, not when I’d sacrificed all that time working with the bitch extraordinaire. The critics had dubbed her the most loathed woman in America by the time we were cancelled. I’d been assured that her hateful personality had booted me out of the business for good and I was happy about it, but fuck me, here I was back in the fray.

  As soon as I walked into the Seattle construction site, the state of the place had my nerves on end. What a fucking mess! I said under my breath. Workmen were everywhere and sawdust covered the floors while painters worked alongside in the dust laden air. Who the hell was in charge here?

  I immediately figured that out when I turned right and saw him standing next to the stairs. He was maybe five feet ten with blond hair, and I’d consider him good looking if I wasn’t so keen on throttling him for this mess of a job site… which would be a massively bad idea considering Janet had told me he’d been assaulted by his last costar. No matter, seeing the chaos in this beautiful old historic home got my back up. Big time.

  When I came face to face with the guy, he stared at me like he’d just discovered an extra piece of candy in the bottom of a jar he thought was empty. The sexual energy the man put off filtered through my anger and despite my desire to throttle him, lustful thoughts rushed down my body and into my crotch.

  I managed to shake it off. “Are you in charge here?”

  He shrugged and said in a husky voice, that sounded like he’d just woken up from post-sex afterglow “Apparently so!”

  “You suck at it then!” I snapped. “This is a chaotic mess. Someone is going to get hurt.”

  He followed my gaze and shaking his head said, “I’m not a contractor. Hell, I’d never even lifted a hammer until a few months ago. My partner ran the crews, and long story short, he’s no longer on the project.”

  I nodded curtly and jerked my chin towards the door. “Follow me.” I demanded.

  The camera crew saw us and was coming our way, but I pointed at them and shook my head. “No way, this is confidential. You guys stay back until I give you permission to start filming, got it?”

  The man who appeared to be the crew chief kept coming. I was already pissed, so I met him halfway and promptly took the camera from him and turned it off. “The rest of you switch your cameras off, and do it now!” I said standing up to my full height. Luckily, they did as I commanded.

  “I need a private meeting with my new costar and I’ll have every damned one of you replaced, starting with you,” I pointed to the crew chief who’d defied me, “if you come anywhere near us, is that understood?”

  Silence and tense expressions greeted me. “Good. Now, this is how it’s going to work; once my partner and I have had a discussion, we are going to plan out how the rest of the filming for this house will go. You’ll be told what we want the shots to look like and we’ll direct you where to film it from. There’ll be no more of this hokey crap I saw when I watched the first season, got it?”

  I turned to the guy, who was shifting his weight between his feet, jaw clenched. “What’s your name?” I asked. His face was getting increasingly redder as I spoke.

  “Emmitt.” he bit out.

  “Good, Emmitt. Mr. Jackson and I will need to meet with you this afternoon. The rest of you can go. We won’t be doing any filming today, but you need to be back here first thing tomorrow morning to go over our agenda.”

  Emmitt was steaming but this wasn’t the first film crew I’d dealt with. If I was lucky, though, it would be the last.

  “You all stay where you are,” Emmitt said to his crew, then turned back toward me. I cocked an eyebrow, unable to deny I was impressed the little man who was almost a full foot shorter than I am had the audacity to challenge me. “We aren’t leaving this site and we will film just as we have up until now, Mr. Cooper, you don’t call the shots around here.”

  “You willing to bet your career on that?” I asked calmly, the confidence of experience flowing through me.

  “You be ready for filming in fifteen minutes.” he instructed us, then walked with his crew out of the house and to the other side of the lawn.

  I winked at my new costar and told him to hold on while I gave my agent a call. “Hey Janet. It’s me, Les. Listen, I’ve got a crazy cameraman again. Can you call and do your magic? This one is named Emmitt. If the network wants me to do this, they need to help him see where he fits in the pecking order.”

  Janet chuckled. “Of course, I’ll call you right back.”

  After hanging up, I put my arm over the shoulder of my new partner. I’d done this without thinking and immediately felt the hum of attraction sweep through me. I was an affectionate person in general, and usually when I put my arm around someone, it never felt sexual in any way. That certainly didn’t seem to be the case here. I removed my arm hoping I wasn’t being obvious and said, “Have a seat. This should be fun to watch.”

  We mostly sat watching the crew as I thought about the sexual chemistry, that was vibrating between us. It’d certainly be best for both of us if I could just ignore the guy, but every time I looked his way, he was staring at me like I was the next thing on his menu. Luckily, we only had to wait a few minutes before Mr. Emmitt got a phone call. “Watch this.” I said to the guy.

  Even from across the lawn, I could see the guy’s face bloom red, then go white. He hung up and came toward us. “I was told to come let you know that we understand you’re in charge. My guys and I will be here early tomorrow morning for your meeting.”

  “That’ll be perfect, Emmitt,” I said, not mentioning my intention to meet with him first. “Shall we say around 7:00am? That’ll give us enough time to talk with the film crew before the workmen arrive.”

  “Yes sir,” his disdain so obvious it was difficult not to smile, “7:00 is perfect.”

  The camera crew left in a hurry and I turned to my new costar.

  “So, this is happening.” I said. Then noticed the guy was still staring at me with that hungry, catlike look. I squirmed, unable to stop the sexual desire his attention caused me. I shook my head and said, “Dude, if we’re gonna work together you can’t be staring at me like that.”

  He glanced down then, clearing his throa
t nervously and said, “Sorry, I’m just surprised. No one told me you were replacing Frank, I… I’ve liked your shows for a while. Just give me a moment to get my poker face back on.”

  I chuckled. “Well, I don’t mind the drooling, but it isn’t gonna play well on television, trust me!”

  He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Okay, I think I’ve managed to roll my tongue back in!”

  His tone was monotone, and I almost laughed as the guy struggled to refocus.

  So, clearly this guy wouldn’t mind a quick roll in the sheets, I thought, and then struggled myself to keep my expression from betraying how that realization made my own desires kick in.

  “So, you are my replacement costar?” He tried again.

  I took a deep breath letting thoughts of what it’d feel like just to lean over and kiss him slip out of my mind. “Yep, it appears so. I’m Leslie Cooper,” I said, extending my hand to him.

  He looked at my hand and smiled, slipped his into mine and shook it before replying, “Bennett Jackson, construction novice.”

  “You really have no experience in construction then?”

  “Nope, not even a little. That was supposed to be part of our gig. I’d learn while we’re fixing up the old homes I inherited.”

  “Yeah, that story line is weak. I prefer to work with you as an equal, especially considering how condescending your previous partner was. He was more of a jerk than Diane Stacey. In fact, we should fix them up so they can make hateful babies together.”

  He nodded, appearing pleased with the suggestion. “Yeah she was a piece of work.”

  “So was yours, dude. So was yours.”

  “Who are you telling?” Bennett asked tightly, shifting his eyes to my left foot as a flush spread across his face. “I’m the one who spent a night in the hospital and several days in bed from the concussion he gave me.”

  “You okay now?” I heard the firmness in my tone and wondered if it was concern or attraction that made me sound more abrasive than I felt.

  “More than okay. Just a headache now and again, but with him gone, everything’s better.”

  “Perfect,” I was keen to get past all these emotional reactions I was having to this guy and get on with the job. “Now let’s talk about the chaos you’ve got going on inside that house.”

  “God, it’s awful,” Bennett replied. I could feel the frustration emanating from him. “I came back this morning, and it was like the workers had all gone amuck. They did a bunch of stuff I didn’t approve of and they painted some of the old trim that was supposed to be cleaned up and left in its original state.” He shook his head. “While I was recovering, they were making decisions on the fly.”

  “Yep, that’s how it works. You gotta be on them like stink on poo, my man. Sooo… you okay if I send them all home so we can walk through this baby and figure out how to make it all work?”

  “Yes, that sounds perfect.” Despite the fact that his tone was hesitant, I could see hope in his expression.

  “Good, I’ve got this then. Can you stay with me though? I want them to see we’re a unified force. We don’t want them to think they can divide and conquer.” An adorable smile played on his lips. I turned abruptly then, refusing to think about his lips. That was the way back to him ogling me and me thinking about what I could do with his slim, toned body.

  We went to the basement where I flipped the breaker, which was met with a chorus of cussing followed by silence as machinery shut down. I strode back up the stairs, stood next to my new partner and called all the workers into the old living room.

  “Listen up, this place is a fucking mess and I can tell some of you guys have been doing this long enough to know better. I’m Les Cooper, the new project manager and partner to Mr. Jackson. I’ve already seen some major screwups here. For example, why the hell are you sanding floors when there’s painting going on? It looks like you all have just decided to do whatever you want without any planning between teams. Just so you’re aware, that shit is stopping this moment. While the cameras are off, let me ask you straight up: are any of you going to have a problem taking direction from me or Mr. Jackson here?”

  One of the guys in the back said a name under his breath and although it was difficult to hear I’m almost positive he’d said “faggot.”

  I pointed my finger at the man and demanded, “Sir, what’s your name?”

  The entire room looked around, including the dude who’d said the word.

  “Yeah, you’re gonna pretend like you didn’t say that now, huh? You can get your stuff together and leave. I won’t need you to return tomorrow either.” I let my gaze wander around the room taking in each of the men. “If anyone else thinks that shit’s gonna fly, you can gather your crap too. I don’t mind hiring all new crews and don’t worry, your leaving isn’t gonna put us behind. I’ve already had several inquiries from people who would like to replace all of you. In less time than it takes for you to pack your shit and get out, I can have your position filled with someone else.” This was a lie, but I kept my expression schooled, nonetheless. It worked to my advantage for them to think they were all expendable.

  As the guy I’d just fired prepared to leave, he instantly rushed me, acting like he was going to attack. I leapt off the stairs and got in his face making him immediately jump back like the bully coward he was. Loud enough so that everyone could hear, I told him straight, “Dude, I’m not a princess. Faggot I might be, but I assure you, I could kick your fucking ass to Boston and back!”

  He put his hands up, then disappeared out the door. When he was gone, I turned to glare at the crew who were all standing around me. “What about it, guys? Anyone else have a problem with me being gay?”

  I knew the man had meant his comment for Bennett, but we might as well let them all know up front, I was the same as Bennett and I had zero tolerance for that toxic shit. My pops had showed me repeatedly that you’ve got to have the upper hand with your crew. Then when they respected you, friendships formed naturally. But let a bully slip in and they’ll undo your workflow every time.

  “Okay. Since that’s settled, let’s go over some basic rules…” I recited the same speech my father had given time and again throughout my life when addressing a new crew. When I was done, I looked over the men gathered in front of me, relieved to feel no animosity from them, just quiet acceptance.

  I made new rules about wearing clean clothes, saying they were to wear spotless blue jeans and a white shirt. When I watched the video of the first season, all the workers had looked like they hadn’t bathed in weeks.

  When I got confirmation on this, I drove home the point I wanted to hit the hardest. “I don’t tolerate a dirty work area. When you finish a project, you clean up top to bottom. That means you don’t leave until the entire area you’ve been working on is clean. This is also non-negotiable. You leave your site dirty, and you’ll be out. Now, you all get back to your worksites and make them look like you’re professionals before you leave.”

  Before I sent them off, I glanced over at my partner. “Mr. Jackson, I understand there are some jobs that have not been done to your satisfaction. Do you want to point those out?”

  “I’ll make a list and get that to you tomorrow, but for sure there’s some crap work here that needs to be fixed.” I nodded at him, proud he was able to stand up for himself.

  “Alright. That’s it. See you tomorrow at starting time. Remember, if you can’t be here when we start, don’t bother showing up at all.”

  Bennett

  I was amazed at how the men went to work cleaning. Even when Frank was in charge, they barely listened to him.

  On Les’ show he’d usually always appeared smooth and easy going, he would occasionally put his foot down, but that was rare. Seeing the tough side of him just made me want him that much more. I’d been desperately trying to control my attraction to the hunk but the second he pulled the hard ass personality out, I found myself drooling all over again.

  The crew must
have been shocked by Les Cooper’s authority as well. The look on the man who’d called me a faggot would stay with me for the rest of my life. He hadn’t been prepared for my new partner standing up to his bullying.

  Now, I just had to figure out how to stop lusting after the man. At least during the day when I had to work with him. At night, I looked forward to allowing my fantasies to run wild.

  We walked around together observing the crew’s progress. He pulled me into the conversation with each group that we came to.

  I could tell the guys were suspicious of me. And why wouldn’t they be? Frank had always made fun of me, acting like I was slowing him down or that I was an imbecile. He deliberately undermined my authority since the day I arrived on the first jobsite. The thing that really grated on me though was that I’d let him. My stomach churned again as I inwardly acknowledged I’d allowed a friend to become my abuser.

  I was startled out of my thoughts when the last of the crew finished cleaning and announced they were leaving. I looked around at a spotless work area and smiled at my new costar.

  We watched them depart, then Les asked “do you mind ordering us a pizza and getting a couple six packs? We’ll be camping out here for at least the early part of the night. I’m guessing one or more of these guys are gonna come kick in the door before it’s all said and done.”

  “What? Kick in the door?” The shock of even the possibility of this sent panic through me.

  “Oh yeah, especially the faggot dude. He was pissed and will likely want revenge. I’m guessing he’ll have a good buzz going by now and I wouldn’t put it past him to have a couple of buddies who’ll come keep him company while he’s at it.”

  “Fuck,” I moaned. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

  He chuckled. “That’s why they pay me the big bucks. So, you up for the beer?”

  “Sure,” I said. It wasn’t like I had plans anyway. Just to go home and stare at something on TV and the irony was, I would’ve probably watched and drooled over Les Cooper reruns while drinking beer and eating pizza.