Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  I rolled my eyes. My sisters were forever dressing me up as a girl. It was maddening.

  “I was six, what else did you expect?”

  “You know he came into school after that weekend and told me all about it,” Avery said. “I was the only sympathetic one.”

  “And I still appreciate that.”

  I nudged her arm and she smiled at me. Avery and I always had each other’s backs no matter what.

  “My turn,” Jen said, butting in. “Don’t worry, little bro, no more embarrassing stories for you. This one is about Dante.”

  I glanced at my brother who crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. I knew instantly Jen was planning on mischief.

  “When Fi and I were about six, we were both scared of the dark. Mum used to sit with us until we fell asleep and tell stories. One night, she told us it was perfectly okay to be scared of the dark because even our older brother was scared of things.”

  Dante’s scowl deepened.

  “When we asked what he was scared of, she made us promise never to be mean to him about it.”

  “Jennifer,” Dante practically growled.

  “Of course, we didn’t listen. The very next day, we carefully placed a certain item on his bed and hid in his wardrobe. He came in and screamed like a little girl. We were laughing so hard, we fell out of the wardrobe together.”

  I looked between him and the twins.

  “What was it?” Liora asked.

  “A plastic spider,” Dante answered before either of the twins could.

  “You’re scared of spiders? How did I not know this about you?”

  He didn’t reply, giving our sisters a hard stare for revealing that little titbit about him to his wife.

  “I’ll go next,” Avery said, saving Dante from further discussion about his spider phobia. “This is sort of a confession. So… you know how you had a massive go at James for breaking your Pharaoh Forbidden Ruin Lego set?”

  Dante’s head whipped around to her, eyebrows raised.

  “That was actually me. I was bawling my eyes out over it when Margo found James and me. She told me it was okay and to just tell Dante it was an accident, but James piped up and said he’d take the blame. Margo said it was honourable for him to take responsibility, but not necessary. She really was the sweetest woman I’ve ever known. She was like a second mother to me.”

  Avery put her hand on my arm and gave it a squeeze.

  “I was going to tell him, but when Dante got home, he immediately blamed James for it.”

  Dante grinned, tilting his head to the side.

  “I knew it was Avery.”

  “You did? Why did you have a go at me?” I asked.

  I remembered that day. He practically threw me out of his room and banned me from touching his Lego ever again.

  “She looked so remorseful and sad. I knew you could take it.”

  I shook my head. Things were so different when we were young. It was a miracle we were all still talking to each other. I was glad of it. We’d spent too many years estranged from one another.

  We kept telling stories until we all retired to their small garden since it was warm and still light outside. Avery and I were sitting on one of the benches together. I had a beer and she had a glass of juice since she was breastfeeding.

  “How’re things with Cassie?” she asked.

  I winced, the reminder of what she said to me earlier ringing in my ears. I didn’t want to talk about this with Avery, but she noticed my hesitation.

  “What happened?”

  I ran a hand through my hair, staring down at the top of my beer bottle.

  “I think it’s over. It never really started in all honesty.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I never told her Cassie was my girlfriend, just that we were spending time together. I think she was happy I’d found someone so didn’t press me on it too much.

  “She’s a nice girl…”

  “But…?”

  She’s not you.

  I looked at her. She had a slight furrow in her brow. It was an expression I knew well. Avery always knew when I was holding things back.

  “I don’t know.”

  “James…”

  “She deserves better than me.”

  I hoped she’d leave the subject alone. That was wishful thinking.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. You never give anyone a chance. There’s always an excuse as to why you won’t go any further than just dating. I thought this might be different.”

  I shrugged.

  “Well, it’s not.”

  This was straying into dangerous territory. How could I ever admit the truth? She was the reason I couldn’t move on. It wasn’t her fault. I never blamed her for my own predicament. Aiden was her one. I liked and respected him, especially the way he doted on Avery and their daughter. They deserved their happiness.

  “What exactly is wrong with her, James?”

  “Nothing.”

  She wanted something I couldn’t give her.

  Me.

  “You’re going to have to let someone else in at some point, you know. It can’t always just be me. You know I’ll be here for you and I love you so much, but one day you’ll meet the right girl and she’ll be there for you in ways I can never be.”

  I don’t know that anyone can eclipse you, Avery. You’ve been in my life since we were five years old. You’re the only person I trust. The only one who understands me. The only girl I’ve ever wanted.

  I couldn’t say that. So I kept lying instead even though my heart physically ached.

  “I know. Cassie is a lovely girl and we had fun together, but there’s something missing. I feel like shit. I let her think we could be something more. I want to tell her I’m sorry, but the words never seem to come out right.”

  Avery’s eyes told me that whilst she was disappointed in me, she also understood.

  “Just be honest. She might hate you but leading her on is worse.”

  I nodded, unable to think of a suitable response. She put her glass on the floor and opened her arms to me. Unable to say no, I let her hug me, breathing her in. Avery felt like home.

  “It’ll be okay,” she whispered.

  No. It won’t, but I love how you think it will. Fuck. I love you so much.

  I released her, knowing it was wrong to let her comfort me when I was lying through my teeth.

  I hate myself so fucking much.

  She smiled at me in that heart stopping way of hers. I almost forgot to breathe. I couldn’t fucking do this any longer. I had to sort my shit out. But instead of doing that, I drowned my sorrows in booze for the rest of the night and Liora told me to stay. I lay in the spare bedroom staring at the ceiling when everyone else left and Dante, Brent and Liora went to bed. This used to be my room once upon a time, back when I’d lived with Dante and the twins.

  Getting up, I fished the napkin out of my coat pocket, sat back on the bed and stared at it. Tomorrow it would be a month since Dante and Liora’s wedding. After my conversation with Avery tonight, I realised I was still fucking miserable and very much haunted by my past.

  I wasn’t intending to go, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Perhaps I just needed to let it out to someone who knew next to nothing about me.

  I’ll see you tomorrow night, Ellie Kirkwood. I hope you remember the promise we made.

  Chapter Four

  Ellie

  One month. Thirty days. That’s how long it had been since I last laid eyes on James Benson. I wondered if he kept the napkin with our signed promise on it. All day I’d been fretting about it. Stupid really. Work was the only thing keeping me sane until six rolled around and then I was just nervous as hell.

  I changed out of my uniform in the staff locker room. We hadn’t set a time so who knew how long I’d be waiting outside. Would he even show up? It had been a long shot. He’d likely forgott
en all about the crazy girl who served him drinks at his brother’s wedding. Though we did have an interesting conversation, I still didn’t think it was enough to make me stick out in his memory.

  I let my hair down loose around my shoulders after I tidied up my makeup. It had a slight natural curl to it. Would he recognise me like this? I’d had it up in a bun that day.

  Honestly, what was wrong with me? Why did I care so much? Was it because he was the first person I’d felt the urge to open up to? It had to be that. There wasn’t another explanation for the strange feeling in my gut. It wasn’t like I really spoke to men other than at my job and even that had taken me a while to get used to.

  I couldn’t stay hiding in here. It was stupid really. He’d never show up. I was sure he had far more important things to do. I still held on to the small hope he would. Even if I’d never spoken to my last therapist about my experiences, she had told me to go out and make friends. Try and have a normal life after what happened to me. It was all very well her saying that. She had no idea what it was like to carry scars and wounds like mine.

  I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the staff room. Normally I’d go out the back, but today I walked through the corridors until I reached the front lobby. My eyes scanned the area but the only people I recognised were my colleagues. I didn’t speak much to them anyway.

  You said outside the hotel, you dipstick.

  I almost smacked myself around the head. Stifling the urge to scream, turn around and walk out the back, I continued across the lobby and walked through the revolving door. My heart almost stopped in my chest when I stepped out. I was frozen for a long moment until I realised someone else was trying to come out.

  He’s here.

  Holy shit.

  He’s actually here.

  James Benson stood at the bottom of the steps, his hands dug into his coat pockets and he was staring up at me with a lopsided smile. I moved, getting out of the way of the people trying to exit the hotel. Taking the steps one by one, I stopped on the last one, right in front of him.

  “Hi,” I blurted out, my voice sounding all high pitched.

  I cursed myself internally for being such an idiot. I didn’t think he’d be here.

  “Hi yourself.”

  “You’re here.”

  He dug something out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was the napkin with our signatures on it. I smiled. He kept it. He remembered me. The crazy girl from the bar.

  “I think it states there we made a promise to each other. It wouldn’t make a very good impression if I broke a promise now, would it?”

  I shook my head as I gave it back to him. He stuck it in his pocket and looked up at me. If I was on the same level as him, I’d probably only come up to his chest. I stepped down, proving my assessment correct. He was really tall. I hadn’t noticed it when he was sitting at my bar. I still couldn’t believe he was here.

  “You know, I didn’t expect you to show up, let alone remember me.”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “You left quite an impression.”

  I wondered what that meant but decided against asking.

  “Um, so… There’s a bar I know that’s not far from here. It’s quiet so we can talk without shouting at each other.”

  He gave me a nod and put his hand out as if to say ‘show me the way’. I was glad he hadn’t offered me his arm or anything. I had the urge to comfort him last time, but touching other people was still weird for me. Hell, being close to another person made my scars itch, but I didn’t mind James so much. He put a respectful distance between us as we walked.

  I realised I was going to have to tell him something about myself because that’s what we’d promised. A story from my past. It would be opening a huge can of worms, but a promise was a promise. Perhaps I could start with something easy. Was there anything easy about my past? Not really. I hadn’t thought this part through.

  “Bartended any more weddings?”

  I jumped at the sound of his voice. He gave me an apologetic look. God, why was I being so awkward? Of course he was going to talk to me. It was just weird for me to be going out for a drink with someone. I hadn’t really done this like ever. Not in the almost two and a half years since I was rescued nor at any point before that. I didn’t have friends and I certainly didn’t keep in touch with anyone I knew from that time. I preferred not to be reminded of what happened back then.

  “We had one last week. It was a lot bigger so there were three of us behind the bar.”

  Two hundred guests to be exact. It was some famous musician’s wedding held in the largest function room. They had a live band and it was really loud. I hadn’t liked that part much. Crowds and loud noises still bothered me, but I’d focused on my job, which got me through the night. When I went home to my tiny studio flat, I sat in my cupboard for the longest time with my hands over my ears until the ringing stopped. Sometimes it was the only place I felt safe.

  “How did it compare?”

  “I preferred your brother’s. No one threw up all over the bar.”

  “That happened?”

  I nodded.

  “Oh yeah, it was pink projectile vomit. I was on the other side of the bar so avoided it, but one of the other girls got it all over her shirt and in her hair.”

  He scrunched up his face in disgust. I couldn’t blame him. The whole thing made me feel queasy. Luckily the cleaners dealt with it so the rest of us didn’t have to. The projectile vomiter had been swiftly evicted and things settled down a little after that. The function room was a complete bomb site by the time the last guests left at one in the morning. The hotel likely charged the bride and groom extra for the mass clean up. Some celebrities thought they could get away with anything.

  “How long have you been working there?”

  “Six months.”

  The longest job I’d ever had. I’d tried so hard at the other ones, but I was still having panic attacks and breakdowns at that point. Now I was stable, mostly. I could deal with the day shifts and the few nights I worked at the hotel. It wasn’t so bad. They knew about some of my history and made adjustments for me, but so far, I hadn’t had any trouble.

  “Can I ask how old you are?”

  “You can ask me whatever you want, just no guarantees I’ll answer.”

  “So… your age is off limits?”

  I smiled and shook my head.

  “Twenty three.”

  “Same as me then.”

  I hadn’t realised he was so young. I mean, he looked kind of young. Maybe it was the stubble which made him seem a little older.

  We turned a corner and walked a little further until I stopped outside a nondescript building. The little jazz bar was in the basement. James followed me down the steps. Some nights I came here alone just to listen to the music. It was never busy which suited me. The bar itself was cosy with blue velvet upholstery on the small booths and chairs. There was a lot of exposed wood and bricks with art deco lampshades. An eclectic mix of old and new.

  “What do you drink?” I asked when we reached the bar.

  “What do you usually have?”

  “Amaretto Sours.”

  “Make it two then.”

  I gave him a smile, a little surprised he wanted to have the same drink as me.

  “Hey Sandro, two of my usual please,” I said when the bartender walked up.

  “You got it. Say, this is a first. Are you on a date, Ellie?”

  I almost choked on my own breath. Sandro was the regular bartender at Frankie’s so I’d built up a little bit of a rapport with him since I started coming here six months ago. This was the first time I’d brought someone with me.

  I didn’t dare look at James when I answered.

  “Uh, no. Just a… friend.”

  “Well, chica, your friend is easy on the eyes.”

  Can I just die right now?

  Sandro was a flirt. He wo
uld literally flirt with a broom if he could. It didn’t matter if you were male or female, no one escaped Sandro’s wicked tongue.

  I mean, okay, Sandro had a point. It wasn’t like James was unattractive, but I wasn’t looking for someone to date. Especially not someone I knew was in love with his married best friend.

  I glanced at James but he was shaking his head, ocean blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

  Sandro placed our drinks on the bar, giving me a wink. I was about to pull out my purse, but James was already there with his card, waving it over the machine. We picked up our drinks and sat in the far corner in a booth. We could still see the small stage but no one would disturb us here. This was my usual spot anyway.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I said after I’d slipped off my jacket. I was wearing a long sleeved thin green shirt and black jeans with ballet flats.

  “Do what?”

  “Buy the drinks.”

  He tilted his head to the side, watching me under his long eyelashes. Most women would be jealous of those. Admittedly, I was a little.

  “You can get the next ones if it makes you feel better.”

  “Deal.”

  He smiled and sat back. He wasn’t wearing a suit. Just a plain navy t-shirt, jeans and trainers. It suited him better, the casual look.

  I took a sip of my drink and he did the same, watching me over the glass.

  “So, Ellie… Do we need to get drunk before sharing a story? Who goes first?”

  I fiddled with my glass for a moment.

  “I can… if you want. Also, I’m a lightweight so getting drunk could be on the cards.”

  He grinned.

  “Good to know. For future reference and all.”

  “Why, planning on trying to take advantage of me?”

  He almost choked on his drink.

  “What? No. I don’t… I’m not that sort of person.”

  I smiled and shook my head.

  “Sorry, my sense of humour clearly isn’t hitting the mark.”

  He raised an eyebrow and set his drink back on the table.

  “No, no, I like it.”

  I felt my face growing hot. No one had ever told me they liked something about me before. It was stupid really that it made me feel good inside.