Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  In some ways, I think that’s why I was drawn to James. His life had been marred with violence and despair. I recognised that part of him because it lived in me too.

  “You’re staring,” he said without opening his eyes.

  My face grew hot, but I didn’t look away.

  “I don’t mind,” he continued. “If anything, I’m flattered.”

  He lowered his face, opening his eyes to stare back at me. Those ocean blue eyes which had the ability to consume me from the inside out.

  “Flattered?”

  “Mmmhmm, being admired by a beautiful girl and all.”

  That made me look away and fiddle with the blanket below us. It wasn’t the first time he’d said I was beautiful but compliments were a foreign concept to me. Spending your whole life being treated like you’re worthless by almost everyone around you makes it hard to accept anyone could believe you were attractive or worthwhile.

  In the periphery of my vision, I saw him sit up and lean towards me. He took my hands and stilled them. Why was he always so warm? My skin thrummed at the contact.

  “You don’t like compliments.”

  Was I that obvious?

  “I don’t know how to take them. No one has ever said nice things about me before,” I admitted.

  “Look at me.”

  I did it without hesitation. His voice compelled me to. I loved the rich notes to it. Every syllable he spoke brushed across my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

  I’m so screwed. So. Very. Screwed.

  His blue eyes searched mine for a long moment.

  “You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone put you down again. You’re stronger than that.”

  I felt those words deep in my bones. My time in the Daniel’s clutches hadn’t broken me. My father might be lurking, but I’d deal with him. He was never going to control me or my life again. Richard Kirkwood was dead to me.

  “You’re like my own personal cheerleader.”

  He laughed, shaking his head as he let go of my hands and picked up his can of coke instead.

  “Not sure I’d pull off the uniform and pompoms.”

  “Well, I don’t know. I think you might look rather fetching.”

  His grin was electrifying.

  “Hmm, perhaps that should be my next Halloween costume.”

  I smiled. His mood was infectious. It made it hard for me to broach the subject I’d been meaning to since my phone call with Tina. I picked at the remnants of our picnic, putting leftovers back in the bag we’d brought with us. I knew he was watching me, but I couldn’t stop. Doing something with my hands prevented me from fidgeting.

  “Ellie…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Have I made you uncomfortable again?”

  I stopped what I was doing and turned to him.

  “No, it’s not you.”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “Then what?”

  I sighed, shuffling closer to him and picking at the blanket again.

  “I have to talk to you about something.”

  His eyes were curious, but he didn’t say anything, merely waited for me to continue.

  “It’s about the six years I was kept captive… well… I think it would be more accurate to say I was sex trafficked, but I see it as captivity because I wasn’t allowed any freedom.”

  His body was so closed to mine. I could feel the heat of him. I wanted to feel more. Hold onto him and not let go because I was afraid I’d drown otherwise. But I couldn’t. James was still in love with his best friend. That wasn’t going to change.

  “You know you can tell me anything.”

  “When I was sold… it was to… to…” I faltered, my airway restricting as panic started to bubble up in my chest. I put a hand to it, trying to calm my raging heart. My eyes were on the blanket, attempting to focus on something that wasn’t my body to stop the storm inside me threatening to burst out.

  Then I felt it. A warm hand wrapped around the back of my head, drawing me closer until I connected with his warm, solid body. My face buried in his chest, his other arm went around me and his fingers tangled in my hair.

  “Shh, close your eyes, it’s okay,” he murmured. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

  His touch simultaneously soothed and set fire to my veins. Two completely opposing feelings coursed through me.

  “Daniels,” I whispered, managing to get the word out.

  I felt him stiffen but he didn’t stop stroking my scalp lightly with his fingers. Didn’t stop holding me.

  “You were sold to the Daniels.”

  “Yes.”

  “Fuck.”

  For a long moment neither of us spoke. Then I couldn’t stand the silence nor how my skin felt like it was on fire. Craving something I’d never wanted from anyone before. How was it that despite me revealing something dark and hideous, my body seemed to have a mind of its own. It wanted the very solid and warm body holding me to pin me down and take full advantage of everything I had to offer.

  “I didn’t know how to tell you,” I whispered, trying to think about anything else, but failing miserably.

  My hands curled around him of their own accord, skimming over the hard muscle of his back. He let out a harsh breath. Did my touch affect him? Why was it at that moment all thoughts of how wrong it was to crave him went flying out of my head? None of this made sense. The want. The need. Almost as if parts of me pulsed with recognition, knowledge of him. That was impossible.

  “You only have to tell me things when you’re ready, Ellie.”

  “I know.”

  He leant his cheek on the top of my head.

  “Her family… the ones who did that are scum. Avery told me the truth a while before it all came out. Her and Aiden are the reason it came to light. They took them down from the inside. You can’t tell anyone that though. No one knows what they did.”

  “They did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “They’re the reason I was rescued then.”

  I let out a long breath, almost going slack in his hold as I relaxed against him finally. The anxiety I’d felt at keeping this in was gone. Why had I ever thought he’d react badly to the news? I should’ve known better by now. Nothing I said to James would make him run or hate me. Would the knowledge I was attracted to him do that though?

  “How many were there?”

  “Men?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I had four masters, but there were others. One liked to share with his friends. I hated him the most. He was cruel.”

  I shuddered at the memory of the lashes he gave me. The times he struck me with his belt. The scars on my back itched. I rolled my shoulders to shake it off.

  “He inflicted the worst punishments. The others were saints in comparison to him. When his time was up, they weren’t happy with the condition he’d left me in, but it didn’t matter. I was still their property. So they gave me to another who wasn’t as cruel. He just wanted a companion mostly. Then the last one, he didn’t look after me properly. He kept me chained up in a room and barely fed me. He said he liked them skinny.”

  I didn’t want to pull away from James, but if I didn’t, I might’ve ended up doing something I regretted. He let me go when I moved, sitting up and meeting his eyes.

  “It took me four months to speak again after I was rescued. They stole my voice from me. Stole everything. I never want anyone to take something from me against my will again.”

  His eyes clouded over and I wondered why.

  “No one should take things you’re not willing to give.”

  There was something else in the tone of his voice. Something which said I want you to give me things willingly. Was I reading into it too much? Reading into the way he looked at me sometimes like he wanted so much more. It made my skin thrum. Not least because I wanted to hand myself over to him like I was a buffet for him to devour.

  What the fuck? Where
did that come from?

  My brain got scrambled when I was close to him. I had to remind myself he was in love with another woman. Repeatedly. Apparently that was something I kept forgetting.

  “What about things I am willing to give?” I whispered, the words tumbling out before I had a chance to stop them.

  His blue eyes darkened and trailed down my face to land on my mouth. I resisted the urge to lick my lips.

  “Then you tell them it’s okay, that you want it so they know they aren’t crossing the line or any boundaries you set out.”

  Why did this feel like we were talking about us? I knew about consent. All too well considering I’d never consented to anything that happened to me whilst I belonged to the Daniels nor all the shit my father put me through. But this, with James, what if I consented to it? Whatever this was between us which crossed over from friendship into something else.

  Was there any point in denying what I wanted?

  Him.

  I wanted him.

  Admitting it to myself wasn’t really the issue here. It was admitting it to him.

  And you can’t do that because of Avery.

  Some days I wished I didn’t know about his feelings for her and others I was glad of it.

  Why did I have to want someone who was emotionally unavailable to me? I wanted that connection. Craved it even. Only with him though. It wasn’t just the physical reaction my body had when he was close or touching me, it was the emotional pull. Deep down what I wanted was love. To be loved by someone for who I was inside.

  No one had ever really loved me except my mother. She was meant to though. Parents were. My father was sick with his need for drugs, but he also wasn’t right in the head. You couldn’t be to sell your own daughter into what essentially was sexual slavery.

  “I tell them it’s okay,” I repeated, unsure of what else to say.

  He nodded, his eyes still fixed on my mouth.

  “Only if it really is.”

  “Okay.”

  He watched me for a long moment as if he wasn’t sure what I was saying okay to. Then he leant back on his hands and tipped his face up to the sun again. I expelled a long breath from my chest as whatever spell was between us broke. This wasn’t the end of it. I was sure of that much. We’d keep skirting around this issue again and again until one of us snapped.

  I just wasn’t sure which one of us it would be.

  ***

  “Come on, you promised,” he said, taking my hand and dragging me towards the building.

  After we’d dumped the picnic stuff back in the car, I’d told James I was okay with him measuring me if he still wanted to. It made me nervous, the thought of him touching me that much. He’d held me on two separate occasions now. Once in my bed and then earlier today. So I was pretty sure I could deal with it.

  “I know, but I didn’t expect you to want to right now,” I said as we walked into Benson’s offices.

  He waved at the security guard who gave him a nod. We got to the bank of lifts, but he didn’t drop my hand as he pressed the button.

  “I don’t want to give you time to back out.”

  The glint in his blue eyes told me he was teasing.

  “You made me sign a promise. Have I broken one yet?”

  The lift doors opened and we walked in. He turned so he stood in front of me after pressing the button for the right floor.

  “No, but I’ve wanted to dress you for weeks.”

  I smiled. He looked so boyish right then. Like playing dress up was one of his favourite activities. Or maybe it was just that he really wanted to dress me.

  So he can undress you.

  I tried not to let that thought show in my expression. Nor how my skin felt a little clammy and my nerve endings prickled.

  “A promise is a promise.”

  He’d actually marched me into a pub and bought us a round of soft drinks so we could sign our names on a napkin. The first promise was mine and the second was his.

  I promise to let you measure me so you can dress me in whatever you see fit from the Benson’s range.

  Eleanor Kirkwood

  I promise not to dress you in anything you’re uncomfortable with and I will pay for everything.

  James Benson

  I wanted to object to the last part about him paying for it, but he’d already signed it before I had a chance to. There was no going back on a promise between us. So I kept my mouth shut and let him drive me to his offices.

  The lift dinged. We walked out onto the top floor, along the corridor and into his office. He made me stand by the desk whilst he collected a tablet and a tape measure.

  I looked up at him when he stood in front of me with a lopsided smile on his face.

  “I’m going to start with easier ones first.”

  What he meant was he wasn’t going to measure my bust yet because that was intimate. I shivered at the thought of his fingers brushing over my breasts and how much I wanted his hands there.

  Get a grip, Ellie!

  He started on my arm, taking various measurements before he walked around me to do my back. With each one, he made a note on the tablet. I took steady breaths, trying not to let the light brushes of his fingertips affect me. I was failing miserably because each time he brushed against me, it made me tremble and want to arch into his touch.

  He walked back around to my front when he was finished then squatted in front of me. I watched the concentration on his face as he measured my leg. Then he looked up at me.

  “Um, I need to do your inseam… just tell me to stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  I took a deep breath as he ran the tape measure up my leg until his hand was right by my crotch. A part of me was glad I’d worn jeans today so he wouldn’t have any idea his touch had made me wet. I was so embarrassed. It was the first time I’d noticed just how aroused he made me because it wasn’t something I’d experienced with anyone else before.

  He didn’t linger which I could only be glad of. Straightening, he made a few more notes before he stared down at me with an apologetic look.

  “So, I kind of have to um…”

  “You can touch my chest, James, it’s okay. I’m not going to freak out.”

  He nodded. Then he reached around me with the tape measure, tucking it under my arms and pulling it across my chest. Noting down the number, he moved it higher so it was just above my breasts. He seemed to take a deep breath after that one before lowering it again and pulling it tight across my tits.

  “It’s not too tight, is it?” he asked, his voice low.

  “A little.”

  He loosened it a touch then checked the number. But he didn’t let the tape measure fall. His eyes met mine. I recognised the look in them. It was one he’d worn before. It told me he wanted me. I swallowed, tensing in anticipation of his next move. He seemed to visibly shake himself before dropping the tape measure from around me. He stepped back, noted down the rest of the measurements before placing the tablet on the desk.

  The air I was holding in my lungs seemed to whoosh out of me all at once. His proximity had frozen me in place before. I really thought he was going to act on this desire pulsing between the two of us. It hadn’t quite dissipated. It rippled with each movement he made.

  “Ellie… I…”

  “You what?”

  He turned back to me, his eyes roaming across my body with unconcealed need. Need I felt coursing through my own veins.

  Here we were. Alone in his office. No one else was here. No interruptions. Nothing.

  “I can’t stop,” he whispered.

  He reached up, cupping my face with one hand whilst the other curled around my waist, pulling me to him.

  “Stop what?” I asked, my voice just as low as his.

  “This…”

  He stared down at me. His blue eyes burning with heat and longing. My lips parted on automatic.

  Holy fuck, is he going to kiss me?


  Chapter Thirteen

  James

  What the hell was I doing? My common sense had fled the building. It would’ve told me to let her go if I cared to listen to it. I just couldn’t. The way she was staring up at me, her sky blue eyes reflecting the need in mine. They told me everything I needed to know.

  Her lips were parted, so inviting.

  I needed to taste her.

  My conversation with Dante a few days ago had played on my mind all day. Act on my desires or don’t. One of my desires was to kiss this girl in my arms. Kiss her fucking senseless because I couldn’t hold back any longer.

  I leant towards her until our noses brushed.

  “Say no if you don’t want this,” I whispered.

  I waited but Ellie didn’t speak. She just stared at me with those pink parted lips, almost as if she was urging me to close the distance.

  My lips met hers with the gentlest of touches. The heady wave of desire hit me like a ton of bricks. Gentle wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough when it came to Ellie. I gripped her face harder and pressed my mouth firmly against hers, feeling her lips move under mine as she kissed me back.

  Ellie kissed me back.

  It was so tentative in the beginning, but I needed more. So much more. I wanted to taste Ellie properly. Her mouth parted for me, allowing me access to her tongue which curled with mine.

  Fuck.

  She tasted sweet like strawberries. And she moaned into my mouth, her hands clutching my t-shirt, trying to draw me closer. My restraint was shot to pieces in that instant. Ellie made it clear with her actions she wanted this as much as I did.

  I walked her backwards until she was pressed up against the desk. My hand tangled in her hair, locking her in place as I kissed her deeper, demanding more. Her hand wound up my neck and curled around it, anchoring me to her. Fucking hell, she was magic. She felt like heaven, pressed against me, her mouth latched onto mine. My cock dug into her stomach between us, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind. She gripped the back of my t-shirt with her other hand, keeping me pinned to her.