by Sarah Bailey
He’d growled, the vibrations skimming across my neck where his mouth rested over my pulse and his teeth grazed my skin, telling me to wrap my legs around him whilst he tore off my underwear and fucked me up against the wall. I knew it would be passionate. All consuming. And completely wrong.
He knew it too which is why he backed away, scraping his hand through his hair, his green eyes wild with want and need. Leaving him there after we’d both stopped panting had been torturous. I’d kissed his cheek, running my hand down his solid chest, feeling the contours of his body against my palm.
“I can stay on Saturday.”
My parting words. We’d spoken about seeing each other after this family event, but I hadn’t said I’d stay over because I needed to make sure I could without Jen becoming suspicious. When I’d mentioned I’d be staying out she’d just shrugged and told me it was fine. My twin usually asked questions. The cracks in our relationship widened. Powerless to stop it, I said nothing. What would be the point? It’s not like I could tell her who I’d be with or why I was acting so secretive. She’d probably figured out I was seeing someone. Like a sixth sense. The twin thing was equal parts wonderful and annoying.
“Fi, we’re here.”
I jolted in my seat, turning to find my sister already out of the car with her head stuck through the door staring at me. I hurriedly undid my seatbelt and crawled out of James’ car. Jen gave me an odd look as she shut the door and we walked up the steps.
“You’re acting weird again,” she hissed.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
“Who wants to take bets Dante has knocked Liora up?” James said, grinning as we reached him and Ellie by the door.
“Yeah right,” Jen retorted. “We’re just here for her birthday.”
“I don’t know, she wasn’t drinking when we went out,” Ellie piped up.
“She doesn’t really drink. Dante wouldn’t be so careless anyway.”
“Who said anything about being careless?” James said. “Maybe they’ve been planning it.”
“I’m with James,” I said. “I think she is. I mean come on, Dante isn’t getting any younger.”
Jen turned to me, her eyebrow raised. Now James had brought it up, it made sense. I had a feeling about it. Besides, I was pretty sure Dante wanted kids even if he’d never said it out loud.
“So? Liora’s just turned twenty three and they haven’t been married that long. They have plenty of time to think about kids,” Jen said, shaking her head at me.
None of us got a chance to say anything further because the door opened. Brent looked over the four of us, rolled his eyes and walked away.
“Dickhead,” Jen called after him as we all piled in through the door and I shut it behind us.
He stuck his finger up at her before escaping into the kitchen.
“I swear he’s always had a crush on you,” James said, eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Gross! I’d rather cut off my own hands than sleep with Brent,” Jen retorted, slapping James around the back of his head.
“Dante would kill him,” I said as I hung up my coat and dumped my bag down by the door with my overnight clothes in.
Not that I could say anything since I was dating someone I really shouldn’t be, but that would never happen. Jen and Brent just about tolerated each other.
“What makes you think I’d let him?”
I snorted.
“You’d eat him alive. He wouldn’t know what hit him.”
She grinned and linked arms with me, dragging me away to the kitchen.
“I bet he’s shit in bed anyway.”
I didn’t comment since I didn’t really want to think about my brother’s best friend with a woman let alone Jen. We’d known Brent far too long for it not to be weird.
Everyone was gathered in the conservatory as usual. Since it was winter, Dante had the heating on, so it wasn’t too cold. Two streaks of fur dashed under the table whilst my sister in law ran after them. Dante and Liora had got kittens not too long ago. Something I knew pissed Brent off no end since he’d had to take care of them whilst the other two were at work. I thought they were cute, but then again, I liked animals. Perhaps not as much as Liora though.
“Happy birthday,” the four of us sang when she noticed us standing in the doorway.
“You’re here,” she said, beaming and rushing into James’ arms first.
After we’d all said our hellos and hugs were exchanged, we popped Liora’s gifts on the table. Jen and I spied Aiden immediately with Afie and made a beeline for him. Jen put her hands out and he rolled his eyes, giving his daughter over.
“Hello troublemakers.”
“I resent that accusation. James has clearly been telling tales,” Jen said with a grin. “We aren’t trouble, are we, Afie?”
I glanced around the assembled guests, noticing Brent looking at Jen with an odd expression on his face. Deciding not to say anything to Jen, I watched him for a moment longer. The two of them had tried to remain civil with each other in recent years, but when Brent first arrived on the scene, they constantly bickered like children. At first, I thought they might be attracted to each other but it soon became clear that wasn’t the case. They could barely stand to be in the same room let alone wanting to get up close and personal.
He caught me staring and frowned. I took it as an opportunity to slip away from Jen and Aiden and ended up next to him instead.
“What?” he grunted.
“What’s wrong with you today?”
He shrugged as he took a swig of beer.
“You’ll see,” he muttered, swiping a hand across his mouth.
He was staring right at Dante and Liora. It all but confirmed what James had joked about earlier.
“Did my brother knock up Liora?” I whispered.
He whipped his head down towards me, hazel eyes wide.
“Do not say a word, Fi,” he hissed. “She’ll kill me.”
I grinned and then pretended to zip up my lips. Him and Liora were thick as thieves. It hardly surprised me he’d been the first to know.
“I’m happy for them.”
“They already have two fur babies as Liora likes to call them. Don’t need a screaming infant too.”
The kittens were called Sooty and Sweep, which was Dante’s idea. Sooty was his favourite character as a kid on TV, so it really didn’t come as much of a surprise to me. Liora allowing him to name the kittens, however, was. Didn’t think my brother had much interest in pets since we’d never had any as kids.
“Holy shit, I’m going to be an aunt.”
“Keep your voice down.”
I rolled my eyes, nudging his arm.
“Come on, you know you’re happy for them, Uncle Brent.”
“Give me a break and do not tell your sister either. I swear to god she’ll lord that over me for life.”
I couldn’t help grinning.
“You know she’s going to find out soon.”
“Yeah and then where will I be? I’m not her punching bag.”
I put a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze.
“I’ve got a novel idea. Why don’t you two try be nice to each other?”
He barked with laughter.
“I think Jen will stop calling me a dickhead when hell freezes over.”
I dropped my hand and nudged him.
“Careful what you wish for there, Brent.”
Before he could answer, I sauntered off towards where Avery was standing with two people with two kids who I assumed were Aiden’s friends James had told me about.
“Hey,” Avery said with a small smile.
Something about the guy was oddly familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.
“Oh right, Fiona, this is Ben and Skye and their kids, Josh and Sadie.”
They both shook my hands and said hello. Then I squatted down to the two kids.
“Hello, I’m F
iona, but you can call me Fi.”
“Are you Aunty A’s friend?” the little girl, Sadie, asked.
“Oh well, Avery and I grew up together, so we’re more like family. She’s my brother’s best friend.”
I pointed over at James who was standing in the corner with Ellie. The two of them were making gooey eyes at each other probably because they had no idea anyone was looking.
“James!”
“That’s right. He’s my younger brother. Dante is my older brother and he’s married to Liora whose birthday it is today. And I have a twin sister, Jennifer.”
Josh stared at me with a blank expression, but Sadie’s eyes were bright and she grinned at me.
“What’s a twin?”
I looked up at her parents who nodded at me to continue. I didn’t want to overstep or anything.
“My sister and I were both in our mummy’s tummy at the same time. We look exactly alike.”
I pointed over at Jen and the little girl’s eyes darted between us.
“Wow! Mummy, Mummy, they the same.”
“Yes, sweetie, they are.”
It struck me then. Sadie’s eyes were the exact same shade as her father’s and there was only one other person I knew who had eyes like that.
No. Fucking. Way.
“I can’t wait to tell Uncle JenJen I met twins!”
Skye stroked her daughters head, giving her a soft smile.
“I’m sure he’d love to hear all about it.”
Ben scowled and looked away. His whole demeanour seemed to shift at the mention of Sadie’s uncle and not in a good way.
I felt sick to my stomach. The world seemed to drop out from underneath me. This couldn’t be happening. I remembered what he’d said about his family. How his brother’s name was Ben and he owned a tattoo shop. How he had two kids.
Jensen. My Jensen was Ben’s brother.
As if this entire situation couldn’t get any worse. As if my life couldn’t unravel any further. How could I ever tell my family? How could he tell his? He said their relationship was strained. We shouldn’t even be in a relationship with each other. This whole thing was a complete and utter mess.
“Fi, are you okay?” Avery asked. “You look really pale.”
“I… Um… I just need a minute.”
I stood abruptly and backed away. All of them were looking at me with concern, but I shook my head. I tried not to run away, but my feet had other ideas. I bolted from the conservatory and ran upstairs, dashing into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. My breathing was erratic and my heart slammed against my ribcage.
How had this happened? How? Why hadn’t I asked more questions when he told me about his family? Why was I stupid enough to believe things would just go relatively smoothly from now on?
I slid down the door, tears pricking at my eyes. Why the hell did he have to have some kind of connection to my family? I hadn’t always gotten along with her, but Avery was practically my sister and here I was, seeing her husband’s best friend’s brother. A brother who couldn’t stand the man I was completely enamoured with if his expression was anything to go on at the mere mention of Jensen by his daughter.
There was a knock at the door.
“Fi, are you okay?”
It was Jen. Of course, she knew something was wrong with me. Why did we have to be twins? It would be so much easier if we weren’t. If I didn’t have to lie to her. I missed my sister so much. I missed being able to confide in her.
My life is screwed up. So screwed up.
“Open the door.”
I didn’t want to speak to her. The only person I wanted to see and speak to right now was Jensen. I needed him to reassure me it would be okay even though deep down I knew it wouldn’t be. Nothing about us was okay. Nothing about us would ever be okay.
“Fi, I know something’s wrong.”
I hit the back of my head against the door, willing her to go away.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” I called out.
“Please talk to me.”
I couldn’t. I just bloody well couldn’t. Feeling all of my anxiety and guilt building up inside me, threatening to drown me from the inside out, I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms.
“I said I’ll be down in a minute.”
I heard her sigh followed by her footsteps. There was absolutely no way I could stay here. Not when I felt like this. How could I go out there and act normal? The glaringly obvious answer was I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough. Usually, I could put on a brave face, but my walls had been torn down and I felt as though I was bleeding out. All the stress of the past month had caught up with me. Only one person had the ability to calm me down and put me back together. And he was the one person who I shouldn’t have ever wanted or needed in the first place.
Pulling myself up to my feet, I opened the bathroom door and walked out. No one was about when I descended the stairs, so I pulled my coat on, picked up my bag and slipped out the front door. As I walked away from Dante and Liora’s house, I tugged out my phone, ordered an Uber and sent a quick text to the one person I knew wouldn’t come after me.
ME: Can you tell everyone I’m not feeling well, please?
ELLIE: You okay?
ME: Not really, but I can’t talk about it.
ELLIE: You sure?
ME: I want to tell you, but you can’t tell James or anyone else.
ELLIE: You can trust me. I promise.
Jensen would be angry if I did this, but I was completely overwhelmed and had no one to confide in. No one at all.
I kept walking up the street, contemplating whether or not to tell my brother’s girlfriend who Mr Green Eyes really was.
ME: I’m seeing someone I shouldn’t be and lying to everyone about it is killing me inside. Especially Jen.
It was about as honest as I could get without actually revealing Jensen’s identity.
ELLIE: Is this Mr Green Eyes?
ME: Yes.
ELLIE: Is he worth it?
I didn’t reply. Unsure of how to answer. My Uber turned up the next minute and I got in. No one could come after me now. I’d walked out on my sister in law’s birthday party, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty about it. I was already carrying so much guilt, it didn’t matter any longer.
I thought about Ellie’s question all the way to Jensen’s, turning it over and over in my mind. Was he worth it? Was all this pain and heartache worth it? It always came back to the same simple answer. As I got out of the Uber and walked towards his building, I tapped out a reply.
ME: Yes. He’s worth every second.
ELLIE: Then don’t worry about what everyone will think. Just be happy.
I didn’t know if I could just be happy like Ellie said. Not after what I’d found out today.
As I got in the building and went to the lift, I punched in the code he’d given me for the penthouse. I wasn’t meant to turn up until later. I fidgeted the whole way up, wondering what his reaction would be to me just appearing without telling him I’d left early. Did it matter when all I could think about was who he was related to? How he was connected to my family in a strange twist of fate.
The doors opened far sooner than I wanted them to. I stepped out, my skin prickling.
“Jensen?” I called out, my voice shaky.
I was met with silence. I walked towards his living room, wondering if he was even here. I froze on the threshold. He was sat on the floor in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt surrounded by papers and perched on his face were a pair of black glasses. He looked so effortlessly sexy like that. I didn’t even know he needed them, but hell, they made him a hundred times more attractive than before.
My bag fell out of my hands, the noise ringing through the room. He looked up, his eyes meeting mine and a frown appeared on his face.
“Little one?”
It all slammed into me at once. This man was everything to me. E
ven though it was so wrong. Even though our relationship shouldn’t even exist.
I couldn’t walk away.
I could never, ever walk away from him.
“I… I just met your brother.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jensen
Her words echoed in my ears over and over again. At first, I’d been confused about why she was here so early, but then she’d said those five words and it changed everything. I dropped the papers I was holding and got to my feet. Fiona stood there in the doorway, her blue eyes wide and unblinking.
“What do you mean?”
“Ben. I met Ben and Skye, Josh and Sadie.”
If she hadn’t said those names, I might have thought she was joking. I took a step towards her, unsure of what to say or do.
“Sadie calls you Uncle JenJen, doesn’t she?”
Why had Fiona met my family? She was supposed to be at her brother’s today for her sister in law’s birthday party. I couldn’t blame her for turning up here after meeting them. The question was how.
“She does.”
A small smile played on her lips.
“She got excited about meeting twins for the first time and being able to tell you about it.”
I couldn’t help the ache in my chest brought on by knowing she thought about me. That my niece wanted to tell me of all people. It didn’t matter right then.
“What happened, Fi?”
She looked down, fidgeting with her hands in her coat.
“I’ve been trying to work that out myself. How the world could be so vast and yet so small at the same time. You see… I grew up with Avery Daniels, well, she’s Avery Lockhart now. James and her have been best friends since they were five. And Avery is married to Aiden who I now know is your brother’s best friend. I’d heard of Ben before, many times from James and Avery, but today is the first time we were introduced. So you can imagine my surprise when I realised why they looked so familiar. Why I should’ve put two and two together when you mentioned your family in the first place.”