by Sarah Bailey
“Yes, I’ll be your fake girlfriend, but it won’t be indefinitely. We clear?”
“Crystal.”
I pushed my chair back and stood up, placing my napkin on the table.
“Good, because I don’t have anything else to say to you.”
He nodded slowly.
“I’ll be in touch. We can fully discuss the terms over the coming weeks.”
I didn’t reply to him. I just walked away, my heart sinking with every step. Had I made the right decision? How could it be anything but the right choice. Allowing Dante’s secret to come to light wasn’t an option.
Dante owes me. Big fucking time.
Except I couldn’t even tell him. No one in my family could know. This was fucked up. So bloody fucked up.
All the way home, I felt like throwing up my dinner. I took the tube, wanting to get lost in amongst the crowds because being alone with my thoughts had me in knots. Who was I kidding? I was alone in this no matter what.
How had Max found out? Who gave him that document? Did he have a grudge against my family or was he just an opportunist?
Questions whirled around in my head until it was pounding so hard, I could barely walk up the road to the house. Letting myself in, I found it was quiet and still. Dante and Liora were likely upstairs. Just knowing I wasn’t alone soothed me a little.
I wandered into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, knocking it back before refilling the glass. When I turned, he was standing in the doorway watching me. Brent had a cautious expression on his face. I didn’t feel like arguing or talking. What happened with Max weighed heavily on me. All I wanted was to curl up in bed and allow misery to set in. Because that’s how I felt. Upset. I was being blackmailed. How could I feel anything else? Yes, I was angry, but he’d found a way to hit me the hardest by going after my family.
Popping the glass on the counter, I walked towards him slowly. His eyes tracked my movements until I stood before him. I didn’t look up, I stepped closer, wrapped my arms around his back and lay my head against his chest. His solid body against mine made my heart hammer. His warmth seeped into me. Soothing the deep seated ache which had set in my soul a fraction.
“Jen?”
“Don’t talk,” I whispered.
I just wanted a moment of quiet. If he could afford me this small meagre portion of comfort, I could survive the night.
“Where were you tonight?”
“I said don’t talk.”
He let out a long sigh and curled his arms around me. It felt so good to be held even if it was by Brent of all people. It’s not like I could tell him what happened. What would that achieve? He’d only want to go tell Dante and it would mean ruin for all of us. I had to assume Max knew more than what he’d told me. Our family was seeped in secrets, lies, debts and abuse.
“I feel so alone,” I murmured, the words spilling out without me really thinking about them.
“Because Fi’s got Jensen now?”
Well, there was that. I missed Fi more than I could put into words. I had to get used to her being gone, but that wasn’t creating the pit of loneliness inside my stomach.
“Yes and no.” I tipped my head back and looked up at him. “Why are you being nice to me?”
He frowned, a small furrow appearing between his brows. I wanted to smooth it away.
“You hugged me.”
“And I’m pretty sure you were waiting to see if I came home or not.”
That had him looking a little contrite.
“I’m merely looking out for you since your brother asked me to.”
I rolled my eyes. Why wasn’t I surprised?
“Dante just has to stick his oar in, doesn’t he? I’m twenty seven years old. I stopped being a child a long time ago. I don’t need him to take care of me, or you for that matter.”
“You’ll always be his little sister.”
A fact I didn’t need reminding of. It was because of me being Dante’s little sister that this shit between Brent and I was so messed up.
“Yeah well, just because I’m the only one who isn’t all loved up and shit, doesn’t mean he gets to play overprotective brother act all day. He’s got Liora and the baby to worry about.”
I could see Brent holding back a smile.
“He delegated.”
“Do you really have to do what he says? I mean, you know I don’t need protecting.”
Except I do what with Max and his blackmail crap.
He shrugged. We were still in each other’s arms and I was beginning to get a stirring in my stomach from being in close contact with him. I didn’t want to step back, but I did. Just a little to put some space between us.
“Yes. Do you think I want to deal with his drama queen act if he finds out I haven’t been doing as he asked?”
I rolled my eyes again, trying not to laugh at Brent calling my brother a drama queen.
“Fine, just don’t be all overbearing and in my face about it, got it?”
He smiled. I ignored how it made my heart race. And how his whole face lit up. And how I wanted to kiss him right then.
Ugh! What the actual fuck? I’m not kissing him again. We’re not going to sleep together again. End of story.
“Got it.”
“Will you do me a favour?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“What kind of favour?”
I stepped back further and he let his arms fall. Nudging my toe against the kitchen tiles, I fixed my gaze on the ground.
“Will you come upstairs with me and stay until I fall asleep?”
I didn’t want to see his expression, worried he’d say no. This wasn’t asking for sex. I didn’t think I’d be able to go to sleep if I wasn’t distracted from my thoughts about Max and his threats.
“What happened tonight?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Do you want to watch a film or play on the Switch or something?”
I looked up then. He didn’t look put out, just curious.
“You’d let me play your precious video games?”
That had him rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, doubt you could beat me.”
I smirked.
“Oh, it’s on.”
Grabbing my glass of water off the counter, I walked by him into the hallway and up towards the stairs.
“Coming?” I threw over my shoulder.
I heard his footsteps behind me. We could play nice for once. Although I was pretty sure I’d get super competitive and give him shit, but what better way to distract myself from all the crap whirling around in my head.
Chapter Six
Brent
There was something up with Jen. I didn’t know what it was, but it couldn’t be anything good. For the past week she’d been working late only to come home and not want to be by herself. With Liora not feeling herself, Dante hadn’t noticed Jen and I spending countless hours in the living room either watching TV or trying to beat each other at Mario Kart.
Tonight the entire Benson clan had descended on the house. A yearly tradition to celebrate their mother’s life on the day she’d been taken from them. A number of things had changed since last year. We were about to welcome a new member into the family, James and Fi had partners and Jen was living at home again. At least Dante’s was considered their family home what with their hated memories about Zach’s house where they’d grown up.
With Liora not feeling up to preparing a huge meal for everyone, it’d been left to me to order in. I’d just finished sorting everyone’s choices for Indian and placed the order on my phone when it started ringing.
Cam.
I really didn’t want to speak to my sister but if I didn’t answer, there’d be hell to pay later. Excusing myself from the living room, I walked out onto the landing and answered.
“Hello?”
“You won’t believe what Billy has done this time,” cam
e the husky tones of my sister, Camilla, who’d been a chain smoker since she was twelve years old.
Yeah, I’d grown up in a shitty area on a council estate and my sister still lived there with her six kids and our dad. I tried to see them every couple of months, but it was also fucking depressing. Mum left when we were young and Dad was an alcoholic. I’d stepped up to the plate and helped raise Cam, which meant she ended up calling me whenever something was wrong. Like now apparently.
“What?”
Her eldest, William was always in trouble at school for one thing or another. At fourteen, he’d been expelled from at least one school already and it wasn’t looking good for the current one. How this had become my problem was a mystery to me since he had a dad. Aaron might be a wastrel but he was still Billy and Kyle’s father. Kyle was twelve and a complete book nerd. She had three kids, Crystal, Jaqueline and April, with Sid and last but not least, there was Kayden, her youngest with her current on and off boyfriend, Manny.
“He was caught threatening some kid with a knife on the school grounds. I really need you to come sort him out. He won’t listen to me.”
My sister had to be joking. Billy didn’t listen to me either. He was a law unto himself. The kid was destined for prison before he’d even turned eighteen at this rate.
“And why on earth do you think I have time to deal with your son yet again?”
“Come on, Brent, you know you’re better at this discipline stuff than I am.”
I shook my head. My sister really did my head right in.
“Here’s an idea, why don’t you ask his father to speak to him? You know as well as I do Aaron is the only person in this world he looks up to.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“I’m busy. I can’t come deal with your son and even if I wasn’t busy, I’d still be telling you to sort it out yourself. I’m not his father and it’s not my fault you don’t get along with Aaron any longer.”
I heard the kids screaming in the background and Cam shouting at them to be quiet.
“Please, you always come. You always help me.”
In the past, perhaps, but now I was fed up. My sister kept pulling this shit with me and I was done. Not least because I had enough shit going on in my own life. I didn’t have the energy to deal with hers too.
“No, Cam. I’m not coming to your fucking rescue. Deal with your kids yourself. If you knew you wouldn’t be able to cope, then you shouldn’t have fucking well got knocked up so many times. Don’t call me unless you have a genuine emergency or something is wrong with Dad. I’m not your fucking dogsbody. You get enough out of me as it is. I’m done.”
I hung up on her before I said anything else I regretted. Slamming my hand against the wall, I let out a long breath. God my sister really wound me up.
“Brent?” came the tentative tones of Jen from behind me.
I didn’t turn around. Seeing Jen would really fuck with me right now. I was desperate to know what was going on with her. Why she seemed to suddenly be okay with spending time with me after she’d spent twelve years hating me. Was it because we’d had sex? Did she still hate me like she said she did? I had no clue. Her being here and probably having heard my conversation with my sister didn’t help me in the slightest.
“What is it, Jen?”
“Are you okay?”
I turned and stared at her. Her blue eyes were wide and her face full of confusion.
“Do I look okay to you?”
My voice came out all harsh when I hadn’t meant it to. Her expression dropped.
“Well, excuse me for being concerned,” she snapped back.
“Since when did you start giving a shit about me?”
Hurt flashed across her features before she steeled them. Her hand came up and curled into a fist before falling back to her side.
“You know what, Brent? Fuck you… Just fuck you.”
Her words were loud enough that they likely carried through into the living room. She turned on her heel and stormed towards it.
“Jen…”
She stuck up her middle finger behind her before disappearing through the door. I scraped a hand across my face. Well, I’d fucked that right up. We’d had a weird sort of truce between us up until now. Whilst it bothered me a little, I’d also enjoyed spending time with her without all the name calling and her telling me where to go. Just me and Jen having a laugh with each other. It’d been nice, almost like we were turning a corner.
What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you ruining shit between you?
I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and followed her. When I sat back down on one of the sofas, I had a hard stare from Dante as if he was pissed off about me and Jen were fighting again. I shrugged at him. What did he want me to do? I had no control when it came to Jen. None whatsoever.
***
It was just my luck I got stuck sitting next to Jen at dinner, although hardly surprising considering Fi and James had insisted on Ellie and Jensen attending. Jen was clearly as unhappy with the seating arrangements as me. She’d barely said a word, scowling into her lamb jalfrezi like she had a grudge against it. Fi kept glancing at her. Clearly her twin sense was buzzing.
When everyone else was occupied I leant over to her.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I whispered.
She didn’t respond, just glanced at me with a deadly look in her eyes. She wasn’t going to make this easy for me. Great. I had to try because living under the same roof with her pissed off at me wasn’t going to be fun.
“Please don’t be mad at me. I thought we were getting along.”
“You thought wrong,” she hissed before turning away.
Testing the waters, I reached out under the table and ran my fingers along the edge of her thigh. She stiffened. When she looked back at me, her blue eyes were blazing, like the firestorm I knew her to be.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” she ground out, her voice low and laced with anger.
The next thing I knew, she’d pushed back her seat, spitting out “Excuse me,” before storming out of the room. I sighed, rubbing my face. Fi stared after her and looked like she was about to get up too.
I put a hand up. “I’ll go. I’m the one she’s pissed off at.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“No, but I can handle Jen.”
Fi gave me a sympathetic look. She knew just how much shit Jen always gave me. Dante gave me a significant look before I left the table. He knew all about his little sister’s temperament and her wild moods. Probably glad I was on the receiving end and not him. It was like I’d said, I could handle Jen when she spat fire at me. However, things were different between us since we’d slept together. I wasn’t sure whether we’d end up having a shouting match or if it’d escalate into something else. Like hate fucking. Something I couldn’t exactly afford to engage in considering everyone was here and I swore to myself I wouldn’t allow either of us to get carried away again.
I found Jen pacing the first floor landing, her fists clenched at her sides. When she saw me, she stopped in her tracks, her face contorting with rage.
“What the fuck do you want?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk to you.”
I took a step towards her.
“I said I was sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to snap at you. My sister just pisses me off, which you likely heard anyway.”
“I don’t care. Apology not accepted.”
I took another step in her direction.
“Tonight isn’t about us, it’s about celebrating your mother.”
“There is no us. There never has been.”
I stifled a sigh, well aware we were not, and never would be, an ‘us’.
“I’m trying here, Jen. You never make anything easy on me and that’s okay, but this isn’t the time.”
She threw her hands up.
/> “You don’t need to fucking try. We are not friends. We are nothing.”
If only she knew how much it hurt. How it ripped my heart to pieces. My chest burnt, but I ignored it. Jen might have her claws out, but I wasn’t scared of her when she got like this. I moved further towards her. There were only a couple of steps left between us.
“Why are you so pissed off at me?”
“Not everything is about you! Don’t be so fucking narcissistic.”
“Then stop shouting at me.”
“Just leave me the fuck alone.”
She was practically screaming now and I knew very well the sound would be carrying downstairs. If she thought I was going to leave her like this, she had another think coming. Reaching out, I gripped her arm and pulled her towards her bedroom. I think she was so surprised I’d done it, she didn’t resist. When we were inside with the door shut, I let go of her. Those heated blue eyes stared up at me.
“What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve been weird ever since that night you hugged me, so either you tell me what’s wrong or you calm the fuck down, come downstairs and have dinner with your family.”
She put her hands up as if to shove me away but I caught both of them. Her eyes were molten. She could spit fire at me all she wanted, but I wasn’t letting her ruin what was meant to be a celebration of her mother’s life.
“Let go!”
“No.”
“I hate you.”
“You’ve made that clear on many, many occasions.”
It still stung when she said it, but I was trying my best to ignore that part.
“Why do you even care what’s wrong with me? Huh? Trying to be the hero or something?”
I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. She really didn’t have a filter when she was angry.
“Yes, Jen, because you’re really such a damsel in distress. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Just let go of me.”
She struggled in my grasp. I held on tighter, pulling her closer to me so she’d stop trying to get away.
“Tell me what’s going on with you.”
“Why should I? You’re not my fucking friend, Brent. We don’t owe each other anything just because we fucked three times.”