by Sarah Bailey
Plans needed to be made, but first, I needed to get back to the hospital after we’d cleaned Jen up a little. Her makeup streaked across her wet face and I was pretty sure she didn’t want to go looking like that.
“He is, but you have me in your corner.”
“How are you going to get me out of this?”
“I’ll work it out, okay? There’s a lot you don’t know about what I do for D. I’m going to need you to act like everything is normal for now. I promise, I’ll fix this. You can count on that much.”
I had no real idea how, I just knew I had to get her out of this situation. Not just for her, but for her entire family.
“Can I?”
“You can. I know I’ve fucked up so many things between us, but I’m not going to fuck this up.”
Her blue eyes were full of emotion, drowning me with their intensity.
“You’ll keep me safe?”
I nodded. Jen didn’t need rescuing, but she couldn’t handle this on her own. Max Graves had no idea what he was up against and he wouldn’t see me coming.
“I thought you weren’t a damsel in distress.”
She bit her lip before dissolving into a fit of giggles and fuck if it wasn’t cute as hell.
“I’m not,” she protested through her laughter.
I tugged her back into my arms and held her tight. I’d protect Jen at all costs. My Jen. My firestorm. She pulled away when she stopped laughing.
“We should get to the hospital.”
“You need to get cleaned up first, no offence, but your makeup is ruined. And we need to hide these.”
I brushed my fingers over the marks on her neck, hating the sight of them. If I ever got my hands on Max Graves, I’d teach him a fucking lesson. But that wouldn’t help our cause in the slightest.
“It looks bad, doesn’t it?”
“Kind of. Does it hurt?”
“A little, my throat still feels raw. I really thought he wasn’t going to stop.”
I was fucking glad he had even if he’d hurt her. It would shatter me completely if I lost Jen entirely.
She moved away from me, grabbing her wipes off her chest of drawers and cleaning her face up. I sat on her bed, watching her as she moved about the room, taking off her dress and throwing on a pair of jeans and a top with a high neck which covered the marks. She pulled on a hooded jumper before stepping over to me. Even without makeup, Jen was absolutely stunning. She took my hand and sighed softly.
“Should we go meet my nephew?”
I smiled and stood up.
“Yeah.”
She kept a hold of my hand as we went out to the car. Fuck did I wish I could do this all the time. Have her hand in mine and show the world she was mine.
But she wasn’t mine.
And she never could be.
I’d promised to help her, but it didn’t mean we could be together. I still had too much to lose if I went down that path with her. That knowledge wrecked and ruined me, but I had to keep it together for both our sakes.
Jen was silent on the drive over, her eyes downcast as if all the memories of what happened to her weighed heavily on her soul. I wanted to take away her pain. Help her heal. It’s what I’d always wanted. To quell the darkness encompassing her and show her just how amazing she was. A strong, beautiful warrior. My firestorm.
“You okay?” I asked, pulling into the carpark.
“No.”
I parked up and reached over, brushing my fingers along her jaw. She leant into my touch.
“If it’s too much, just tell me and I’ll take you back home.”
“No, I need to be here for Dante and Liora.”
“Everyone else is here. Not sure the midwives are pleased with the whole Benson clan descending on their ward, but they won’t kick us out.”
“I want to be here.”
Jen had that determined look in her eyes. There was no arguing with her. I dropped my hand and got out of the car, going over to the machine to pay for parking. I had Dante’s keys so I transferred over the car seat to his car before we went upstairs to the ward.
“Look who I found,” I said as we walked into the waiting room.
James, Ellie and Jensen looked up.
“Hey Jen,” James said with a lopsided smile.
Jen waved before making a beeline for Jensen and taking a seat next to him. I flopped down in a chair next to James, wanting to give her space.
“Do we know the latest?” I asked.
“They think it’s going to be a few hours yet. Fi said Liora’s holding up okay and Dante is a mess.”
“Well, shit, always knew he’d struggle with this.”
James dropped his voice low, “Pretty sure he doesn’t like seeing Liora in pain unless he’s inflicting it.”
I snorted, unable to help myself. James was on the nose with that one. Dante had been on edge the entire pregnancy since obviously he couldn’t risk the baby. He’d spoken to me about it on numerous occasions. Whilst I sympathised, I also told him to suck it up since it wasn’t like Liora had banned sex or anything. I got hit in the arm for that comment. I probably deserved it. Winding Dante up when he was in a mood wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had, especially when he’d been deprived of his outlet.
Liora, of course, asked me to keep an eye on him because she worried about the state of his mind. He did talk to her far more than he did me, but Dante was stubborn as fuck when it came to dealing with his shit. He never liked to appear weak or in need.
“You haven’t had to deal with him getting antsy and shit over it for the past eight months,” I replied, my voice just as low.
James smirked. For some reason, Dante had told him all about the hidden side of his relationship with Liora. Dante refused to tell me why, only that it’d been necessary. It’s not like he was ashamed of it, he just didn’t like his private affairs broadcast. Another reason why I needed to nip this Max situation in the bud.
I looked over at Jen. She seemed to be in a heated whispered discussion with Jensen. Her eyes met mine for a moment before she looked away. I could’ve sworn I saw immeasurable sadness in them and it cut me. I’d done that by ‘choosing Dante over her’. A problem I couldn’t fix. And it killed me.
***
Hours went by whilst we all waited. Ellie fell asleep on James. Fi came in and sat with Jensen for a while whilst Jen went to see Liora and Dante. I even made another appearance. They seemed to be holding up okay but you could tell Liora was exhausted and just wanted Logan here now.
Jen was asleep with her head resting against my shoulder when Dante came in with a wide eyed expression on his face.
“He’s here,” was the only thing he said before he collapsed in a chair by the door and put his head in his hands.
I gently moved Jen, propping her head on Jensen instead. Not sure he appreciated it but seeing to Dante was more important at that moment. I squatted down next to him and put a hand on his arm.
“You okay there?”
“I have a son. He’s perfect and I’m fucking terrified.”
“Is Liora okay?”
“Yeah, she’s exhausted, but she’s okay. You guys can go see him if you want.”
I glanced over to where James had taken my place and had Jen’s head in his lap. We could go soon, but right now, I was worried about my best friend.
“D…”
“I can’t do this,” he whispered.
“You can. Logan needs his dad.”
He looked down at me through exhausted eyes.
“What if I turn out like Zach?”
“You’re nothing like him and you know that. You think Liora would’ve agreed to marry you let alone have a baby with you if you were?”
He sighed.
“No.”
“Well then, stop being a little whiney bitch and introduce us all to your son.”
“Fuck off,” he grumbled.
I grinned. He
might not like it, but I knew exactly how to get him to stop overthinking things. I straightened and nodded at the others. James shook Jen and she blinked rapidly, sitting bolt upright.
“What’s going on?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Logan’s here,” James said.
That had her out of her seat and striding towards the door. I caught her by the arm before she could disappear.
“There’s no rush.”
She waited with an anxious look on her face as the rest of us got up, including Dante.
“They’re not going to like us crowding her room,” he said as we all walked out of the waiting room.
“Considering last time we were here Liora screamed at the nurses for trying to make her leave your side, I think we’ll be okay.”
He smirked. I don’t think James would ever forget that moment. He told me Liora was like a hellcat and it was terrifying.
Dante opened the door to her room and we all crowded in. Liora was sitting up in the bed with a small bundle in her arms and Fi was in the chair beside her. As soon as she saw Jensen, she was out of it and in his arms.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded, her eyes glistening.
“It was beautiful.”
“One day that’ll be you and me.”
Fi’s smile was electric. I turned away, not wanting to intrude further on their little shared moment. I’d always known the twins wanted to have kids by the way they’d constantly badger Aiden when he brought Afie around.
Dante immediately went over to Liora and leant down, kissing her forehead. She smiled up at him. They looked like the perfect little family. Jen must’ve thought so too since she had her phone out and was snapping a photo of them. Liora looked up and met my eyes before she beckoned me over with a little nudge of her head. I approached them, looking down at Logan whose eyes were wide open.
“He’s beautiful.”
I wasn’t lying. He was perfect just as Dante had said. You couldn’t tell straight away with babies who they’d end up favouring, but Logan had dark blue eyes with a tuff of black hair.
“You want to hold him?”
I nodded as Liora held him out for me. I took the precious little bundle in my arms and stared down at him. He gurgled a little but didn’t fuss.
“Hey there,” I whispered. “You look just like your dad.”
I felt a hand on my arm and glanced over, finding Jen peering over my arm at her nephew. I lowered him a little so she could get a better view.
“He’s perfect,” Jen whispered, reaching over and stroking his tiny hand.
Her eyes welled with tears. One day she was going to make the most beautiful babies. And I wanted to be the one who made them with her.
Fuck. Where the hell did that thought just come from?
I’d never thought of myself having kids after dealing with all of Cam’s, but with Jen… that’d be entirely different. She wanted to be a mother and she’d be amazing. My heart burnt knowing I’d probably never get the chance. Jen wasn’t mine.
I pulled my gaze away from her, knowing we were in a room full of people and promptly handed Logan off to her. Stepping back, I stood next to Liora’s bedside.
“Your parents are getting the first flight down,” I told her.
They’d called to let me know not long after Jen and I had arrived at the hospital.
“Will you get them from the airport?”
“Yeah, I’ve got the details.”
It was gone three in the morning now. It’d mean I’d barely get any sleep, but at this point, it didn’t matter.
“Thank you.”
“You did good, Liora.”
She gave me a tired smile and I knew she wanted to rest. Dante was stroking her hair and staring down at her like she was everything to him. I watched Logan get handed around all the family before he landed back with his mum. Then I hustled everyone out so Dante and Liora could be alone and perhaps get some sleep.
We all said our goodbyes and I took Jen home. She fell asleep in the car with her face smashed against the window. When we got back, I picked her up out of the car and carried her in. She stirred when I set her down on her bed.
“Brent?”
“Mmm?”
“Don’t go.”
I didn’t answer her, merely sat down and untied the laces of her trainers, slipping them off her feet. She let me help her out of her clothes and dress her in a long t-shirt. She gripped my hand when I was done, her blue eyes drooping.
“Please don’t go.”
I didn’t have it in me to say no, so I stripped down to my boxers, turned out the lamp and crawled into bed next to her after setting an alarm on my phone. She curled up against me, her face half buried in my chest.
“I can’t believe I have a nephew,” she whispered. “He’s the most perfect baby imaginable.”
“He is.”
“Do you ever want what they have?”
“Who? Dante and Liora?”
“Yeah.”
I wanted it with her, but that wasn’t an option.
“Maybe one day.”
Her hand wrapped around my waist. I kissed the top of her head, unable to help myself. Having her right next to me felt so right. I thought she might have fallen asleep, but then she whispered something. I almost couldn’t make out the words. When I realised what she’d said, my heart raced at a million miles an hour and I had no fucking clue how to respond.
“I want it with you.”
Had she meant for me to hear that? Was it because she was tired and emotional? She couldn’t possibly mean it, could she? I knew I’d hurt her by refusing to entertain more between us, but her words spoke of something so much deeper. Had her feelings towards me changed that much? I looked down at her but found her breathing had become steady and even. She’d fallen asleep.
Did this beautiful girl in my arms feel the same way I did?
And if so, could I really choose Jen over my best friend?
Because if Jen felt the same way as me, I wasn’t sure I’d have it in me to keep saying no.
Chapter Fifteen
Jennifer
I woke up when Brent’s alarm went off, the loud noise dragging me from my dreams.
“Fuck,” he muttered, leaning over to turn it off.
He needed to get Liora’s parents from the airport, but I didn’t want him to go. His body was so warm and I slept so well with him next to me. I let out a little noise of protest when he tried to move.
“I need to get up, Jen.”
“Five more minutes,” I mumbled.
I heard him sigh before he dropped a kiss to my forehead.
“You’re a pain in the arse, you know that.”
My arm around him tightened and I cracked an eye open, staring at him. The early morning light streamed in through the windows since we hadn’t closed the curtains. He was bathed in it and my breath caught in my throat. Why did he have to be so damn handsome?
“I’m your pain in the arse.”
He smiled. My heart ached. He wasn’t mine. Brent wouldn’t allow himself to be mine and it hurt so fucking much. He nuzzled his nose against mine.
“Yeah, I guess you are.”
His mouth was so close, I could feel his breath dancing across my skin. My blood fizzled sparking all those unwanted feelings in my chest and lower. And I felt entirely bereft when he pulled away and slipped out of my bed.
“I’m going to take them straight to the hospital. I’ll be back after that.”
“Okay,” I whispered, feeling the hollow cavern in my chest cave in.
I burrowed further under the covers, wanting to shut everything out so I could nurse my shattered heart without an audience. When he brushed a hand over my hair and told me he was leaving, I said nothing, pretending I’d gone back to sleep. And I couldn’t help the small sob which erupted from my lips the moment my bedroom door closed behind him. Tears soaked my p
illow, but I was so tired, I found myself dragged back under.
The next time I awoke, I sat bolt upright whilst the memory of what I’d said to Brent last night came flooding back.
“I want it with you.”
Why the hell had I said that? And more to the point, had he heard me? I groaned, flopping back on the bed and slapping a hand over my face. Brent had rejected me enough already. I wasn’t about to tell him about my real feelings for him, the ones I was still in two minds over admitting I had.
Stop being an idiot, Jen. You know how you feel about him.
Yeah, okay, I did.
I loved him.
I loved Brent.
And I didn’t know how the hell it had happened.
I’d never been in love before. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling such an emotion. Of letting someone in my heart like that. But he was there. He’d always been there. Like this person in the background who I thought I hated, but really, I didn’t hate him at all. Perhaps I just hated the way I felt deep down inside and took it out on him instead.
When I really thought about it, when I really looked inside myself, I saw the truth. Brent had been out of bounds because he was older than me and Dante’s bodyguard who’d, in time, become his best friend. I’d been a mute fifteen year old girl who’d suffered at the hands of her father only days beforehand when he’d first come into our lives. I felt something then. The moment his eyes met mine. It’d been like a frigging bullet to the heart, jolting me out of my haunted state of mind for the briefest of moments. My soul reached out and bound itself around his. And then I shut it right down and told myself it was just some bullshit response to seeing a hot older guy. From then on, I’d decided to hate him for it.
But it wasn’t bullshit at all. It’d been real. I just didn’t know if he’d felt it too. If he’d known back then what I knew now.
“I love you, Brent Coleman, and I think on some level, I always have,” I whispered to nobody in particular.