Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  “It’s funny how all those memories become so much clearer now I understand what was behind your need to know me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She turned around and stared at me, her blue eyes void of emotion.

  “It makes sense now. All of it. Every moment we spent fighting something that would ultimately consume us both. That’s why we’re here now. Everyone around us already knew what we couldn’t see.” She shook her head and looked down at her feet. “Funny how you can’t fight something which is meant to be.”

  I wasn’t sure I caught her meaning.

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I know, Brent. I know everything.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jennifer

  I should be pissed off. So fucking pissed off he’d gone to see my father and told him about Max and Logan. He should never have gone. Dad was manipulative and could twist anyone around to his thinking. I wasn’t sure I could believe that Dad would actually help us out with the situation with Max. Then again, the one thing Dad loved as much as himself was Bensons. I couldn’t find it in me to be angry with Brent for going though. Not when I finally understood what he’d been trying to tell me all this time. I thought he’d just been scared of Dante finding out we were together, but it was more than that. So much more.

  ***

  I wished he’d leave me alone. It made my determination to hate him that much harder. Why did he have to be so damn attractive? And nice. I didn’t want nice. I wanted to hate him in peace. Nothing I did made him back down. It was like he was determined to get to know me and I just resisted that pull between us. Resisted the attraction I felt for him. The attraction I kept denying was there.

  “D was telling me you two are quite partial to ice cream. What do you say I take you to that gelato place they’ve just opened nearby? You and Fi can get whatever you want.”

  I looked up at him. His stupid handsome face so eager to help me. I didn’t want his help even if Fi kept telling me he wasn’t so bad. If I accepted his help then I’d be giving in and I could never give in. It wouldn’t do me any good. I’d never have him in that way. In the way I wanted deep down. Not when he was twenty one and I’d just turned sixteen not too long ago. Dante had taken us all out to celebrate mine and Fi’s birthday at some fancy pants restaurant as a way for us all to get to know each other. He wanted us to treat Brent like one of the family. I don’t know why. He’d only been with us for a couple of months now, but already Dante, Fi and James had taken a shine to him. Me, on the other hand, I was reluctant to have anything to do with him because these feelings inside me wouldn’t go away. They wouldn’t die and it drove me insane.

  “Go away, Brent,” I hissed.

  “Come on, Jen, you need to get out of the house. You can’t stay locked up in here all day. Let me take you and Fi out, hmm?”

  So what if I didn’t want to leave the house? I hated people. People sucked. None of them understood what I’d been through. Fi and I hadn’t been out much since it happened. How could I when the memories threatened to consume me?

  “You’re not allowed to call me Jen.”

  He smiled at me, which only made my hands ball into fists at my sides.

  “Just come and get gelato. You don’t have to talk to me.”

  I wanted gelato, but I didn’t want to go with him.

  “Fi’s already agreed.”

  Trust Fi to agree. She liked Brent, but me? I hated him. He made me feel things I shouldn’t. I couldn’t imagine a man touching me after what Dad did to me, but my body reacted to Brent’s presence in ways I hated.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Why’d he have to be so damn persistent? I didn’t understand it. And why on earth was he reaching out to me now? When his fingers brushed over my arm, I felt like my skin was on fire and the way his hazel eyes seared into mine had me scrambling for words.

  “You like to keep all those walls up, Jen, but I can see you’re hurting,” he told me, his voice so soft. “Let me help you.”

  I hated the way he said my name. Hated that it made my heart thump in my chest. God I hated him so much. So why did his touch affect me? I never wanted him to stop. I craved his touch.

  His fingers continued to trail over my arm and it was like his eyes were trying to tell me something, but I couldn’t work out what.

  “I don’t want your help.”

  “You do, you just don’t want to admit it.”

  My breath caught in my throat as his hand closed over my forearm. The warmth of him seared into me.

  “It’s just gelato.”

  It wasn’t just gelato. Nothing with him was that simple. What the hell would it take to make him go away?

  “Stop touching me,” I whispered, almost unable to get the words out.

  He didn’t let go, rather just stared at me and it made my heart go crazy. What would it be like to have him touch me in other places? Would he make this better? Would he make my pain go away? The agony of what my father did to me never went away. It was this dull ache in my chest, tearing me to shreds.

  “Jen…”

  “Stop it.”

  “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  I swear he was leaning closer to me. It was too much. All of it. I couldn’t deal with the emotions and feelings coursing through my body like wildfire. So I did something I’d come to regret my entire life even if I buried what happened this day deep down inside me and kept it from resurfacing for so long.

  I ripped my arm away from him and backed away.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  He straightened and his face became stricken.

  “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Don’t,” I shouted at him. “Don’t ever come near me again. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much.”

  I’d never said that to him before. Never. The thing is, I didn’t really hate him. I told myself that so I’d forget how much I wanted him. How much I craved Brent’s presence and his touch like I’d never craved anything else before. I didn’t want to feel that way about him. Didn’t want to want him at all.

  He flinched. I could see the hurt in his eyes and the regret. He knew he’d pushed me and I’d reacted in the only way I knew how.

  “I’m sorry, please don’t say that. You don’t mean it.”

  “Yes, yes, I fucking well do. I hate you, Brent. I hate the day you came into my fucking life.”

  Then I turned away and ran. I ran to my bedroom I shared with Fi, shut the door and flung myself into bed, burrowing myself under the covers as tears ran down my cheeks. My chest ached and my heart felt like it was in a vice.

  I’d lied to Brent.

  I didn’t hate him at all.

  I just hated myself for wanting him so much when he was completely out of bounds.

  ***

  I almost choked as the memory threatened to rip me to shreds. I’d fucked everything up that day. Too scared to tell him the truth. To admit I wanted his help. To confess I just plain wanted him. And now, twelve years later, I regretted it more than ever. If I’d just allowed myself to feel those things then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe we could’ve been happy all this time.

  “Everything?” he asked, his expression confused.

  “You felt it, didn’t you? The first time. Like someone punching through your chest and squeezing your heart until you felt like it wouldn’t beat any longer.”

  His eyes widened and I knew it was true. He’d felt it. He’d known. And he’d tried to deny how he felt.

  “That’s why you told me no. Why you refused to entertain anything between us because all this time, you’ve felt something for me and you feel guilty because I was fifteen when we met.”

  He didn’t have to respond to me because it was written all over his face. I took a step towards him.

  “I never hated you. I hated
myself for the way I felt. It was so confusing. I didn’t understand why being near you made my heart hammer in my chest. Why I craved your presence. I didn’t want to feel that way. I couldn’t imagine wanting a man when my father had raped me and made me hate myself so much. But the thing is… I wanted you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life.”

  Saying those words out loud to him made my heart fracture in my chest. I’d made myself miserable by denying what was between us. It’d been so long, I’d almost forgotten those first few months he was here. The way I’d closed myself off from the world further because of my feelings for someone I couldn’t have. I’d buried those all so deep so they’d never resurface and haunt me. But here they were, taunting me with their vivid colours and forcing me to confront the truth.

  “What are you saying?” he almost whispered.

  “I’m saying since the day we met I’ve had feelings for you and I tried to deny their existence. I pushed you away because I didn’t want to feel those things. And it only made it worse.”

  I took another step, desperately wanting to be closer. Desperately needing him. Now I’d opened the flood gates, everything was spilling out. All my secrets. All my long hidden truths.

  “I’m saying I love you, Brent, and I think I always have.”

  He let out a slight choking sound, like he couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of my mouth. I’d laid myself bare and I hoped it paid off. Hoped he didn’t run now I’d shared the thing I’d never told anyone. Not even Fi.

  I had no idea how many minutes passed as we continued to stare at each other. Brent stood up, his face flooding with determination. He strode towards me and I was utterly powerless under his snare. His hands tangled in my hair, dragging me closer before he kissed me as if he was drowning and I was the only thing keeping him afloat. He consumed me. Devouring every part of me with his lips and tongue. I clutched his arms, barely able to hold myself up under the onslaught of his mouth. He ripped me apart only to put me back together again with each passing moment.

  When he pulled away slightly, we were both panting, deprived of oxygen after our earth shattering and soul destroying kiss.

  “Say it again,” he practically growled at me.

  “I love you.”

  Next thing I knew, he’d dipped and picked me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I felt so small in his arms. He surrounded me with his masculine scent. His mouth was on mine again, taking and taking until I could hardly breathe and my pulse raced out of control.

  “You’re mine,” he growled against my lips as he carried me from the room.

  He’d never been so intense before. Like my words had dragged out some kind of beast inside him and brought it to the forefront. Possession laced his tone. He held me as if he owned me and I guess in many ways he did. He always had.

  As we left the room, I noticed Liora coming down the stairs and I tried to pull away but Brent held fast. I watched her eyes go wide and her mouth go slack as he carried me away along the hall to my bedroom. Well, the cat was out of the bag there. No denying it now. She’d seen us.

  He only let my mouth go so I could open the door. I turned my head, finding my sister in law standing at the bottom of the stairs, her hand on the bannister and a confused, but pleased expression on her face.

  “Brent,” I whispered, turning back to him as I pushed the door open. “Liora’s seen us.”

  He glanced back before taking me into the room and shutting the door behind us. I found myself pressed down on my bed with him towering over me within moments. His fingers were tugging up my t-shirt and practically ripping my clothes from my body.

  “What about Liora?”

  “Do I look like I give a shit about Liora knowing?” I shook my head. “Then be quiet and let me make love to you.”

  I let out a squeak of surprise.

  “W…What? Make love?”

  I’d never had anyone call sex with me ‘making love’ before.

  “Yes, make love… I love you, Jen, and I want inside you right now.”

  Rendered speechless, I couldn’t do anything but watch him tear off his own clothes. The way his muscular body flexed with the movement made my mouth water. Brent was the epitome of everything I dared desire in a man. And he just happened to be mine.

  He pressed my legs open and settled between them, running the length of his cock along my soaking pussy. How could I not find this hot as hell? The way he’d kissed me, picked me up and staked his claim on me, not caring my sister in law, his best friend’s wife now knew about us.

  He loves me. He loves me. I can’t believe he loves me.

  The words hammered inside my head over and over.

  “How long?”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “How long what?”

  “How long have you loved me?”

  A sly smile appeared on his face before he gripped my hip and thrust inside me, causing a groan to spill out of my mouth. Fuck he felt so good.

  “You stole my heart the moment you looked at me. I’ve waited a long time to tell you how much I love you. You’ve never stopped infuriating me and driving me crazy, but none of that matters because I’m totally and irrevocably in love with you and I have been for the past twelve years. It’s always been you. It will always be you.”

  My mouth opened and closed. I had no idea what to say to that. I mean I’d suspected he’d had feelings for me this whole time, but love? Love didn’t really enter the equation.

  His hands came up and entwined with mine, pinning them to the bed as he thrust deeper inside me. Each flex of his hips made the flames burn hotter. Need pooled in my stomach. All I wanted was this man who’d turned my life upside down to drown me.

  “I love you so much, Jennifer Cassiopeia Benson,” he whispered against my lips when he lowered his to mine. “I want everything with you. I want us to fight, fuck and feel. I want to make you my wife and the mother of my children. I don’t give a shit what anyone else says, thinks or does. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

  My heart slammed so hard against my ribcage, I almost thought it would burst out.

  “You want to marry me?” I whispered.

  “Yes… You can be Mrs Coleman or Mrs Benson or whatever convoluted name you fucking wish. I don’t give a shit as long as you’re mine.”

  Well shit.

  “This isn’t a proposal, is it?”

  He laughed, pulling away slightly to stare down at me.

  “No, Jen. You’ll know it when I do ask you and make no fucking mistake, it will be happening.”

  I had nothing to say to that. Brent wanted to marry me. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. It didn’t feel too rushed or scary. It just felt right. We’d known each other twelve years. I didn’t need or want to wait another twelve.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you too, firestorm.”

  He kissed me then. Claiming my mouth like it belonged to him. And well, quite frankly, it did. Every part of me did. It should terrify me, but somehow, I no longer had the wherewithal to be freaked out.

  His thrusts became harder and more erratic, sending me spiralling upwards until the earth below me felt like it had shattered into a million tiny pieces.

  “Brent, oh god, Brent,” I moaned against his mouth, unable to help the sounds spilling from my lips.

  My body trembled and shook with the intensity of my climax. Waves of bliss crashed into me. I fell into the abyss of pleasure and I never wanted to come up for air. I heard him groaning above me, but I was too far gone to really register him coming apart too.

  The sweaty, panting mess we were both left in had us laying there for at least five minutes, unable to say a word. When he rolled off me, he propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers along my stomach.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered. “Perfect. Stunning. Sexy.”

  “Are you listing my attri
butes?” I grumbled.

  “Maybe.”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

  He grinned and leant down, kissing my cheek.

  “Oh, I know that all too well.”

  I giggled, which should come as a surprise to everyone since I never giggled in my fucking life. What the hell had happened to me? Brent was changing me in ways I didn’t understand but really, I didn’t care. He made me happy and I hadn’t been happy in a very long time.

  I sat up and grabbed a box of tissues off my bedside table so I could clean myself up a little, although quite honestly, we both needed a shower after that. My skin was sticky.

  “Ugh, I feel gross.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “What?”

  “I’m all sweaty and so are you.” I grinned. “How about a repeat of that in the shower?”

  He stared at me for a long moment. My smile fell.

  “What?”

  “Liora knows.”

  I frowned.

  “You didn’t seem to care much about that when you were carrying me into my bedroom.”

  “She might tell D.”

  I reached over and stroked his cheek, needing to reassure him things would be okay.

  “Dante isn’t going to hurt you or kick you out or any of those other things you’re imagining and you know why?”

  His hazel eyes clouded over.

  “Why?”

  He needed to understand something very important about me. I protected those I cared about and loved with my life. And he came top of the list now. Fi would always be my soulmate, but Brent? He was my everything.

  “Because I won’t fucking let him, that’s why. You and I are together and that’s tough fucking shit for him. So come get in the shower with me and then we’re going to have a very frank conversation with Dante and Liora over dinner.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Brent

  Jen seemed so confident about Dante’s reaction, but I wasn’t so sure. She stared at me with unnerving intensity so I knew she wouldn’t back down on this. Not with me and not with Dante.