Crazy for Your Love

by Lexi Ryan

  I stiffen. I don’t like this conversation, but worse is this dread crawling up my throat. Teagan wouldn’t meet my eyes tonight, and she was trying to get rid of me. I thought she wanted some distance after an intense night and morning together. Is she really meeting with him? “I know they were together again after Heath died. She told me.”

  The corner of her mouth twists smugly. “After.” She steps forward, shaking her head. “Yes, they were together after. But not again. Still.”

  I scowl. “What?”

  “There are enough of us who know the truth about her relationship with Heath. It wasn’t as perfect as she lets on. She wasn’t as faithful as she’d have everyone believe, and neither was he. She’ll deny it, but I know. Rich knows.”

  She’s jealous. Hurt and upset. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you. Teagan can tell me whatever I need to know.”

  “But why would she?” She shrugs. “Fine. Go back to the mansion and ask her about it. I suggest checking Rich’s room if she’s not in yours.”

  My stomach curdles at the idea, but no. Teagan wouldn’t sleep with Rich. He terrifies her. She asked me here to be a buffer between them. She even warned me that he’d try to get in my head. I wonder if she knows her cousin is just as bad. “Why do you hate her so much? You and I had one night. Why be so terrible to her?”

  “You’re a nice guy, Carter. And I think that night, part of you already knew you and Teagan wouldn’t last. Otherwise, you would’ve never taken another woman home.” She draws in a ragged breath. “I’m pissed you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend. You’re not off the hook for that—I’ve been the other woman before, and I never would have cast me in that role again if I’d known.”

  “You sent me pictures of your underwear after I told you I have a girlfriend.”

  “I didn’t think it was serious.”

  Bullshit. I clench my teeth so tight my jaw clicks.

  “But despite that,” she says, her voice softer now, “I still believe you deserve better than a woman who will always end up back in Rich Nasser’s bed.”

  Teagan

  I knock on Rich’s door at 10:59. I can’t risk being late. Can’t risk him punishing me by sending those pictures to Carter—pictures of me in Heath’s bed. With Rich. Pictures of a night that has haunted me since it happened.

  Rich pulls the door open. He’s shirtless, his jeans slung low on his hips. I can’t deny he has a beautiful body. He’s strong and built from long hours at the gym and a strict bodybuilder’s diet. I’m in the same black dress I wore to dinner, and he looks me over slowly—so slowly that I want to take a hot shower and scrub away every inch of skin his eyes touch. “You’ve done such a good job avoiding me the last few years, I didn’t think you’d show.” He pulls the door wider. “Come on in.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  He arches a brow. “I thought we already established that the ball’s in my court now. I’m done chasing you, Teagan.”

  If only that were really true. “Fine, but keep the door open.”

  His nostrils flare, and his eyes flash with anger. “Have I ever—ever­—forced myself on you?”

  I lift my chin. “Door. Open.”

  “Sure. If you want everyone who passes by to hear what I know, it’s your call.”

  Everyone who passes by. There’s no one in the halls right now. Everyone’s out celebrating and probably will be for a couple more hours. Even my parents are staying out late to take advantage of the time with all their best friends in one place, and he knows it. That’s why he suggested this time to meet.

  Ignoring the warning bells blaring in my head, I step into the room. “What do you want?”

  “You.” He shrugs. As if it’s so simple. As if he’s asking for a glass of water. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “Too bad. I’m with Carter.”

  He chuckles, shoving his hands into his pockets and nudging those jeans lower. “But you’re not. Not really.”

  My stomach plummets. “What are you talking about?”

  He turns into the room, and his message is clear. He has the power, and I’m going to have to follow him inside if I want to know more.

  I take a deep breath and walk down the short hall and into the room, leaving the door wide open behind me. I can do this.

  He sits on the edge of the bed, propping himself on his arms behind him. “Was this really all for me? Did I commit some terrible offense that made you so desperate to be rid of me that you’d create a fake relationship?”

  My muscles lock up. He can’t know. “There’s nothing fake about me and Carter.”

  “I’ve been doing a little detective work.” He laughs. “Not that it was hard. A town this size, and everyone is dying to talk. And the guys at Carter’s station? Well, let’s just say they shouldn’t be trusted with any state secrets.” His grin is slow and vicious. “One of two things is happening here, Teagan. Either Carter is playing you, or you two are only pretending to be together.”

  I will the emotion to stay off my face, but I don’t know if it works. It’s hard not to give away the surge of my stomach to my throat. I screwed this up. Rich knows our lie, and now I can’t even think straight. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I’ll be honest—I was fishing a little earlier. I knew about Myla and the redheaded nurse, but neither would talk to me to confirm anything. But then when Sabrina came to my room crying, I knew, I knew you and Carter weren’t for real. I mean, it seems he has a thing for redheads.”

  What? “What about Sabrina?” I think I might throw up on my shoes.

  “Sabrina came to town to do a story a month ago.”

  “I know she did.” I swallow back bile. It’s all coming together, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Sabrina’s confusion about how long Carter and I have been dating, her nosing around about the status of our relationship. He slept with her.

  And because Carter and I were supposedly dating then, she thinks he cheated on me. It’s not fair that I feel hurt. We weren’t together. We weren’t even pretending to be.

  “This is excellent. She didn’t think you knew, and it looks like she was right.” Rich lazily scratches his bare stomach. “And even though your boyfriend’s fake as fuck, you hate the idea that she slept with Carter. You and your cousin are something. Still fighting over men after all these years.”

  Rich is a liar and manipulator. Don’t fall for it. “This is ridiculous. You know nothing about me and Carter. You can’t stand the idea that we’re together—can’t stand that there’s no way you can worm yourself back into my bed—so you’re throwing out conspiracy theories.”

  He stands and steps toward me. “So you’re okay with the fact that your boyfriend has fucked at least three other women in the last month.”

  “We started as friends. He stopped seeing them when we got serious.”

  He cocks a brow and takes a step closer. “But he never told you about Sabrina?”

  I shrug. “It doesn’t matter.” This is my fault. I knew Carter wanted to talk to me earlier, and I ignored all the signals because I was too afraid of missing this meeting and Rich punishing me by sharing those pictures. “Will you please delete those pictures? That’s all I want from you.”

  “How badly do you want that?” With a flick of his wrist, he releases the button on his jeans. “What would you do for it?”

  My nostrils flare, my fists clenching at my sides. “Cut off your dick? Sure, Rich. Let me grab a knife from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

  He chuckles softly, completely unfazed by my threat. “God, I’ve missed that mouth of yours. And I know you’ve missed mine too. I remember how much you liked it.”

  “Fuck. You. If I wanted you, I knew where to find you. Anyone else would’ve caught on by now.”

  “You did want me.” His jaw ticks. “You wanted me so badly you let me take you in his bed. You wanted me when you were still wearing your funeral dress.”
<
br />   My eyes burn, but I’ll be damned if I let him see me cry. “Don’t throw that in my face.”

  “I wouldn’t. Not when I’m the only one who understands your guilt, and the only one who really knows you don’t deserve to feel that way. You and I both know you’d have done anything to make him happy. You proved it, and it’s not your fault he didn’t know himself better.” He lifts a hand and drops it before he touches my face. “But it’s been years, and I’m tired of seeing you—”

  “Hey, Rich, have you seen . . .” Carter steps into the room, and I spring away from Rich. As if I’ve done something wrong. As if I have something to be ashamed of. “Teagan,” he says softly, meeting my gaze for only a beat before his eyes dart around the room, taking in the scene. The two wine glasses on the desk I didn’t notice before. Rich’s bare chest and unbuttoned jeans. Carter’s Adam’s apple bobs. “Sorry. The door was wide open.”

  “Told you we should close it,” Rich says, smirking at me. “I’m sorry, Carter. Teagan and I were talking. Memories, you know. There are some things only our oldest friends understand.”

  “Right.” Carter takes a step back. “I’m going to the room, Teagan. See you later.” He doesn’t even spare me a final look over his shoulder as he strides away, pulling the door shut with a harsh clunk behind him.

  “Fuck,” I say, rushing after him.

  “Teagan—”

  I spin on Rich. “Don’t. I’m sorry about everything that happened. I’m sorry I ever made you believe we were meant for each other. I’m sorry I let Heath push me into something I didn’t want. But mostly, I’m sorry you don’t understand how fucking controlling and manipulative you are. We’re never getting back together, and if you don’t move the fuck on, I’ll file a restraining order. I don’t care if that means you plaster the internet with those pictures and tell everyone what a whore I am. I’m done with you. Done.”

  I race out the door and run to the opposite end of the hall and up the stairs to our suite, unlocking the door and shutting it softly behind me. It’s too quiet in here, and the silence rings in my ears.

  Carter is sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands.

  “When you walked in . . . it wasn’t what it looked like.” My voice is shaking, and when he lifts his head and levels that weary gaze on me, everything else seems insignificant. I don’t care about Rich or my parents or the pictures. I want to make him stop looking at me like that.

  “That’s good,” Carter says, his voice rough, “because it looked pretty damn bad.”

  “I don’t want him.”

  “Because you don’t want anyone, right? Sure, you date and pretend you’re looking for that special someone, but you’ll never let any of them get too close. You never wanted me to get too close. If I did, I might have seen that you were a little broken inside, like the rest of us.”

  I gape at him, anger slashing through me. “You’re going to accuse me of hiding my feelings? What about you, Carter? What about the way you’ve been sleeping around to avoid your pain and guilt? You can’t pretend that’s not a coping mechanism. Not with me. I lived that shit.”

  Exhaustion lines his face as he shakes his head. “I showed you my ugly insides. But I don’t do lies, Teagan. Not with the people who matter to me. Not with you. If you don’t want your parents to know what happened between you and Rich all those years ago, then fine. Don’t tell them. But don’t hide behind me one second and arrange to meet him in private the next.”

  I can’t catch my breath. I keep trying, but I can’t seem to force air into my lungs. “What do you mean, what happened between me and Rich? I told you.”

  “Did you? Everything?” He huffs and drags a hand through his hair. “I talked to Sabrina tonight. She said you weren’t faithful to Heath.”

  Of course Sabrina said something. After all these years, I knew she’d be the one. “She doesn’t know anything.”

  “Really?” He grunts out a laugh, but his face twists into a nasty sneer. At me. He’s sneering at me. I want to hate him for that sneer. To walk away. But part of me will always believe I deserve to be seen the way he sees me right now. “Did you cheat on Heath with Rich?”

  Even when I know they’re coming, the words are a blow to my gut. “No,” I say between clenched teeth. “I never cheated on Heath.”

  “So you’ve told me everything? Shown me all your ugly insides?” He stares at me, and when I don’t answer, he nods. “Exactly. You have no plans on opening up about what’s really between you and Rich. But why would you? This is just pretend. You and me? This is over the second your family leaves town.”

  “I never said that.”

  “I offered you more. I told you what I want. You didn’t say no, but where I come from, when a woman doesn’t say yes, you take it as a fucking no.”

  My chest shudders as I pull in a breath. This hurts. “And what about you? You got all this from Sabrina? Did you fuck her tonight too?”

  Those dark chocolate eyes go cold. “You know I wouldn’t.”

  “I know you did. Last month when she was here, you fucked her. You want to know why I keep pulling away?” I ask, folding my arms. “That’s why. Because no matter how attracted I am to you, no matter how good we are in bed together . . . I’m not interested in being one of your days of the week.”

  “Jesus, Teagan. You know I want more than that.”

  I know he does—I do. I knew the objection was bullshit the second it came out of my mouth. “I can’t.” God, this hurts, and I know I’m making it worse, but I’m so scared. I feel my heart breaking again—breaking like it did when Heath accused me of wanting Rich more than him, accused me of doing what he asked and liking it too much, breaking like it did when the chief of police came to the door hours after our worst fight and told me Heath was dead. I can’t love someone like that again. “I’m sorry, Carter, but I can’t.” He stands and steps toward me, but I’m already backing out of the room. “I’m going to stay with Saanvi tonight. I understand if you want to leave.”

  “I’ll go to the wedding. I’ll pretend we’re whatever you want me to pretend to be.”

  I swallow hard. The tears are coming, and once they start, I’ll be a mess. “You don’t have to.”

  “I’ll be there,” he says. “I made you a promise.”

  You made me fall in love with you.

  I step into the hall and pull the door shut behind me.

  Carter

  Teagan didn’t come back last night. Three different times, I headed toward Saanvi’s suite and made myself turn around. We were both angry. Hurt.

  I still don’t know what to believe about her and Rich, but it looked bad. She was in his room, inches from him, and he was half-naked with his pants unbuttoned. If I’d found them like that in our room, I’d have assumed Rich had pushed his way in, would’ve tackled him to protect her. But that wasn’t the case. She went to him. They planned that meeting and waited until everyone else was gone to have it.

  There’s more I need to know, but she’ll never share it with me. I need to be okay with that. I need to be okay with letting her go. Even if it kills me.

  I go down to breakfast, hoping I’ll spot her there. I don’t. I spend the whole meal checking my phone for a text from her every other minute, starting texts to her just as often and not letting myself send them.

  After breakfast, I go back to the room and pack my things. Part of letting her go means giving her space. So after I’ve fulfilled my promise to her at the wedding and reception, I’ll head home.

  I take a long shower and shave. I’m still in a towel when my phone buzzes, and I snag it to see a text from Isaiah.

  Isaiah: I can’t move in with you.

  I take a breath and frown at my phone. He can’t, or he doesn’t want to?

  Me: Whatever you want. The offer stands if you change your mind.

  Isaiah: I want to, but I can’t.

  Me: Why not?

  Isaiah: Because it’s my fault.

  Me:
You made a mistake, but you won’t do it again.

  Isaiah: Not the accident. Dad. It’s my fault he’s dead.

  I brace myself on the bathroom vanity and stare at Isaiah’s text. One emotion after another slams into me, too fast to identify. This poor kid. I don’t know why he could possibly think that, but I understand the feeling all too well.

  It’s still early. I could go to Marta’s and still be at the church in time for the wedding.

  Me: I’m coming over. I’ll be there in thirty.

  Someone knocks on the door, and relief floods me. Teagan. It’s like she knew I needed her right now.

  “Did you forget your key?” I call, tightening the towel around my waist.

  If she answers, I don’t hear it over the sound of the maid vacuuming in the hall. I unlock the door. I’m so relieved to have her close that I’m actually smiling—even if this is a mess, even if I don’t know how we’re going to fix this, I just want to see her. I want to tell her what Isaiah said, want to explain that no matter what happens between us, she’ll always be precious to me.

  When I yank the door open, my smile falls away. It’s Sabrina when I expected Teagan. Theme of the fucking weekend.

  “Sabrina. What do you need?” Dread curdles in my stomach as I scan the hall for Teagan. She didn’t come. She won’t. After our fight, she probably doesn’t want to see my face.

  Maybe I should have gone home last night.

  Sabrina steps into the room and looks me over with a small, sad smile. “I was hoping we could talk again.”

  Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “I can’t right now. I need to run out for a bit.”

  “Please.” The word rips out of her like a sob. “Please, Carter?”