Star of Hope

by Moira McPartlin

  He shook his head.

  ‘I was locked in the store. It would have been good if you’d been around to rescue me.’ He blew on the kindling. ‘Imagine being locked in with Huxton’s limb.’ A vein throbbed in his neck.

  ‘Well you obviously got out so, no more.’ He spat into the fire and she heard its pathetic hiss.

  ‘But the shoes.’

  ‘What shoes?’

  ‘The snow shoes, the camp was terrorised by a Big Foot, stealing their food.’

  He shook his head. ‘Not me. You know what it’s like with these vans. They’re for Noiri use. It must have been another Noiri Op who used it before me. It was in a pretty shocking mess when I got here but still some tins were left.’ He disappeared into the van and returned with a tin and saucepan as if to prove the point.

  ‘How did you know it was here?’

  He glanced at her then attended to putting the pan of beans on the fire. ‘Someone told me.’

  ‘Someone in the Noiri? Dawdle?’ She had suspected when she saw them together at the souterrain that these two men knew each other.

  ‘There are more folk in the Noiri than your man Dawdle.’

  ‘He’s not my man.’

  He grinned now. ‘As you say, Ishbel.’

  ‘How did you know I would come this way?

  ‘The forest is pretty thick north of here, so I reckoned you would pick up the logging road. I left prints for you to follow. A good Celt like you can sense these things. I knew you would be after shelter and would find me.’

  ‘I might have followed the logging road all the way south.’

  ‘Why would you do that? You know the timetable. I knew you’d head east.’ He tapped his communicator. ‘Time’s running out.’

  They moved into the van to eat. The interior was basic with standard tattered sleeping bags that were surprisingly warm. The beans were good and made her feel sleepy.

  ‘Go ahead and sleep,’ Merj said.

  ‘Are we safe here?’

  ‘For now, but we need to move soon.’ As she drifted off to sleep she felt a blanket laid over her. When her party was betrayed she first suspected Merj as traitor, now she wasn’t sure, but she’d watch him just the same. For now she would sleep.

  A gale blew out of nowhere, hurtling round the van like a banshee, punching it with gusts so it rocked violently. As Ishbel slept she dreamt she was in the bowels of a ship carrying her to Freedom. Something battered on the cab roof jerking her awake.

  A flash lit the cab and she saw Merj hunkered in the corner, watching her. Thunder boomed and another flash illuminated the van.

  ‘We should maybe move from under all these trees,’ she said.

  ‘No, we’re safer here. The van still has rubber tyres. They’ll keep us insulated. We’re safer here.’ Although she could detect hesitation in his voice.

  Torrential rain dumped on the roof and drowned out the noise of the thunder. It was sure to wash the snow and their tracks. That’s good, she thought.

  Merj threw a pair of snow shoes across the van to her.

  ‘You can fit these now, ready for when the storm ends,’ he said.

  They really were an ingenious thing. Lots of plastic bottles, caps still on, were welded together with one strap that crossed and overlapped the foot. Except Ishbel couldn’t get it to wrap around and stay on her foot.

  ‘I’ll do without,’ she said throwing them back at Merj.

  ‘Don’t be dumb.’ He picked them up, bent down and took her foot. Ishbel’s instincts kicked out, her foot contacted his face and bowled him back. He put a hand up to his mouth and checked for blood, there was none. He smoothed his hair and glared at her.

  ‘That’s not smart and you know it.’ He was right so she let him take her foot. But still had to repress the feeling of kicking him again.

  As he began to strap the bottles to her feet he avoided her eyes.

  ‘If you don’t use them you’ll slow us down and what’s the point of doing without just to prove a point?’

  Right again, but she held her tongue. So much had passed between them. She knew she was responsible for his injuries after her butterfly bomb exploded near him. At the time she’d thought Sorlie was losing the bout. Once she and Merj had been lovers but she’d never trusted him. She couldn’t let him kill Sorlie. His head was bent over her foot, the hair silky and white, so Privileged and she knew she still didn’t trust him.

  ‘Your mother did a good job of patching you up.’

  He sat back on his heels, a puzzle on his perfect brow.

  ‘How do you know my mother?’

  ‘I met her, remember, when we brought Scud to her.’

  ‘You brought Scud to the healer Llao.’

  ‘Yes, and she told me she was your mother.’

  ‘She should not have told you.’

  ‘Why? She thought you had been injured by the Military, friendly fire. I didn’t set her straight.’

  ‘You want thanks for that?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Anyway, I told you, she has her limits. Other healers did this work. I think you’re fishing.’

  They were silent for a few minutes.

  ‘OK, I’m fishing. Are you Military, is that it? You’re a double agent?’

  ‘Don’t be dumb.’

  She tried to kick again but he held her foot too tightly.

  ‘Stop calling me dumb, you know I’m not.’ He didn’t bite and went back to his binding task. ‘Are you Military?’

  ‘Is that what you think?’ he said, tying off the straps and placing her foot on the floor.

  ‘What are we to think? You appear in Vanora’s Freedom and charm her into giving you First Lieutenant.’

  ‘You really need to let that go, Ishbel.’

  Yes, Ishbel knew this but sometimes she couldn’t help herself.

  ‘My mother has a blind spot when it comes to you.’

  Merj gave her a twisted smile and that smile made her angry.

  ‘You tried to kidnap Sorlie. Moorloggers were betrayed and now my men have been taken. The Military always seem to be one step ahead and you always appear on the scene at just the right moment. So, come on Merj, spill. Who are you, really, and where have you come from? Because I’m not going any further with you until I know.’ He looked at her with narrowed eyes and that maddening smirk of his. At that moment she wanted to wipe it off his face for good.

  ‘I have men to rescue and a mission to complete. And I can do it without your help.’ She looked at her communicator. ‘And as you say, time is running short on both counts.’

  Merj eased himself from the floor but she noticed he used his good arm, keeping the repaired one limp. Maybe they hadn’t done such a great job of patching him up as she’d first thought. And yet he had been able to tie her strap with both hands as if he had dexterity in his fingers but no strength in his arm. It was a mystery.

  He sat on the metal box opposite her and rested both arms on his knees.

  ‘Very well, Ishbel, I will tell you. My mother, Llao, you saw, is Privileged. My father was the great politician, Cato Flint.’

  ‘Never heard of him.’

  ‘He’s been wiped from history. Ask Scud about him. He fought for democracy. The Purists were just coming into power. They won an election. A democratic election, but the people didn’t know what they were voting for.’ He shrugged. ‘The people, mostly natives, voted them in to power.’

  ‘How can that be? Natives are not permitted to vote.’

  ‘Not now, but they could then.’

  ‘How do you know this?’

  ‘My mother told me. Stories get handed down. Did Vanora not tell you? Maybe she was too embarrassed.’ There was a sneer in his voice. Despite his reasonable story, Ishbel could still see the old Merj under the veneer.

  ‘Nat
ives were responsible for their own demise,’ he said.

  Ishbel shook her head.

  ‘Shake your head all you like, Ishbel, it’s true. My father worked hard but he was middle ground between the hard right Purists and the tree-hugging Land Reclaimists. There was no room for middle ground in those days.’ No expression passed over Merj’s face. It was as if he was now reciting taught history. ‘After the election my father was taken.’

  ‘Taken where?’

  He shrugged – a native shrug – so incongruous in this Privileged, as she could now see within him.

  ‘Somewhere. Maybe Bieberville, most likely he’s dead.’

  ‘So is that why you’re here? To make your mother proud, to find your father?’

  ‘No. It was a long time ago. I can’t even remember him. My mother brought me up Privileged. She believed that if I got into the Military I could infiltrate high echelons and find out what happened to him.’

  ‘That’s why she believed you were injured in the Military?’

  ‘That’s what I told her.’

  ‘So why join Vanora?’

  He gave a cold laugh. ‘Why not? I knew I wasn’t going to find my father. Why should I follow the path my mother laid out for me? I’d been under her will all my life. What I want is simple. I want what’s best for Merj. No one has done me any favors. I wanted glamour, celebrity, power. Excitement, Ishbel. And that is what Vanora offered in her revolutionary army.’

  ‘So you swapped one mother for another?’

  He stood so abruptly Ishbel shrank back. ‘That’s not true. I’m a loyal soldier. The Prince recognised that. That’s why he recruited me from right under Vanora’s nose.’

  ‘Oh, that’s right. You’re now The Prince’s right hand man.’

  ‘Yes, Ishbel, and you would do well to remember that.’

  ‘Oh I do.’ She stood to join him. ‘So you lied to your mother, you lied to Vanora. Tell me this, Merj. Why should I believe one word you tell me?’

  ‘The reason you should believe me is because you and I are out here. I came to help you get your mission done. I don’t think you have many choices. Do you?’

  ‘What about my men?’

  ‘We leave them – for now. The Prince is sending another group to get them out. We have wasted too much time.’

  ‘Wasted?’

  ‘You know what I mean. We need to get to Bieberville. And you know that, which is why we leave the minute the storm is over.’

  Sorlie

  So we took the child because despite Dawdle’s protests, there was enough room in the canoe. Although the girl was strong she wasn’t that big. We left her tied until we were well away from the Sun Court and sure she wouldn’t try to escape.

  ‘It’s not like we’re going to make her a slave,’ I said. ‘Although I’ve read enough real History at Black Rock to understand what that must feel like.’

  ‘Sorlie, you ur priceless,’ Reinya said.

  ‘What did I say?’

  ‘What do you think natives ur? Thur just slaves.’

  Dawdle opened his mouth once during the first part of our journey and that was only to tell us it would take at least another couple of days before our next food pick-up point. I never realised that Esperaneo Major was so huge and I had no idea what was eating at Dawdle.

  The girl sat with her back to me in the boat so I had time to study her. Her hair was coarse, almost like straw and it stuck out from above her neck. Her back was broad, broader than mine. I racked my brains trying to remember what I knew of Neanderthals.

  I noticed as we travelled south in the canoe the days of rain became less and less and the sun got hotter; a weather pattern emerged. In the afternoons, out of nowhere clouds would gather from the south, build into a mass. It was as if they knew we were coming and formed a gang to ambush us because the cloud mass rushed in and dumped litres of water on us, forcing the river to rise and rush, hurtling the canoe over torrents and white water. It was exhilarating and frightening at the same time, but there was always a chance one of us would fall out. Luckily no one did.

  In the kit Dawdle had hidden from the Sun Court was a cream he urged us to smear over our faces and hands. And even though we were sweltering and soaking with sweat he warned us to keep arms and legs covered because he only had a scrape of cream left. Sometimes the sun was so roasting I was tempted to strip to my underwear and jump into the cool water. It was an incredible sensation to have lived my whole life under grey, dark and wet skies, to be suddenly transported into this burning furnace.

  The river widened and the ground around was flat and open. We were sitting targets if anyone cared to look. But the water, dotted with small islands, stretched for kiloms into the distance with no sign of settlement, or Urban or Military.

  ‘Is all Esp Major like this?’ No one bothered to answer me.

  Reinya held out a grainer bar for the girl to eat and as she reached her hand out to take it I noticed a chip scar. My blood ran with ice.

  ‘She’s chipped,’ I said. Our chips had been altered to suit our new identities but the girl was an unknown. ‘Great, that’s it then, we are well and truly cooked.’

  No one seemed bothered, too strung out with the heat and exertion, but when the river narrowed again then disappeared altogether, Dawdle ordered us out the canoe.

  ‘We’ll carry the boat fur a bit then rest.’

  It was much easier with the girl to help.

  ‘There’s nae van nearby so Reinya and the lassie can get in the boat tae rest and we’ll use the tarp.’ He walked off. There was no quip, no joke, just instructions.

  I watched him gather vegetation and guessed it was for a fire. I followed, wanting to help. A short distance from the camp he picked something up. He examined it and threw it away, walked on. His back was hunched, he seemed to have shrunk.

  ‘What’s wrong, Dawdle?’ He swung round at my words and rubbed his eyes and turned away. I grabbed him to get him to face me but he shook me off.

  ‘What the snaf, Dawdle? You’re crying.’

  ‘Leave it.’

  A memory came back to me of the time Dawdle, Ishbel and I arrived on Black Rock in a storm. We were drenched and were permitted showers. Dawdle had stripped off first and jumped in. Both Ishbel and I saw the whip marks on his back. Ishbel had made a comment that you didn’t need to do much to be punished in the days of the Purist regime. But we never enquired as to his crime and no one knew his story. Now before me stood the big man from the Noiri, crumbling. I saw Reinya leave the girl and move towards us.

  ‘Leave it, Reinya,’ I said. She backed off but her brows pringled with worry.

  ‘Tell me, Dawdle, I won’t repeat it.’

  ‘It’s nuthin.’

  ‘Come on, you’ve been off since we came to the kids’ camp. Has it something to do with the marks on your back?’ He let out a big sigh that was more like a sob. ‘Get it out, man. You’ll feel better.’

  ‘Since when did ye become sae carin, Sorlie?’

  He sat on the damp ground, his head sank low on his chest.

  ‘Ah thought they’d gone.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Aw ma memories o the time afore Jacques found me. Ah wis twelve when he took me in. Same age as that lassie back there.’

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘Ah cannae.’

  ‘I promise. I’ll tell no one, not even Ishbel. I saw your scars at Black Rock, you don’t get stuff like that for nothing.’

  ‘It wis just that camp…’ He swallowed and shook his head. ‘It brought it aw back. As soon as they kids appeared, whoosh, jist like that. Memories eatin away. Their childhood, ma childhood.’ He looked right at me. ‘Tell me, Sorlie, is there such a thing as childhood in this life? Ah niver hud ony.’ He pointed at Reinya. ‘She certainly niver, nor that Neatherthal. Did ye see thir toys? And you w
i yer great Games Wall and yer wrestling. Thinkin yer a great warrior.’

  ‘I never…’

  ‘Naw, aw right. Even you niver really hud a childhood.’ His faced hazed in memory. ‘There wis a gang o us kids runnin feral in the camp. The leader o the gang wis a brute cried Chub. Chub ran the show. Nae brains but plenty o punch, that was Chub. Ah wis ordered tae be his right hand man, but ah’d nae stomach fur the type o work Chub asked o me. Brute force mattered mair than brains.’

  ‘What about your Ma and Pa?’

  ‘We lived in a camp, Sorlie,’ he spat on the ground. ‘Sold me, they did. Tae the gangmaster.’

  ‘No way. That’s monstrous.’

  ‘Aye well, folk dae monstrous things when they’re starvin.’ His tears were dry. He lifted his chin and pursed his lips together, staring into the distance, and I wondered if that was the end of the story. It wasn’t.

  ‘The camp wis run by the Noiri boss at that time, an evil bastard cried Dec. Chub worked fur Dec, therefore by default, so did ah. We wur his wee gang o thieves. Dec thought nothin o strikin a deal wi the natives, takin then runnin without givin in return. That’s just bad business. Dec had vans runnin right, left and centre but the organisation wis a shambles. Often two Ops would turn up at the same drop. Fists flew tae decide who hud first dibs at the contra. There wis clashes wi the Military. A clampdown on the fuel Dec stole. Roadblocks, every van seized. It got tae the stage where nae goods wir movin and yet Dec still lived like a king while his men starved.’ He stopped and turned to me. ‘Things got desperate. Dec wanted tae try a diversification. That last thing they asked o me wis a step too far.’

  ‘What?’

  He shook his head violently. ‘No. Ah’ll niver tell. Let’s just say, wee kids were being murdered and ah wisnae huvin ony part in it. At first ah thought they’d kill me. Ah didnae care. But instead they tied me tae a van axle and whipped me raw. When ah stopped screamin, they dragged me out o the camp and left me in a swamp tae die.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘One o Dec’s Ops wis just as scunnered as me by the new diversification and wis movin tae Jacques’ camp. Ah didnae ken at the time but Monsieur Jacques wis awready settin up in the area. He’d come fae the Capital. Ah niver did discover for sure why he moved tae Lesser Esperaneo but rumour hud it he did some work fur the State when the Purists were in power. Then when the Land Reclaimists took ower they objected tae Jacques’ illegal doins. He made nae secret o his desire to seize the tower in Lesser Esp. This guy, Dec’s Op, wis sick o the brutality. Ah dinnae remember exactly how it happened, one minute ah wis in a swamp, the next, ah woke in Jacques’ tower. A healer cared fur me night and day. Ah slept in a real bed wi sheets fur the first time. Ah wis clean, ma hair wis cut. Jacques turned me fae an animal tae a man.’