Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker
Page 82
You shall not rise.
TORMIELLA
Umh!
LADY DILDOMAN
I was once as you are;
Young, and perhaps as fair; it was my fate
Whilst summer lasted and that beauty rear’d
Her colours in my cheeks, to serve at court.
The king of Spain that then was, eye’d me oft,
Lik’d me, and lov’d me, woo’d me, at last won me.
TORMIELLA
’Twas well you were no city.
LADY DILDOMAN
Why?
TORMIELLA
It seems
You yielded ere you needed.
LADY DILDOMAN
Nay, you must think
He ply’d me with fierce batteries and assaults.
You are coy now, but, alas, how could you fight
With a king’s frowns! Your womanish appetite
Were’t ne’er so dead and cold would soon take fire
At honours; all women should be lifted higher.
Would you not stoop to take it, and thrust your hand
Deep as a king’s in treasure, to have lords
Fear you, t’have life or death fly from your words?
The first night that I lay in’s princely arms
I seem’d transform’d; methought Jove’s own right hand
Has snatch’d me up and in his starry sphere
Plac’d me, with other of his lemmans there.
Yet was he but the shadow, I the sun.
In a proud zodiac I my course did run.
Mine eye beams was the dial’s stile, and had power
To rule his thoughts, as that commands the hour.
Oh, you shall find upon a prince’s pillow
Such golden dreams.
TORMIELLA
I find ’em.
LADY DILDOMAN
Cry you mercy.
TORMIELLA
My husband comes not; I dare not stay.
LADY DILDOMAN
You must.
KING
You shall.
LADY DILDOMAN
Before you lies your way,
Beaten out by me. If you can follow, do.
TORMIELLA
What means this? Are their bawds ladies too?
KING
Why shake you? Fear not. None hear dreads your life.
TORMIELLA
Shall not a lamb tremble at the butcher’s knife?
Let go your hold; keep off! What violent hands
Soever force me, ne’er shall touch woman more.
I’ll kill ten monarchs ere I’ll be one’s whore.
KING
Hear me.
TORMIELLA
Avoid, thou devil!
LADY DILDOMAN
Thou puritan fool!
TORMIELLA
Oh, thou base otter hound! Help, help!
KING
In vain.
TORMIELLA
The best in Spain shall know this.
LADY DILDOMAN
The best now knows it.
TORMIELLA
Good pitch, let me not touch thee. Spain has a king.
If from his royal throne justice be driven,
I shall find right at the king’s hands of heaven.
LADY DILDOMAN
This is the king.
TORMIELLA
The king! Alas, poor slave!
A raven struck with swan’s feathers; scarecrow dress’d brave!
KING
Do you not know me?
TORMIELLA
Yes, for a whoremonger.
LADY DILDOMAN
No matter for her scolding. A woman’s tongue
Is like the miraculous bell in Aragon
Which rings out without the help of man.
KING
Hear me; thou striv’st with thunder, yet this hand
That can shake kingdoms down, thrusts into thine
The sceptres. If, proud fool, thou letst them fall,
Thou beatst thyself in pieces on a rock
That shall for ever ruin thee and thine.
Thy husband, and all opposites that dare
With us to cope, it shall not serve your turn
With your dim eyes to judge our beams; the light
Of common fires. We can before thy sight
Shine in full splendour, though it suits us now
To suffer this base cloud to mask our brow.
Be wise, and when thou mayse, for lifting up
Thine arm, pluck stars, refuse them not. I swear
By heaven I will not force thee ‘gainst thy blood.
When I send, come; if not, withstand thy good.
Go, get you home now. This is all. Farewell.
TORMIELLA
Oh me! What way to heaven can be through hell? [Exit.
KING
Why dive you so?
LADY DILDOMAN
I hope your majesty
Dare swear I ha’ play’d the pilot cunningly,
Fetching the wind about to make this pinnace
Strike sail as you desir’d.
KING
Th’art a damn’d bawd;
A soaking sodden, splay-foot, ill-look’d jade.
Not all the wits of kingdoms can enact
To save what by such gulfs as thou art wrack’d.
Thou whory wickedness, devil’s dam, dost thou think
Thy poisonous rotten breath shall blast our fame,
Or those furr’d gums of thine gnaw a king’s name?
If thou wouldst down before thy time, to thy crew;
Prate of this — yes, do; for gold any slave
May gorge himself on sweets. King’s cannot have.
By help of such a hag as thou, I would not
Dishonour her for an empire. From my sight!
LADY DILDOMAN
Well, sir.
KING
Give o’er your trade.
LADY DILDOMAN
I’ll change my copy.
KING
See you do.
LADY DILDOMAN
I will turn over a new leaf.
KING
We search for serpents, but being found, destroy them.
Men drink not poisons, thou they oft emply them. [Exit.
LADY DILDOMAN
Give o’er! How live then? No, I’ll keep that still.
If courtiers will not, I’m sure citizens will. [Exit.
Act Two, Scene Three
ENTER TORMIELLA AND GAZETTO, disguised.
GAZETTO
Speak with you.
TORMIELLA
Ha! Good fellow, keep thy way.
GAZETTO
Y’are a whore.
TORMIELLA
Th’art a base knave; not the streets free! [Exit.
GAZETTO
Though dead, from vengeance earth thee shall not save.
Hyena-like, I’ll eat into thy grave. [Exit.
Act Two, Scene Four
ENTER CORDOLENTE AND MALEVENTO.
CORDOLENTE
I dare now bestow on you a free
And hearty welcome to my poor house.
MALEVENTO
Thanks, son.
Good air, very good air; and son, I think
You stand well too for trading.
CORDOLENTE
Very well, sir.
MALEVENTO
I am glad on’t.
Enter LAZARILLO.
CORDOLENTE
Sirrah, where’s your mistress?
MALEVENTO
Ay, ay, good youth, call her.
She plays the tortoise now; you shall ‘twixt her and me
See a rare combat. Tell her here’s here father;
No, an old swaggering fencer dares her at the weapon
Which women put down men at, scolding. Boy,
I will go chide her, son.
CORDOLENTE
Pray do, sir, go call her.
LAZARILLO
&
nbsp; She’s forth, sir, with my fellow; a lady took her along.
MALEVENTO
Taken up already. It’s well. Yet I commend her;
She flies with birds that are of better wing
Than those she spreads herself.
CORDOLENTE
Right, sir.
MALEVENTO
Nay, she’s wise.
A subtle ape, but loving as the moon
Is to the sea.
CORDOLENTE
I hope she’ll prove more constant.
MALEVENTO
Then is the needle to the adamant,
The god of gold power down on both your heads
His comfortable showers.
CORDOLENTE
Thanks to your wishes.
MALEVENTO
May never gall be fill’d into your cup,
Nor wormwood strew your pillow; so live, so love,
That none may say a raven does kiss a dove.
I am sorry that I curst you, but the string
Sounds as ’tis play’d on, as ’tis set we sing.
Enter BILBO.
CORDOLENTE
Where’s thy mistress?
MALEVENTO
Oh, pray son, use Bilbo Caveare well.
Where’s thy mistress?
BILBO
She’s departed, sir.
CORDOLENTE
Departed! Whither, prithee?
BILBO
It may be to a lord, for a lady had her away. I came back to fetch a glove which dropp’d from the lady, but before I could overtake them, they were all dropp’d from me. My mistress is to me, sir, the needle in the bottle you wot where.
MALEVENTO
Of hay, thou mean’st. She’ll not be lost, I warrant.
Enter TORMIELLA, and passes over the stage.
CORDOLENTE
Here she comes now, sir. Tormiella! Call her.
BILBO
What shall I call her? [Exit.
MALEVENTO
Nothing, by no means;
No, let he flutter; now she’s fast i’th’net
On disobedience; a graceful shame is set.
CORDOLENTE
A strange dead palsy when a woman’s tongue
Has not the power to stir. Dumb! Call her, I say!
Enter BILBO.
BILBO
Strange news, sir!
CORDOLENTE
What is’t?
BILBO
Yonder’s a coach full of good faces.
CORDOLENTE
That so strange?
BILBO
Yes, to alight at our gate. They are coming up as boldly as if they were landlords and came for rent. See else.
Enter Gentlemen and Gentlewomen.
FIRST GENTLEWOMAN
The woman of the house, sir, pray?
CORDOLENTE
She’s in her chamber. Sirrah, show the way.
[Exeunt Gentlewomen with BILBO before; manent Gentleman and walk.
MALEVENTO
Do you know these?
CORDOLENTE
Troth, not I, sir. I’m amaz’d
At this their strange arrival.
MALEVENTO
By their straight faces,
Small shanks, and blister’d shoe-knobs, they should be courtiers.
CORDOLENTE
Our Spanish mercers say, they’re the bravest fellows.
MALEVENTO
For brave men, they’re no less i’th’tailors’ books,
Courtiers in citizen’s houses are summer fires,
May well be spar’d, and being clean out are best.
They do the house no good, but help consume
They burn the wood up, and o’er-heat the room,
Sweetening only th’air a little, that’s all.
Play the right citizen then; whilst you gain by them,
Hug ’em, if they pluck your feathers, come not nigh them.
CORDOLENTE
I’ll close with them.
MALEVENTO
Do.
CORDOLENTE
Welcome, gentlemen.
OMNES
Thanks.
CORDOLENTE
Prey, sir, what ladies may these be with my wife?
FIRST GENTLEMAN
Faith, sir, if they would cast themselves away upon knights, they may be knights’ ladies, but they are only gentlewomen of an exceeding sweet carriage and fashion, and ’tis so, sir, that your wive’s doing being bruited and spread abroad to be rare for her handling the Spanish needle, these beauties are come only to have your wife prick out a thing, which must be done out of hand; that’s the whole business, sir.
CORDOLENTE
In good time, sir.
MALEVENTO
Of court, I pray, sir, are you?
SECOND GENTLEMAN
Yes, sir. We follow the court now and then, as others follow us.
CORDOLENTE
He means those they owe money to.
MALEVENTO
Pray, sir, what news at court?
FIRST GENTLEMAN
Faith, sir, the old stale news; black jacks are fill’d and standing cups emptied.
MALEVENTO
I see then jacks are saucy in every corner; I have given it him under the list of the ear.
CORDOLENTE
’Twas soundly, you see he’s struck dead.
MALEVENTO
Dancing baboon!
Enter TORMIELLA, mask’d, and in other garments, the Gentlewomen with her, and Gentlemen leading her away.
TORMIELLA
Farewell.
OMNES
To coach; away!
FIRST GENTLEMAN
The Welch Embassador has a message to you, sir.
SECOND GENTLEMAN
He will be with you shortly, when the moon’s horns are i’th’full.
[Exeunt Gentlemen.
MALEVENTO
What’s that they talk?
CORDOLENTE
Nothing but this, they have given it me soundly. I feel it under the lists of both ears. Where’s my wife?
Enter BILBO.
BILBO
She’s fall’n sick, sir.
CORDOLENTE
The night-mare rides her.
MALEVENTO
Ha! Sick! How sick?
BILBO
Of the falling sickness. You and my master have us’d her to run away, that she has show’d you another light pair of heels. She’s gone, sir.
CORDOLENTE
Thou liest.
BILBO
It may be she lies by this time, but I stand to my words. I say again, she’s gone, sir. Cast your cap at her, but she’s gone; hurried into a coach drawn with four horses.
CORDOLENTE
These hear oaths, vows, protestations, damnations; a serpent kiss’d the first woman, and ever since the whole sex have given suck to adders.
MALEVENTO
Run into th’street, and if thou seest the privilege’d bawdy house she went into —
BILBO
That runs on four wheels, the coach, sir.
CORDOLENTE
Cry to the whole city to stop her.
BILBO
I will, sir. ’Tis every man’s cast i’th’city t have his wife stopp’d. [Exit.
MALEVENTO
Well, what wilt thou say if this be a plot
Of merriment betwixt thy wife and them,
For them to come thus and disguise her thus,
Thus whorry her away to some by-town
But four or five miles distance from the city;
Then must we hunt on horseback, find out game,
See and not know her in this strange disguise,
But the jest smelt out, shouts, and plaudities
Must ring about the table where she sits,
Then you kissing her, I must applaud your wits.
CORDOLENTE
Well, I will once be gull’d in this your comedy.
A while I’ll play the wital,
I will wink, sir,
One bird you see is flown out of the nest.
MALEVENTO
What bird?
CORDOLENTE
A wagtail. After, fly all the rest.
MALEVENTO
Come then. [Exeunt.
Act Three, Scene One
ENTER JOHN, A Doctor, and PACHECO.
JOHN
Pacheco.
PACHECO
My lord?
JOHN
It shall be so. To the king presently.
See my carouch be ready; furnish me
To go to court, sir.
PACHECO
Well, sir. [Exit.
DOCTOR
Why, my lord?
JOHN
What sayest thou?
DOCTOR
You will overthrow the state
Of that dear health which so much cost and time
Have been a building up; your pores lying open,
Colds, agues, and all enemies to pure bloods
Will enter and destroy life.
Enter PACHECO, with cloak and rapier.
JOHN
I will to court.
DOCTOR
Pray my lord stir not forth.
JOHN
[To PACHECO.] Lay down. Begone. [Exit PACHECO.
DOCTOR
The air will pierce you.
JOHN
I ha’ took cold already.
DOCTOR
When, sir?
JOHN
When you councell’d me to ride my horse.
DOCTOR
Nay, that as well. How slept you the next night?
JOHN
Not a wink.
DOCTOR
All the better.
JOHN
But i’th’next morning,
I could not in a Russian stove sweat more
Then I did in my bed.
DOCTOR
Marry, I’m glad on’t.
JOHN
And had no clothes upon me.
DOCTOR
Still the better.
JOHN
My bones, sir, paid for all this, and yet you cry, “still the better.” When you ha’ purg’d your pockets full of gold out of a patient, and then nail’d him in’s coffin, you cry then “still the better,” too. A man were better to lie under the hands of a hangman, than one of your rebarbative faces. Sirrah doctor, I do not think but I ahve been well, all this time I have been sick?
DOCTOR
Oh, my good lord.
JOHN
Oh, good master doctor, come, no more of this. I have another diaphragm for you to tickle; you minister poison in some medicines, do you not?
DOCTOR
Yes, my good lord. In purgative and expulsive.
JOHN
So, so, break not my head with your hard words; you can for a need poison a great man?
DOCTOR
Your lordship’s merry.
JOHN
Right, sir, but I must have it done in sadness. ’Tis your trade, master doctor, to send men packing. Hark you, ’tis no less bugbear then Don Valasco.