LAZARILLO
Commendable Blurt!
BLURT
The end of my commendations is to commit you.
LAZARILLO
I am kin to Don Dego, the Spanish adolantado.
BLURT
If you be kin to Don Dego that was smelt out in Paul’s, you pack; your lantedoes nor your lanteeroes cannot serve your turn. I charge you, let me commit you to the tuition —
LAZARILLO
Worshipful Blurt, do not commit me into the hands of dogs.
OMNES
Dogs?
BLURT
Master Lazarus, there’s not a dog shall bite you; these are true bill-men that fight under the commonwealth’s flag.
LAZARILLO
Blurt —
BLURT
Blurt me no Blurts; I’ll teach all Spaniards how to meddle with whores.
LAZARILLO
Most cunning constable, all Spaniards know that already; I have meddled with none.
BLURT
Your being in your shirt bewrays you.
LAZARILLO
I beseech thee, most honest Blurt, let not my shirt bewray me.
BLURT
I say, away with him!
[Music within.]
Music? That’s in the courtesan’s. They are about some ungodly act, but I’ll play a part in’t ere morning. Away with Lazarus.
OMNES
Come, Spaniard.
LAZARILLO
Thy kites and thee, for this shall watch in dirt to feed on carrion.
BLURT
Hence, ptrooh!
LAZARILLO
O base Blurt! O base Blurt! O base Blurt!
Exeunt.
Act V Scene 1.
A ROOM IN Camillo’s house
Enter Camillo, Hipolito, Virgilio, Asorino, Baptista, Bentivolio, Doyt and Dandiprat, all weapon’d, their rapiers’ sheathes in their hands.
CAMILLO
Gentlemen and noble Italians, whom I love best, who know best what wrongs I have stood under, being laid on by him who is to thank me for his life. I did bestow him, as the prize of mine honour, upon my love, the most fair Violetta; my love’s merit was basely sold to him by the most false Violetta. Not content with this felony, he hath dar’d to add the sweet theft of ignoble marriage. She’s now none’s but his, and he, treacherous villain, anyone’s but her’s; he dotes, my honour’d friends, on a painted courtesan, and in scorn of our Italian laws, our family, our revenge, loathes Violetta’s bed, for a harlot’s bosom. I conjure you therefore, by all the bonds of gentility, that as you have solemnly sworn most sharp, so let your revenge be a most sudden.
VIRGILIO
Be not yourself a bar to that suddenness by this protraction.
OMNES
Away, gentlemen, away then.
HIPOLITO
As for that light hobbyhorse, my sister, whose foul name I will rase out with my poniard, by the honour of my family, which her lust hath profaned, I swear — and gentlemen, be in this my sworn brothers — I swear that as all Venice does admire her beauty, so all the world shall be amazed at her punishment. Follow, therefore.
VIRGILIO
Stay, let our resolutions keep together; whither go we first?
CAMILLO
To the strumpet Imperia’s.
OMNES
Agreed; what then?
CAMILLO
There to find Fontinell; found, to kill him.
VIRGILIO
And kill’d, to hang out his reeking body at his harlot’s window.
CAMILLO
And by his body, the strumpet’s.
HIPOLITO
And between both, my sister’s.
VIRGILIO
The tragedy is just. On then; begin.
CAMILLO
As you go, every hand pull in a friend to strengthen us against all opposites; he that has any drop of true Italian blood in him, thus vow this morning to shed others’, or let out his own. If you consent to this, follow me.
OMNES
Via, away! The treacherous Frenchman dies!
HIPOLITO
[Catso], Saint Mark, my pistol; thus death flies.
Exeunt.
Act V Scene 2.
A ROOM IN Imperia’s house
Enter Fontinell and Imperia arm in arm.
IMPERIA
Ah, you little effeminate sweet chevalier, why does thou not get a loose periwig of hair on thy chin to set thy French face off? By the panting pulse of Venus, thou art welcome a thousand degrees beyond the reach of arithmetic. Good, good, good, your lip is moist and moving; it hath the truest French close, even like, “Mapew, la, la, la, etc.”
FONTINELL
Dear lady, O life of love, what sweetness dwells
In love’s variety! The soul that plods
In one harsh book of beauty but repeats
The stale and tedious learning that hath oft
Faded the senses, when in reading more
We glide in new sweets, and are starv’d with store.
Now, by the heart of love, my Violet
Is a foul weed, O pure Italian flower!
She a black negro to the white compare
Of this unequal’d beauty? O most accurst,
That I have given her leave to challenge me!
But, lady, poison speaks Italian well,
And in a loathed kiss I’ll include her hell.
IMPERIA
So, so, so; do, do, do. Come, come, come, will you condemn the mute rushes to be press’d to death by your sweet body? Down, down, down, here, here, here; lean your head upon the lap of my gown. Good, good, good. O Saint Mark, here is a love-mark able to wear more ladies’ eyes for Jewels than — Oh! Lie still, lie still; I will level a true Venetian kiss over your right shoulder.
FONTINELL
Shoot home, fair mistress, and as that kiss flies
From lip to lip, wound me with your sharp eyes.
IMPERIA
No, no, no, I’ll beat this cherry tree thus, and thus, and thus, and you name wound.
Kiss him.
FONTINELL
I will offend so, to be beaten still.
IMPERIA
Do, do, do, and if you make any more such lips when I beat you, by my virginity, you shall buss this rod. Music, I pray thee be not a puritan. Sister to the rest of the sciences, I knew the time when thou couldst abide handling.
Loud music.
Oh fie, fie, fie, forbear! Thou art like a puny barber, new come to the trade: thou pick’st our ears too deep. So, so, so; will my sweet prisoner entertain a poor Italian song?
FONTINELL
O, most willingly, my dear madonna.
IMPERIA
I care not if I persuade my bad voice to wrastle with this music and catch a strain; so, so, so, keep time, keep time, keep time.
Song.
Love for such a cherry lip
Would be glad to pawn his arrows;
Venus here to take a sip
Would sell her doves and team of sparrow[s].
But they shall not so,
Hey nonny nonny no:
None but I this lip must owe,
Hey nonny nonny no.
FONTINELL
Your voice does teach the music.
IMPERIA
No, no, no.
FONTINELL
Again, dear love.
IMPERIA: Hey nonny nonny no.
Did Jove see this wanton eye,
Ganymede must wait no longer;
Phoebe here one night did lie,
Would change her face and look much younger.
But they shall not so,
Hey nonny nonny no;
None but I this lip must owe,
Hey nonny nonny no —
Enter Frisco, Trivia, and Simperina running.
OMNES
O Madonna! Mistress! Madonna!
FRISCO
Case up this gentleman; there’s rapping at door, and one in a small voice says there’
s Camillo and Hipolito.
SIMPERINA
And they will come in.
FONTINELL
Upon their deaths they shall, for they seek mine.
IMPERIA
No, no, no; lock the doors fast! Trivia, Simperina, stir!
BOTH
Alas!
FONTINELL
Come they in shape of devils this angel by,
I am arm’d; let them come in. ‘Uds foot, they die!
IMPERIA
Fie, fie, fie, I will not have thy white body —
Knock.
VIOLETTA
[Within] What ho, madonna?
IMPERIA
O hark! Not hurt, for the Rialto! Go, go, go, put up; by my virginity, put up!
VIOLETTA
[Within] Here are Camillo and Hipolito.
IMPERIA
Into that little room; you are there as safe as in France or the Low Countries.
FONTINELL
Oh God!
Exit.
IMPERIA
So, so, so, let them enter.
[Exit Frisco.]
Trivia, Simperina, smooth my gown, tread down the rushes. Let them enter, do, do, do; no words, pretty darling. [Singing] La, la, la, hey nonny nonny no!
Enter Frisco and Violetta.
FRISCO
Are two men transformed into one woman?
IMPERIA
How now? What motion’s this?
VIOLETTA
By your leave, sweet beauty, pardon my excuse which under the mask of Camillo’s and my brother’s names sought entrance into this house. Good sweetness, have you not a property here, improper to your house: my husband?
IMPERIA
Hah, your husband here?
VIOLETTA
Nay, be as you seem to be, white dove, without gall.
IMPERIA
Gall? Your husband? Ha ha ha! By my ventoy, yellow lady, you take your mark improper. No, no, no, my sugar-candy mistress, your goodman is not here, I assure you. Here? Ha ha!
TRIVIA and SIMPERINA
Here?
FRISCO
Much husbands here!
VIOLETTA
Do not mock me, fairest Venetian. Come, I know he’s here. Good faith, I do not blame him, for your beauty glides over his error. Troth, I am right glad that you, my countrywoman, have received the pawn of my affections; you cannot be hard-hearted loving him, nor hate me, for I love him too. Since we both love him, let us not leave him till we have call’d home the ill husbandry of a sweet straggler. Prithee, good wench, use him well.
IMPERIA
So, so, so.
VIOLETTA
If he deserve not to be used well (as I’d be loath he should deserve it), I’ll engage myself, dear beauty, to thine honest heart. Give me leave to love him and I’ll give him a kind of leave to love thee. I know he hears me; I prithee, try mine eyes if they know him, that have almost drown’d themselves in their own salt water because they cannot see him. In troth, I’ll not chide him; if I speak words rougher than soft kisses, my penance shall be to see him kiss thee, yet to hold my peace.
FRISCO
And that’s torment enough; alas, poor wench.
SIMPERINA
She’s an ass, by the crown of my maidenhead; I’d scratch her eyes out if my man stood in her tables.
VIOLETTA
Good partner, lodge me in thy private bed,
Where in supposed folly he may end
Determin’d sin. Thou smil’st; I know thou wilt.
What looseness may term dotage, truly read,
Is love ripe-gather’d, not soon withered.
IMPERIA
Good troth, pretty wedlock, thou mak’st my little eyes smart with washing themselves in brine. I keep your cock from his own roost? and mar such a sweet face? and wipe off that dainty red? and make Cupid toll the bell for your love-sick heart? No, no, no, if he were Jove’s own ingle, Ganymede; fie, fie, fie, I’ll none. Your chamber-fellow is within; thou shalt enjoy my bed, and thine own pleasure this night. Simperina, conduct in this lady. [Aside, to Frisco] Frisco, silence. Ha ha ha! I am sorry to see a woman so tame a fool. Come, come, come.
VIOLETTA
Star of Venetian beauty, thanks; O, who
Can bear this wrong, and be a woman too?
Exeunt.
Act V Scene 3.
A STREET BEFORE Imperia’s house
Enter Camillo, Hipolito, Virgilio and others, the duke and gentlemen with him, Blurt and his watch on his side, with torches.
OMNES
We are dishonour’d! Give us way! He dies, he dies!
DUKE
I charge you, by your duties to the state,
And love to gentry, sheathe your weapons.
BLURT
Stand! I charge you put up your naked weapons, and we’ll put up our rusty bills.
CAMILLO
Up to the hilts we will in his French body.
My lord, we charge you by the ravish’d honour
Of an Italian lady, by our wrongs,
By that eternal blot, which, if this slave
Pass free without revenge, like leprosy
Will run over all the body of our fames,
Give open way to our just wrath, lest barr’d —
DUKE
Gentlemen —
CAMILLO
Breaking the bonds of honour and of duty,
We cut a passage through you with our swords.
OMNES
He that withstands us, run him through!
BLURT
I charge you, i’ th’ duke’s name, before his own face, to keep the peace.
CAMILLO
Keep thou the peace, that hast a peasant’s heart.
WATCH
Peasant?
CAMILLO
Our peace must have her cheeks painted with blood.
OMNES
Away, through —
BLURT
Sweet gentlemen, though you have called the duke’s own ghost peasant, for I walk for him i’ th’ night — Kilderkin and Pissbreech, hold out — yet hear me, dear bloods: the duke here for fault of a better and myself — Cuckoo, fly not hence — for fault of a better, are to lay you by the heels if you go thus with fire and sword, for the duke is the head, and I, Blurt, am the purtenance. Woodcock, keep by my side. Now sir —
OMNES
A plague upon this Woodcock; kill the watch!
DUKE
Now, in the name of manhood, I conjure ye,
Appear in your true shapes; Italians,
You kill your honours more in this revenge
Than in his murder. Stay, stand; here’s the house.
BLURT
Right, sir, this is the whorehouse; here he calls and sets in his staff.
DUKE
Sheathe all your weapons, worthy gentlemen,
And by my life I swear, if Fontinell
Have stain’d the honour of your sister’s bed,
The fact being death, I’ll pay you his proud head.
CAMILLO
Arrest him then before our eyes, and see,
Our fury sleeps.
DUKE
This honest officer —
BLURT
Blurt, sir.
DUKE
Shall fetch him forth. [To Blurt] Go, sirrah, in our name;
Attach the French lord.
BLURT
Garlic and the rest, follow strongly.
Exeunt [Blurt and the watch].
DUKE
O, what a scandal were it to a state,
To have a stranger, and a prisoner,
Murdered by such a troop. Besides, through Venice
Are numbers of his countrymen dispers’d,
Whose rage, meeting with yours, none can prevent
The mischief of a bloody consequent.
Enter Blurt and watch, holding Fontinell and his weapons.
BLURT
The duke is within an inch of your nose and therefore I
dare play with it, if you put not up; deliver, I advise you.
FONTINELL
Yield up my weapons, and my foe so nigh?
Myself and weapons shall together yield;
Come anyone, come all.
OMNES
Kill, kill the Frenchman! Kill him!
DUKE
Be satisfy’d, my noble countrymen.
I’ll trust you with his life, so you will pawn
The faiths of gentlemen, no desperate hand
Shall rob him of it; otherwise, he runs
Upon this dangerous point, that dares appose
His rage ‘gainst our authority. [To Fontinell] French lord,
Yield up this strength; our word shall be your guard.
FONTINELL
Who defies death needs none; he’s well prepared.
DUKE
My honest fellow, with good defence
Enter again; fetch out the courtesan
And all that are within.
BLURT
I’ll tickle her; it shall ne’er be said that a brown bill look’d pale.
Exeunt [Blurt and] watch.
CAMILLO
Frenchman, thou art indebted to our duke.
FONTINELL
For what?
CAMILLO
Thy life, for but for him, thy soul
Had long ere this hung trembling in the air,
Being frighted from thy bosom with our swords.
FONTINELL
I do not thank your duke. Yet if you will,
Turn bloody executioners; who dies
For so bright beauty is a bright sacrifice.
DUKE
The beauty you adore so is profane;
The breach of wedlock by our law is death.
FONTINELL
Law! Give me law!
DUKE
With all severity.
FONTINELL
In my love’s eyes immortal joys do dwell.
She is my heaven; she from me, I am in hell.
Therefore, your law, your law!
DUKE
Make way, she comes.
Enter Blurt leading Imperia, watch with Violetta mask’d.
IMPERIA
Fie, fie, fie.
BLURT
Your fie, fie, fie, nor your foh, foh, foh, cannot serve your turn. Your must now bear it off with head and shoulders.
DUKE
Now fetch Curvetto and the Spaniard hither;
Their punishments shall lie under one doom.
What is she mask’d?
BLURT
A punk, too. [To watch] Follow, fellows; Slubber, afore.
Exeunt [Blurt with the watch].
VIOLETTA
She that is mask’d is leader of this masque.
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 108