THE WOOD-PECKER.
THE Wood-pecker is a bird that sits by vpon a perch too: but is nothing so dangerous, as this Uulture spoken of before. He deales altogether vpon Returnes, (as men do that take thrée for one, at their comming back from Ierusalem &c.) for hauing a Iewell, a Clock, a King with a Diamond, or any such like commoditie, he notes him well that commonly is best acquainted with the Dire, and hath euer good luck: to him he offers his prize, rating it at ten or fiftéene pound, when happily tis not worth aboue six and for it he bargaines to receiue fiue shillings or ten shillings (according as it is in value) at euery hand, second, third, or fourth hand he brawed: by which means be perhaps in a short time, makes that yeeld h•nforty or fifty pound, which cost not halfe twenty, Many of these Merchant venturers saile from Ordinary to Ordinary, being sure alwayes to make sauing •oiages, when they that put in ten times more then they, are for the most part loosers,
THE GULL.
NOW if either The Leaders, or The Forlorne Hope, or any of the rest, th•ce to heare of a yong Fresh-water soldier that neuer before followed these strange warres, and yet hath a Charge newly giuen him (by the old fellow Soldado Vecchio his father, when Death had shotit him into the Graue) of some ten or twelue thousand in ready money, besides so many hundreds a yeare: first are Scoutes sent out to discouer his Lodging, that knowne: some lie in ambush to note what Apothecaries shop hée resorts too euery morning, or in what Tobacco-shop in Fléet-street he takes a pipe of Smoake in the afternoone: that fort which the Puny holds, is sure to be beleaguerd by the whole troope of the old weather beaten Gallants: amongst whom some one, whose thought to be of a better block for his head, than therest, is appointed to single out our Nouice, and after some faure or fiue dayes spent in Complement, our heire to seauen hundred a yeare is drawne to an Ordinary, into which he no sooner enters, but all the old-ones in that Nest slutter about him, embrace, protest, kisse the hand, Conge to the very garter, and in the end (to shew that hee is no small foole, but that he knows his father left him not so much monie for nothing,) the yong Cub suffers himselfe to be drawne to the stake: to flesh him, Fortune and the Dice (or rather the False dice, that coozen Fortune, & make a foole of him too) shall so fauor him, that he marches away from a battaile or two, the onely winner. But after wards, let him play how warily soeuer he can, the damned Dice shall crosse him, & his siluer crosses shall blesse those that play against him: for euen they that séeme déerest to his bosome, shall first be ready, and be the formost to enter with the other Leaders into conspiracy, how to make spoile of his golden bags. By such ransacking of Cittizens sonnes wealth, the Leaders maintaine themselues braue, the Forlorne-hope, that droop’d before, do’es now gallantly come on. The Eagle fethers his nest, the Wood-pecker pickes vp his crums, the Gul-groper growes fat with good féeding: and the Gull himselfe, at whom euery one has a Pull, hath in the end scarce fethers enough to kéepe his owne back warme.
The Post-maister of Hell, séeing such villanies to go vp and downe in cloakes lin’d cleane through with Ueluet, was glad he had such newes to send ouer, and therefore sealing vp a letter full ot it, deliuered the same to filthybearded Charon) their owne Water-man) to be conuaide first to the Porter of Hell, & then (by him) to the Maister •éeper of the Diuels.
OF FERRETING.
The Man•f vndooing Gentlemen by taking vp of commodities.
CHAP. IIII.
HUNTING is a noble, a manly, & a healthfull exercise, it is a very true picture of warre, nay it is a war in it selfe, for engines are brought into the field, stratagems are contriued, ambushes are laide, onsets are giuen, al•arums struck vp, braue incounters are made, fierce assailings are resisted by strength, by courage, or by pollicy: the enemy is pursued, and the Pursuers neuer giue ouer till they haue him in execution: then is a Retreate sounded, then are spoiles diuided, then come they home wearied, but yet crowned with honor & victory. And as in battailes there be seuerall maners of fight: so in the pastime of hunting, there are seuerall degrées of game. Seme hunt the Lion, and that shewes as when subiects rise in Armes against their King: Some hunt the Vnicorne for the treasure on his head, and they are like couetous men, that care not whome they kill for riches: some hunt the Sp•tted Panther and the freckled Leopard, they are such as to inioy their pleasures, regard not how blacke an infamy stickes vpon them: All these are barbarous & vnnaturall Huntsemen, for they range vp and downe the Deserts, the Wildernes, and inhabitable Mountaines. Others pursue the long liued Hart, the couragious Stag or the nimble footed Deere: these are the Noblesthunters, and they exercise the Noblest game: these by following the Chace get strength of body, a frée and vndisquieted minde, magnanimity of spirit, alacrity of heart and an vnwearisomnesse to breake through the hardest labours: their pleasures are not insatiable but are contented to be kept within limits, for these hunt within Parkes inclosed, or within bounded Forrests. The hunting of the Hare teaches feare to be bould, and puts simplicity so to her shifts, that she growes cunning and prouident: the turnings and cresse windings that she makes, are embleames of •fes vncertainty: when she thinkes she is furdest from danger, it is at he héeles, and when it is nerest to her, the hand of safety defends her. When she is wearied and has runne her race, she takes her death patiently, onely to teach man, that he should make himselfe redy, when the graue gapes for him.
All these kinds of hunting are abroad in the open field, but there is a close citty hunting onely within the walls, that pulles downe Parkes, layes open forrests, destroies Chaces, woundes the Déere of the land, and make such hauocke of the goodliest Heards, that by their wills, (who are the rangers,) none should be left a liue but the Rascalls: This kinds of hunting is base, and ignoble, It is the meanest, yet the most mischieuous, & it is called Ferreting. To behold acourse or two at this, did the light horseman of Hell one day leape into the saddle.
CITTY-HUNTING.
THIS Ferret-hunting hath his Seasons as other games haue, and is onely followed at such a time of yeare, when the Gentry of our kingdome by riots, hauing chased them-selues out of the faire reuenewes and large possession left to them by their ancestors, are forced to hide their heads like Conies, in little caues and in vnfrequented places: or else being almost windles, by running after sensuall pleasures too feircely, they are glad (for keeping them-selues in breath so long as a they can) to tal to Ferret-hunting, yt is to say, to take vp commodities. No warrant can bée graunted for a Bucke in this forrest, but it must passe vnder these fiue hands.
1 He that hunts vp and downe to find game, is called the Tombler.
2 The commodities that are taken vp are cald Pursenets.
3 The Cittizen that selles them is the Ferret.
4 They that take vp are the Rabbet-suckers.
5 He, vpon whose credit these Rabbet-suckers runne, is called the Warren.
HOW THE WARREN IS MADE.
AFTER a raine, Conies vse to come out of their Holes and to sit nibling on wéeds or any thing in the coole of the euening, and after a reueling when younger brothers haue spent al, or in gaming haue lost al, they sit plotting in their chambers with necessity how to be furnished presently with a new supply of money. They would take vp any commodity whatsoeuer, but their names stand in too many texted letters all ready in Mercers and Scriueners bookes: vpon a hundred poundes worth of Roasted bée•e they could finde in their hearts to venture, for that would away in turning of a hand: but where shall they find a Butcher or a Cooke that will let any man runne so much vpon the score for flesh onely? Suppose therefore that Foure of such loose fortun’d gallants were tied in one knot, and knew not how to fasten themselues vpon some welthy cittizen. At the length it runnes into their heads, that such a young Nouice (who daily serues to fill vp their company) was neuer intangled in any citty limebush: they know his present meanes to be good, and thos to come to be great: him therefore they lay vpon the Anuill of their wits, till they haue wrought him like war, for him-selue as well as for them: to doe any thing in war, or indéed till they haue won him to slide vpon
this ice, because he knowes not the danger) is he easily drawne: for he considers within himselfe that they are all gentlemen well descended, they haue rich fathers, they weare good clothes, haue bin gallant spenders, and do now and then (still) let it fly fréely: hee is to venture vppon no more rockes than all they, what then should hée feare? hée therefore resolues to do it, and the rather because his owne exhibition runnes low, & that there lacke a great many wéekes to the quarter day, at which time, he shalbe refurnished from his father. The Match being thus agréed vpon, one of them that has béene an ould Ferret-monger, & knowes all the trickes of such Hu¯ting, séekes out a Tumb••hat is to say a fellow, who beates the bush for them till •hey catch the birds, he himselfe being contented (as he protests & sweares) onely with a few fethers.
THE TUMBLERS HUNTING DRY-FOOTE.
THIS Tumbler being let loose runnes Snuffing vp and downe close to the ground, in the shoppes either of Mercers, Gouldsmithes, Drapers, Haber-bashers, or of any other trade, where hée thinckes hee may méete with a Ferret: and tho vpon his very first course, hee can find his ga•e, yet to make his gallants more hungry, and to thinke he wearies himselfe in hunting the more, hee comes to them sweating and swearing that the Citty Ferrets are so coaped (thats to say haue their lips stitched vp so close) that hee can hardly get them open to so great a sum as siue hundred roundes which they desire. This heat be beeing chewd towne by the Rabber-suckers almost his their hearts, and is worse to them then dabbing on the neckes to Connies. They bid him if he cannot fasten his teeth vpon plate or Cloth, or Silkes, to lay hold on browne paper or Tobacco, Bartholmew babies, Lute stringes or Hobnailes, or two hundred poundes in Saint Thomas Onions and the rest in mony; the Onions they coulde get wenches enough to cry and sell them by the Rope, and what remaines should serue them with mutton. Uppon this, their Tumbler trottes vppe and downe agen, and at last lighting on a Cittizen that will deale, the names are receiued, and deliuered to a Scriuener, who enquiring whether they bee good men and true, that are to passe vppon the life and death of fiue hundred poundes, findes that foure of the fiue, are winde-shaken, and ready to fall into the Lordes handes, Marry the fift man, is an Oake, and theres hope that he cannot bee hewed downe in haste. Uppon him therefore the Cittizen buildes so much as comes to fiue hundred poundes, yet takes in the other foure to make them serue as scaffolding, till the Farme bee furnished, and if then it hold, he cares not greatly who takes them downe. In al hast, are the bondes seald, and the commodities deliuered, And then does the Tumbler fetch his second carreere, and thats this.
THE TUMBLERS HUNTING COUNTER.
THE wares which they fished for beeing in the hand of the fiue shauers, do now more trouble their wits how to turne those Wares into reddy mony, then beefore they were troubled to turn their credits into wares. The Tree being once more to be shaken, they knowe it must loose fruite, and therefore their Factor must barter away theiMarchandise, tho it be withlosse: Abroad is into the Cittie he Sailes for that purpose, and deales with him that sold, to buy his owne Commodities againe for ready mony; He will not doe it vnder 30. l. losse in the Hundred: Other Archers bowes are tryed at the same marke, but al keepe much about one scantling: back therfore comes their Carrier with this newes, that no man will disburse so much present money vppon any wares whatsoeuer. Onely he met by good fortune with one friend (and that friend is himselfe) who for 10 l. wil procure them a Chapman, marry that chapman wil not buy vnlesse he may haue them at 30. l. losse in the Hundred: fuh, try all the Sharers, a por on these Fox-furd Curmudgions, giue that fellow your friend 10. l. for his paines, & fetch the rest of his money: within an houre after, it is brought, and powr’d downe in one heape vppon a tauerne table; where making a goodly shew as if it could neuer be spent, al of the¯ consult what fée the Tumbler is to haue for Hunting so wel, and conclude that lesse then 10. l they cannot giue him, which 10. l. is ye first mony told out Now let vs cast vp this Account: In euery 100. l. is lost 30. which being 5. times 30. l. makes 150. l. that Sum the Ferret puts vp cleer besides his ouer-prising the wares: vnto which 1•0. l lost, ad 10, l more which the Tumbler guls them off, & other 10. l. which he hath for his voyage, al which makes 170. l. which deducted from 500. l. there remaineth onely 330. to be deuided amongst 5. so that euery one of ye partners shall haue but 66. l. yet this they all put vp merily, washing down their losses we Sack and Sugar, whereof they drinke that night profoundly.
HOW THE WARREN IS SPOYLED.
WHILST this faire weather lasteth, and that• sthere is any grasse to nibble vpon. These Rabbee uckers kéep to the Warren wherein they fatned. but th cold day of repaiment approaching, they retire deepe into their Caues; so that when the Ferret makes account to haue fiue before him in chase, foure of the fiue ly hidde¯, & are stolne into other grounds. No maruell then if the Ferret growe fierce & teare open his owniawes, to suck blood from him that is left: no maruaile if he seratch what wool he can fro¯ his back: the Pursnets yt were Set are all Taken vp and carried away. The Warren therfore must bee Searched, That must pay for all, ouer that does hee range like a little •ord. Sargeants, Marshals-men, and Baliffes are sent forth, who lie scowting at euery corner, & with terrible pawes haunt euery walke. In conclusion the bird that these Hawkes flie after, is seazd vpon, then are his fethers pluck’d, his estate look’d into, the¯ are his wings broken, his la¯•s made ouer to a stra¯ger: then must our yong son and heire pay 500. l (for which he neuer had but 66. l.) or else lie in prison. To kéep himselfe from which, he seales to any bond, enters into any statut, morgageth any Lordship, Does any thing, Saies any thing, yéelds to pay any thing, And these Citty stormes (which will wet a man till be haue neuer a dry threed about him, tho he be kept neuer so warme) fall not vpon him once or twise: But being a little way in, he cares not how déepe he wades: ye greater his possessions are, the apter he is to take vp & to be trusted: the more he is trusted, the more he comes in debt, the farther in debt, the neerer to danger. Thus Gentlemen are wrought vpo¯, thus are they Cheated, thus are they Ferreted, thus are they Vndonne.
FAWLCONERS.
Of a new kinde of Hawking, teaching how to catch birds by bookes.
HVNTING and Hawking are of kin, and therefore it is fit they should kéepe company together: Both of them are noble Games, and Recreations, honest and healthful, yet they may so be abused that nothing can be more hurtfull. In Hunting, the Game is commonly still before you, or •’th hearing, and within a little compasse: In Hawking the game flies farre off, and oftentunes out of sight: A Couple of Rookes therefore (that were birds of the last feather) conspired together to leaue their nest in the Citty, and to flutter abroad, into the countrie: Upon two leane hac•eies were these two Doctor doddipols horst, Ciuilly suited, that they might carry about them some badge of a Scholler.
The diuels Ranck-ryder, that came from the last Citty-hu¯ting, vnderstanding that two such Light-horsemen, were gon a Hawking, posts after and ouer-takes them. After some ordinary high-way talk, he begins to question of what profession they were? One of them smyling scornfully in his face, as thinking him to be some Gull, (and •indeed such fellowes take all men for Gulles who they thinke to be beneath them in quallitie) tolde him they were Falconers. But the Fore that followed them seeing no properties, (belonging to a Falconer) about them smelt knauery, took them for a paire of mad rascals, & therfore resolued to see at what these Falconers would let flie.
HOW TO CEST VP THE LURE.
AT last on a suddaine saies on of them to him, sir, wee haue Sprung a Patridge, and so fare you wel which wordes came stammering out with the haste that they made, for presently the two Forragers of the Countrie, were vppon thr Spurre: Plutoes Post seeing this stood still to watch them, and at length saw them in maine gallop make toward a goodly faire place, where either some Knight or some great Gentleman kept, and this goodly house belike was the Partridge which those falconers had sprung. Hee beeing loath to loose his share in this Hawking, and hauing power to transforme himselfe as hee listed, came thither as soone as they, but be
held all (which they did) inuisible. They both like two Knights Errant alighted at the Gate, knocked and were lette in: the one walkes the Hackneyes in an outward Court, as if hee had bene but Squire to Sir Dagonet. The other (as boldly as Saint George when he dar’d the dragon at his verrie Den) marcheth vndauntedly vp to the Hall, where looking ouer those poore creatures of the house, that weare but the bare Blew coates (for A quila non capit Muscas) what should a Falconer meddle with flies? hee onely salutes him that in his eye seemes to bee a Gentleman like fellow: Of him he askes for his good Knight or so, and saies that he is a * Gentleman come from London on a businesse, which he must deliuer to his owne Worshipfull Eare. Up the staires does braue Mount-Dragon ascend, the Knight and he encounter, and with this staffe does he valiantly charge vpon him.
HOW THE BIRD IS CAUGHT.
SIR I am a poore * Scholler, and the report of your vertues hath drawne me hither, venturously bolde to fixe your worthy name as a patronage to a poore short discourse which here I dedicate (out of my loue) to your noble and eternall Memory: this speech he vtters barely.
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 234