Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker

by Thomas Dekker

  Kings are to her beholden for she often sends them suplies, and therefore pay they homage vnto her. Her Captaines are pollitik & fight rather vpon aduantages, then vpon equ•…lity, her soldiers braue & resolute, hardly drawne to venture into dangres, but when they are in, a thousand Stratagems vse they to saue themselues: what they get they kéepe, which is one of ye noblest points belonging to a soulder, for it is more hard to vse a victory wel after it is gotten, then it is to get it. The name of this latter Princesse, is ye renowned Empres Argur•…on (Mony) The name of the former, is that warlike Vi•…ago•…amd ouer all ye earth, for her hardines, called P•…uerty. Now to the intent that ye whole world (as an indifferent Iudge may arbitrate the wrongs done betwéene these two states, & by that meanes find out which of them both come into the field we vniust armes: you shal vnderstand ye Pouerty being sundry waies d•…eply indebted to ye kingdome of Money, as hauing b•…ene from time to time relieued by her, and not being well able to maintaine herselfe in her owne d•…minions, but that Money hath sent her in prouision, it had b•…ene neither policy, neither could it stand with her honour, that Pouerty should first breake the league, neither indéede hath she, but hath euer had a desire to be in amity rather with ye excellent Princesse; then with any other Monarch whatsoeuer. But ye golden mines of the west & east Indies, (ouer which the other Empresse is sole Soueraigne, swelling vp her bosome with pride, couetousnesse, and ambition, as they doe her coffers with treasure, made her to disdaine the miserable poore Quéene, & in that height of scorne, to hate the holding of any confederacy with her, that she on the soddaine, (most treacherously and most tyrannously) laboured by all possible courses, not onely to driue the subiects of Pouerty from hauing commerce in any of her rich & so populous Cities but also wrought (by the cruelty of her own ministers, and those about her) to roote the name, not onely of that infortunate and deiected Princesse, from the earth, but euen to banish all her people to wander into desarts, & to perish, she cared not how or where.

  Hereupon strict proclamation went thundring, vp and downe her dominions, charging her wealthy subiects, not to negotiate any longer with those beggers, that flocke dayly to her kingdome, strong guards were planted at euery gate, to barre their entrance into Cities, whipping-postes and other terrible engines, were aduaunced in euery stréet to send the¯ home bléeding new, if they were take¯ wandring (like shéep broken out of leane pastures into fat) out of their owne liberties, Constables were chosen of purpose that had Marble in their hearts; thornes in their tonges, and flintstones (like pearles) in their eies, and none could be admitted into the office of a Beadle, vnles he brought a certificate from Paris Garden, that he had béene a Beare-ward, and could play the Bandog brauely in baiting poore Christians at a stake, better then curres (there) baite the Bull, or then Butchers Mastiues, when they worry one another.

  These peales of small shot, thus terribly going off, the poore Hungarians (with their pennilesse Princesse) did not onely not shew a fowle paire of héeles, to flye to saue themselues (as it was to be feared they would haue done, like cowardly peasants) but rather they grew desperate, and sticking clos•…y, (like Prentises vpon Shrouetwuesday one to another, they vowed (come death, come diuels) to stand against whole bands of browne rusty bille men, though for their labours they were sure to be knockt downe like Oxen for the slaughter; but a number of Iack-strawes being amongst them, and opening whole Cades of councell in a cause so dangerous, they were all turned to dry powder, took fire of resolution, and so went off with this thundring noise, that they would dy like men, though they were but poore knaues, and counted the stinkards and scum of the world: and yet as rash as they were, they would not run headlong vpon the mouth of the Canon; No, but like snailes pulling in the hornes of their fury, they hid their heades for a time, either (like spies to watch for aduantages, or to try if this rotten whéele of Fortune would turne, and that the broken world could mend, but all the waters of chastity and goodnesse being poisoned, of which they both thirsted, & hoped to drinke: and all the wayes to come to the presence of Money, at whose féete they would haue fallen, and complained of their wrongs, being likewise cut off, & none of their thréed-bare company, vpon paine of death, daring to stand within ten miles of her Court gates, for feare they should either lift them off the hinges and steale them quite away, (being all of beaten gold) or else cunningly in the night time, should file off handfuls (like pin-dust, thereby to enrich themselues, she being their vowed enemie. It was therefore by a generall voice concluded, that they would all put themselues into armes, and for that purpose went in swarmes to the Court of Pouerty, (their good Lady and mistresse) and neuer gaue ouer balling in their eares, till shee had sworne by her crowne, though she had scarce two shillings in her purse, that open warre should presently be proclaimed against that arrogant haughty, ambitious Tyrant Money. Hereupon pouerty summoned her councel for war, together they came, and being set, shée at large laide open what wrongs and dishonors her enemy had done to her & her subiects, withal declaring how willing her poore people were to venture their liues in her quarrell, and that their very fingers itched to be doing with the rich chuffes, and Usurers, and others that were seruants, or rather slaues to Money, adding moreouer, that a number of her enemies subiects too welknown by the name of Banck-rupts (being a great and auncient family in her greatest City) haue of late gotten other mens goods into their hands, spending them basely and villanously in prisons, colouring this their politicke theft, by giuing out, that they are subiects to Pouerty, albeit they were neuer suffered to harbour in her dominions. To cleare herselfe of these, and such like imputations and dishonorable scandals, as also to let Money know, that she hath more right to those townes & Cities to which she pretendeth sole claime then Money hath herselfe, and that like a Prince, though her coffers be not so full, nor her forces so able, she purposeth to defend her owne title, & not to loose one foote of that which was left to her by her Ancestors, all of them comming out of old & ancient houses it is therefore her resolution, to send defiance to her insolent enemy, and to that end (for their aide and Aduice, hath she thus called them before her.

  Her councellors applauded ye courage of their Princesse, and (being first brought on their knées) gaue her reasons to goe forward in so iust a warre. All of them for the most part being glad, that the Golden age should now come amongst them, and proudly reioycing that they should bid battaile to so rich an enemy as Money and her subiects, to haue about with whom, they haue for a long time had both a desire, and waited for aduantage to picke a quarrell.

  Those that were at this time of Pouerties councel, were men well beaten to the world, all of them great trauellers, such as had séene many countries: As hardy as they were wise, it shall not be amisse in this place, to draw the liuelie pictures of them, because if any of their owne countrimen happen to behold them, their report may co¯firme the trueth of all that is here related. Their names are these:

  COUNCELLORS TO POUERTY.

  Discontent.

  Hunger.

  Sloth.

  Industry.

  Despaire.

  Carelesnesse.

  Repining.

  Beggery.

  Miserie.

  DISCONTENT had a graue countenance, somewhat inclining to melancholie, temperate of spéech, and sparing in diet, not caring either for pleasures or greedy of honours: but (as a man that is wearie of the world for the impieties in it) wishing rather to die then to liue. One thing was noted in him more then in any other Courtier, that in all his life time, hee had neuer béene a reuellor, nor euer courted Lady, he seem’d indifferent whether the warres went forward or not: yet inwardly moregréeued at the wrongs of his Prince, then at any iniuries that could be done to himselfe.

  Despaire and Carelesnesse were brothers, & in great fauour with Pouety (their Princesse) she neuer was well but when one of them was in her company, yet the wiser sort thought that they did much mischéefe to the State. Despaire was not beloued by reason of his crueltie: for if hee got any
man into his hands, hee hung him vp presentlie.

  Hunger was one of the best commanders for warre, that was in all the Land: a man of almost an inuincible stomack, hée had ouerthrowne many armies, & sped most fortunately at the besieging of a Towne or Cittie, where continually he vseth to behaue himselfe so valiantly that no stone wall (of what height or strength whatsoeuer) is able to hold him out: yet is hee: not accounted so sound a common wealths man as some of the rest, for that it is imagined, hee loues the enemy better then his owne country, & if occasion were offered, would rather fly to Money then serue Pouerty (his Soueraigne.) A great transporter of corne he hath béene from time to time: for which cause the people hate him in their hearts, and doe now and then openly cry out against him with such clamors, that he hath béene glad to stop their mouthes. The onely good that he doth, and indéede the only cause for which the kingdome loues him, is that when hee leads men on in any hot péece of seruice, they get such stomacks by séeing how brauely he laies about him, that they neuer come off till they be satisfied, victory béeing as good to them as meate and drinke.

  Sloth, by reason that he is troubled with the gout, busies himselfe little with State matters, he hath lyen bed-rid for many yéeres, and gréeues that any stir should be made in the common wealth he was neuer either tilter or trauellor, his body being weake and subiect to diseases, which made him vnapt for both.

  Repining was the onely man, that whetted on both his Prince and her subiects to go forward in these warres: for he could by no means abide either Money or her followers, it fretted him more to sée any of them prosper, then if himselfe had fallen into the lowest misfortune. He dealt altogether in Monopolies: for which the people gaue him many bitter curses, and those (I thinke) kéepe his body so leane.

  Industry, was a goodly personage, a faithfull friend to his Prince, and a father to his country, a great Lawyer, & a déepe scholler, stout in warre, and prouident in peace. Pouerty (whom he serued) did often say, that two such councellors (as Industry) were able vpon their shoulders onely to support any State in the world. In deare yeeres, when the Land had béene ready to sterue, hath he reléeued it, and turned dearth into plenty: his head is euer full of cares, not for himselfe so much as for the people, whom hee loues and tenders as déerely as if they were his kindred: yet stand they not so well affected to him, because he compelles them to take paines, when tis their naturall inclination (like Drones) to liue basely, and to féede vpon the bread that the sweat of other mens browes doe earne. A good States man he is, and a louer of peace, séeking rather to draw Money to be stil in league with Pouerty, then to haue them thus at defiance one against another.

  Beggery, and Miserie, are so well knowne to vs, I shall not néede to draw their faces.

  These councellors, after many arguments, weighed out to prooue the necessity either of warre or peace, at the last concluded vpon the former. The drumme was therefore struck vp, to try what voluntaries would offer themselues: but few voluntaries (or none at all) came in. Then went forth a very streight command, to presse not onely all masterlesse men, but all others of what condition or profession soeuer, that liued vnder the subiection of Pouerty.

  The Captaines, Lieftenants, Corporals, Serieants, and the companies that were casheard and cast, vpon concluding of the late league in the low Countries, hearing of these new warres, threw vp their old weather-beaten hattes we torne sethers in them, fetcht capers aboue ground, danced, swore, drunke tobacko, and Dutch béere, and after they had fallen on their knées cursing for halfe a•… howre together, all truces, leagues, confederacies, & combinations of peace, they bitterly cryed out vpon the proud and tyranous gouernement of Money: some of them damning themselues to the pit of hell, if euer they could but finger her, they would sée an vtter confusion and end of her: because for her sake, and vpon her golden promises they had ventured their liues, spent their blood, lost legs and armes, had béene pinched we cold, parched with heate fed vpon cabbage, vpon rootes, & vpon Christmas day (in stead of minched pyes) had no better chéere then prouant, (mouldy Holland chéese, and course browne bread) not a rag to their backes, yes, rags more the¯ they cared for: but not thrée stiuers among fiue of them. They therefore vowed to serue Pouerty, to liue and dye we her, and with all their forces to set vpon Money, who had made them slaues to the world, not rewarding the¯ to their merit: and thereupon striking vp their drum, and sprea ding their tottered cullors which hung full of honour, because it was full of holes, an•… was indéede no bigger, nay scarce so big, as the flagge of a Play-house, away they came (troopewise) with bag and baggage marching, and were receiued (as old soldiers should be) at the hands of Pouerty, she sweating by her birth, and the fame of her Ancestors (who were well knowne farre and néere) that she would neuer forsake their company, but sticke to them euen to the death.

  The businesse thus successefully thriuing at the first, gaue encouragement to all to haue it set forward, so that precepts were forthwith directed to the Hals of euery Company, who albeit they had furnished the Queene of siluer and gold (Mony) with certaine voluntary bands of sound approued souldiers: Yet (because they themselues, that were old growne okes, cared not how many paltry low bushes that nestled vnder their shadowes were cut downe) they prest ten times more of euery trade, to fight vnder the banner of Pouerty, than those were that went to serue her enemy. Yet was it a long time ere the Handicrafts men could be mustred together: for Carelessenes (one of the former councellours) whose ambition consisted in popular greatnessé, and had stolne the hearts of the common people, gaue them a priuy inckling of the presse before it came forth, and wished them to shift for themselues, by being dispersed, for a time abroad, whose counsel they following, threw by their tooles, neglected their trades, fled from their shops, and spent both their gettings and their goods in common bowlingallies, dicing houses and alehouses. But proclamation being made, That vpon paine of death they should all (by such an howre) be ready to come into the field, and fight for Pouerty (their soueraigne Lady and mistres.) It is incredible to be spoken, what infinite multitudes of all occupations, (some yong, some old) were in a short time assembled together.

  Schollers hearing of this, fled from the Uniuersities, and made such hast to be in pay with Pouerty (whom they had knowne a long time) that some of them had scarce put shoes to their seete: The Queene bestowed very good words vppon them, because Schollers had alwayes béene fauored by her progenitors, and (vpon her bare command) they tooke such place vnder her in the Army, as was sutable to their professions.

  Young Gentlemen, that neither durst walke vp and downe the Citty, for feare of Rauens and Kites, that houered to catch them in their tallons, and could get no entertainement in the court of Money, because they were yonger brothers, and condemned by the verduict of Silkemen and Mercers to be most Desperate fellowes: yet were they all wellcome to Pouerty.

  These yonger Brothers were appointed to stand Infans perdus (or the Forlorne hope) because though they had little to loose but their liues: yet they should winne honour, nay perhaps knighthood, which in these dayes are better then lands: if fat widdowes can be but drawne to nibble at that worshipfull baite. And for that purpose did a goodly troupe of knights put themselues (as knights errant) into Armes, in defence of ye innocent wronged Lady, (Pouerty) which Cheualiers, though they durst not (as some ill-tongd people gaue out) shew their heads in the Cittie: yet were they appointed Masters of the field, and had the charge of the most resolute troopes that were to scale the Cittie (If the enemie should cowardly happen to fly thether) and to ransacke all the Mercers and Gold-smiths shops, not so much to set frée the silkes, veluets, plate and iewels imprisond most cruelly in them, as to vndoe the old Cittizens, & then to marry their yong wiues, and so to raise them vp to honour in their most knightly posteritie.

  A regiment of old seruingmen were sworne the guard to Pouerties person, of whom there was great hope, that they would both stand stifly to her in any danger, and if ye maine battailes did euer ioyne, would be the onely Canonéeres to breake their r
anckes, because they had such excellent skill in charging and discharging of the great Bombard.

  There came in some seuen thousand Banckrouts, offering their seruice to the distressed and wronged Princesse, who gaue them thankes for their loue: yet was she fearefull to trust them, because a number in her owne army exclaimed vpon them, as the ranckest villaines in a common wealth, and that they had vndone them, their wiues and children: But the dangers wherein they now all stoode, requiring rather hands to punish the wrongs done by an enemie, then to rip vp old wounds of their owne. Those seuen thousand had the ordering of all fire-workes, Mines, and countermines, as béeing the onely rare fellowes for damnable and spéedy blowing vp of men in any assault.

  The vanguard béeing filled vp thus with their troopes before named, a stoute company of honest Housholders, (whose seruants like Acteons dogs, had with whoring, dicing, and drinking eaten vp their Masters) came brauely vp in the Reare: their wings consisted of schoolemasters, husbandmen, fencers, Knights of the Poste, and such like, who had all vowed by the crosse of their swords, and by the honour of a souldier to die at Pouerties féete.

  It was in the middle of a Terme, when the fire of these ciuill broiles first began to kindle: but Law hauing with many hard words on both sides taken vp a number of brabling matters, and for her healths sake beeing rid into the country, whereby a great crew of her followers, that were not able with bag and baggage to march after her in that progresse) were ready to giue vp their cloakes, (the summer was so hot for them) and because all their practise was but to set people together by the eares, a number of them therfore vpon their bare knees, begd that they might serue Pouertie in her warres, whereupon certaine broken-héeld, gowtie-legd, durty-hamd pettifoggers, with some lack-latine prowling pennurious country Attorneys were promoted to be Clarkes of Bands, Pandors, Pimpes, and Applesquires came thicke and thréefold, and had the leading of ye Pioners, because they had déepest skill in digging of Trenches.