FAWLCONERS. OF A NEW KINDE OF HAWKING, TEACHING HOW TO CATCH BIRDS BY BOOKES.
HVNTING and Hawking are of kin, and therefore it is sit they should kéepe company together: both of them are noble Games, and Recreations, honest and healthfull, yet they may so be abused that nothing can be more hurtfull. In Hunting, the Game is commonly still before you, or hearing, and within a little compasse: In Hawking, the game flies farre off, and oftentimes out of sight: A Couple of Rookes therefore (that were birds of the last feather) conspired together to leaue their nest in the Citie, and to flutter abroad, into the Countrie: Vpon two leane hackneies were these two Doctor doddipols horst, Ciuilly suited, that they might carry about them some badge of a Scholler.
The diuels Ranck-ryder, that came from the last Cityhunting, vnderstanding that two such Light-horsemen were gone a Hawking, posts after, and ouer-takes them. After some ordinary high-way talke, he begins to question of what profession they were? One of them smyling scornfully in his face, as thinking him to be some Gul, (and * indéed such fellowes take all men for Gulles, who they thinke to be beneath them in qualitie) tolde him they were Falconers. But the Foxethat followed them, séeing no properties, (belonging to a Falconer) about them, smelt knauery, tooke them for a paire of mad rascals, and therefore resolued to sée at what these Falconers would let flie.
HOW TO CAST VP THE LURE.
AT last on a suddaine sayes one of them to him, Sir, we haue Sprung a Partridge, & so fare you well: which words came stammering out with the haste that they made, for presently the two Forragers of the Countrie, were vpon the Spurre: Plutoes Post séeing this, stood still to watch them, and at length saw them in maine gallop make toward a goodly fayre place, where eyther some Knight, or some great Gentleman kept; and this goodly house belike was the Partridge which those Falconers had sprung. Hee being loath to loose his share in this Hawking, and hauing power to transforme himselfe as he listed, came thither as soone as they, but beheld all (which they did) inuisible. They both, like two Knights Errant, alighted at the Gate, knocked, and were let in: The one walkes the Hackneyes in an outward Court, as if he had béene but Squire to Sir Dagonet. The other (as boldly as S. George, when hee dar’d the Dragon at his very Den) marcheth vndauntedly vp to the Hall, where, looking ouer those poore creatures of the house, that weare but the bare Blew-coates (for Aquila non capit Muscas) what should a Falconer meddle with files? he onely salutes him that in his eye séemes to be a Gentleman-like fellow: Of him he askes for his good Knight, or so, and sayes that he is a * Gentleman come from London on a businesse, which he must deliuer to his owne Worshipfull Eare. Vp the staires does braue Mount Dragon ascend; the Knight and he encounter, and with this staffe does he valiantly charge vpon him.
HOW THE BIRD IS CAUGHT.
SIR, I am a poore * Scholler, and the report of your vertues hath drawne me hither, venturously bold to fixe your worthy name as a patronage to a poore short discourse, which here I dedicate (out of my loue) to your noble and eternal Memorie: this spéech he vtters barely.
The Hawking pamphleter is then bid to put on, whilst his Miscellane Maecenas, opens a Booke fayrely aparreld in Vellom, with gilt-fillets, and foure-penny silke ribbon at least, like little streamers on the top of a March-pane Castle, hanging dandling by at the foure corners: the title being superficially suruaid, in the next leafe hee sées that the Author hee, hath made him one of his Gossips, for the Booke carries his Worships name, and vnder it stands an Epistle iust the length of a Hench-mans grace before dinner, which is long inough for any Booke in conscience, vnlesse the writer be vnreasonable.
The Knight being told before hand, that this little sunbeame of Phoebus (shining thus briskly in print) hath his Mite or Atmy wayting vpon him in the outward court, thankes him for his loue and labour, and considering with himselfe, what cost he hath béene at, and hold farre hee hath ridden to come to him, hee knowes that Patrons and Godfathers, are to pay scot and lot alike, and therefore to cherish his young and tender Muse, he giues him foure or sixe Angles, inuiting him either to stay breakefast, or if the sun-diall of the house points towards eleauen, then to tary dinner.
HOW THE BIRD IS DREST.
BVT the fish being caught (for which our Heliconian Angler threw out his lines) with thankes, and legs, and kissing his owne hand, he parts. No sooner is he horst, but his Hostler (who all this while walked the iades, and trauailes vp & downe with him (like an vndeseruing plaier for halfe a share) askes this question, Strawes or not? Strawes cries the whole sharer and a halfe, away then replies the first, flie to our nest: This nest is neuer in the same towne but commonly a mile or two off, and it is nothing els but the next Tauerne they come to. But the Village into which they rode being not able to maintaine an Iuybush, an Ale-house was their Inne: where aduancing themselues into the fairest Chamber, and bespeaking the best chéere in the towne for dinner, downe they sit, and share before they speake of any thing els: That done, he that ventures vpon all he méetes, and discharges the paper Bullets, (for to tel truth, the other serues but as a signe, and is méerely no-body) beginnes to discourse, how he caried himselfe in the action, how hée was encountred: how hée stood to his tackling, and how well hée came off: hée cals the Knight, a Noble fellow, yet they both shrug, and laugh, and sweares they are glad they haue Guld him.
More arrowes must they shoote of the same length that this first was of, and therefore there is Truncke full of Trinckets, that is to say, their budget of Bookes is opend againe, to sée what leafe they are to turne ouer next, which whilst they are dooing, the Ghost that all this space haunted them, and hard what they said, hauing excellent, skill in the blacke art, that is to say, in picking of lockes, makes the dore suddenly flye open (which they had closely shut. At his strange entrunce they being somwhat agast, began to shustle away their bookes, but he knowing what cardes they plaide withall, offred to cut, and turnd vp two Knaues by this tricke: my Maisters (quoth he) I know where you haue bin, I know what you haue done, I know what you meane to doe, I sée now you are Fakoners indéed, but by the (and then hée swore a danuiable oth) vnlesse you teach me to shoote in this Birding peece, I will raise the Village, send for the Knight whom you boast you haue guld, and so disgrace you: for your mony I care not.
The two Frée-booters séeing themselues smoaked, told their third Brother, hée séemed to be a gentleman and a boone companion, they prayed him therefore to sit downe with silence, and sithence dinner was not yet ready, hée should heare all.
This new kinde of Hawking (qd. one of them) which you sée vs vse, can afford no name vnles 5. be at it. viz.
1 He that casts vp the Lure is called the Falconer.
2 The Lure that is cast vp is an idle Pamphlet.
3 The Tercel-Gentle that comes to the Lure, is some Knight, or some gentleman of like qualitie.
4 The Bird that is preied vpon, is Mony.
5 Hee that walkes the horses, and hunts dry-foote is called a Mongrell.
THE FALCONER AND HIS SPANIELL.
THE Falconer hauing scraped together certaine small parings of witte, hée first cuttes them hansomely in pretty péeces, and of those péeces does hée patch vp a booke. This booke hée priúits at his own charge, the Mongrell running vp and downe to looke to the workemen, and bearing likewise some part of the cost, (for which he enters vpon his halfe share.) When it is fully finished, the Falconer and his Mongrell, or it may be two Falconers ioyne in one,) but howsoeuer, it is by them deuised what Shire in England it is best to forrage next: that being set downe, the Falconers •ea either with • Herauld for a note of all the Knights and Gentlemens names of worth that dwell in that circuit, which they meane to ride, or els by inquiry, get the chiefest of them, printing of so many Epistles as they haue names, the Epistles Dedicatory being all one, & vary in nothing but in the titles of their patrons.
Hauing thus furnished themselues, and packed vp their wares, away they trudge, like tinckers, with a budget at one of their backes, or it may be the circle they meane to coniure in shall not be
out of London, especially if it be Tearme-time, or when a Parliament is holden (for then they haue choise of swéete-meats to féed vpon. (If a gentleman séeing one of these bookes Dedicated onely to his name, suspect it to be a bastard, that hath more fathers besides himselfe, and to try that, does deferre the Presenter for a day or two, sending in the meane time (as some haue done) into Paules Church-yard amongst the Stationers to inquire if any such worke be come forth, and if they cannot tell, then to steppe to the Printers: Yet haue the Falconers a tricke to goe beyond such Hawkes too, for all they flye so hie: and that is this: The bookes lye all at the Printers, but not one line of an epistle to any of them (those bug-beares lurke in Tenebris) if then the Spy that is sent by his Maister, aske why they haue no dedications to them, Mounsier Printer tels him, the author would not venture to adde any to them all, (sauing onely to that which was giuen to his Maister, vntill it was knowne whether he would accept of it or no.
This satisfies the Patron, this fetches money from him, and this Cozens fiue hundred besides. Nay there be other Bird-catchers, that vse stranger Quaile-pipes: you shall haue fellows, foure or fiue in a country, that buying vp any old Booke (especially a Sermon, or any other matter of Diuinity) that lies for wast paper, and is cleane forgotten, ad a new printed Epistle to it, and with an Alphabet of letters which they cary about them, being able to print any mans name (for a Dedscation) on the suddaine trauaile vp and downe most Shires in England, and liue by this Hawking.
Are we not excellent Falconersnow (quoth thrée halfe shares?) excellent villaines, cryed the deuils Deputy: by this the meate (for dinnet came smoaking in, vpon which they fell most firannically, yet (for manners sake) offring first, to the Balife of Belzebub the vpper end of the table, but he fearing they would make a Hauke, or a Buzzard of him too, and report they had ridden himlike an Asse, as they had done others, out a doores hée flung with a vengeance as he came.
O sacred Learning why doost thou suffer thy seauen leaued trée, to be plucked by barbarous and most vnhallowed handes? Why is thy beantifull Maiden-body, polluted like a strumpets, and prostituted to beastly and slanish Ignoraike? O then Base-broode, that make the Muses harlots, yet say they are your Mothers? You Theeues of Wit, Cheators of Arte, Traitors of schooles of Learning: murderers of Schollers: More worthy you are, to vndergoe the Romane Furca, like slaues, and to be branded i’th fore-head déeper then they that forge Testaments to vndoe Orphants: Such doe but rob children of goods that may be lost: but you rob Schollers of their Fame, which is déerer then life. You are not worth an Inuectiue, not worthy to haue-your names drop out of a deseruing pen, you shall onely be executed in Picture, (as they vse to handle Malefactors in France) and the picture (though it were drawne to be hung vp in another place) shal leaue you impudently arrogant to your selues, and ignominiously rioiculeus to after ages: in these collours, are you drawne.
The true picture of these Falconers.
— There be Fellowes
Of course and common bloud; Mechanicke knaues,
Whose buried then in graues:
And indeed earthy, whose creation.
Was but to giue a Boote or Shooe good fashion.
Yet these (shrowing by the Apron and the Awle)
Being druncke with their own wit, cast vp their gall
Onely of yncke: and in patchd, beggerly Rimes,
(As full of fowle corruption, as the Times)
From towne to towne they strowle in soule, as poore
As th’ are in clothes: yet these at euery doore,
Their labors Dedicate. But (as at Faires)
Like Pedlars, they shew still one sort of wares
Vnto all commers (with some filde oratlon)
And thus to giue bookes now’s an occupation.
One booke hath seauen score patrons: thus desart
Is cheated of her due: thus noble art
Giues Ignorance (that common strumpet) place,
Thus the true schollers name growes cheap and base, &c.
IACKS OF THE CLOCK-HOUSE. A NEW AND CUNNING DRAWING OF MONEY FROM GENTLEMEN. CHAP. VI.
THERE is another Fraternitie of wandring Pilgrims who merrily call themselues, Iackes of the Clocke-house, and are very néere allyed to the Falconers, that went a Hawking before. The Clarke of Erebus set downe their names too in his Tables, with certaine bréefe notes of their practises: and these they are.
The Iacke of a Clocke-house goes vpon Screws, and his office is to doe nothing but strike: so does this noise, (for they walke vp and downe like Fidlers) trauaile with Motions, and whatsoeuer their Motions get them, is called striking.
Those Motions are certaine Collections, or wittie Inuentions, some-times of one thing, and then of an other (there is a new one now in towne, in praise of the Vnion.) And these are fairely written and engrossed in Vellum, Parchement, or Royall paper, richly adorned with compartiments, and set out with letters both in gold, and in various coulours.
This labour being taken, the Maister of the Motion hearkens where such a Nobleman, such a Lord, or such a Knight lyes, that is liberall: hauing found one to his liking, The Motion (with his Patrons name fairely texted out, in manner of a Dedication,) is presented before him: hée receiues it, and thinking it to be a worke onely vnder-taken for his sake, is bounteous to the giuer, estéeming him a Scholler, and knowing that not without great trauaile, hée hath drawne so many little stragling streames into so faire and smoothe a Riuer: whereas the Worke is the labour of some other (copied out by stealth) by an impudent ignorant fellow, that runnes vp and downe with the Transcripts, and euery Ale-house may haue one of them (hanging in the basest drinking roome) if they will be but at the charges of writing it out. Thus the liberallitie of a Nobleman, or of a Gentleman is abused: thus learning is brought into scorne and contempt: Thus men are cheated of their bountie, giuing much for that (out of their frée mindes) which is common abroad, and put away for base prices. Thus villanie some-times walkes alone, as if it were giuen to Melancholy, and some-times knaues tie themselues in a knot, because they may be more merry, as by a mad sort of Comrades whom I sée leaping into the Saddle, anon it will apeare.
RANCKE RIDERS, THE MANNER OF COZENING INNE-KEEPERS. POST-MASTERS AND HACKNEY-MEN. CHAP. VII.
THERE is a troope of Horsemen, that runne vp and downe the whole kingdome, they are euer in a gallop, their businesse is weightie, their iournyes many, their expences great, their Innes euerie where, their lands no where: they haue onely a certaine Frée-holde called Tyborne, (scituate néere London, and many a faire paire of Gallowes in other Countries besides,) vpon which they liue verie poorely, till they dye, and dye for the most part wickedly, because their liues are villanous and desperate. But what race so euer they runne, their they end it, there they set vp their rest, there is their last baite, whether soeuer their iourney lyes. And these horsmen haue no other names but rancke Riders.
To furnish whem foorth for any iourney, they must haue Riding sutes cut out of these foure péeces.
1 The Inne-kéeper or Hackney-man, of whom they haue horses, is called, A Colt.
2 He that neuer alights off a rich Farmer or country Gentleman, till he haue drawne mony from him, is called, The Snaffle.
3 The money so gotten, is The Ring.
4 He that féedes them with mony is called, The prouander.
These Ranck-riders (like Butchers to Rumford market) sildome goe vnder sixe or seauen in a company, and these Caréeres they fetch. Their pursses being warmely lined with some purchase gotten before, and they themselues well booted and spur’d, and in reasonable good outsides, arriue at the fairest Inne they can choose, either in Westminster, the Strand, the Citie, or the Suburbes.
Two of them who haue cloathes of purpose to fit the play, carrying the shew of Gentlemen, the other act their partes in blew coates, as they were their Seruingmen, though indéede they be all fellowes. They enter all durted or dustied (according as it shall please the high way to vse them) and the first bridle they put into the Colts mouth (that is to say, the Inké
epers) is at their comming in to aske alowde if the footeman be gone backe with the horses? tis answered yes. Héere, the Ranck-riders lye thrée or foure daies, spending moderately enough, yet abating not a penny of any reckoning, to shew of what house they come: in which space their counterfeit followers learne what country-man the maister of the house is, where the Hostlars and Chamberlaines were borne, and what other countrie Gentlemen are guests to the Inne: which lessons being presently gotten by heart, they fall in study with the generall rules of their knauerie: and those are, first to giue out, that their Maister is a Gentleman of such and such meanes, in such a shire (which shall be sure to stand farre enough from those places where any of the house, or of other guests were borne,) that hée is come to receiue so many hundred poundes vpon land which hée hath solde, and that hée meanes to Inne there some quarter of a yeare at least.
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 247