Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker

by Thomas Dekker

  This Hostler for this péece of seruice was afterwards preferred to be one of the Groomes in Belzebubs stable.

  ANOTHER NIGHT-PEECE DRAWNE IN SUNDRY COLLOURS.

  SHALL I shew you what other bottomes of mischiefe Plutos Beadle saw wound vpon the blacke spindels of the Night, in this his priuy search? In some stréetes hée met Mid-wiues running, till they sweat, & following them close at héeles, hée spied them to be let in, at the backe dores of houses, seated either in blind lanes, or in by-gardens: which houses had roomes builded for the purpose, where young Maides, being bigge with child by vnlawfull Fathers, or young wiues (in their husbands abscence at sea, or in the warres) hauing wrastled with batchilers or married men, till they caught falls, lay safely till they were deliuered of them. And for reasonable summes of mony, the bastards that at these windows crept into the world, were as closely now and then sent presently out of the world, or else were so vnmannerly brought vp, that they neuer spake to their owne parents that begot them.

  In some stréetes he met seruants, in whose brest albeit the arrowes of the plague stucke halfe way, yet by cruelll maisters were they driued out of dores at mid-night and conuaid to Garden-houses, where they either died before next morning, or else were carried thither dead in their coffins, as tho they had lien sicke there before and there had dyed.

  Now and then at the corner of a turning hée spied seruants purloying fardels of their maisters goods, & deliuering them to the hands of common strumpets.

  This dore opened, and Lust with Prodigality were heard to stand closely kissing: and (wringing one another by the hand) softly to whisper out foure or fiue goodnights till they met abroad the next morning.

  A thousand of these comedies were acted in dumbe shew, and onely in the priuate houses: at which the Diuells messenger laught so loude that Hell heard him, and for ioy rang foorth loud and lustie Plaudities. But being driuen into wonder why the night would fall in labour, and bring foorth so many Villanies, whose births she practised to couer (as shée had reason) because so many watchmen were continually called and charged to haue an eye to her dooings, at length hée perceiued that Bats (more vgly and more in number then these) might flye vp and downe in darkenesse: for tho with their Letherne Wings they should strike the very billes out of those Watchmens handes, such leaden plummets were commonly hung by sléepe at all their eyelids, that hardly they could be awakned to strike them agen.

  On therefore hée walkes, with intent to hasten home, as hauing fil’d his Table-Bookes with sufficient notes of intelligence. But, at the last, méeting with the Bel-man, and not knowing what hée was, because hée went without his Lanthorne and some other implements: for the man in the Moone was vp the most part of the night, and lighted him which way soeuer hée turned, hée tooke him for some churlish Hobgoblin, séeing a long staffe on his necke, and therefore to be one of his owne fellowes. The Bel-ringer Smelling what strong scent hée had in his nose, soothed him vp, and questioning with him how hée had spent his time in the citie, and what discouery of Land-villanies hée had made in this Iland voiage: tho Mariner of hell, opened his chart, which he had lined with all abuses, lying either East, West, North, or South: hée shewed how hée had pricked it, vpon what points hée had saild, where hée put in: vnder what height hée kept him-selfe: where hée went a shore, what strange people he met: what land hée had discouered, and what commodities hée was laden with from thence. Of all which the Bel-man drawing forth a perfect Map, they parted: which Map hée hath set out in such collors as you sée, tho not with such cunning as hée could wish: the paines are his owne, the pleasure, if this can yéelde any pleasure, onely yours, on whom hée bestowes it: to him that embraceth his labours, hée dedicates both them and his loue: with him that either knows not how, or cares not to entertaine them, hée will not be angry, but onely to Him sayes thus much for a farrewell.

  — Si quid Nouisti rectius istis,

  Candidus imperti: Si non, His vtere mecum,

  Heere endeth the Bel-man.

  O per se O.

  LONDON: Printed for Iohn Busbie, and are to be sould at his shop in Fleetestreet in S. Dunstans Church-yard. 1612.

  O, PER SE O.

  AND so Good-morrow (Goodman Bel-man of London:) your Night-piece is drawne, and my Day-worke is now to begin. Let my morning therefore I pray you be your midnight, and now when all others rise to goe to their labours, (who could scarce sléepe by reason of the noyse you made with your Clapper) get you to your bed, and dreame vpon your pillow vpon some new discouerie. In that Map of Villanies, which you haue drawne in Print already, I like the handling of your Pensill, but not the laying on of your colours: they are smooth enough, but you haue not giuen them their true Swéetning, Heightning, and Shadowing. But I cannot blame you, because nocte latent mendae, Women, Horses and Colours are not to be chosen by candle-light: and you (Gaffer Bell-man) hauing no better guide, it is a wonder you stumbled no wore, considering you walked i’th darke. If therefore by my spectacles (being clearer then yours) I haue discouered more nests of Blacke-birds, (I meane more Villanies of the Diuels owne hatching) then euer flew to your ••st, and were sold afterwards to sing in Shops in Paules Church-yard, it ought not to raise vp your coller an inch higher for all that, sithence in both our Land-discoueries our sailes are hoysted vp onely to doe good to the Common-wealth, and because the Notes which I sing may appeare to be of mine owne setting, and not eyther borrowed or stolne from any other. You shall know that seruing (in the late Quéenes time) many yéeres together in the office of an High-Constable, in that Countie, wherein I now dwell, I drew from the examination of such lewd persons as came before mée, the truth of all those villaynes which here I publish.

  In the mustring of this damned Regiment, I found, that whether they were Roagues taken in Romboyles (that is to say, in Watches or Wardes) by the Petty Harman Beck, (who in their Company, signifies a petty Constable) or whether they were such as in the Canting tongue are called Mawnderers (of begging or demanding,) whether they liued in Bowsing Kennes (Ale-houses) or what other course thread of life soeuer any of them all spunne, it was euer wound in a blacke bottome of the most pernicious making vp that the Diuell could teach them: insomuch that albeit the very Sun-beames could possibly haue written downe the discouerie of any grosse villanies, by them committed, they would as easily venture vpon damning, in denyall of it with oates, as if there had beene no hell for such offenders.

  For my better painting forth these Monsters, I once tooke one of them into my seruice (being a sturdy, biglimde young fellow) of him I desired some knowledge in their gibrish, but hée swore hée could not Cant, yet his Roague-ship séeing himselfe vsed kindly by mée, would now and then shoote out a word of Canting, and being thereupon asked why with oathes hée denyed it before, hée told mée, that they are sworne neuer to disclose their skill in Canting to any Housholder, for if they doe, the other Mawnderers or Roagues, Mill them (kill them,) yet hée for his part (hée said) was neuer sworne, because hée was a Clapperdogeon, that is to say, a Begger-borne. This Clapperdogeon staid with mée so long as hée durst, and then bingd a waste in a darkmans, stoole away from mée in the night time. So that what intelligence I got from him, or any other trained vp in the same Rudiments of Roaguery, I will briefely, plainely, and truely set downe, as I had it from my Diuellish Schoolemaister, whom I call by the name of O per se O.

  Of him I learned, that the cause why so many of this wicked Generation wander vp and downe this Kingdome is, the frée command, and abundant vse they haue of Women: for if you note them well, in their marching, not a Tatterdemalion walkes his round, (be hée young, be hée olde) but hée hath his Mort, or his Doxie at his héeles, (his Woman, or his Whore) for in hunting of their Rascall-déere this Law they hold, when they come to strike a Doe, if shée will not wap for a wyn; let her Trine for a make, if shée will not — O per se O for a penny, let her hang for a halfe-penny.

  And this libertie of Wenching is increased by the almost infinite numbers of tipling houses, called Bowsing
Kennes, or of Stalling Kennes, that is to say, houses where they haue ready money for any stolne goods: vnto which nests, birds flye of the same feather, that the owner is of: for if the Ale-seller, be a Horse-stealer, a Cut-purse, a Robber by the High way, a Cheater, &c. of the same coate are his guests. These houses are the Nurseries of Roagues and Thorues: for how could they bestow cloakes, shéetes, shirts, and other garments being stolne, if they had not Stalling Kennes to receiue them? Why should Grunters (Pigges) goe whining out of the world, hauing their throates cut by Roagues, if they had not Bowsing Kennes to eate them in? In the Ceremonie of whose ragged Assemblies, the Bell-man a little mistooke himselfe, for Driggers, Filchers and Cloyers being all (in English) Stealers, vse neyther roastmeate, nor spits in their Feastings, as hée furnisheth them, but when they entend to strike a hand, they leuie their damnable troopes in the day, but they sally forth, & share the spoyles in the night. For some one sturdy hell-hound aboue the rest, vndertakes to be the Miller) that is to say, the Killer:) I hope this can be no disgrace to any honest Miller, who is no théefe with a false Hopper) And this Killer brings to the flaughter-house of the Diuell (viz. a Bowsing Kenne) a Bleating Chete, (a Shéepe) Another, Mils a Crackmans, breakes a hedge, and that wood heates the Ouen, whilest the Shéepe is dressed, cut in pieces, and put into earthen Pots, made for the purpose to bake their victuals in. The Ouens mouth being thus dawbed vp, out flye the little Diuels (more dambde then the Ouen) eyther to breake an house some two or thrée miles off, or to doe as bad a Villanie. The piece of Seruice being performed, a Retraite is sounded, and about mid-night they returne merrily, fall to their good-cheare manfully, and then diuide their spoyles of stolne shirts, smockes, or any thing else, most théeuishly. In which Partnership the Host and Hostesse are chiefe sharers, but such subtill shop-kéepers are these Habberdashers of the Diuels small Wares, that they neuer set out to sell, but when the coast is cleare, and that (as théeues doe among Brokers) the Hue and Cryes throate be stopt that went balling after them: for about a seuennight after, (when all is hushd) to the Stalling Kenne goes the Duds for Loure, to the théeuing house are the stolne cloathes sent roundly for money: which being told out and diuided, away flye these Rauens scatteringly, the next prey that they light vpon, being euer at some Faire, or else a market.

  And now that we talke of Fayres, let my penne gallop ouer a few lines, and it shall bring you (without spurring) swiftlier into Glocesser-shire, then if you rode vpon Pacolet: there if you please to alight néere Tewksbury, at a place called Durrest-Fayre, (being kept there vpon the two Holy-Roode dayes) you shall sée more Roagues, then euer were whipt at a Carts-arse through London, and more Beggers then euer came dropping out of Ireland. If you looke vpon them, you would thinke you liued in Henry the sixt time, and that Iacke Cade, and his rebellious rag-amuffins were there mustring. Dunkirke cannot shew such sharkes. The wilde Irish are but flockes of wilde-Géese to them. And these swarmes of Locusts come to this lowste Fayre, from all parts of the Land, within an hundred myles compasse. To describe the Boothes is lost labour, for let the Hang-man shew but his wardrop, and there is not a ragge difference betwéene them. None here stands crying, What doe you lacke? for you can aske for nothing that is good, but here it is lacking. The Buyers and Sellers are both alike, tawnie Sunne-burnt Rasealds, and they flocke in such troopes, that it shewes as if hell were broke loose. The Shoppe-kéepers are Théeues, and the Chap-men Roagues, Beggers and Whores: so that to bring a purse-full of money hither, were madnesse: for it is sure to be cut.

  But would you know what Wares these Marchants of Eele-skinnes vtter? onely Duds for the Quarrons, that is to say, cloathes for the body, which they haue pilfered from hedges or houses. And this filthy Fayre beginnes before day, and endeth before nine in the same morning: at which breaking vp, they doe not presently march away with their bagges and their baggages, but hée who is chosen the Lord of the Fayre, (who is commonly the lustiest Roague in the whole Bunch) leades his •ottered foote-men and foote-women from Ale-house, to Ale-house, where being armed all in Ale-of-proofe, and their Ben Bowse (the strong Liquor) causing them to haue Nase Nabs (drunken Coxecombes) vp fling they the Cannes, downe goe the Boothes, about ••ye broken Iugges: here lyes a Roague bléeding, there is a •ort cursing, here a Doxie stabbing with her knife: and thus this Fayre which beginnes merrily, ends madly: for Knaues set it vp, and Queanes pull it downe.

  Yet to méete at this assembly, (how farre off soeuer they be) they will kéepe their day, though they hoppe thither vpon one crutch: and it is for seauen causes that thus they bestirre their stumps to be at this vpsitting, which are these, viz.

  1 Euery one as his Roague-shippe is of bulke, or can best swagger, desireth to be chosen Lord of the Fayrs: or if hée loose his Lord-ship, yet to be a Retayner at least, and to fight vnder his tottered colours.

  2 To méete with the Sister-hood and Brother-hood of Whores and Wallet-mongers.

  3 To share such money as is taken for (Duds and Cheates wonne) cloathes and things stolne.

  4 To know how the world goes abroad, what newes in the Deusuile, (the Countrey, and where is Benship, (Good) or where (Quire) Naught.

  5 To be Bowsie (drunken) for company.

  6 To bandy their tawny and weather-beaten forces of Mawderers (being of their owne Fraternitie) against any other troope of Mountibankes, at any other Fayre or Market, where the lowesi Randeuouz is to be made.

  7 Lastly, to enact new warme orders, for fresh stealing of cloathes, &c. with all manner of Armour for the body, but especially, Stamps (Shooes) because (being Beggers) they are seldome set on horse-backe.

  These are the seauen halters that draw these Hell-hounds to this Fayre, for the least of which seauen, they will venture a hanging.

  The Fayre is broken vp, and because it is their fashion at the trushing vp of their packes, to trudge away merrily, I will here teach you what O per se O is, being nothing else but the burden of a Song, set by the Diuell, and sung by his Quire: of which I will set no more downe but the beginning, because the middle is detestable, the end abhominable, and all of it damnable

  Thus it sounds:

  Wilt thou a begging goe,

  O per se, O. O per se, O.

  Wilt thou a begging goe?

  Yes verily, yea.

  Then thou must God forsake,

  and to stealing thee betake.

  O per se, O. O per se, O.

  Yes verily yea, &c.

  This is the Musicke they vse in their Libkens (their lodgings) where thirtie or fourtie of them being in a swarme, one of the Maister Diuels sings, and the rest of his damned crew follow with the burden: In which mid-night Catter-wallings of theirs, nothing is heard but cursing and prophanation, and such swearing, as if they were all Knights of the Poste. Iewes did neuer crucifie Christ with more dishonour, then these Rakehels, who with new inuented fearefull oathes teare him in pieces: and no meruaile, for most of those who are Beggers borns, are neuer Christened: besides, they haue in their Canting, a word for the Diuell, or the plague, &c. as Ruffin for the one, and Cannikin for the other: but for God they haue none: onely they name him, but it is not in reuerence, but abuse: all their talke in their nasty Libk•ns, (where they lye like Swine) being of nothing, but Wapping, Nigling, Prigging, Cloying, Filching, Cursing, and such stuffe. Who therefore would pittie such impostors, whose faces are full of dissembling, hearts of villanie, mouthes of curses, bodies of soares (which they call their great Cleymes) but laid vpon their flesh by cunning whose going Abram (that is to say naked) is not for want of cloathes, but to stirre vp men to pittie, and in that pittie to coozen their deuotion: now whereas the Bel-man (in his priuie search) found out the nests of these Scréech-Owles, pulling off some of their feathers, onely to shew their vglinesse, but for want of good and perfect eye sight, not ••eaing off their skinnes, as I here purpose to doe, and so to draw bloud. I will finish that which the Bell-man (by being ouerwatchd) left lame, and shew those abuses naked to the world, which hée neuer discouered.

&n
bsp; First therefore shall you behold the Abram-man in his true colours, his right shape, his owne ragges, and then shall you heare the phrase of his Mawnd or Begging.

  Next him comes marching the Counterfeit Souldier, with his Mawnding note too. At his taile follow Ben-feakers of Iybes, (that is to say) Counterfeiters of Passe-ports.