by Dana Mason
Erin nodded and wiped away her tears. “I’m stupid to have fallen for it.”
“No, you’re not. You’re young, and you trust the adults in your life. There is nothing wrong with that. Jeffries is a game-player, he tricked you. It’s not your fault. Please, tell me what he told you to convince you to take your swimsuit off.”
“He told me I was the perfect poster child for the team. Told me he would make me captain and how much more he relied on me compared to the other girls. Said he needed me to help him out. Then he said how pretty I was, and since I’d worked so hard, he could take some fun shots. Then he asked me to try some cool poses. He told me to act like a model. At first, we were having fun, then he slipped my strap down and . . .” she stopped, overcome with sobs.
Melissa reached out for her hand, glancing at Brian, who was trying to regulate his breathing. His face had grown pale, and he looked as nauseated as Melissa felt.
After a moment, Brian leaned forward. “Take a deep breath, Erin,” he whispered. When she did, he looked at her and tried to make eye contact. “You okay?”
She nodded and wiped her face with a napkin.
“Erin, the first time he took pictures of you without your suit, did he touch you in any way?”
Erin looked up with puffy, red eyes. “He only helped me pose as he took pictures. He didn’t really do anything.”
“What do you mean ‘not really’?” Brian asked.
“He . . . uh . . . he only touched my knees and held my hair up while he took pictures,” she said, trying again to take a deep breath.”
“How many more times did you meet with him?”
“Two more times until the end of the school year. I didn’t want to . . . but he wouldn’t leave me alone until I did.”
“Did he take more pictures?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“All with your clothes off?”
“Some with, some without.”
“Did he continue to harass you?”
“No, he stopped toward the end of the year.”
“Why did he stop?”
She shrugged. “Maybe that’s when he and mom started . . .”
“You think he stopped because he was with your mother?”
Erin nodded.
“When did you start meeting him this year?”
“After your fight with him.”
“Why did you start meeting him again?”
“He threatened to tell you about the pictures. He said you would hate me for taking my clothes off in front of a man. After that, he threatened to share them on Facebook or leave printed copies in the boy’s locker room.”
“Do you understand now how he manipulated you? Do you still believe I would hate you?”
Her face crumpled again. “I was just so disgusted with myself, and I knew how disappointed you’d be.” She grabbed the top of her robe to hold it closed.
“I’m not disappointed in you, babe. He victimized you. I’m disappointed I didn’t make more of an effort to warn you about people like him. It’s my job as your father to prepare you for situations like this.”
“I should have known not to take my clothes off. I shouldn’t have let him. I should have told mom when I saw her kissing him. I should have told you when I saw mom with him. If I would have told her, she wouldn’t have left, and she wouldn’t have had the car accident.”
“No!” Melissa and Brian said at the same time. They both reached out to touch her. “Your mother and I were having problems, Erin . . . problems that had nothing to do with Frank Jeffries or you.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
Brian stood and went to her side, letting her rest her head on his stomach while he hugged her. “What happened to your mom, honey, her death was God’s will, not yours. We can’t control these things.” He knelt down in front of her and lifted her chin, putting them eye-to-eye. “It would sicken your mother to hear you blaming yourself for what happened. You—you and Cody—were her whole world. Please, don’t disrespect that by taking the blame for what’s happened to you . . . or to her.
“Coach Jeffries started texting the photos to me with messages saying things like ‘how would this look as your Facebook profile picture?’ I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”
“That’s textbook manipulation, honey. That’s what these bastards do . . . but do you realize now that he couldn’t have done anything like that because he would have gotten caught.”
When Erin’s shoulders started moving up and down with her sobs, Brian held her until her crying subsided. Melissa felt like she was intruding on them. It was stupid to feel that way, but she couldn’t help it.
When Erin had calmed down some, Brian sat next to her. “I need to ask you a few more questions. Do you think you’re up for it?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, Daddy.” She tried to smile at him, and that nearly broke Melissa’s heart in two. Would she have been so brave at Erin’s age? God, what she would have done to still have her dad at sixteen. She felt this fully in Erin’s smile. Erin was such a daddy’s girl.
“Erin, what happened when you met with him at the school on Friday night?”
“When I found out he’d made plans to meet with Anna, I told him I would take her place. I told him I would meet with him if he left her alone.”
“So you took your mom’s gun with you? Did you plan to shoot him?”
“No, I went there to tell him I wasn’t doing it anymore. I told him I would tell you everything if he didn’t stop what he was doing. I told him he couldn’t threaten me anymore, and to leave my family and my friends alone, or I would tell you and the police what he did.”
“What happened after you told him that?”
Erin covered her face and muttered, “When I refused to get undressed, he tried to rape me . . .”
Brian reached out and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you like I should have been.”
“Daddy . . .” she said, hiding her face. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Erin, is that when you shot him? When he tried to rape you?”
“Yes, I managed to get the gun out of my bag while he fought to get his clothes off. When I pulled the gun out, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it down. When he did that, I pulled the trigger.”
Brian lifted the hair off her hairline to examine the small cut they’d noticed during their fort sleepover. “Is this from him hitting you?”
Erin nodded, rubbing the cut with her finger.
“We’re meeting with an attorney; he’s a friend of Uncle Mark and Auntie Ali. I’ll tell him everything so you don’t have to do it. But, Erin, you will have to talk to the judge and the District Attorney. You will have to say everything you’ve said to me. Can you do that?”
Erin shook her head. “I can’t, Daddy.”
“I understand you’re scared, but I also know how strong and brave you are.”
“I’m not, Daddy. I’m not brave . . . I’m scared. I let him do these things because I was scared.”
“Erin, bravery—courage—doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It simply means you confront fear when faced with it. Courage is standing strong against things—against people—who oppress the weak. You’ve already proven you’re courageous by putting yourself in danger to protect your family and your friends.”
Brian took both of her hands in his. “There are many victims, Erin, and I hate the idea of you having to relive this over and over . . . but speaking out is the right thing to do. We need to speak out for the few victims who don’t have a voice.”
Erin nodded. “Will you and Melissa be there?”
“Absolutely. I won’t let them talk to you without me.” Brian stood and walked to the coffee pot to refill his mug. Melissa could see his body tremble. She wanted to go to him, but Erin beat her to it when she stood and followed him over to embrace him. When she wrapped her arms around his waist, he turned to hug her.
Melissa, again, felt like an
intruder. She couldn’t explain it, but it was as if an invisible wall had erected between her and Brian over the last few hours. The uneasiness of it made her nauseous.
Brian fought to keep his emotions in check as he hugged Erin, his struggle obvious in his expression. When he opened his eyes and stared at Melissa over Erin’s head, the distance between them was there—where it hadn’t been before.
Brian kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Erin. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Okay.” She cried.
“Why don’t you go get ready,” Brian said. “Take a hot bath and relax for a while before we have to do this. You have enough time.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” She nodded and lifted to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you, too, Daddy.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
When they walked out of the judge’s chambers, the thought of sitting through another meeting nearly brought Brian to his knees. He had no idea how incredibly draining this would be. He was dead on his feet, and all he’d done all day was sit on his ass and listen to people talk. Erin and Melissa looked almost as bad as he felt. Erin had done an incredible job. She had told her story with emotion, but still with a lot of strength.
Melissa had sat quietly, providing support and strength to both of them. Having to listen to the story over and over had to have been as difficult on her as it had been on him, but she’d done it, and he loved her all the more for being there.
“Lis, here are my keys. Take Erin home while I meet with the sergeant.”
“I don’t want to leave you.” The look she gave him made him want to cry.
“I’ll be fine. You’re exhausted and so is Erin.” He handed her some money. “Get dinner and pick-up Cody from Mark’s. He has to be freaking out right now.”
“Brian . . .”
“I appreciate that you want to help me, but you can’t protect me from my boss. I want you two home so I don’t have to worry about you.”
“Okay,” she said and embraced him before turning to leave.
Brian walked into Sergeant Hendricks’ office and took a seat across from him. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to talk. He only needed to listen.
“Hammel, you’ve had a long day, so I’ll keep this short. I’m extending your suspension for another fourteen days, pending the investigation.”
Brian nodded. “I understand. What are we looking at here, after the investigation?”
“I’m not sure. The fact is, your false statements to Martinez and Bennett hindered this investigation, and because of that, we’ve lost our suspect.”
Brian nodded again. “I’m sorry for the mess I created, but I had to protect my daughter.”
“You’re my best detective, Hammel. I can’t believe, after a spotless record for years, you’ve gone and got yourself in the worst kind of trouble.” He leaned back in his chair. “If it weren’t for the other bullshit you’ve done this year, this one wouldn’t be so bad.”
Brian didn’t respond. What could he say? He’d do it again if he had to. At this point, his spotless record only proved the true neglect he’d put his family through. Whatever, what-the-fuck-ever. He didn’t care anymore. His family needed to be his number one priority.
He’d put everything into this job, and it had been at their expense. Why would he want to continue the vicious cycle? But when he thought about not being a cop, he got nauseous. It was all he had ever wanted to do. Without his badge, he didn’t know who he was. Would a change like that affect his relationship with Melissa? He scoffed. He couldn’t even make Melissa a priority compared to his kids. He needed to think about Erin and Cody, not his love life.
“Go home, Hammel,” Hendricks said. “Get some rest, we’ll be in contact with a date and time for your disciplinary hearing.
“Thanks,” Brian said. He stood and left the office . . . then left the building, wondering what on earth would happen to him next.
When he got home, Melissa, Erin, and Cody were curled up on the couch together, watching a movie. Cody jumped up and hugged him. Brian picked him up and held him in a tight hug.
“Hey, buddy, did you have fun at Jamie’s house?”
“Yeah. Are you back to work, Dad?” he asked.
Brian caught the hint of disappointment in Cody’s voice. Wow, the things he’d ignored all this time. His kids missing him . . . damn, he was an idiot. “I had some important meetings today, buddy, but I have a couple more weeks off,” Brian said, placing Cody back on the couch between Erin and Melissa.
“Good,” Cody said on the tail end of a big yawn.
“Can you go get your pajamas on? It’s late and you have school tomorrow.”
“But the movie is almost over. Can I finish it first?” Cody asked with a whine in his voice.
“If you promise to hurry and brush your teeth and get ready for bed when it’s over.”
“I will,” Cody said, already tuning Brian out and focusing back on the movie.
Brian climbed the stairs. When he entered his room, he sat on the bed and lay back, sinking into the down comforter. He had nothing left to give. Every ounce of energy funneled out of him as soon as his head hit the bed. He’d been through some serious shit in his life, but nothing had ever compared to this. Rock bottom. He sat at the very rock bottom of a deep pit, and he didn’t have enough left to pull himself out.
When the bedroom door opened and closed, he couldn’t even muster the strength to open his eyes, but he felt the bed dip when Melissa sat next to him. He reached for her, and the touch of her skin alone made him feel better. He pulled her down next to him, and she rested her head on his chest.
“Hi,” she said. “How did it go?”
“I have a hearing in two weeks. Then I’ll find out if I still have a job.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“I’m so tired right now, I don’t care.” He turned and rested his eyes on her face before cupping it with his hand. “Thank you for today.”
“Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll get the kids down.”
“No, I want to do it.”
They both got up and got Erin and Cody in bed without much of a fight. Erin was so tired, she could hardly get up the stairs, and Cody kept his promise to hurry after the movie was over.
With both kids in bed, Brian couldn’t put off the inevitable. He faced Melissa, not sure what to do; he needed some time to work things out. He only wanted a few days to figure out how to proceed and what to do about her. After reading Julie’s journals, he couldn’t pretend everything had been perfect when it wasn’t. He’d let Melissa go before he’d make her hate him again, although he knew the outcome would be the same.
“Lis . . . I need to talk to you.”
“I know,” she said. “I understand you’re struggling with whatever you found in those journals.”
“I need a few days to work some things out. I love you, but I need some time.”
“Why don’t you talk to me, Brian? Maybe I can help.”
“This isn’t something you can fix, sweetheart.” He placed his hands on her upper arms. “I love you more than I can explain, but I need to . . . I need a few days to work shit out in my head.”
She fought to keep her tears at bay—he could see it in her eyes—but instead of fighting with him, she gave him the warmest smile. A smile that forced him to swallow back his own tears.
“I’ll go home. I knew this was moving too fast,” she said.
“No, it’s not about us. I love you, Lis. Nothing has changed. I have a couple of demons to slay before I can . . .” He cupped her face with his hands. “You are everything to me, and I don’t want to screw it up. Do you understand?”
She nodded and placed her hands over his. “I love you, too.”
”This is not a means to an end. It’s a means to a beginning. This . . .” He kissed her gently. “This is too important to play around with. I don’t want to take any chances.”
“I understand. I’m just goin
g to miss you.”
“A couple of days,” he promised and kissed her with more force this time. He moved his hands around her and hugged her with everything he had.
“Please call me when you get home,” he whispered into her hair, then inhaled her scent and dedicated it to memory. God, he was going to miss her, too. Being away from her for a few hours was hard . . . but days away . . . ugh.
“Okay, I love you.”
Brian ran his hand up the back of her neck and into her hair and held her head as his mouth sank into hers. “I love you more,” he said and released her slowly.
Melissa turned and walked away. Brian watched her leave, fighting the urge to chase after her and stop her. This goodbye reminded him of another day he’d let her walk away from him, and that memory would never stop haunting him until he worked things out regarding Julie. He had to clear his head and fix things inside of him and face what he’d done.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Melissa sighed as she flipped through the new prints. Then she laughed. She couldn’t help it. Cody’s bright smile brought instant happiness to her heart. The pictures from their last night together—before everything had fallen apart—were priceless. She’d never forget that night, the fort, and their campout on the carpet in front of the TV. God she missed them.
She hadn’t heard a word from Brian in a week, and it killed her not to pick up the phone and call him. She couldn’t though. She needed to let him reach out to her. He’d made it clear he needed time without her. Brian had things to work out with his dead wife before he could be with Melissa again. He would call when he was ready, and she was all right with that—at least that’s what she told herself over and over as she sat alone in her apartment.
She’d gotten a lot of work done. Her columns were written through the end of February. She just needed to send them in. She’d gone through all her new photos and printed her favorites. She was staring into Brian’s eyes when the phone made her jump.