by L. B. Dunbar
18
[River]
By Monday night’s manicures and margaritas, I have a serious girl crush on both Autumn and Anna. Autumn is the owner of Crossroads Café, one of my favorite local places, especially as it is an easy walk from my house. There isn’t an eat-in dining section but a custom-made sandwich counter and a coffee station complete with sugary treats to satisfy my occasional sweet tooth.
Anna had been a high school English teacher outside Chicago before moving to the area. This past year, she worked as a substitute because of Ben’s condition but hoped for a more permanent placement in the next school year. As she learned I was a pediatric oncology nurse, we both agreed working with other people’s children took a special talent and patience.
After manicures, we go to Rudder’s, a local bar that’s darker and quieter in comparison to the more tourist-popular Driftwoods by the beach. There, Anna tells me more about Chicago—where she grew up, where she previously lived, and what she loved about the big city. She then explains how Lakeside Cottage was her favorite place and where she met Ben.
“He liked to joke he was the lawn boy.” Her parents were the original owners of the sprawling house next door to mine and had a landscaping service handle their yard care. The company was owned by Ben’s father, and Ben worked for his dad as a teenager. Anna and Ben met their senior year of high school. Autumn also previously worked for the family business as an office manager. Upon their father’s death, Autumn moved on to her own business venture.
“Ben had given it all up to follow me to Chicago,” Anna explains. They went to Michigan State University together, but Anna wanted to work closer to her home city. “Ben opened his own landscaping business and started at the roots, as he liked to say. He cut people’s grass at first.” Anna gave me the background on Ben being diagnosed, their decision to sell the business, and move their family to a place they all loved.
“It was a big change, especially for the boys, but Ben wanted to spend his final days in a place he loved more than anywhere. Plus, he wanted the time with our family. We had opposite schedules with my summers off while his summers were the busiest season.”
Eventually, the conversation shifts to me.
“Zack mentioned your husband passed as well. I’m so sorry to learn that. Were you married long?” Anna asks.
I don’t want to lie to her, but the situation is too complicated to explain on a first girls’ night out. “Not long. He was in a similar situation as your husband. Quincy had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.”
“Oh my gosh,” Autumn squeaks, covering her mouth while Anna reaches for my hand, apologizing for my loss.
“I understand.” My response is all-knowing and filled with compassion for Anna’s position. Losing Quincy wasn’t nearly as rough as Anna’s loss of Ben—that long-term, long-lasting kind of love they had—but it doesn’t diminish the fact I had a hole in my heart after Quincy passed away. It almost equaled the loss of Grandpa, almost. Ben had also died young while Quincy was nearly double Ben’s age. “He was older, though, and had lived a long life.”
“Where did you live before Lakeside?”
“Just outside Grand Rapids.” Fondly, I recall living in the second-largest city in Michigan. “When I inherited my house, it seemed like a good time for a change.” I smile again, understanding Anna’s decision to move, even if it happened under difficult circumstances. “Lakeside is turning out to be one of my favorite places as well.”
“I don’t suppose a certain neighbor has anything to do with that.” Autumn wiggles her brows.
“You mean Anna?” I tease.
Anna laughs and adds, “Those men are thick as thieves, but this is girl zone. What’s said here stays here.”
Autumn gives her sister-in-law a skeptical look. “Oh no, I know that look. Do not go into matchmaking mode.”
My eyes widen as I glance back and forth between the two women, and Autumn continues. “Anna hatched a little plan in that smart brain of hers to set me up last summer and—”
“And look where you are now?” Anna squawks. “In love, happily married, and with a baby.”
Autumn blushes. “You wanted to set me up with a different man.”
Anna waves a dismissive hand. “Mason. Logan. Potato, tomato. What’s the difference?” she teases.
Even though I hardly know the men half as well as these women, I could think of a few differences. Autumn quickly defends her husband, ticking attributes off on her fingers. “Oh, I don’t know, Logan’s sweet, funny, and a family man.”
“Well, I don’t need to try to set River up. She’s already with Zack,” Anna explains as if I’m not present. Then she turns to me. “Speaking of family, Zack’s newly divorced, as you know.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Autumn grumbles.
“How do you feel about other people’s children again?” Anna’s teasing me as she already knows I love them but want my own someday.
“Quincy had a few,” I admit, which tips Autumn’s brow. “They are older than me, though.”
“Do you see them?”
“Never. Quincy was not close to his children, unfortunately.”
Anna’s forehead furrows. When you’re a loving, doting parent, it’s hard to comprehend that some parents just are not loving and doting.
“Zack really does love his boys,” she assures me, but I don’t need her to be team Zack. “He’s just had a rough time. He and Jeanine fought often, and in order to avoid confrontation, he worked too much, keeping himself distant from Trevor and Oliver. Those boys were left too often with nannies. But I know in his heart, he could be a good dad.”
“I believe that as well. He’s just . . . lost.”
“They’ve all been in that position,” Autumn interjects. “Well, maybe not Ben. But Logan was like that with Lorna, and Mason is hopeless.”
“Oh, really? What’s Mason’s story?” I ask, just curious as I heard he has a five-year-old daughter he hardly sees.
“It’s a mess,” Anna says, and that seems to be her final answer on the subject.
“Speaking of other people’s children,” Autumn starts once more. Were we speaking of other people’s children again? “Zack’s sons adore you.”
“I adore them.” Slowly, I smile, recalling how yesterday was my day off, and I’d spent another day with Zack and his boys. They played in the tree house for hours before lunch, and then we shared an afternoon of sunshine at the beach.
“Their father adores you, too,” Anna adds softly, and my cheeks heat. “Zack and I have been best friends our entire lives. He’s a good man.” She doesn’t need to sell me on him. I already think he’s dazzling but he’s also a work in progress. And he’s leaving at the end of this week.
“I really like him, too.” I shrug and wave a hand to dismiss the topic. “We’re just having fun.”
“Oh.” Anna’s brows pinch again. “I didn’t think . . . I mean, I wasn’t aware . . .”
“What she’s trying to say is she didn’t know you were okay with him leaving soon. Having a little summer fling.” Autumn wiggles her brows again. “Anna’s only fling was Ben, and then it turned into attending college together, marriage, a mortgage, and kids. You get the picture.”
I did get the picture, and it was a beautiful one. “I’m not really a casual girl, but I do realize Zack lives there, and I live here.” My fingertip draws a line on the table as if a map lays on the wood.
Autumn chuckles. “Oh, sister. I’ve been there, then Logan got on board and moved here.”
“I am not asking Zack to move here.” My tone turns a little offended, but that is the last thing I’d do. Zack would have to make his own decision on whether he thought he’d like us to continue, if we are officially an us, and even then, I wouldn’t want to be the sole reason he moved anywhere. Never again do I want to be in a position where I’m accused of causing a man to make life-altering actions against his will. My heart races with the thought.
Ann
a’s eyes widen. “Why not?”
“Anna,” Autumn mutters, hinting it’s none of their business. Again, I don’t want to lie, but I’m not interested in sharing the truth either.
“I once had a man make a choice with me at the center of that decision. He was a good, kind man, and he gave to me what he gave of his own free will, but I’ve been ridiculed for it. It hurt both me and others, and I don’t want to ever be in that position again.” My voice hardens as I speak, not interested in explaining myself to these lovely women. They might understand, but they might not, and I won’t risk a budding friendship on my sordid past. “I care about Zack and his boys, and I’d never do anything to hurt them,” I add, hoping to soften my tone and clarify my intentions. I didn’t have any other objective than enjoying the moments I have with the three Weller men.
“Men are so confusing,” Anna says. Autumn snorts.
“As if you’d know,” Autumn quips, but then her expression shifts. “Although I know Ben wasn’t perfect.”
“No man is,” Anna admits.
“Thank goodness women are.” I laugh. “And on that note, let’s drink to that.” We raise our glasses and tap the rims before dipping into delicious margaritas.
+ + +
Mason comes to the rescue when we’re a few margaritas in and no longer able to drive home. He drops Autumn at her place and takes Anna and me directly to Anna’s house.
“Zack’s been a pouty-pooper pants all night, so you might as well collect him here,” Mason jokes once he parks Anna’s SUV in the garage.
“Yes, but I live there,” I say, stumbling out of the raised vehicle. “Oops.”
“Well, he’s only going to bribe someone to listen for his boys and sneak over to your place, so it was best to bring you here.”
We aren’t being very stealthy in hiding what’s happening between us. If it wasn’t evident before, the fact I had dinner at the house with the rest of the family and friends on my day off again sealed the deal. Zack didn’t let me move more than a few feet before he’d be at my side, arm around my back, and hand resting on my hip. As if his palm was a puzzle piece made to fit on the curve of my body.
Anna trips on nothing, trying to exit the garage, and bumps into Mason. Surprisingly, he doesn’t exactly catch her as much as stiffen. He allows his chest to be a wall Anna falls against, and she pats him before righting herself. His hands lift as if he’s afraid to touch her.
“I got it,” she mutters when she really doesn’t. Her thin stature had one too many margaritas with the compliment of only chips and guacamole as her dinner. She takes another step forward, and Mason catches her at the waist before she faceplants on the concrete driveway.
Oh, dear.
“I got it,” Anna snaps.
“Clearly, you don’t,” Mason mumbles, scooping Anna into his arms and groaning as if she weighs too much, which is impossible. She’s thin in the I’ve-lost-everything manner of suppressing her appetite. Death has the opposite effect on me. I eat over my grievances. It gets better, I wanted to tell her earlier tonight, but there’s really no way to explain such a thing. Better is relative and personal. We all grieve differently, and there’s no timetable on how long it will take. Anna will never be “over” Ben, but as the song says, her heart will go on, having been better because of Ben. Anna stood beside her husband through a difficult illness, and now she’ll have a year of firsts without him. The road ahead is still long, narrow, and bumpy.
“I miss Ben,” Anna whines, wrapping an arm around Mason’s neck.
“I know, sweetheart,” he says as I follow him to the front door. His tone is tender while strained, and I have a hunch about Mason and his heart.
“River, can you do me a favor?” Mason asks. “Go in and get Zack. See if he can clear out the kids. I don’t want them seeing their mom like this.”
Jeez, that’s sweet. “Sure.”
I fumble with the front door and enter the house. “Zacky, I’m home!” I call out, teasing him with the nickname his friends occasionally use to address him. After crossing the large entryway, I wander to the open concept kitchen and sitting area. This house also has a bar off the kitchen leading outdoors, a formal dining room, a formal living room, a music room, and a den, plus a master suite on the first floor and six bedrooms upstairs. It’s one of the biggest homes I’ve ever been in.
Zack finds me within seconds, having come through the back door off the patio. He rushes me, and his mouth possesses mine, almost knocking me off my already wobbling, freshly pedicured feet.
He hums into my mouth, cupping my jaw, and once he opens his eyes, they sparkle that brilliant silver.
“You taste like tequila and limes.”
“Margarita,” I purr. “She is my best friend.”
Zack chuckles. “Feeling pretty good?”
“The best, but Anna is blitzed, and Mason’s holding her at the front door. He doesn’t want the kids to see her. He asked if you could clear the floor so he can bring her in.”
Zack slips his arm around me like he does and guides us both to the front hall. “No one’s down here, but I’ll play lookout while he brings her inside.”
When Zack opens the front door, Mason’s leaning just off to the side, balancing a sleeping Anna to his chest. We’ve caught him staring down at her, a soft expression etched on his face, and he looks up, startled by the open door as if he expected to stand there all night holding her.
“I should have dumped her ass in a shopping cart and left her at the front step.”
“Animal House?” I laugh, catching the reference.
“She loves those old movies.”
Yay, Anna. Another thing we have in common, and I’m glad as I really want to remain friends, which might be difficult if Zack leaves, and he and I don’t continue. He could return home, meet another woman, marry her, and live happily ever after. I believe in second chances for everything in life, which is another reason I moved here when the house was left to me. I also believe the third times a charm if that’s what it takes for love.
Zack plays the lookout while Mason carries Anna toward the kitchen and then down the hall to the master suite area.
“Should you help him?” I ask.
“More interested in helping myself to you,” he says, leading us out the front door and pressing me against a column near the front steps. His mouth is ravenous. His hands roam. “But I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk,” I tell him although I am buzzed. His mouth against mine is sobering me up, though. Suddenly, we hear the slight patter of rain hitting the overhang to the front entrance.
“We should go to my house.” My fingers walk up the buttons of another button-down shirt. He must own stock in them and have an extensive dry-cleaning bill because they are always freshly pressed. “We could go inside.” It’d be nice to actually use a bed for once with this man.
Zack stiffens and squints in the direction of my dark house. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” He hasn’t been in my house yet. Not all the days he worked on the tree house nor the mornings the boys have spent in it. He hasn’t asked to use the bathroom or helped himself to a cup of coffee. We’re always outside. Even on the occasions we’ve fooled around, we’ve been in the yard.
As his shoulders stiffen even more, he stills my hand on his chest, and I’m suddenly stone-sober.
“I just don’t.” He pulls his gaze from the house and lowers his forehead for mine so I can’t focus on his face. “And you’ve been drinking.”
I pout, and Zack laughs. “Negotiate,” I whisper, not having the energy to question why he won’t enter the house. He pulls back from touching our foreheads.
“How about I make out with you here, taking some liberties with you until the rain stops. Then I’ll walk you home and kiss you good night on your front porch.”
“That doesn’t sound like a good deal, counselor.” I return to playing with the button
on his shirt.
“It’s called compromise.” His voice is low as he speaks. “I’m learning the art of it.”
When he cups my jaw again with both hands, I’m lost. His true talent is kissing me senseless.
19
[Zack]
Anna was certainly suffering a hangover the following morning, and I was worried River might as well. However, she sent me a text in the early hours before her shift.
River: Nothing a little ibuprofen and a lot of water can’t cure, plus some greasy food from the hospital cafeteria.
Strangely, I was jealous of the hospital dining center. I wanted to feed her greasy food. I wanted to take care of her. I almost had a heart attack when she called out, Zacky, I’m home, upon entering Anna’s place last night. I wanted to have her greet me like that every day after a shift. Maybe not the Zacky part, but I’d rush home myself at the end of each day just to greet her the same way. Hell, I’d work from home to be near her and spend more time with my boys. Home. My home in Detroit.
I was also envious River went out with Anna and Autumn, which was completely ridiculous, but I’d missed out on a night with her. Time seemed to be winding down, which reminded me I still hadn’t found my watch, and I kept forgetting to ask River if I left it at her place. I didn’t wear it as much while I was here vacationing, but I’d still put it on several times until I’d misplaced it. At least, I hoped I’d misplaced it versus losing it completely. It was sentimental, even if it was only a gift to myself. It marked the passing of time. The end of putting myself through school and the start of a new career. It was a time when I thought I’d shut the door on my father’s sins. I was ready to move on. Selecting law as a profession was an easy decision. I’d been wronged by my father, who wronged others, and I wanted to make the world right. I wanted justice for those who deserved it and penance for those who didn’t.