Have Yourself a Merry Little Murder

by K. J. Emrick

Second reason - it is also just a small apology for the really large mistake I made in Death Lends a Hand - A Darcy Sweet Cozy Mystery Book 26 where I wrote that Connor was Izzy's son and we all know, of course, that's not true - Connor is Ellen's son and Lilly is Izzy's daughter. Such a silly mistake which has now been rectified.

  Seriously though, I was mortified that such an error managed to get through so many rounds of editing (4). I just don't know how it happened.

  I do hope this special bonus short story makes up for it.

  Enjoy!

  * * *

  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  * * *

  Love from Kathrine (aka K.J.) :-)

  Chapter 1

  Connor Gless threw the mail down on the table as he shut the door to the apartment. Bills, and a circular for a store that didn’t even exist in the state of Minnesota, and a reminder that their ten-year-old car was due for an oil change. Well, the car was already in for service and after a ten-hour shift at the County Clerk’s office, he didn’t even want to think about things like that.

  Locking the door behind him and setting the chain lock in place, he went over to the refrigerator and got out a can of pop. The sound of it opening—snap fizz—was the best thing he’d heard all day. The caffeine hit his system like a sedative and he finally relaxed a little. It had been a very long day. Just one in a long line of long days, actually. His job was nothing special, just something to pay the bills, but he still wished that he had found something a little less… mind numbing. Day in and day out, pushing papers and filling in little blocks on the computer screen, really wasn’t the job he had dreamed of when he was younger.

  He sipped at his soda and thought back to the days when he and Lilly were in high school, when his greatest worries were bullies with issues and his grades and making sure he had time to spend with his creative, amazing girlfriend. Fast forward to now, and they were all grown up. Lilly had found a career that suited her. He had found a career that paid the bills while she lived her dream. That was the way it had to be, at least for now.

  With a heavy sigh he rolled his head around on his shoulders. He pushed a hand through his short, sandy blonde hair and then settled his palm against the nape of his neck. There was a headache starting back there. This wasn’t the adventure he’d been dreaming of when he was younger, to be sure. Well. Adventure could be overrated, he reminded himself. His mother had given up a life as a hired gun to keep him safe and give him a decent life. He figured he was doing the same thing for Lilly. She was his life, and his heart, and she was worth any sort of sacrifice he might have to make.

  He guzzled the rest of his drink and put the empty can in the sink. Life had been a lot easier back in Misty Hollow, before he and Lilly had both moved out here to Milestone, Minnesota. Back there were all of his family and friends. He and Lilly had made new friends out here, of course, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t have a lot of time to hang out with people. It was already after seven tonight as it was, and Lilly still wasn’t home. She wouldn’t be until closer to ten. Some days they never saw each other at all, like two ships passing in the night.

  But they made sure to make the time they did have for each other special.

  That put a smile on his face. He went back to the mail again and started organizing it into things that needed to be paid now, things that needed to be paid by the end of the month, and one that could wait for a while. Maybe.

  He pulled his tie off and dropped it in one of the kitchen chairs and left it there. His shoes he kicked off one at a time on his way to the couch. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t be able to find them again tomorrow. Their apartment wasn’t much bigger than the proverbial postage stamp because even in a place like Milestone—home of the 2016 Ping Pong Champs, population 3,459—it was all they could really afford. This was a suburb of Minneapolis and not the middle of nowhere. Everything had a cost. At least the couch was new, and comfortable.

  Maybe a little too comfortable. Connor had only turned the television on five minutes ago. He hadn’t planned on closing his eyes. His plan had been to stay awake until Lilly got home so they could talk about their day and maybe spend a few minutes enjoying each other’s company before they went to bed. Ever since their wedding there hadn’t been a single day where they didn’t at least say ‘good night’ to each other, even if it was only by text. Tonight he was going to stay up and say it in person, and kiss her soft lips, and tell her how much she meant to him. That was the plan. It was a good plan.

  His snoring woke him up. Or maybe it was the hand on his shoulder. Or the fact that the TV had frozen on a “Are You Still Watching?” message rather than play the next episode from his cloud service. Maybe all of it together.

  When he opened his eyes, he was looking into the most beautiful face he had ever seen in his life. The face was upside down, because Lilly was leaning over the back of the couch behind him, and it sort of made her smile look like a frown.

  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he blurted out. “Honest.”

  Her long dark hair was braided over her right shoulder. She used to dye streaks of color into it, all different colors, based on whatever mood struck her, but recently she’d given that up. It took too long to do properly, was what she’d told him when he asked. Just another part of their youth they’d had to let go. But her eyes were still a mysterious jade, and her smile was still full of secret humor.

  She leaned in further now as she tossed her purple satchel down beside him on the couch. With a kiss on his forehead, she whispered, “I love you, Connor Gless.”

  “Even if I fell asleep?” he said behind a yawn.

  “As long as you wake up when I come home, and maybe rub my feet for a while. Then yes, I will always love you.”

  He bounced on the couch, patting the spot beside him. “Feet rubbing service is open for business. You, my dear, are my one and only customer.”

  “Better be,” she informed him. She stripped off her black socks from under her jeans and jumped into the corner of the couch with her legs swung over onto his lap, wriggling her toes.

  He was constantly jealous of how she got to wear whatever she wanted to work. Conceptual artists for the movie industry weren’t expected to dress up. No ties, no suit coats, no pressed shirts. Just their talent on display for everyone to see. She was wearing an oversized green cable knit sweater today, actually, because winter was just around the corner, but during the summer she went to work in t-shirts.

  She looked gorgeous in that sweater, Connor thought to himself. She looked gorgeous in anything. He was a lucky, lucky man to have married his childhood sweetheart. His best friend, and his biggest fan.

  “So… I have news,” she told him after he had spent a good five minutes tenderly working on the arch of her left foot. She was luxuriating under his magic hands, just waiting for the right moment to bring this up. “And I have a question. Which do you want first?”

  “Is your question how much I love my job?” he asked her, trying to soften the thick sarcasm with a little chuckle. “Because the answer is a little less today than I did yesterday, and probably more than I’m going to like it tomorrow. I swear to you, Lilly, that job is slowly killing me.”

  She hummed appreciatively when he found a knot right up by her big toe, and hooked an arm up behind her head. Connor had been her rock during all the life changes that she’d braved her way through since leaving Misty Hollow. Leaving home, moving halfway across the country, taking on this new job. All of it and more, including marrying the man of her dreams. Connor had never once told her she couldn’t do something. He had just asked her where they were going next and what he could do to help her achieve her dream of being a freelance artist. In her job she got to show off her creativity and her imagination in ways she had never dreamed before. She was paid an okay salary, but with student loans to pay off and a new life to start and a future to plan for, his job was the one that paid the bills.

  And she knew he hated it. Connor was
not the kind of guy who could be happy sitting behind a desk every day. He needed to feel like he was accomplishing things. He needed a job that could help him do something worthwhile. What he needed was… well, the opposite of what he had at the County Clerk’s office.

  “You should look for something else,” she told him, the same way she’d told him a dozen times before. “Lowell told us he’s got a position open in his cleaning service, remember?”

  Connor gave her a look, then went back to massaging between her toes. “Not sure that would be much better.“

  “It would be a change of pace.”

  “My pace is fine, Lilly. Really.”

  She pressed her foot up to his chest, scrunching her toes into his shirt. “Liar.”

  “What?” he asked with a dramatic gasp. “I would never lie to the woman who lets me see her feet naked like this.”

  Lilly giggled. “You’re silly when you’re tired.”

  “I’m silly when I’m around you. I used to be all serious before you came into my life.”

  “Uh-huh. I remember. That’s okay, though. I brought you out of that shell.”

  Her foot traced the line of his collarbone, and then dropped down across his stomach… right back into his hands. She wasn’t done with her massage. Not yet.

  “Give me your other foot,” he asked her, “or we’ll be here all night. Didn’t you say you had some things to tell me?”

  “Mm-hmm,” she murmured, enjoying the feel of his hands on her aching feet. Who knew being an artist would require so much running around? “News or question. Which ya want first, baby?”

  “Uh, let’s have the question first. Then you can tell me all about your day after.”

  “Ok. That sounds good. I’ve got a lot to tell you, believe me, but the question is kind of important.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yeah, kind of.”

  “Then let’s hear it.”

  “Okay. Where’s the car?”

  Chapter 2

  Lilly wished she had started by telling him the news first.

  As soon as she mentioned the car wasn’t where it was supposed to be, he was up off the couch and running to the apartment window to look down on the street. Their third-floor apartment gave them a perfect view of the street. There was alternate side parking down there on Elm Street. The building didn’t have its own parking lot, but they’d never had any trouble using the street.

  Until now.

  “It can’t be gone,” he said, again and again. “No, no, no, it can’t be gone. It can’t be gone.”

  “Connor, it’ll be all right. We’ll figure it out.”

  “Lilly, that car was a loaner from the garage. I don’t think our mechanic’s the forgiving type. You remember what he said about making our next payment? Give it to him on time or maybe something gets broke?”

  She did remember. George Achner was an amazing auto repair guy. He’d kept their old car in working order all this time, but he was not lenient when it came time to pay the bill. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was the only mechanic in town, Connor wouldn’t have let Lilly anywhere near him. He was crude, and he always had strange people hanging around his shop. Connor thought there was something off about him. Lilly thought he was probably right.

  “It was gone when you got home?” he asked Lilly now. “I mean, I drove it here from work, and I parked it right there and now it’s gone, but was it gone when you got home?”

  “Yes, it was. I thought maybe you weren’t even home yet when I saw it wasn’t there.” She’d been taking a taxi back from work for a while now, because with this new movie she was working on she never knew how late she was going to be and they could only afford the one car. “We should call the police.”

  She expected him to agree with her. Instead he said, “Come on. Let’s go.”

  “Go? Go where?”

  He’d already pushed one of his shoes back on, and now he was searching for the other. “We need to get down there and see what happened. Maybe there’s… I don’t know. Maybe there’s clues about what happened. Maybe George came and took the car back and he left us a note.”

  “He loaned us the car to use until ours is fixed, Connor. Why would he take it back?”

  “I’m telling you, there’s something weird about that man.”

  “You think that about everybody.”

  “No. Just the weird ones.” He laced up his other shoe and then took her by her hand. “Come on.”

  She shook her head. She knew what Connor was like when he got in this mood. He was always the serious one between them, like he said, but he’d gotten to be even more so since they moved here. It was as if there were all these pressures weighing down on him now and he didn’t know how to deal with it. His boring job, his dedication to her. He wanted so much more from life and he was giving it all up for her.

  And she loved him more than words could say for it.

  “All right, Connor. Let’s go find our car.”

  Out on the street they saw exactly what Lilly had expected to find. An empty parking space.

  There wasn’t anything to see here except some dry leaves that had fallen from the trees along the street and a few cigarette butts. Connor picked one crumpled cigarette up, then another, sure they were clues. It kind of burst his bubble when she told him they were nothing but… butts.

  “There’s nothing here,” she said to Connor, scanning the curb, and the street, and even the sidewalk.

  “I can see that,” Connor said miserably. He scratched at his forehead, deep in thought. “Maybe if we just…”

  He trailed off, because he had no idea what he’d been about to say. What was wrong with him? When he was in high school he used to be good at mysteries. He used to love solving problems like this. Maybe the problem now he thought to himself, was this wasn’t a mystery. This was a grown-up problem like all of those bills up on his table, and having to report to a job every day that he hated, living with the woman of his dreams and unable to remember what any of those dreams actually were.

  And if he couldn’t solve a simple thing like where his car had gone, then how was he ever going to…

  Standing up again, hand on his neck where that same headache was pounding, Connor found himself facing the apartment building. The front apartment on the first floor was where Mrs. Agatha Fillmore lived. She was always in her window watching the world around her. In fact, there she was right now. She saw Connor watching her, and she closed the curtains tight.

  Connor smiled, and reached out his hand for Lilly. “Hey. Let’s go talk to our neighbor.”

  She could see the excitement in his eyes. He really thought this was the way to solve the problem. Lilly was very sure they should call the police. That’s what her mother would have told her to do. Her cautious, loving mother who was always so worried about her. Lilly loved her mother, but she was a grown-up now. So was Connor. They were married, and so much was changing for them that they were going to have to figure out on their own.

  So she decided to let him have a chance to solve this mystery of their stolen car.

  * * *

  ***

  * * *

  Mrs. Fillmore rocked in her easy chair, after giving them all cups of tea that smelled heavily of cinnamon. Lilly took a long drink of it and wrinkled her nose. It was a bit… strong. She settled the cup on her lap. Connor sipped at his, and sipped again. It took Lilly a long moment to realize he wasn’t actually drinking it. He was just wetting his lips to make it look good.

  “So you want to know if there was anyone strange around tonight, hmm?” Mrs. Fillmore asked them. “Well. There’s lots of crazy people about, don’t you know? See someone crazy every day. See two on Tuesday.”

  She laughed at her own joke. Lilly did, too. It was kind of funny.

  “Who’d you see today, Mrs. Fillmore?” Connor set his cup aside on the living room table. They’d been here for twenty minutes already and this wasn’t the first time he’d asked that question.


  The old woman with her grey curls smiled again. “Well, now. Hard to say. You know an old woman such as myself doesn’t have much to do except look outside. I spend hours and hours on end by myself and it’s hard to remember when things happen without something to break up my day.”

  She stopped rocking and looked at both of them expectantly.

  Lilly’s eyes flashed over to Connor. She could see what was going on here, even if he couldn’t. “You know, Mrs. Fillmore,” she said, “we’ve been looking for someone to join us for a card game on the weekends. I don’t suppose you would be interested? Say, this Saturday?”

  The wrinkles on the woman’s face softened with a genuine grin of delight. “Why, that would be wonderful, dear. That would be simply wonderful. My daughter used to come to play cards with my husband and I all the time before he passed. She’s so busy now. Never comes over and I do so miss her company. I would simply love to spend some time with you. Thank you so much for that invitation. Oh, you wanted to know about today, didn’t you? Perhaps about that odd man who came and took that car away.”

  “Yes!” Connor exclaimed happily. “So you did see someone taking our car.”

  “Your car? Oh my, dear. That wasn’t your car. This one was green and yours is that odd sort of brown.”

  “This one’s a loaner. Ours is in the shop.”

  “Really? But the man used a key to drive the car away. Are you sure it was yours?”

  “Yes,” he answered her, his patience starting to wear out. “It was our car. When did they take it?”

  Mrs. Fillmore pursed her lips, making fine lines deepen around the corners of her mouth. “Oh, it was about an hour ago now, I think. He was an odd gentleman, like I said. Bald, wearing sunglasses at night. What was he thinking? I mean, how could he see? He was smoking a cigarette, too. Smokers. Don’t they know they’re cutting years off their life?”