To Cut a Long Story Short

by Stavros Allanopolis

  Every morning and every evening I look to him as I use the tap.

  “Good morning, Owen. Good night, Owen. Sleep tight.”

  Photo: The Last Photo Of Owen

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. Stavros Learns To Be A Plumber And Mary Jane Arrives

  Bella has learned how to pull and chew the pipes of the watering system, just like MiMi used to do. So, during September, Stavros started to install a new watering system in the gardens of Meerkat Manor.

  His previous attempts used only cheaper agricultural piping, and used plastic to plastic joints. This time he started to use high pressure plastic piping designed for use in the house. Also, for joints, he used metal fittings which are far more robust.

  So far, so good. Bella has stopped chewing the stronger pipe and learned how to dig big holes in the garden around the trees and other shrubs. Just like MiMi did too when she first arrived at Meerkat Manor.

  Oh well. The expression of two steps forward and one step back comes to mind.

  Also comes to mind my trusty expression,

  “Siga, siga. Isos avrio” … “Slowly, slowly. Maybe tomorrow!”

  Notwithstanding, all the new joints were water tight. Stavros had indeed learned how to do plumbing properly.

  It is now week three of September and Mary Jane and Dan have arrived. Stavros met them at the coach station.

  “Hi, y’all” Came Dan’s greeting in his best practised Southern American drawl.

  They soon settled into their apartment in Kardamyli and set about living the life. Their three weeks stay went very quickly and they moved into their apartment that Stavros had found for them in Agios Nikolaos. This was right on the sea road coming out of the village. They loved it!

  During the four weeks total of their stay, they ‘went places’ with Stavros and Valerie who introduced them to some of the tavernas in and around Agios Nikolaos. They love ‘Smokey Joe’s’ the best!

  All too soon they were off back to Ohio. However, on the day they were leaving they made an announcement,

  “We’re coming back next year. We love it so much here that we are coming back to Agios Nikolaos for a month!

  It seems that their Sabbatical has offered them the opportunity to travel and visit many countries and places, but they loved Agios Nikolaos the best. So, they decided that before they return to work at the University again that they would return to The Mani.

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. The Tortoises Are Coming Back

  One of the things that Stavros has noticed during the last three years is that more tortoises are returning to the area. It seems that before the building of more houses started, 20 years or more ago, the region was a safe and quiet home for the tortoise population.

  The following two photos are a ‘first’ for Stavros. He witnessed the mating ‘dance’ and the ‘embrace’ first hand.

  He was walking along a path and heard loud ‘knocking’ like wood on wood, and as he rounded a bend, he saw the two tortoises ahead of him. One was circling the other and periodically ‘jumping’ on the other; shell on shell, making the knocking sound.

  Then after some nose to nose kissing, the two got together to do their bit to increase the local population.

  Photo: After The Circling Came The Nose To Nose Kiss

  Stavros felt so thrilled to witness this mating ceremony. They were so cute, and they seemed to be oblivious to Stavros’ presence.

  Photo: Increasing The Tortoise Population

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. There Is A Greek Word For Poor Craftsmanship – ‘M…….s!’

  One of the features of the living area in the house is the stone fireplace. It is built across the corner of the room; floor to ceiling.

  It has a wide hearth and large wooden mantelpiece. In the summer months we put dry logs in grate and the fireguard in front.

  In the winter months we burn olive tree logs every day. It gives out a strong heat and is very comforting etc.

  During the winter of 2013, I noticed that four of the bricks in the floor of the hearth had raised and would need replacing. I told Nikos the builder and he said he would do it in the summer.

  I kept reminding him throughout the summer. Now here we were in October and he still hadn’t replaced them. So, I called him up and asked him to come to the house. “Tora!” “Now!”

  He arrived with a worker. He told the worker to remove the four bricks and any others that were loose, and he and I went off to Stoupa to buy new firebricks. Whilst we were at the fire maker’s place, we decided to buy enough bricks to replace the whole floor of the hearth as it would probably look better.

  Photo: Stone Fireplace

  When we returned to Meerkat Manor with the bricks and the cement, we were in for a shock. We were expecting to see that the worker had taken out the damaged bricks and readied the hearth for the new ones. What we found was the worker standing in front of the hearth looking into a hole. The hole was 1 metre deep and the full width of the fireplace!

  Photo: Hole In The Floor

  It seems that whilst he was digging up the bricks, the whole floor of the hearth fell away and down into this hole; the foundations!

  For a few moments we were speechless. Then Nikos uttered the immortal word, “M ……..s!” It is not polite, to say the least. It was directed at what had happened and at Giannis the builder. The word has multiple applications and all of them are rude!

  Upon closer examination, Nikos discovered that instead of filling in the cavity beneath the hearth, Giannis had placed wire mesh across the cavity, put a layer of cement over it and built the fireplace on top of it.

  My heart began to sink; that awful feeling when I know that unexpected expense is imminent.

  Nikos declared that the whole fireplace would have to come out, the hole filled and the fireplace rebuilt. Nikos made a ‘phone call to get his men moving and for them to come to Meerkat Manor to put things right.

  Soon three men had arrived with sand, cement and stones. They took the shell of the fireplace out and filled the hole.

  The following day they returned to lay the new floor of the hearth. Whilst they were doing this, Nikos noticed that there were cracks in the side of the fireplace. As he inspected, bricks fell out of these panels.

  My heart began to sink again; once more that awful feeling when I realised that this job was going to be even bigger than expected and even more unexpected and unbudgeted expense was imminent.

  Nikos has a quaint way with English words.

  “Stavros. Me think. In my opinion. We need to buy a new fireplace shell. The stone fire breast should be ok. We can fit the new shell in underneath it and make it good”

  This was Nikos’ considered opinion.

  This seemed to make sense as the interior of the fireplace is usually sold as a ready-made unit (a prefabricated mould of fire bricks in special fireproof cement).

  I replied, “Nikos, treat it as your own house and do what has to be done. Thank you.”

  “Ok. Me think. In my opinion. You and I will need to go to Kalamata to see if we can buy one for the smallest sum of money. The men will make ready the fireplace and surround.” Nikos declared as he walked towards the truck with me following closely behind.

  “Let’s buy one from the man at Stoupa.” I suggested.

  “No. He is too expensive.” Nikos replied as he jumped into the truck.

  Four hours later, we were back in Stoupa ordering the new unit from our local man. The ones we saw in Kalamata were the same price (or more), and not such good quality!

  The unit had to be made to measure and would take a week to be built and to allow the special fire cement to dry properly.

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. There Was A Fund-Raiser To Compere For The Neon Players

  In the week that followed, I ran the fund-raiser.

  The Neon Players’ Christmas production was to be The Calendar Girls. The player
s had decided to be adventurous. Not only in presenting the play but also in producing their own calendar, just like the original play and film of the same story.

  I agreed to help by running a quiz night for them to raise some money to help with the pre-production costs.

  It seems (according to photographic evidence) that a great time was had by all. The Question Master (Stavros no less) was heckled throughout the night. He bravely battled on and managed to raise 200 Euros. A great result by any standard.

  Photo: Participants Captured On Film

  The event was hosted by Gregg’s Plateia. Usually, Gregg and his Mother Freda run the bar but for the event they had the family to help them serve the drinks.

  Nine tables of 4 = 36 people all wanting a drink at the same time!

  Photo: The Family Pose Before The Event Starts

  The photo shows right to left, Gregg, wife Kathy, their two sons and a friend plus Freda at the left.

  Agios Nikolaos would be lost without this thriving bar and the very friendly and accommodating family; nothing is too much trouble.

  Also, since the closure of the Post Office, Freda has the mail delivered (three times per week if we are lucky) to the bar. She sorts it A – Z and puts it on display for the addressee’s to collect.

  Photo: The Mail Sorted And On Display

  Quiz events and mail apart, Gregg’s Plateia is a very popular meeting place. Everybody goes there. They keep a photographic record of some of the more colourful characters who visit to eat and drink and have a good time; day or night.

  Photo: The Wall Of Photos

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. The Fireplace Goes ‘Whoosh!’

  The day before Nikos was due to deliver and install the new fireplace unit, he and the team came to inspect the site and measure up their work in order to decide who would do what and in what order.

  The three of them stood in front of the fireplace; the new hearth, the hole where the previous unit used to be and above them the stone fire breast reaching up to the roof. Valerie and I stood a little way back behind them trying to work out what they were planning to do.

  Nikos told us that they were planning to take the stone fire breast down, one stone at a time, clean the stones, and re-build the fire breast once the new unit had been installed

  As work men do, they were throwing ideas back and forward at each other. In Greek, the volume is higher and the body language more agitated and expressive! As they stood there, one of them leaned against the stone fire breast as he turned to talk to the others.

  Then, suddenly, and without warning ….

  …. ‘Whoosh!

  …. A REALLY BIG WHOOSH!

  The stone fire breast collapsed and came tumbling down; several tons of stone in one movement cascading onto the men and the floor!

  The noise was as if a bomb had gone off in the room; a really deep ‘whoompff’ as it fell and ‘boom’ as the stones hit the floor.

  Valerie and I jumped back.

  For a few moments we were all speechless as we surveyed the scene:

  - One man had a gashed hand

  - Nikos also had been hit on his hand

  - A large stone had fallen on his foot

  - Stones were all over the floor

  - The room was full of dust

  Photo: Just After The Fire Breast Collapsed

  Then Nikos uttered the immortal word again, “M ……..s!”

  Not once but quite a few times in quick succession!

  It was once again directed at what had happened and at Giannis the builder, and uttered with substantial venom!

  Then silence again as everybody considered the situation.

  The silence continued for quite a few minutes, then Nikos said,

  “I’m sorry my friend.”

  “Hey it’s not your fault.” I responded as my heart began to sink yet again. Once more I had that awful feeling where unexpected expense was imminent. This time it was even worse as I could envisage hundreds if not thousands of Euros would be required to put this right.

  “What would you like me to do Stavros?” Nikos enquired.

  “Well, as I said before, please make good as if it was your own house. I trust you.” I was trying to stay positive. It’s hard work staying positive staring at a gaping hole in the room; floor to ceiling.

  They immediately got to work clearing the stones out into the garden and cleaning up the mess.

  “I’ll sweep up the dust and clean the floor when you have gone.” Valerie volunteered to nobody in particular, as she surveyed what looked like a war zone that only minutes before had been her home and comfortable living area.

  By now, it was quite late, so I suggested that they leave it for today and we meet again in the morning to decide what to do.

  Early the following morning, Nikos arrived with the team and said,

  “I’m sorry my friend. This is real ‘M ……..s’. Me think. In my opinion. We should build a new fireplace and do it in a different style and use different stones to make it look better for you.”

  “Hey, it’s not your fault ok. It happens. As I said, do it. But, tell me how much.” I responded as positively as I could.

  “I don’t know how much. But don’t worry, my friend, I’ll do a good job.” This was Nikos’ replying over his shoulder as he set off to order the materials.

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. The Show Had To Go On

  The room was a dreadful mess.

  As the team left, Stavros decided to go and see Christos the Insurance Broker to see if a claim could be made to ease the burden of the cost.

  Stavros explained to Christos what had come to pass the last two weeks, and asked Christos what could be done.

  Christos replied, “Stavros. I am sorry. We cannot even submit a claim for you. This is clearly poor workmanship. There is nothing I can do. Believe me, if I could then I would. I am so sorry.”

  Stavros drove home to Meerkat Manor with a heavy heart. He knew the cost was down to him, but even worse he did not know how much the cost was going to be.

  Over the next few days, the hole in the corner almost became a ‘tourist attraction’ as friends came to look and sympathise. Stavros considered installing a ‘contributions gratefully received’ box at the door!

  As ever, his brother Bill tried to be supportive, but estimating the cost to be “well over 2,000 Euros” he wasn’t really helping the mood of the moment.

  All was not lost! The telephone rang and a familiar voice asked a familiar question,

  “Can you come to work with us in Colmar?”

  Could I? You bet! What a great boost to morale. Here was a chance to get some money to pay for the works, although Stavros still didn’t know what the final cost was going to be!

  “Yes. I’ll be happy to. Please E-mail the details and dates and I will confirm. Thank you for asking me.” Never a truer word was said by Stavros; thanks indeed!

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. Bella and Stavros Got Too Close For Comfort

  The day before work on the new fireplace was due to start Stavros was playing with Bella in the garden. They were running around chasing each other, playing ‘tug of war’ with a rope, and chasing a ball. Quite normal practice, and fun for both. MiMi just watched from the side lines.

  One minute fun and laughter and excited ‘woofs’ (more, more), then the next it was a disaster zone.

  It was a ‘drop ball’ situation. Both Stavros and Bella went for the ball at the same time. Stavros from the right and moving to his left, and Bella from her right and moving to her left.

  Stavros was just a bit too quick for Bella, but as he moved away she arrived with her mouth open going for the ball. With her mouth open, her large tooth cut across Stavros’ right wrist. For Stavros, it felt like a saw passing across his wrist!

  As Bella stopped and turned around realising she had missed the ball she looked back to Stavros. He was two metres away and standi
ng staring down at his torn wrist.

  “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” He exclaimed as the pain eventually registered. As he looked, he observed a very deep gash and about 5 centimetres across.

  Poor Bella, she knew something was wrong, but not what.

  “It’s not your fault Bella.” Stavros uttered through gritted teeth.

  The pain was intense, but the wound was not bleeding; just a gaping hole in the arm.

  Stavros called out “Valerie! I’m on my way to the medical centre.”

  Valerie came out to survey the scene. There was Stavros holding his arm close to his chest and Bella sitting by his feet.

  She quickly assessed what had happened, went inside the house and a moment later came out with a clean towel and wrapped it around Stavros’ wrist.

  “Don’t forget to get a Tetanus injection” She said. “Go now. Go.”

  TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT ….

  …. Stavros Lived To Tell The Tale

  It was ‘touch and go’ but Stavros did survive the trauma.

  The Medical Centre staff were excellent. They cleaned the wound and explained that as the wound was inflicted by an animal they would not be able to insert stitches in order to safeguard against infection.

  A Tetanus injection was required plus a course of Anti-biotic. Also, a daily visit for inspection and to change the dressing.

  “This wound is very deep and needs to be kept dry at all times. Get a cover for your arm when you are in the shower. Also keep it in a sling for as much of the day as possible for the next two weeks. It is possible that nerve endings and two tendons have been damaged. You need to be careful if you are to keep full use of your hand.” The Doctor was very helpful with the practical advice.

  “How long to heal do you estimate?” Stavros asked the Doctor.

  “Probably 10 weeks.” Came the reply.

  Skipping forward in time for the purpose of the comment, almost to the day, 10 weeks later Stavros can report that the scar had formed hard and the redness subsided. There is still some soreness and he doesn’t have as much strength in the grip between thumb and forefinger as before. However, to all intents and purposes Stavros has made a full recovery.