Scotia's Grave

by T L Harty

  The drive to school signified a turning point in my attitude. Yes, there would be the return of the ring and other unfortunate occasions this school year, but this marked the first time I felt as though I was driving toward something…and it felt like a new start.

  Royce Hall hadn’t changed much over the summer. The musty smell wafted through the halls, but a few open windows would take care of that. My room appeared just as I left it. The bed and desk were the two pieces of furniture in the room.

  It took seven trips to get everything up to my room. I should have probably taken eight or nine, but that would have required patience I didn’t possess. I looked at Rick’s door, wondering when he planned to arrive. I staged the ring on my desk so I could give it back to him, first thing.

  The first couple days of school were quiet, but I utilized my recently acquired social skills, and already had weekend plans to attend a frat party with some new acquaintances.

  When the night of the party arrived, I spent time getting ready in my room. A small tap at my door interrupted my primping.

  “Hey, Muriel, are you ready?” asked a giggling girl from my biology class.

  “Give me 10 more minutes. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

  I wanted the person on the other side of the door to be Rick. Either way, I’m sure he wouldn’t miss the first big party of the school year. Opening a desk drawer, I slid the ring box inside, not wanting to appear too eager to return it.

  One last mirror inspection brought a smile to my face. The money I made at Marine World over the summer had helped me afford some new clothes and fancy makeup.

  When I got to the parking lot, a small crowd of people had started a pre-party, where I joined the drinking festivities. After fifteen minutes, not one of us remained sober enough to drive, so we set off on a walk to the frat house. We amused ourselves with song, study tips and ridiculous information the entire walk.

  After arriving at the party, we had a great time dancing, drinking and making fools of ourselves in one way or another. An hour had passed at the party and my mind fixated on Rick. I needed to see him. Where had he been during this first week of school?

  People spoke about another frat party down the street, so off I went, in search of Rick. No luck at the other party either. I ran into Greg, saying goodnight to some friends of his and I raised my hand to get his attention, as though I was in class.

  “We can talk outside, Muriel,” Greg suggested. He must have concluded that alcohol had been a big part of my diet this evening and didn’t know what to expect. “It’s good to see you again,” he said, as sweet as ever. “What can I do for you?”

  There’s nothing worse than an inebriated person trying to appear sober and damn it if that wasn’t me at the moment.

  “So,” I slurred, “do you know what’s up with Rick? I have something that I need to return to him.”

  “He still isn’t ready to see you, Muriel. As far as I know, he’s in Vermont at his parent’s house. He doesn’t know if he’ll come back here.”

  I blinked a lot and looked inquisitively at Greg.

  “Well, I can’t leave you out here. Let me walk you home.”

  Greg, ever the gentleman, returned me safely to my dorm.

  When I finally laid my head on my pillow, the room spun. I got up, stumbling to the desk to retrieve the ring. Such a beautiful piece of jewelry. The feeling of unworthiness gnawed at me and sobs came out of nowhere.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed to stabilize myself, I continued to weep. If the truth came out of a bottle, then did I care for Rick? Or could this be a simple case of ingesting too much alcohol? I snapped the box shut that contained the ring and threw it. The size of my room made the gesture much less dramatic than I hoped, which brought on howls of laughter. My night came to an end shortly after the laughter ended.

  As the next few days passed, there were times I took Rick’s ring out and fondly thought of him. Parts of me longed to be in his company. One lonely night, I slipped the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly, which left me wondering how he managed that.

  Rifling through some papers, I searched for Rick’s address in Vermont. I needed to see him. My bank account held enough money to get a round-trip plane ticket to St Johnsbury (located a few miles south of his home). The ticket agent on the phone said that the fares were the lowest she had seen for an overnight trip and if I didn’t book the flight, they might go up. I planned on saying my piece to Rick and then returning to the airport to catch the red-eye flight back.

  A quick call to Dad informed him that I wouldn’t be coming home on Friday. He shared his plans for the weekend, while I deftly avoided talking about mine. He would never approve.

  I loaded up my small backpack with a couple of things: deodorant for the nerves, a Walkman to soothe my soul with music, a pair of extra underwear as an ode to my Grammy, and Rick’s ring. The bag was too light, so I added a couple of notebooks and pens. Maybe scribbling out what I wanted to say to Rick when I saw him would be a good idea.

  When I arrived at the airport, my flight on the board read delayed. Because I lacked flying experience, I asked the boarding agent what that meant. She pointed to the new time of departure on the flight number behind her desk. She then got on the intercom to announce the flight to St. Johnsburg would be delayed one to two hours for mechanical issues.

  I took a seat, wondering what this would mean for my plans. The original flight would have arrived in Vermont around 6 or 7 p.m., but now it would be closer to 9p.m. I sat out the delay listening to music and taking trips to the water fountain.

  When boarding instructions were finally announced, they said we should be touching down in Vermont around 8:30pm. The time frame could still work because I didn’t need to be back at the airport until 2am.

  The flight was uneventful, with a short layover in Denver. As we started our decent into Vermont, I questioned how Rick would react to seeing me. Once I played out the worst possible scenario in my head, (Rick telling me to go to hell and demanding that I leave), a feeling of calm came over me.

  That calm demeanor, however, quickly left me as I traveled to Rick’s house in a cab. It was dark out already, nearing 9pm, and I always dreaded arriving at a new place in the dark. To add to my misery, a light rain began to fall.

  “Here you are Miss,” the cab driver said.

  “Thanks. Do you know if there’s a 7-11 or something like that around here? I’ll need to use a pay phone to call another cab later.”

  “There’s a gas station three blocks that way,” the driver said, pointing down the street we were on. He handed back the piece of paper I had given him with Rick’s address.

  After thanking him and paying for his services, I got out of the cab. A smattering of random street lights lit the road in spots. Rick’s house had a high, sloping front yard that made it impossible for me to see the house and vice versa. Near a stairway, that I assumed led to the pathway to the front door, stood a mail box with his house number on it.

  All bravery left me even though I had come this far. The rain continued to fall and the information on the piece of paper I gripped soon washed away. Maybe the flight delay…this rain…the pit in my stomach, were all signs that I should turn around and go home. If only I believed in that crap!

  “Muriel?” His voice cut through the night.

  I turned around to see him standing by the stairway.

  “My neighbors called because they saw someone pacing in front of our house.” Rick pointed across the street. The neighbor in the window waved at Rick- he waved back.

  The rain and dim lighting made my blushing cheeks impossible to notice.

  “My parents have friends over. Would you like to come in?”

  “No. Thank you.”

  “That’s probably best, anyway. My mom kinda hates you.”

  “I can understand that,” I said.

  “C’mon, we can talk in the back yard.”

  I followed Rick up the stairway. The front of his
house had a huge glass window. Some people inside squinted, trying to figure out what interrupted their evening. Rick veered off the path to the left, taking me to an immense backyard.

  A side door opened and someone asked Rick if everything was OK. He answered affirmatively. I assumed his father asked the question. Rick brought me to the very back of the property, not wanting to be disturbed. We stopped under large trees that protected us from some of the rainfall. The fact that Rick would spend time with me in the rain, after everything I’d put him through, meant a great deal.

  We stood in darkness, but could see each other. We stood there for a while until I remembered why I came. I grabbed the ring box out of my backpack and held it out to Rick.

  He shook his head. “You came all this way…,” he trailed off. Even at the aquarium, a couple of months ago, his expression wasn’t this pained.

  “No, you don’t understand. Please, take it,” I said.

  “Go back to California,” he said, starting to walk toward the house.

  I grabbed his arm, losing my balance and falling on the grass. “Rick, please!” I begged.

  He helped me up. We were both soaked through by this time, the water dripping off us no longer a concern.

  I extended the box in his direction once more until he took it. Even through the light rain, his tears were visible.

  “Open it,” I said. He shook his head. “Please. Open it, so you’ll understand.”

  He didn’t want to, but, as if heeding my instructions, he opened the box.

  “Muriel, I don’t understand, this isn’t the ring I gave you.”

  “No, that’s the ring I’m giving you.” Now, my eyes became misty.

  He still appeared unconvinced. He grabbed my left hand and saw the ring that was the original inhabitant of the box. I smiled. He looked at me, wondering if that meant what he thought. I nodded, grinning.

  Rick snapped the box closed, dropping it in the grass. His body and mouth were pressed against mine in no time. The rain and the fact that we were outside wouldn’t be a deterrent for Rick. He’d have me now and I would not resist.

  He grabbed my hair, pulling it back just enough to expose my neck. His kisses started there because he knew what drove me crazy. I lifted his shirt up and over his head, and then shed my windbreaker. My t-shirt and jeans clung to my body from the weight of the water, but Rick determinedly removed them with ease.

  The rain continued to fall…a late summer, soft rain that wasn’t cold enough to shock our naked skin. We rolled around in the grass until the beams from a flashlight alerted us to someone approaching. We grabbed our clothing and the backpack, running behind a potting shed to hide.

  “I swore I heard some animals back here.”

  Rick and I looked at each other, eyes wide, trying to hold back laughter. He kissed me unexpectedly…a long, passionate kiss. Our mouths the only thing touching, but the sensation of the kiss traveled throughout my body.

  The voices moved back toward the house as Rick and I now stared at each other in silence. Maybe we were animals.

  “Can you give me a ride to the airport?” I asked, as I put on the windbreaker and struggled to get in my wet jeans. “I need to catch my flight back.”

  “You can’t leave me already.”

  “You’ll be back at school soon enough.”

  He kissed me again.

  “Well, you can’t get in my car with your clothes sopping wet.”

  He grabbed my hand, leading me to the garage. He opened his car trunk, retrieving a t-shirt from what looked to be his gym bag. He gathered my clothes, loaded them in the dryer and set the timer for a half hour.

  I spent the next half hour trying to fend Rick off, while I wore a long t-shirt and nothing else. His parents were not going to catch us fooling around in their garage! After he sufficiently felt defeated, we had a few minutes of serious conversation.

  “So, wearing this ring means you’ll marry me?” He held my bejeweled hand in his.

  I nodded.

  “No one is going to like this. They’ll tell us we’re too young,” Rick continued.

  I shrugged.

  “This is a first. No comment? No snide remark or sarcastic jab?”

  “No,” I said. “It feels right.”

  “You feel right,” he said, as he caressed my butt under the t-shirt.

  We didn’t come to the throes of passion, but we got close. The timer buzzed on the dryer, reminding us where we were. The clothes were dry, except for the jeans, which still maintained too much moisture. The flight home would be made in swampy jeans.

  Rick pulled up to the airport a little after midnight.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, too.”

  Grabbing the backpack, I exited the car and waved when I got to the sliding glass doors at one of the entrances to the airport. I dozed off before the flight.

  Once on the plane, right before falling asleep again, I ran my fingers through my hair, finding a blade of grass. I brought it to my nose, inhaling all the memories of the evening.

  Chapter 20- Searching

  The days and nights after Deidra left were spent in turmoil. The mother in me worried, but often became angry at the same time. Nights were spent sleeplessly tossing around in bed. Mornings and afternoons were tired, moody affairs.

  I lost my appetite, interacted with others on a minimal basis and tried relentlessly to pull up Deidra in a vision. Every attempt deemed unsuccessful. A snapshot or a sliver of her in a vision would suffice, but nothing came.

  My body wouldn’t tolerate much more of this abuse. Averaging four hours of sleep had started to take a toll. One night, I tried to eradicate dark circles under my eyes with make-up remover until I realized I hadn’t worn mascara or eyeliner for days.

  A couple weeks after Deidra’s departure, my body surrendered and I slept for twelve hours straight. When I woke up, my appetite returned. Once showered and dressed, I traveled down in the elevator to the first floor of my quarters. After saying good morning to the guard, who seemed surprised that I acknowledged his presence, I bee-lined straight for the fridge.

  Nuts, cheeses, berries, breads…all placed on the table. I grabbed sparkling water, a couple of plates, silverware and cups for the feast.

  “Please,” I motioned, “come eat with me.”

  The guard complied with my request, even though I remember Sean would not. Once seated, the daily question was asked, same as every morning: Is there any news of Deidra? He shook his head no.

  I didn’t expect to hear from her until she decided to grace us with her presence. Such an intelligent young girl. Even though Deidra infuriated me, a misplaced sense of pride often surfaced.

  “So, what is your name? I apologize for not remembering.”

  “Colum, your highness.”

  His name may have slipped my mind, but his physique had not. There had been dreams over the last week, as though I’d been wracked with fever. Wild, crazy dreams in which Colum and many of the other guards were present. Pictures of Douglas, Jed and Rick also mingled in a mess of recollection.

  My subconscious engaged in notions that my waking hours didn’t consider. A good night sleep had awakened hormones that lay dormant ever since Bruce had left. I quietly ate the food, secretly embarrassed by my dreams and thoughts.

  Eating in my quarters accomplished two things: negated any unwanted socializing and fueled my exhausted frame. The council wouldn’t postpone convening any longer and the meeting was scheduled for noon today, with or without their queen. I wanted nothing more than to get outside, breathing in the fresh air. Maybe it would give me distance from my sorrow and pain…clear my head.

  I walked out to the lake, seeing that a small dock had been erected on the furthest shore. A quiet conversation began behind me, but I recognized it as a shift change and had become oblivious to the guards schedules or attendance at my side. I walked around the lake, toward the structure, the conversation becoming distant.

 
; At the end of the dock, I removed my shoes, took a seat and placed my feet in the water. The sun touched my cheeks as I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. At that moment, I saw Deidra’s face. My eyes remained closed, but the excitement of the vision made me tense, raising my feet slightly out of the water. Deidra started to fade. Becoming distraught, my feet dipped deeper in the water and her face soon included her neck and hair.

  The water! I went feet first into the lake, grabbing onto the plants at the bottom of the lake to stay under, while inching my way toward the middle. Deidra was now full-bodied, walking away from me and motioning for me to keep coming toward her. I concentrated on her beautiful face, not wanting to ever forget the picture.

  A man swam above me in the lake as I clung to the fauna. I shoved the grabbing hands away, still concentrating on Deidra, still moving forward. After a couple of attempts, his strength overcame me and I felt myself rising upwards. I watched the vision of my beautiful daughter shrink. A body became limbless; a limbless body became only a head…then a face…haunting eyes… nothing.

  When my rescuer and I broke the surface, I pushed him away as he sputtered, trying to catch his breath. We were in the middle of the lake and I found it odd that Macy and Clio arrived at the edge of the lake in such a short span of time. All the guards were there, soaked, chests rising and falling. My shoes were still on the dock, so I swam in that direction. The guard followed, dutifully.

  Almost at the edge of the shoreline, I slipped, falling backward into the guard’s arms. Liam’s arms. My anger immediately subsided when I looked at him, the oddest smile crossing his lips. Once righted, I retrieved my shoes on the dock.

  I rounded the lake, walking past the recovering guards and went over to where Clio and Macy stood.

  “Liam, you can return to the others for a minute,” Macy said. Then she turned her attention toward me. “So, did you enjoy your swim?”