Our son.
And yes, if I could do the night of the ball over again, I would. Only this time, I’d tell her the truth. I would give her the choice of deciding if she wanted to have sex with me, knowing full well who I was.
But it was too late for that.
As for the billion-dollar question: how was I planning to balance two kids with different mothers while playing hockey? It had been difficult enough as it was balancing Livi and my career. Now I had to balance two kids in two separate homes, a girlfriend, and my career.
The universe’s take on this?
It was having a great laugh at my expense.
Couldn’t say I blamed it.
But that was why I was here.
Looking at engagement rings.
Proposing was the right thing to do.
A way to tell the universe it was mistaken.
And with my plans to go big with the proposal, all the universe could do was pat me on the shoulder and give me its blessing.
It was romantic—and I had those dumb chick flicks to thank for that.
41
Logan
“And the next item up for auction is a date with San Francisco Rock forward, Elias Lawson,” I announced into the microphone to the sold-out audience in the hotel conference room.
Bright stage lights shone down on Eli and me as he strutted across the stage like it was a catwalk, and he was a Calvin Klein model in a suit. Cheers and hoots followed his every move, and I explained what the date would entail.
The women began entering bids on the app that Wes Chiasson had designed for the event. The man was a programming genius.
Eli walked to where I was standing and flashed the audience what Kiera had described as his smoldering look.
I had no idea what that meant.
“The date will include a delightful dinner at Bonterra Ristorante for two,” I said. Nowhere on the card did it mention the part about attending a wedding with him.
As desperate as he was to find someone to fill the role of fake girlfriend, he’d finally conceded I was right about waiting to ask the winner if she’d do it. There was no point in asking someone to do it if he couldn’t stand being in the same room with them for more than five minutes.
That would be one helluva disastrous wedding date.
We gave everyone a chance to bid on the prize, and I moved on to the next item.
Once I’d finished introducing the items in the auction, we waited while Wes determined the winners. Waiters handed out the desserts in the meantime.
Kiera was talking to an older woman when I approached.
“Logan, this is Kristina Lugwig,” Kiera said. “She works with family services and will be helping to distribute the box sets.”
The woman shook my hand. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate the work you and Kiera have done on this. It will make a big difference for many of the kids when it comes to literacy.”
I wrapped my arm around Kiera’s waist. “This project was all Kiera’s idea. I was just her helper.”
Beaming at my girlfriend, I kissed her temple. She really was something. The work she had done to make the event a success was tremendous. And it wasn’t just tonight’s event.
She’d been working hard, figuring out how to help increase the reading skills of the kids who might otherwise lack the necessary resources.
The woman was relentless when it came to something she was passionate about. But that came as no surprise. She’d been that way in college, too.
We chatted with Kristina for several more minutes. The entire time, the box with the engagement ring weighed heavily in my pocket.
The grand gesture?
Don’t worry, it was coming shortly.
Not much longer and I’d be able to breathe again.
I kissed Kiera, doing my best to keep things PG-rated. “You did it. From what I can tell, you exceeded your expectations.”
She smiled sweetly at me, her excitement vibrating off her in waves. “It might not be the same as winning the Stanley Cup, but I’m thrilled with the outcome.”
“I think this is bigger than winning the Cup.” Although I was confident my teammates and the coaching staff would’ve disagreed with me. “What you’ve accomplished will make a huge difference in the lives of a lot of kids.”
“Thank you.” She returned my kiss.
“Kiera, Logan?” Hannah said behind me. “Wes is ready with the winners’ names.”
She handed me the list of the items and the winning bids.
Out of curiosity, I flipped to the page where the date with Eli was listed. “Holy shit.”
“What?” Kiera asked, looking over my shoulder.
I showed her the winning bid, and she whistled. “That’s a lot of money.” She scanned the room. “I wonder who the lucky woman is.”
“Nala? Isn’t that Simba’s girlfriend in the Lion King?”
She snorted a laugh. “Yes, but I somehow don’t think a lion bid in the silent auction.”
“I guess we’ll find out who she is soon enough.” I walked onstage to the mic. “Before I announce the auction winners, I’d first like to ask the event organizer to join me.” I held my hand out to Kiera, and her cheeks reddened.
She looked goddamn adorable, but now wasn’t the time to tell her that.
At the thought of what I was about to do soon, my palms grew clammy. I slipped my hand into my pocket to make sure the ring box was still there.
During the playoffs, each game I’d played had been more important than the last, yet somehow the momentary case of nerves I’d felt then was nothing compared to now.
Applause filled the room as Kiera walked to me, and she gave a shy wave.
I handed her the mic. Her responding grin was wobbly.
“Thank you, everyone,” she said, “for coming out and supporting the fundraiser. The money will ensure that foster kids of lower-income families have access to the series of books that are so gripping, kids can’t help but want to read them. And as you know, the love of reading is key to learning and having opportunities that might not otherwise be possible. Thanks to your generosity, we’ve raised thirty thousand dollars, which will go to the Reading for Tomorrow Literacy Program.” Kiera had recently decided that if the auction were a success, she would extend the program to all families who otherwise couldn’t afford kids’ books. It looked as though that would be the case now.
The crowded room broke out in cheers, and she practically thrust the mic at me as if it had turned to lava.
“Don’t go anywhere,” I told her.
Confusion flickered on her face, but she did as I asked.
Like with her joining me onstage, this, too, hadn’t been part of her plan.
I started announcing the auction winners.
“And the winner of the date with Elias Lawson,” I said as I reached the end of the list. I gave a dramatic pause. “With the winning bid of one thousand and twenty-nine dollars…Nala Johnson from table nineteen.”
Applause rose throughout the room, but it was the cheers from one table that outshone everyone else.
All the women at the table were high-fiving and laughing.
All the women except for one.
The pretty Black woman with shoulder-length, curly hair looked stunned.
Not the Wow-I-really-won? kind of stunned. This was more of a Hell-what-just-happened? stunned.
Her three friends—in their late twenties to early thirties—nudged her forward. She looked at them and vehemently shook her head. They began quietly arguing among themselves.
Eli sat at a table near the front of the stage with our teammates who contributed to the auction. A mix of emotions—relief, curiosity, nervousness—flickered on his face, noticed only by me because I was looking in his direction.
The redhead at Nala’s table stood up. “She’s coming.” Grabbing hold of Nala’s wrist, she dragged her reluctant friend to her feet and tugged her to where the winners were supposed to p
ay for their prizes.
I exchanged glances with Kiera. She just shrugged. “I should probably make sure she really does want the date in case we have to award it to the next highest bid.”
She turned to leave the stage.
I wrapped my fingers around her wrist. “Don’t go anywhere yet.” I lifted the microphone to my mouth and looked out at the audience. “Not only—” I started to say, the words sounding like they’d just marched through the Sierra Desert. I cleared my throat. “Not only is this beautiful woman the organizer of today’s fundraiser, she’s the mother-to-be of my son.” I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and dropped to one knee.
It was time the world found out I was going to be a father again. And I wanted to make sure Kiera knew how much I loved my son even though he hadn’t been planned.
She already questioned our relationship due to my stupid lie the night he was conceived, so I wanted to make sure she knew how excited I was that he would be part of our future.
Kiera’s eyes widened, and she paled.
“She’s not carrying your son,” a woman yelled out. “That’s my grandson she’s carrying.”
All eyes turned to the woman.
Judith. Stephen’s mother.
Who—if her expression was any indication—hadn’t heard the news yet about who was the true father of Kiera’s baby.
Fuck.
42
Kiera
Why is it every time you want to disappear into a hole, there’s never one handy?
It doesn’t matter how much you will for it to happen; the universe just laughs at you.
Only in this case, I wasn’t sure what exactly it was laughing at: the part where I kept putting off telling Stephen’s parents the truth, or the part where Logan had been about to propose to me.
I assumed that was what the ring box was for, and why he’d gotten down on one knee.
In front of everyone.
There was also a chance I was wrong. We hadn’t even discussed getting married. He’d only recently discovered I was pregnant with his child—that the baby was his, not Stephen’s. He was still dealing with that shock.
We both were.
And while I might’ve been in love with him, he had never given any indication he felt the same way about me.
Okay, I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. I hadn’t said it to him either. But I had an excuse. I was still struggling with how he’d withheld the truth about his identity at the ball.
I watched in horror as my mother-in-law made her way from where she’d been sitting with Mom, past the jungle of tables, toward the stage. My mind was working a mile a minute to come up with an explanation for why I’d lied to her.
Try telling her the truth. Like you should have done to begin with.
It was time I pulled up the big girl maternity panties. My parents had eventually understood why I had lied to them about Stephen being Love Bug’s father. They eventually forgave me for being less than honest.
Hannah and Emma had been the opposite. Both women had understood right from the start, more than anyone, why I had lied. Both were also thrilled that Logan was Love Bug’s biological father.
But I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the same for Judith.
It suddenly dawned on me that the universe hadn’t been laughing at me after all.
It had been throwing me a bone.
I’d never believed that being proposed to in public was romantic. Having strangers stare at you, waiting for your reply, felt intrusive. And what if you weren’t in the same place in the relationship as the individual proposing? What if you didn’t love them the way they loved you?
Look at those men who propose on Jumbotrons while at a sports game, and their girlfriends said no. The video goes viral, and everyone who sees you on the street knows of your humiliation.
Proposals in front of a bunch of strangers were best reserved for movies.
So yes, Judith might’ve been distraught—but she’d just saved me from saying “no” to Logan in front of everyone.
I could have hugged her for her brilliant timing.
Although something told me that hugs were now off the table.
“Why are you lying about who’s really the father of Kiera’s baby?” Her voice was soft, her glare sharp like a knife dipped in lime juice.
Ouch.
Several people at a nearby table watched us, their interest no doubt piqued because of Logan’s celebrity status.
Oh, who was I kidding? The entire freaking room was watching us, stunned into silence. Peering at us like we were an accident on the highway you couldn’t look away from.
I didn’t know what to say.
And that’s what you get for lying to her.
Judith glanced around us, seeing all the curious faces staring at us.
She removed a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to me. “This is our new address. Come over after you’re finished here.”
My mouth didn’t even have time to flop open before she marched away, heading for the exit.
And leaving me to face the man who was about to propose to me.
It was too bad What to Expect When You’re Expecting didn’t cover situations like this.
At least I assumed it didn’t. I hadn’t exactly read the book from cover to cover yet.
I looked briefly at the piece of paper and sighed that sound you made when you had just dodged a bullet, but plenty of others were headed your way.
“I should go see what’s going on with Eli’s reluctant winner,” I told Logan. Nala was standing with her friend next to Wes, looking all shades of uncomfortable. Her redheaded friend appeared to be paying for the date while chatting amicably with Wes. “I have a feeling he’s going to have a hard time convincing her to be his fake girlfriend for his cousin’s wedding. He might have an easier time convincing her friend.”
“You might be right about that,” Logan said, chuckling. He turned to me. “About what happened on the stage—”
I was kind of hoping he had forgotten about that.
“You mean that part where you held out a ring box and got down on one knee? How about we pretend that didn’t happen?”
Sounded like a plan to me.
That expression on his face?
I would have felt better if it looked like I had just kicked his puppy (if he had one). Instead, it was free of emotion.
“Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?” he asked, tone even and unreadable.
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yep, that sounds exactly like what I’m saying.”
“But we’re having a baby together, Kiera. Don’t you want us to be a family? A family living in the same house?”
And that was when I got it—what was really the problem.
If it wasn’t for Love Bug, Logan and I wouldn’t be together. He wasn’t looking for a serious girlfriend until he’d finished playing in the NHL. He didn’t live with Livi full time, and I knew how hard that was for him.
I smiled with what I hoped was a reassuring grin. “We’ll still be a family, and you’re welcome to live with us for as long as you want, so you can spend as much time with your son as possible. I would never deny you that.”
He frowned. “You mean like a roommate?”
No, like a boyfriend, the man I love. “Yes, like a roommate. With benefits.” I danced my eyebrows.
He still looked confused, so I spelled it out for him. “When I marry again—if I marry again—it won’t be because someone got me pregnant. I’m not interested in getting married because the condom failed. That’s no way to begin a marriage. If I marry again, it will be because I love him and he loves me. It will be with someone who is not only there for my son, he’s there for me.”
I wouldn’t be a distant third place like I would be with Logan. I wouldn’t come way down the line after hockey, Livi, and Love Bug.
I smiled at him, assured that I had addressed his fears, and walked away.
43
&
nbsp; Logan
“When I marry again—if I marry again—it won’t be because someone got me pregnant. It will be because I love him and he loves me. It will be with someone who is not only there for my son, he’s there for me.”
Kiera’s words replayed in my head as we drove to Judith and Joe’s new home.
You’re probably screaming at me to just tell her that I love her.
But telling her that after everything that had happened tonight would have sounded like an afterthought, a moment of panic.
And that was the last thing I wanted Kiera to think.
I had a better strategy in mind.
One I hoped to hell would work better than how I’d fucked things up with the proposal. Maybe things would have gone better if I’d arranged that musical number. And perhaps relying on my memory of the romantic comedies I’d seen a while ago hadn’t been a bright idea, either.
What did I need to do?
Spend the next few months with her re-getting to know me, becoming her close friend again, being her lover, doing all the little things to show her that I loved her, to show her we were perfect together.
And I needed to have her fall in love with me.
Because in case you were too distracted by Lawson wiggling his ass onstage, Kiera still hadn’t said anything about being in love with me. I did realize, though, that I hadn’t said those words either.
Don’t worry, I planned to eventually tell her I loved her. But first, I needed to regain her trust. I had fucked up badly the night of the ball.
I wasn’t making that mistake again.
Especially since Stacy had made it clear that my ass was on the line if I hurt Kiera one more time.
And I took my ex-wife’s threats very seriously.
The last thing I needed was to end up with chocolate pudding loaded with hot sauce.
Yep, that did happen once during our marriage.
“You don’t need to come in with me,” Kiera said after I’d parked on the street in front of Judith and Joe’s Victorian-style house.
Decidedly with Luck (By The Bay Book 6) Page 29