“I’m not letting you face them on your own. This is very much my fault.”
She flashed me a You-have-a-point-there smirk.
“I swear that’s the last time I lie.” Of course, anyone could make empty promises, which was why I would be spending the next several months proving that I deserved more than a second chance with Kiera.
But ultimately, the decision was all hers.
Unfortunately, history was a pain in the ass when it came to my life. I’d screwed up in so many ways, and Kiera knew it.
Stacy hadn’t enjoyed being the wife of an NHL hockey player. There was a good chance Kiera would feel the same way and not want our relationship to go beyond our current roommate status. She might not want to risk being with a man who could be traded at any moment.
And if that were true, I had no idea what I would do.
If I wanted to keep her, my only option would be giving up the career I loved.
The only career that I knew.
We walked up the porch steps to the front door. Kiera rubbed her palms against the cotton fabric of her floral dress. I slipped my fingers between hers, letting her know she didn’t have to go this alone. I would do anything to protect her.
Kiera didn’t say anything or look at me, but her shoulders relaxed slightly at my touch.
I took that as a positive sign.
I rang the doorbell. A moment later, the door swung opened, revealing Judith, her tear-stained face pale.
Her gaze dropped to our joined hands.
Kiera pulled hers away from mine, and I suddenly felt naked, uncertain.
And for the hundredth time since discovering her baby was mine and not Stephen’s, I mentally cursed myself for not telling her the truth the night we hooked up.
Judith gestured for us to enter.
Joe stepped into the foyer, looking fifty years older. Unlike his wife, he managed a hesitant smile. “Thank you for coming. Judith explained what happened at the auction.” The smile widened. “Congratulations on it being such a success.” And then the smile faltered. “Stephen would have been so proud of what you accomplished, Kiera.”
Judith snorted but didn’t say anything.
“Why don’t we go into the living room, and you can explain what’s going on.” Joe pointed to the rear of the house. We followed Judith and took a seat on the couch. They were clearly in the middle of unpacking. Moving boxes were stacked all over the room.
Judith sank onto one armchair. Joe sat on the other one.
She glared at me, and I inwardly shuddered. I had faced some of the fiercest hockey players in the NHL, and none of them had intimated me like Stephen’s mother did at this particular moment.
I suddenly understood why Kiera had been so reluctant to tell them the truth once she found out I was Love Bug’s father. But despite that and her anger at how I had kept the truth from her about being Grayson, she couldn’t be pissed at me for what happened. When it came down to it, she was the one who’d told everyone Stephen was the father of her unborn child.
Silence surrounded us like the eye of a hurricane as Kiera and I waited for Joe or Judith to speak. Or maybe they were waiting for us to begin.
But what could I say that didn’t involve throwing Kiera under the school bus?
It wasn’t my idea that she lied to everyone.
I was only responsible for accidentally knocking her up.
After an uncomfortable minute that seemed to stretch an eternity, Joe spoke. “Am I to take it that you and Stephen never went to a fertility clinic? Or do his sperm still reside in a freezer somewhere?” He squirmed in his chair and scratched the back of his neck.
“No, there are no frozen sperm and never was.” Kiera’s voice was as small as a field mouse. And just as squeaky. She coughed. “I’m sorry I let you believe that. Stephen and I had started to try for a baby before he died. There were no fertility clinics involved. I said that it was his sperm because I didn’t know who the real father was.”
Judith scowled. Kiera stiffened.
This was exactly what she had feared when she found out she was pregnant.
It was why she had lied about who the father was.
And now I understood why.
“That was my fault,” I said. “We both attended a masquerade ball in December. I saw Kiera without her mask on but didn’t let on I was the man she was talking to. My grandmother was also there, but she only uses my middle name, Grayson. So when Kiera discovered she was pregnant, she had no way of contacting the baby’s father. Our baby.”
I skipped on how she’d later contacted my grandmother to tell Grayson she was pregnant with his baby. I had further screwed things up by not confessing even then that I was him.
“I never meant for you to find out that I was pregnant,” Kiera said. “I told my parents…” She swallowed hard. “I told my parents that I used Stephen’s frozen sperm. It sounded a lot better than admitting I got pregnant from a one-night stand, especially when I had no idea how the man would react to finding out about the baby. I wasn’t aware until you showed up to throw the gender-reveal party that you and my mother were still in contact.”
“So why didn’t you tell us the truth then?” Judith asked, finally finding her voice. It cut like a hockey puck to the face. “Why keep lying?”
Kiera’s fingers fidgeted with the fabric of her dress. “Because you were so happy to have a grandchild, a part of Stephen in your life again. I couldn’t tell you and hurt you more than you already were from losing him. I couldn’t break your heart again.” Her voice cracked.
A small understanding smile curved at the corners of Joe’s mouth. The same smile wasn’t duplicated on Judith’s face.
Not even close.
If I didn’t know better, I would’ve sworn the woman had turned into an ice statue.
Her expression had the warmth of one.
Knowing how much this was costing Kiera, I settled my hand on hers, attempting to calm her fidgeting. As much as Judith and Joe were upset with the turn of events, my first priority was protecting Kiera and our baby.
“I take full responsibility for what happened,” I told them, meaning it. “I don’t expect you to forgive either of us, but I hope in time you understand why Kiera lied to you about whose sperm was responsible for creating her baby. Neither of us meant for anyone to get hurt.”
I looked at Kiera with a message in my eyes that I hoped she understood: I never meant for you to get hurt either.
That was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.
I stood up, pulling Kiera with me. “We should go now.”
Joe walked us to the front door. Judith stayed where she was.
“Thank you for coming over,” he said, voice low. “And congratulations on your son.” He shook my hand. “I’m positive Stephen is smiling from heaven, happy the truth finally came out.”
I was positive about that, too.
Of course, if Stephen wanted to throw pointers my way on showing Kiera how much I loved her, I’d be more than grateful.
44
Kiera
August
Tuesday morning, my doorbell rang, and I waddled to the front door.
I opened it to find Stacy standing there, yoga mat in hand.
That’s right. For the past two months, Logan’s ex-wife and I had been bonding over our biweekly prenatal yoga sessions.
It gave Logan extra time with his daughter when she came over with her mother.
But instead of doing their own thing together, they usually joined us, in my backyard, practicing our poses. Travis had been the one to convince Logan to give it a try. It had become part of his daily routine after Emma had taken yoga when she was pregnant.
Which was why Emma was also here—as our pseudo yoga instructor—along with Ava and her five-month-old baby bump, and Chloe.
Now that it was the end of August, Livi was in school, and I had officially commenced my maternity leave. Where was Logan now?
Training. Hockey pres
eason was rapidly approaching.
And with it came the realization. As great as these past few months had been, the real test when it came to our relationship was about to begin.
So how had things gone ever since he tried to propose to me at the silent auction?
If you’re asking if he had told me he loved me, that would be a big no.
Nor had I told him that I loved him.
But I had been close to blurting it several times.
As for the past three months? They had been incredible.
We had spent a lot of time together. Sometimes it was just the two of us. And other times, Livi was with us.
We’d gone to the beach, had picnics, explored San Francisco together. He had found places I hadn’t even known existed even though I had lived here longer than him.
We also cuddled together a lot. In bed. On the couch.
And the kissing and sex got better and better—even when I looked like a beached whale. I still had the rule about him sleeping in the guest room, although there were a couple of nights where the rule had been forgotten when I fell asleep in his arms.
He was everything I had imagined he would be when we first became friends. He was sweet and attentive and funny.
He worked hard at making me feel like I was his number one priority—along with Livi, which was only to be expected.
But despite that, the nagging feeling that it was only temporary still lingered. It had been easy during the off-season, but would he slide back to old habits once hockey was back in full force?
Would Love Bug and I only get to appreciate him being in our lives during those few precious off-season months each year, or would things be different than they were for Stacy?
“How are you doing?” she asked, entering my house.
“Other than feeling like a walrus, not bad.” My due date wasn’t for another ten days.
But who was counting?
“And how are things between you and Logan?” Her voice held a bright and cheery smile to it.
“They’re good. He’s getting excited for hockey season to start.” He was like a little kid on Christmas morning. I was positive if an advent calendar for hockey season existed, he’d be all over it.
She tilted her head to the side, giving me an appraising look. “Are you ready for that?”
I lifted my shoulders. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
She nodded. “Logan told me you’ve been making friends with the hockey wives and girlfriends.”
“That’s right. They’re nice and super supportive.” Emma had introduced me to members of the group two months ago. Not all of them had been in town at that point. But now that the season was gearing up again, I’d had a chance to meet them all.
“When I was married to him,” Stacy said, “I never bothered getting to know the wives and girlfriends. Yes, I participated in the obligatory activities that went with being the wife of a hockey player, mostly the charity events, but I never made an effort to get to know the women.” She made a wry face and shrugged. “Instead, I spent my time with friends who didn’t get what it was like to have your husband away so much, for him not to have weekends off from his job. They didn’t understand the late nights, the loneliness. That played a role in ending our marriage.
“I’m glad to see you’re not making the same mistake I did. Loving a hockey player—or any professional athlete—is never easy, but loving Logan definitely is.”
She was right. It was easy to love him.
As we usually did when we practiced yoga together (unless it was raining), Stacy and I rolled out our mats in the backyard. Emma, Ava, and Chloe had already staked claim to their area of the grass. Cassie and Kat were busy giggling and playing with their toys on the nearby blanket. The sky was blue, but the air was cool.
Not that I noticed it with the way Love Bug had caused my body temperature to skyrocket.
“Looks like Emma lost on the baby pool.” Chloe grinned. From the way she said it, I almost expected her to rub her hands in glee.
“Baby pool?” This was the first I’d heard of one.
“That’s right. We took bets on when Love Bug would be born. Emma predicted yesterday.”
Emma snapped her fingers. “Well, there goes my career as a fortune-teller to the stars. What can I say? I’m better at predicting what will sell well in Aphrodite than I am at predicting due dates.”
“What about you three?” I asked Ava, Chloe, and Stacy. “When did you predict Love Bug is going to make his grand entrance?” I rubbed my lower back, which was already begging me to lie down.
“Oh, we can’t tell you,” Ava said. “Not until you’ve passed the predicted date.”
I laughed. “Why not? Do you think I’m going to pick favorites and make sure Love Bug is born that day?”
Because the last I heard, the popular wives’ tales for inducing labor didn’t exactly have much scientific merit.
I eyed them each in turn…until they finally gave in and told me.
“How do I get in on the bet?” I asked. “And how much is it?”
“When do you think it will be?” Chloe asked. “And the bet is fifty dollars.”
Damn, those girls didn’t play around.
I didn’t need to ponder the answer. “I’ve always been a punctual person. So I’m going with my due date.”
This was one bet I was confident I was going to win.
“Mornin’, ladies,” Logan said, walking into the yard. His hair was damp, but since his T-shirt wasn’t, I figured he must’ve already had his shower after his run.
“Hi,” I brightly responded.
The five of us were still on our yoga mats, but we had just finished our final resting pose. I struggled to get to my feet, which always took several extra steps when you had a baby who was getting close to pushing their way to freedom.
Logan helped me up. Before I could say anything, I was in his arms, his lips on mine.
It was a sweet kiss, but that didn’t mean my heart rate didn’t soar.
He gently cupped my watermelon-sized belly and lovingly stroked it with his thumb.
“Aaand, that’s our cue to leave.” Stacy laughed.
The four women collected their mats and supplies.
“We’ll see you Friday, Kiera. Have fun, you two.” Chloe waved and headed for the side gate, followed by the rest of our posse and the two little girls.
“How was yoga?” Logan’s thumb continued stroking my belly.
Love Bug gave him an answering kick, and Logan grinned. Feeling his son move never grew old for him. For either of us.
“I missed you this morning,” I murmured, gazing into his beautiful blue eyes.
“I missed you, too.” He brushed his lips against mine again.
He understood exactly what I was talking about. It wasn’t that I missed seeing him when he got up to train with Travis and the guys. It was the waking up alone because we slept in separate rooms.
And I was done doing that—at least while he was at home. I would just have to get used to it once he was on the road.
I inhaled a slow breath, trying to calm my revved up heart rate. “I was thinking that maybe if you want, we could get rid of the rule where you sleep in the guest room. You can sleep with me.”
The smile on his face? It was brighter and more beautiful than a hundred sunrises. My heart rate tripped over itself.
“I get to move into your bedroom?”
I nodded. “If you would like to.”
He didn’t answer with words. He didn’t need to. His kiss said it all.
Unlike the other ones, this kiss wasn’t sweet. It was deep, possessive, body-tingling divine.
For several minutes, we stood in the backyard kissing, and then we weren’t in the backyard…but we were definitely still kissing.
Logan sat on my bed—I meant our bed—a few minutes later, naked, when I stepped from the master bathroom. Only I wasn’t naked.
I was wearing the black lace negligee I’d bou
ght at the sex party earlier this year. Had I worn it for Logan yet?
Not at all.
Somehow it hadn’t felt right until now.
I couldn’t explain it, and since the man I wanted to make love to was waiting for me, I wasn’t interested in wasting time analyzing it either.
Fortunately, the top had a slit down the front that allowed the lace to flow open on either side of my belly, so I didn’t feel like a whale shoved into a sardine can.
If the expression on Logan’s face was any indication, he approved of the negligee.
Very much so.
I climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips.
He swallowed, the bob of his Adam’s apple slowly ascending and descending. “Christ, you’re like an early Christmas present.”
My lady bits tingled at the rough rumble of his voice.
I smiled. “Well, your gift will be revealed in ten days, give or take a day or two.”
The answering grin warmed me from the inside out. I was certain even Love Bug was fanning himself due to my temperature skyrocketing at Logan’s words.
“I can’t wait.” He threaded his fingers in my hair and brought my head down to his.
The kissing that ensued was gentle and heated and sublime. Every inch of me buzzed at how much I loved this man.
His talented fingers that scored game-winning goals sought out another prize. They moved between my legs and found the eager throb that had been building toward the crescendo ever since Logan kissed me in the backyard.
“Oh God,” I moaned. “I want you so badly.” I meant it in so many ways, but for now, I left him believing there was only one way I wanted him.
Preferably with him inside me.
I quickly removed my panties (looking no more graceful than I had crawling across the bed) while he rolled on the protection. Then I positioned myself on the tip of his hard length and slowly lowered myself until I was fully seated. We both groaned at the feel of my soft heat hugging his hard length.
Logan settled his hands on my hips and rocked me back and forth, taking things slowly. Savoring each deliberate stroke.
Decidedly with Luck (By The Bay Book 6) Page 30