“Thank you, Blake. If nothing else, you gave them a sense of confidence.” Arland stood next to him, watching his group like a proud father.
Blake nodded. “Keep them practicing. When it comes down to it, protecting their families will give them the urgency they need.”
“You sure I can’t convince you to come with us? It’s a great community of people with a wide range of skills.”
“We have everything we need right here.”
“I see that you do.” Arland scanned his property again until he stopped, and Blake saw his gaze had fallen on Kris.
Blake grit his teeth. He never would have thought he would be jealous of a man like Arland, but he sure didn’t like the way he kept watching his wife.
“Maybe we could arrange a trade?”
“A trade?” Blake growled, giving his full attention to the man.
“Yes,” Arland said with a slight hesitancy. Then he stood tall and faced him squarely, a fact that Blake had to respect.
“What exactly did you have in mind?”
“You seem to have a great many crops. It’s a lot for just three of you.” Arland put his attention on the barrels.
Blake nodded, hiding the relief that rushed through him. Why he thought the man spoke of something other than food had him thinking he really needed that sleep now.
“And just what do you think you have to trade for some of our crops? As you can see, we have everything we need.”
“Everything except what you will be needing shortly.” He nodded at Kris. “I mentioned before that one of the women,” he cleared his throat, “with me is a midwife.”
Blake did his best not to react. The thought had been playing on his mind since last night. A midwife. Someone who knew how to birth babies, someone besides him. Then he locked the hope away. He had no idea who that woman was or if she could be trusted.
“I appreciate the offer, but we will be fine.”
The shock of his refusal was evident in Arland’s expression. “Then I assume birthing babies is on the list of your skills?”
Blake just held his gaze.
“You do realize she is having contractions, don’t you? She said she has a month to go. These contractions are coming too soon.” Arland rubbed his face with his hands, but Blake stayed impassive.
He didn’t need anyone. He could protect his family. How could he trust his whole world to a woman he had never met?
“Do you have a flare gun?” Arland asked.
The absurd change of subject caught Blake off guard, and he nodded before he thought better.
“When it comes time, you shoot it off. We’ll return with a flare so you know we saw the signal. It might take several hours to get here, though, so don’t wait too long.”
“Arland,” Blake warned.
Arland held up a hand. “I’m not saying any more.” He scanned his group. “Looks like we’re all ready. Once again, Blake, thank you for your hospitality and your time to train them on a few things.”
Blake nodded and shook his offered hand.
“You know where we are at in case you change your mind.”
“I do,” Blake said as Kris and Tucker joined them.
“You guys taking off?” Kris asked, and Blake hated the longing in her voice. He knew she wished they could go with them. They were safer here. She would realize that soon enough.
“Yes, but we hope to see you all soon. We plan to have a harvest celebration in two more full moons. You are welcome to join us.”
“A harvest celebration?” Tucker asked. “Like the Pilgrims?”
“Something like that, Tucker.” Arland knelt in front of the boy. “You know, my daughter still talks about you all the time. You made quite the impression on her. She’s going to be happy when I tell her I saw you.”
“Tell Hannah hi for me, too.” He looked up at Kris. “Mommy, can we go visit Hannah sometime?”
Kris looked at Blake, or should he say glared at him.
“There are other children as well. A couple even closer to Tucker’s age,” Arland said as he stood.
“Please, Daddy?” Tucker now looked up at him with those green eyes full of hope.
“We’ll talk about it, Champ.” The thought of taking them into a group of people made Blake’s palms sweat. How could he protect them with that many others?
Kris gave Arland an awkward hug, the belly getting in the way. “May we see you again,” she said to him seemingly reverently.
Blake knew her desire to be among people, but it wasn’t safe. Here, he could protect them. Here, they would be safe...and yet, if it had been a different band of marauders and not Arland? Blake squeezed his fists tighter. He wouldn’t be leaving them alone again.
He opened his fingers long enough to shake Arland’s hand one more time and then wave farewell to the rest of the band. As soon as they crossed the property line, he would be able to breathe a little easier. He would be able to figure out why Kris had let them on the property in the first place.
Before all of that, as much as he wanted to just sleep, he needed to grab the deer, if it still lay in the forest where he had dropped it. He hadn’t heard animals out and about last night, but some of them were sneakier than others.
He dropped a hand to Tucker’s head. “I need your help, Champ. You up to helping to me prepare a deer carcass?”
“You got one?” he asked.
“Yeah, if it’s still where I dropped it last night.” Remembering the rush of fear that coursed through him at that particular moment had him glaring at Kris again.
“You act like this is my fault.” Kris wrapped her arms around herself. “You have no idea what happened or how I handled the situation. So go on believing whatever you want. Just know I disagree with you on needing a community. You know where I stand.”
She turned on her heels and waddled away from them. Yes, she waddled. Arland was right. The baby would be coming soon, much too soon.
~7~
Kris glared at Blake’s back as he and Tucker disappeared into the forest. She had enough of his controlling, unappreciative ways. Not that she had a choice. She needed Blake. She sighed as she set the squash into the basket with the others. And she wanted him.
Her heart squeezed as she finally let out a few tears and the pent-up emotions of the last twenty-four hours. She had held onto her anger last night in order to stave off the fear. Today, though, she just wanted that feeling of belonging with Blake and with others.
Having Arland’s band here reminded her just how much she missed out on with only her boys. She wrapped her arms around her belly, wondering if Tucker was right about her baby being a girl. The idea resonated with her. She would love to have a girl, even in the craziness the world had become.
“What should we name you?” Kris spoke to her belly. “Megan is a nice name or even Elise.”
Thinking of her baby, she went back to work picking and canning her produce. The crops were producing well this year, of that she was grateful.
By the time the boys had made it back with the carcass and begun the butchering process, Kris’s anger had subsided. In fact, she was still so wrapped up in thinking about baby names that she even smiled at Blake. When he saw her smile, he stopped, his face a mixture of confusion and indecision. It pained her that he didn’t return the gesture, but she shrugged it off and went back to work.
During their fresh venison dinner that night, she couldn’t help but bring up her baby name ideas. “What do you guys think of the name Megan?”
Tucker froze, his hand halfway to his mouth. He shook his head.
“No? Well, what about Elise or Alissa?”
Tuck shook his head again.
“What if it isn’t a girl?” Blake asked, before putting another bite into his mouth.
Kris watched Tucker. The thing was, she believed him. He had been right so many times before. Tucker’s fist clenched around his fork. He blew out a breath and then narrowed his eyes at his dad.
“She is a g
irl, but you won’t name her Megan, Elise, or Alissa.”
“What do you think we should name her?” Kris asked Tucker quickly before Blake spat out the words he looked like he wanted to.
“It’s for you to find out.” Tucker pushed back from the table. “I’m full. Thank you for dinner.” He glared at his dad one more time before grabbing a book and climbing into his hammock.
Kris watched Blake. His brows scrunched together, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. He had a lot to say, and somehow Kris knew she would be hearing all of it before she fell asleep that night.
Sure enough, almost the second she walked away from the sleeping Tucker, Blake stood to meet her.
“Tell me,” he commanded.
In fact, it was such a blatant command that Kris wanted to spit it back into his face. Instead, she went about making herself a cup of tea, silently calculating what words she would use. By the time she sat down at the table where Blake paced in front of, her anger was manageable.
“Sit, please.” She watched as Blake followed her request. “We are in this together, so we are going to have to learn how to trust each other and be kind for Tucker’s sake if not for our own sanity.”
“I trust you,” Blake said between his teeth.
“If you did, you wouldn’t have treated me like a disobedient child.”
“That’s not what I—”
Kris held up her hand. Already, the conversation had escalated. “It’s how I perceived it.”
“I told you to go to the bunker at first sign of any thing. Did you not have the remote on you?” The look in his eyes filled her with dread, like he thought she was the stupidest woman on the planet.
“I had it, but by the time it went off, it was too late. We even attempted to go around the back of the house.”
“So you just walked right out there?”
“No.” She said the word in a hard-lined way. How dumb did he think she was? “There was no alternative. So, I snuck Tucker back into the house and hid him in the hole beneath the closet. I couldn’t fit in there.” She pointed at her huge belly.
“I didn’t realize you had hidden Tucker.”
“Well, that was option two in your plan, wasn’t it?” Her voice bit more than she intended, her frustration tempering her words.
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “Arland told me you met him with the shotgun.”
Kris wondered at the slightly amused expression on his face but only nodded.
“Did you immediately lower your weapon when you saw it was Arland? People change. You had no idea what his intentions were.” His fists squeezed together on the table.
“I didn’t lower it right away. It took some convincing.”
Blake narrowed his eyes as if he tried to detect if she was lying.
“I followed all your protocols, Blake. You have no reason to be angry with me.”
Blake’s hands fumbled on the tabletop. The grinding of his teeth made Kris want to cover her ears. It was like nails on a chalkboard.
“You know how I feel about groups of people. You just invited them to stay for dinner! Do you know the panic I felt when I heard them and then saw you and Tuck in the middle of a group of armed people?”
“I didn’t invite them. They stayed. What was I supposed to say? My husband doesn’t want company and I have no idea when he will be home so could you please kindly leave our property. Really? Sure, I had a gun...they had over a dozen.”
“And you brought Tucker out of hiding!” he hissed at her.
“That was a judgment call. I felt awful leaving him in that dark hole when I felt like it was safe for him.”
“It was a poor call.”
Kris glared at him as she pushed off of her chair. “If you can’t trust my judgment, then I suggest you don’t just abandon us like that.” She turned before leveling her gaze on him. “And don’t you ever speak to me like that in front of others again. I don’t care who they are.”
Kris locked herself in the bathroom and turned on the hot water. She fumed until she didn’t know if it was the steam or her anger fogging up the tiny room. The warm water felt heavenly pouring down her body. The tension eased from her muscles as she slowly relaxed.
A pang of guilt squeezed in her chest. Here she was enjoying a nice hot shower when Arland and his community hadn’t had one in almost a year now. They only had a cold creek to bathe in. She shut off the water. Her anger had turned into guilt and sadness. She wished she could help those people. She wished she had other mothers to talk with and prepare with.
Her stomach clenched as another spasm caught her. She felt a wetness between her legs, and her heart dropped. Her water hadn’t broken completely yet, but this meant the baby was coming and soon.
~*~
Blake sat on the edge of the bed doing his best to stay awake. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours for the last three days, and it had caught up with him. He wiped his face and blinked his eyes. Kris had shut the water off ten minutes ago. Why hadn’t she come out yet?
He didn’t want to go to bed so angry. Not that he didn’t feel justified in his right to be upset about her decision, but it never sat well with him to go to bed without repairing a perceived hurt at least slightly.
When the door finally opened, he looked up, his mouth already starting to form words. Those words faded when he saw the stark whiteness of Kris’s face.
“What happened?” he asked, rising quickly from the bed.
“We have to prepare.” She wrapped her arms around her pregnant belly.
Blake looked down at the large protruding belly, watching another ripple squeeze its way around it.
“It’s time?” He swallowed, his throat all of a sudden feeling parched.
“Soon,” she said after the contraction ended. “I lost my plug. It’s a matter of days or maybe just hours.”
Blake paced as Kris got down low on her hands and knees to search the cupboards. He knew he should search for her, but his mind swirled, pushing out rational thoughts. She rose with a few towels and placed them under the sheets on her side of the bed.
“What are you doing?” Fear tightened his voice. She had said days. Why would she be getting things like that ready now?
“In case my water breaks. I don’t want to ruin the mattress.” She lay down on them and pulled up the covers around her.
How in the world was she acting so calm? She would be in labor soon. Their whole lives would change with so many uncertainties. What if he couldn’t deliver the baby? What if there were complications?
Yet, she snuggled onto her side and calmly closed her eyes. “Good night,” she said.
Blake watched her in horror before the yawn overtook him. Maybe she was right. He better get some sleep, too. If the baby came later tonight, he would need to have a fresh mind. He tugged off his filthy clothes and took a quick shower to wash off the grime and carcass stink before he crawled into bed beside her.
He wanted to pull her into the crook of his arms, hold her and feel that connection that they used to have. What had happened to take that away? What if he lost her before he found out a way to restore it?
He reached out a tentative hand before pulling it back, turning over on his side and pushing himself into sleep.
Blake woke with a start, finding himself sitting upright in bed and surveying his situation. Kris moaned in her sleep beside him, writhing in her blankets. Tucker watched her wide-eyed from the hammock.
“Kris,” he said quietly, laying a hand on her.
She calmed for a moment and then curled in on herself, wrapping her arms around her belly and moaning more.
“How long has she been like this?” Blake asked Tucker.
The boy blinked and then met his gaze. “She woke me up. Is Mommy okay?”
“How long, Tuck?”
“A half-hour maybe? I don’t know. She starts moaning and then stops for awhile before doing it again. Is my sister coming?” he asked, dropping his eyes back to his mom.
Bl
ake watched Kris again. She had calmed, her forehead smoothing. Maybe it had just been a bad dream. He should wake her, but if it was the start of labor, she would need all the rest she could get. He scooted to the edge of the bed and tried to clear his head enough to remember what all the books said.
They didn’t have a bed with stirrups, but babies used to be born in beds all the time. Plastic sheets, towels, water, his head swam. Where was that book?
He pushed off the bed and pulled on his clothes. As he slipped his shirt over his head, he watched the cameras for any signs of intruders or anything amiss. After several minutes, he glanced back over at Kris. She still slept peacefully. Maybe it was just a false alarm.
He tried to laugh at himself for getting in a tizzy over nothing as he started to heat the water for his coffee. Just a dream probably. Relief swept over him. He had more time, and he would dedicate it to memorizing that book from cover to cover.
Tucker rustled in the hammock as he climbed out of it and crawled into the bed by Kris. The boy pet her head and sang her a song. Blake realized, then, Kris had started moaning again.
Not a false alarm. He had to get that book.
~*~
Kris was pulled from the dream by excruciating pain that wrapped around her entire middle and settled in her lower back. She heard a strange moaning sound, finally realizing it came from her while she curled in around her belly.
“Shhh, Mommy. It’s going to be okay. Shhh.” Tucker’s little voice filtered through.
A moment later, the wrenching pain eased off. She panted and focused on the feeling of her son’s hand brushing her hair back.
“There you go. Just relax, Mommy.”
She blinked open her eyes until his little face came into view.
“Hi, Mommy. Are you okay? Is my sister coming?”
Kris took his hand and brought it to her lips. “You are so sweet, my son. How long have you been here?” She sat up, realizing how weak she felt.
“Long enough that you have had four rounds of pain.”
Grant Us Mercy (Book 3): Grant Us Mercy Page 7