“Four rounds...” Her mind jumbled as she sat and swung her legs off the bed. A quick look showed that Blake wasn’t in the bunker. “Where’s Dad?”
“He said something about a book before he ran out the door a few minutes ago.”
Kris nodded, doing her best to push the sleep out of her muddled mind.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Sweetie.”
“Why won’t anyone answer my question? Is my sister coming?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ll have to see how consistent the contractions are and how far apart. It won’t be very long though.” She smiled at her son.
“I can’t wait for her to be here!” He jumped on the bed.
“Me, too, Sweetie. Me, too.” She couldn’t. Once she had her baby in her arms, she would be past this huge thing hanging over her and her husband. Once they were all safe, she knew Blake would relax.
“I’m hungry, Mommy.”
“Okay, Tuck. I’ll get some breakfast going.” She pushed off the bed, holding onto the counter to steady her swimming head.
“It’s going to be so fun having a little sister. I’ll teach her how to shoot bows and walk like a ninja. I’ll even teach her how to read.”
“It’ll be a while until she’s ready to do all of that.” Kris smiled, trying to push away the fear of labor and focus on the beauty of having another baby. “At first, she’ll mostly just sleep and eat.”
“And poop. That’s what Daddy said.”
Kris laughed. “Yes, and that, too.” For a moment, she allowed herself to worry about not having everything in place, like diapers.
“She’ll need lots of care and love and...” Kris doubled over, grasping her belly, the pain ripping through her, stealing her breath, and leaving her panting by the time it finished.
“Another round?” Tuck asked.
Kris nodded, trying to catch her breath. “I need to track them, Tuck. Please go check the time on the cameras and write it down in your notebook.”
“Got it.” Tuck hopped off the bed and ran to his notebook, flipping it open to a blank page where he wrote down the time. “Daddy’s coming back. I see him leaving the house.”
“Thanks, Sweetie.” She wanted to ask him what his mood was like so she could prepare. Instead, she took another deep breath, stood upright, and made the decision to keep her own peace no matter her husband’s mood.
~*~
At first, Blake believed that maybe Kris wasn’t in labor. When he had returned, she was up, making breakfast, and smiling like any ordinary day. Yet every few minutes, if he paid attention, she would stop her movements and quietly breathe. Like now.
When she turned back around, she acted like nothing was amiss. Her eyes, though, held a determination that Blake recognized. He had to admire her strength of composure, for every time she looked at their son, she would spread a smile across her lips.
The boy bounced around as if it were Christmas Day. Blake wished he could feel excitement, but Tucker didn’t experience what Kris went through to bring him in the world. He had no idea what it would take out of her or how precious life balanced in the midst of it.
“Tuck, you’re wiggling around a lot. Do you need to take care of something?” Kris asked him.
“I’m trying to wait until go we up top. I’d much rather use a tree.” Tucker danced.
“I don’t think your body wants to wait that long. Go on,” she said, nodding her head toward the bathroom.
Tucker mumbled and groaned, but he went into the bathroom, sliding the door mostly closed behind him.
“I don’t think he’ll ever get used to that composting toilet,” Kris said as she took his empty plate.
By his calculations, she should have another two minutes before another contraction.
“Why are you pretending like you aren’t in labor?” Blake asked, trying to keep his tone even.
Her movements froze momentarily before she continued to wash the dishes. “Things have to be done. Might as well do them while I can.”
Blake blew out his breath. “We need to prepare.”
“I need to ensure Tucker can take over the canning for a day or two.”
“Canning can wait. It won’t go bad in a couple days.” He swiped his hands through his lengthening hair. What he wouldn’t give for a haircut today. He stood up to pace the floor. His hair was the least of his worries.
“Have you decided where you want to do it?”
Her question stopped him. His eyebrows scrunched together while he contemplated her meaning. Oh...the labor. She would be more comfortable in the house, he knew that. Yet, if marauders chose that time to arrive, and given his track record that’s when they would, he wouldn’t be able to protect her.
“It has to be the bunker. You’ll be safer here.”
Kris’s shoulders fell as she looked around the tiny quarters. “We’ll have to put a waterproof sheet on the mattress. Otherwise, it will be ruined.”
Blake nodded, mentally adding that to his list of supplies. “What else?”
“You’ve read the book, haven’t you?” She had thrust her hands on her hips, her eyes glaring.
“Yes, I...fine. I’ll just double-check with the book then.” He plopped down into the chair and opened the book.
Moments later, he still felt the glare of her eyes on him. He glanced up, and her look of determination told him he was in for it.
“I need a woman, Blake. Can you add that to your list?”
“Sorry. I’m all you got.”
“There is a midwife an hour’s walk from here. A MIDWIFE! From a trusted group of people. Why won’t you give me that?”
Blake swallowed the angry words that filled him. In her condition, he shouldn’t anger her further. Yet, her lack of respect or understanding for his views made it almost impossible.
“They aren’t to be trusted, Kris. Yes, it’s Arland. Yes, we rescued his daughter. People change. Even if he still is someone to rely on, how do we know we can trust the others with him...or this midwife woman who we have never met?”
He stared hard ar Kris. He had started with his tone calm, soothing, but it had escalated. The fear in him turned into indignant anger, building and growing to the point he didn’t know if he could contain it any longer.
Kris’s glare burned through him. Her nostrils flared with each breath she blew through them. As her mouth opened, she doubled over and started a different type of breathing.
He wanted to go to her, should go to her, but the anger rooted his feet.
Tucker chose that moment to finish in the bathroom and enter the room. He immediately ran over to his mom and talked soothingly, wrapping his arm around her in support.
That should be him, not his six-year-old son. Blake worked on his breath, too. He tried to push the anger away, tried to focus on what needed to be done.
When the contraction ended, Blake stood and walked over to Kris. “You should be resting.” He took her arm gently and led her to the bed.
“There’s a million things to do before this baby comes, Blake. Are you going to do them?” She spat at him, but that contraction took more energy from her and the words were weak.
“I will do what needs to be done.”
“On top of what we need for labor, I need diapers, wipes, towels, baby clothes, blankets, my nursing bra, the baby wrap—”
“Kris.” Blake swiped down his face. “One thing at a time. We still have a few hours, right?”
“Hopefully,” she said, biting her lower lip.
Right then, Blake knew she was as scared as he was, and it diffused all the anger within him. He had to be her rock right now. She needed him to be the one who stayed calm, who kept his wits when the stress got high. There was only him.
~*~
Labor progressed much faster than Kris had anticipated. She hardly had time to catch her breath between the contractions. Tucker hadn’t left her side. She didn’t want to have him see her like
this, but what other choice was there? They couldn’t tell him to go in the other room. There wasn’t one.
Blake thankfully had stepped up. With Tucker, he had been her constant support, doting on her and filling her with encouragement. Her mom had planned to fly out, but Tucker had decided to come early. She had missed her mom being there, but it had bonded her and Blake in a way nothing else could. She felt that now, as his hand lay on her head and he spoke gentle words in her ear.
She didn’t remember active labor lasting this long. It felt like an eternity had gone by. Without the lighting to help decipher time, she really had no idea how long it had been, but it felt like a lifetime. As the contractions came and went and her strength waned, she picked up on the panic in Blake’s voice and his hands shaking as he wiped her brow with a cool cloth.
She should have had pushing pains by now.
Kris closed her eyes, remembering the comforting sound of the heart monitor they had for Tucker. She knew he was okay by listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She didn’t have that now. There was no way to know if her baby was distressed.
“You need to check me. Am I not dilating?” She pushed out with her ragged breathing in between contractions.
“Check...” Blake thumbed through the childbirth book.
He was reading when she went into the next contraction.
Tucker took over with the cloth. “You got this, Mommy. I know you can do it.”
His voice gave her the thread to cling onto while the pain threatened to steal her away. She didn’t remember labor hurting this much. Yet, isn’t that what her doctor had told her. It was the woman’s gift that pain could not be remembered. She sure could feel it now.
Kris went back to focusing on her breath and trying to feel her body and what was going on.
“Okay, I think I got this.” Blake touched her face, and she blinked open her eyes. “I’m all washed up and going to position you so I can check. Okay?”
She nodded, feeling too fatigued to even talk.
She felt the tentative pressure from Blake as he did his best to perform something he probably never had wanted to, at least not in this way. His fingers pulled out.
“My best guess is that you are fully dilated, but the baby’s head isn’t entering the canal.”
The news brought Kris to an almost sitting position. “What?”
“It’s still farther than your cervix, but maybe I’m wrong...” For the first time, Kris heard the unsureness in her husband. “Maybe you should try pushing?”
Kris nodded. It couldn’t hurt, right?
Blake helped her up into a similar position she was in when Tucker was born, without the stirrups of course. Then she instructed Tucker to sit up by her head. He didn’t need to see what happened down there.
When the next contraction came, she bore down, doing her best to will the baby into this world. Her body felt like it couldn’t go any farther, like she had reached its full limit. Yet, when the next contraction came, she pushed again.
Her life became the pushing, the brief rest and panting in between, and back to the pushing.
~*~
Blake reached his fingers in again to feel for the baby’s head.
It hadn’t budged.
He didn’t understand. His heart raced as panic flooded his veins in a fiery river of fear. He sat back on his haunches, watching his wife fade away before his eyes. His son watched with a look of pure horror. Had he just committed his wife to death because of his lack of trust?
He stood with a roar, controlling the urge to propel things across the room.
“Blake...” Kris’s weak voice reached him.
He squeezed his fists and took the two quick steps to reach her side. “It’s going to be okay, Kris. You just rest now. No more pushing.”
“The baby?” she asked, her words barely louder than her breath.
“Everything is going to be okay.” He lied. He knew if the baby didn’t come out soon it would go into distress, and he probably would lose Kris. Clenching his teeth, he bent over and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m going to get help.”
“You’re leaving us?” Tucker squeaked.
“You keep Mom as calm as possible. If she feels like she has to push, you will have to try to guide your sister into this world.”
Tucker gulped, but pushed his shoulders back.
“I knew I could count on you.” He cupped his son’s chin. “I shouldn’t be long. I’m only going to shoot the flare gun and wait to see a return. I’ll have the walkie-talkie, so alert me if anything changes.”
“I will.” He took the walkie-talkie and clutched it to his chest.
Kris went into another contraction. Blake soothed her through it. As she relaxed back into the bed for her brief respite, he rummaged in the cupboard and withdrew a flare gun and his pistol.
Before leaving, he walked back over to his wife and son to kiss them both on the forehead. “We always return to each other.”
“We always return to each other,” Tucker repeated.
“...always...return...” Kris breathed out.
“Let me know if anything changes, Tuck.”
Blake took one last longing look at his family, hating how many times he had had to do that recently, and quickly pushed out of the bunker and into the world above.
The night was quiet, as if it knew something was happening. He ran to the clearing, hoping the flare would burn out before it hit the dry ground. Summer was not a smart time to use a gun like this, but he had no choice.
He hung his head for a brief moment before raising the gun over his head. “Grant us mercy,” he whispered as he pulled the trigger.
The flare burst into the air like a sad firework. As it trailed back down, a smoke trail following, he realized the slight chance that it actually had been seen at Arland’s camp. Should he have welcomed Arland’s help before? Yet, they still hadn’t expected it to happen this soon.
Blake stared up into the starlit sky in the direction of Arland’s camp. So much had changed. Had it been different and Kris been in a hospital now, would he be more excited rather than fearful? She scared the pants off him then, too. If it hadn’t have been for the doctors, he would have lost all of his nerves.
Blake let his head hang forward as he stretched the kink out of his neck. No return signal. Nothing.
“Tucker, what’s the update,” he asked over the radio.
“Still going, Dad. She’s getting weaker, though.”
“Keep doing what you’re doing, Champ. We’re going to get her through this.” Somehow.
Blake tried to keep the panic under control. He did his best to focus on the night sky as he prayed for mercy. He couldn’t go through this life without Kris. Tucker needed her. He needed her. Blake fell to his knees, letting the tears stream down his face unabashedly as he begged for her life.
He became so lost in his pleading that the movement he saw at the forest’s edge caught him completely off guard. Still on his knees, he raised his pistol, aiming at the two figures standing in the shadows.
“Hello, the camp!” a voice rang out as one of the shadowy figures raised a hand.
Blake immediately lowered his gun and allowed his face to fall to the ground. His prayer had been answered.
~*~
Kris panted. She didn’t even have the strength to moan through the last contraction. She lost herself in the waves of pain, feeling as if she teetered on the edge of something otherworldly in between the moments of agony.
Through the haze between worlds, she recognized the sound of the bunker door opening and closing. Voices filtered to her through the thick thrumming air, voices she didn’t recognize. A female voice.
A scent of herbal freshness wafted toward her as she felt a cool, soft hand reach out and touch her forehead.
“Kris, my name is Laurie. I’m a midwife. How about we get this baby to your arms?”
Kris mustered enough strength to nod.
“I’m going to check
you now.”
Her cool hands felt all around her stomach and then checked her dilation. She heard murmured questions and Blake’s deep responses. Another contraction ripped through her, leaving her to the point she thought she had lost all sanity.
“Kris,” Laurie said. “We need to reposition you. I need you to get up on your hands and knees. Do you think you can do that?”
Kris shook her head. “I...can’t...I’m done...save the baby...”
“You can, Mommy. You can do this.”
“Come on, Krista. I know you’re exhausted. You’ve got more mountain to climb,” Blake whispered into her ear.
Kris shook her head, her body refusing to move. Her grip on this world quickly faded.
“You name her Mercy,” Tucker said so closely she could feel the warmth of his breath on her ear. “I saw you. You held her. She has red hair like you and green eyes like me and Daddy. So you see, I know you make it. I know you can do this.”
Kris clung to her son’s words. Her beautiful, gifted son. Tears leaked through her tightly closed lids. Mercy. She would give Tucker his sister. God was granting her Mercy, in a way she never thought.
She drew in a deep breath, grit her teeth and rolled over to her hands and knees. Hands helped her into position, right as another contraction hit.
“Now push, Kris. Give it everything.” The midwife encouraged while she pushed, prodded, and manipulated Kris.
As Kris rested, the midwife checked her. “We have movement!”
The bunker erupted in cheers, and it gave Kris strength. The feeling flooded her as a gift granted, not one she pulled from within, but one given, infused with the love from everyone surrounding her.
With the next contraction, she pushed even harder, knowing that she could do this, knowing that soon she would be holding that baby in her arms—Mercy.
~*~
Blake hadn’t believed his eyes when Arland and the midwife had stepped from out the forest. After rising from his gratitude, he had ran to them, the question leaving his mouth before any sort of greeting.
“How?”
“As soon as I told Laurie of Kris’s condition, she packed up and said we needed to come right away,” Arland had told him.
Grant Us Mercy (Book 3): Grant Us Mercy Page 8