Everything Pales in Comparision

by Rebecca Swartz

  “Well,” James said, “we can’t tell them everything—”

  “Fine, fine,” Daina interrupted with obvious annoyance and impatience, “the whole secrecy thing, yeah, I get that. But you have to allow me to call them and tell them what’s going on. Before I disappear off the face of the earth, for God only knows how long. Okay? Can I do that?”

  “Yes, of course,” Michaels reassured her. “They can come here, you can talk to them. But we have to get on that right away. We have a lot of arrangements to make if we’re going to get you set up in the house today.”

  “Well, they were planning on being here at eleven anyway, so I’ll call them now.”

  “Make sure you arrange to have your clothes and whatever personal items you need or want brought here. You’ll be leaving right from here.”

  “What about food, groceries?” Emma suddenly thought to ask, forcing herself into the moment and trying to think practically.

  “The house is stocked with the basics,” Michaels said. “Anything else you need or want, you make a phone call, it gets delivered. We pick up the expense.”

  Emma nodded. “Sounds good.” She glanced across at Daina.

  Daina looked her way at the same time. Their eyes met and Daina raised her eyebrows and nodded as well.

  “Okay,” Michaels said briskly. “All right then, any more questions?” He looked at Emma, who shook her head.

  They both looked at Daina, who nodded.

  “Uh, yeah…is there a pool?” she asked, completely serious.

  Emma’s earlier amusement returned. This time she didn’t even bother trying to hide her smile.

  “What?” Daina asked. “I was thinking in terms of hydrotherapy. I get my stitches out in a few days. It’s a good question, isn’t it?”

  She assumed an almost injured air, and the smile that Emma was trying to get under control broadened instead.

  “Actually, it is a good question,” Michaels responded. “And yes, there is a pool. Anything else?”

  “Yeah, actually, there is.” Daina looked from the sergeant to Emma and asked of her, “Can you…stay a bit longer? I’d like to talk to you, if I could.”

  A bit thrown by the request, Emma collected herself quickly enough to answer smoothly, “Yes, of course.” Her reply sounded cool and professional, and not in the least enthusiastic. She turned to Michaels, her back to Daina briefly, and Michaels met her look with a subtle questioning one of his own. And she recalled his earlier words of caution, and knew what he was thinking and what he wanted to say. And even though she was annoyed with him, she understood that he was concerned. But she couldn’t respond to that concern, not here, not now. And so she just smiled and said, “I’ll be right out.” Michaels nodded and he and the detective left the room. And Emma, her mind churning and her body fatigued, turned once more to face Daina.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Daina actually hadn’t intended to ask Emma to stay behind. At least not consciously. But she did have a couple of questions. And she’d caught Emma’s amusement and thought it boded well for the development of a good rapport. Considering the way things were going, a good rapport was going to be necessary in the days ahead, she knew that much.

  As Emma made the half turn back to face her, her expression, for one brief moment, was completely unguarded. And what Daina saw in Emma’s eyes, in her face, was utter exhaustion. In the next moment the usual wall of cool professionalism was thrown up and she wondered if what she had seen had actually even been there.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, moving to the right to reach the foot of the bed, all the while watching Emma closely.

  Emma’s expression didn’t change as she answered, “Yes, I’m fine.” She shoved her hands halfway into the pockets of her khakis. Coupled with the black tank top and running shoes, she looked so casual and so attractive, Daina had a hard time remembering the woman was a police officer. But if her attire belied her profession, her stance and attitude, even her build, was a subtle reminder of it. Her arms and shoulders were well-defined without being muscle-bound, which complemented her lean frame. She carried herself with a smoothness and grace underlined by a certain tension, like a dancer balanced on a knife edge. And while her expression was invariably mild, her eyes were keen and watchful, and Daina doubted they missed much. She didn’t know how anyone could be so relaxed and so alert at the same time.

  “And you’re sure you’re okay with all this?” she asked carefully, watching Emma’s eyes. “Because I really didn’t mean to—”

  “Yes, I’m sure,” Emma broke in, calmly but firmly. And then with the slightest of frowns she asked, “Are you okay with it?”

  “Oh, yeah, I’m fine with it,” Daina hastened to reassure her. “I mean, sure, it takes some getting used to, but I’m adapting.” She paused, then added, “It’s just…I don’t know, these are unusual circumstances, you didn’t seem to give it much thought. Don’t you have a…husband, or a boyfriend or—”

  “It’s not a consideration,” Emma interrupted her flatly.

  Daina blinked, effectively shut down. “Okay, then,” she said into the silence, feeling a bit foolish.

  At that, Emma’s look softened. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh. But it’s really not a consideration.” She hesitated, then asked, “What about you?”

  “No,” Daina replied, then added hastily, “I mean, no boyfriend or husband, obviously, and, well, no girlfriend, either, because…” She shrugged. “I fired her.”

  Emma said, completely straight-faced, “Wow. I didn’t realize you could do that.”

  Daina started to smile, her smile broadened into a grin, and finally she laughed outright. “That was good,” she said, with an appreciative nod. “Very funny.”

  Emma merely smiled.

  “She was my manager, as well. I did fire her, and then broke up with her, almost in the same breath. Not that you need to know that, but…” Daina shrugged again, “that’s what happened.”

  “I see.”

  Daina said, “So, I do have another question.”

  “Sure, shoot.”

  She blinked. “Make that two questions.” She considered a moment, before asking, “Are you…going to be in uniform?”

  Emma gave her a blank look. “Excuse me?”

  Daina didn’t know how else to ask the question. “Are you going to be in uniform?” she repeated, then added helpfully, “During your bodyguard stint.”

  “Oh!” Emma said with a start. “Right. No, no, just…street clothes, what you see here. No uniform.”

  “Okay, good.” Daina gave a relieved laugh. “’Cause that might’ve felt a bit weird.” A smart-ass comment popped into her head, having to do with women in uniform. She quelled it. “Second question is, will you be armed?”

  “Yes,” Emma replied immediately. “Are you okay with that?”

  “Oh, yeah, definitely,” was Daina’s quick reply. “I mean, otherwise, it’s like...having a watchdog but keeping it chained to the doghouse.” She shrugged. “What’s the point?”

  “Good analogy,” Emma said, with a nod and a smile.

  Daina smiled in return, and then cleared her throat. “I’d like to say something,” she began carefully, her eyes on Emma’s, “and I’m not quite sure how to say it, but…”

  Emma’s expression was mildly curious while she waited, and Daina was bolstered by it. She swallowed, and continued, saying, “I chose you because…I feel…safe with you. And I don’t mean that in some kind of…creepy way, because you saved my life. I don’t. It’s just, I can’t—” She broke off, jerking her eyes from Emma’s and raising them to the ceiling briefly before, with an inarticulate sound of frustration, she looked back. “I can’t find the words to explain that any better. But that’s what I meant, when I said ‘because it’s you.’ Because it’s you, I’ll go along with this; because I feel safe with you.” She paused, then added, quietly, “And I wanted you to know that.”

  Only about five feet separated the two
of them, so Daina was close enough to see Emma’s expression change into something almost resembling surprise. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. And then, to Daina’s absolute alarm, Emma’s eyes brimmed with tears.

  “Oh, my God, what—?” Daina spoke quickly, fearfully, her hands out in a gesture of appeasement. “What did I do? I’m sorry.”

  Emma blinked and shook her head, and the tears fell from her eyes to slide down her cheeks. “No,” she said, and sniffed. “No, it’s not you. Please, I’m sorry.” She put one hand out toward Daina, as if to calm her, while she wiped away the tears with the other. “It’s not you,” she repeated, and sniffed again.

  Daina just gaped at her.

  Emma turned ever so slightly away, wiped her eyes with both hands, took a deep breath and once more faced Daina. She said, almost sheepishly, “You, uh, caught me off guard there.” She gave a weak smile and a small shake of her head. “And I’m sleep-deprived and I, uh…really think I need to regroup.” She sniffed one last time, and then added, “So, if you’ll excuse me?”

  Daina looked at her a bit dumbly and said, “Yeah. Sure. Go.”

  With what was obviously a grateful smile, Emma said, “Thank you. I’ll, uh, catch up with you later.”

  Daina could only nod. “Great,” she muttered, as the door closed behind Emma. “I just made my bodyguard cry.”

  She stood there a few moments longer, trying to make sense of Emma’s reaction, but in the end, gave up. The woman must be extremely tired or extremely sensitive. Or both. She sincerely hoped she hadn’t misjudged the woman’s competency, or how safe she might actually be with her.

  She had to call her parents. That was her priority. And if Emma had a problem with what had just happened, well, they could talk about it over dinner tonight, she supposed. The thought struck her as so patently absurd that she actually laughed out loud, a single, harsh sound that had an edge to it she didn’t like. She instantly squelched it and limped over to the bedside table.

  Priorities, she thought, as she picked up the phone. Remember your priorities.

  ***

  Emma wasted no time heading down the hall to the elevators. She needed to get out of the area to somewhere private so she could deal with what had just happened.

  “Emma!” Michaels called out behind her, halting her in her tracks.

  She took a deep, steadying breath before turning to face him.

  As he got closer, he frowned. “Are you okay? What happened?”

  “Nothing,” she replied coolly. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re fine? You don’t look fine.”

  She had no idea what she looked like; she only knew how she felt. If that was reflected in her face, she’d have to make a conscious effort to cover it up, or else explain her countenance to Michaels. She didn’t feel she had enough energy for either. With a heavy sigh, she said, “Really, Sarge, I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

  He seemed to buy her explanation; his expression became sympathetic, as he said, “Oh, yeah, of course.”

  And suddenly, on top of the myriad other emotions she was feeling, Emma realized she was once more annoyed. She was annoyed that he stood in front of her, wanting to know what, if anything, was wrong, and annoyed that whatever was wrong, she couldn’t possibly tell him, because she wasn’t quite sure herself. And even if she was sure, she still couldn’t tell him. She was annoyed that she couldn’t tell him she was annoyed, and the piéce de rèsistance, she was annoyed that she had just walked out on Daina, likely leaving her standing there thinking she had done something wrong.

  Michaels was still looking at her closely. “Did everything go okay in there?” he asked.

  “Yes, it went fine.” She assumed a casual air. “It’s all good.”

  “She didn’t bring anything else up? She seems okay with everything?”

  “Actually, yes, she seems more comfortable with it than I expected.” Which is more than I can say for myself.

  “Largely due to you, apparently.”

  “Well,” Emma said, with a slight, dismissive laugh and tilt of her head, “so she says.”

  “That was quite the little twist of fate there, her asking for you,” Michaels commented. “Worked out for the best, I think. You’re okay with it?”

  Emma sighed inwardly. “Honestly, Sarge, I’m as okay with it right now as I can possibly be. If she wants me there, then I’m it. I mean, she won’t go for it otherwise, so it’s a moot point. I think I just need some time to adjust, get used to the whole ‘being a victim’ thing. That and some sleep and I should be just fine.”

  Michaels’ intense look eased. “Well, you’re going to have to go without sleep for a bit longer, I’m afraid, if you think you can handle it.”

  Another inward sigh. “Sure, I’m good for a while yet,” she told him, not surprised in the least by the delay.

  He motioned her toward the elevators and fell into step beside her. “We’ll get you to your apartment so you can get your things together, but I want you in and out. I want you back here.”

  That surprised her. “I have to come back here?”

  “I’d like to keep the two of you together. It makes sense to move you both at the same time.”

  Emma supposed he was right. “How are you moving us?”

  “We’re still working on that.”

  He said no more on the subject, insisting instead that he accompany her to her apartment, which she agreed to.

  It was only after he’d left and she was alone and certain of complete privacy that she allowed herself to look closely at what had happened at the hospital. She felt reluctant to do so, not because she didn’t know what was going on. She wasn’t naïve. In fact, she almost couldn’t believe what was happening and therefore didn’t feel she could trust it, couldn’t trust her feelings or her perception.

  The truth of the matter was, Daina touched her in ways she had never experienced before. Certainly she was abrupt and brutally candid, almost to the point of annoyance, but she also exhibited a genuine honesty and guilelessness that could not possibly be feigned. The woman was so sincere and so open, it was disarming.

  Emma knew that she was interested in Daina, attracted to her, drawn to her. She could deny it to anyone else, but she couldn’t deny it to herself, not anymore. She’d never met anyone who was so alive, so captivating, so free of restraint. And yet, nothing really had changed. She was still a cop in Daina’s eyes. She would have to maintain her professional objective distance. There was no way she would jeopardize the integrity of the investigation or Daina’s safety. Regardless of the fact that she’d shed a few tears earlier in front of the woman.

  She felt a sudden irritation with herself and abruptly got to her feet. She headed down the hall to get her things together, and to push Daina Buchanan from her mind.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Daina’s parents took the news of the sudden change in plans better than Daina had expected. She’d explained nothing over the phone, merely told them that the original arrangements had been scotched, that she was being relocated, and would explain as best she could once they were at the hospital. She’d asked them to get together whatever belongings she’d brought with her from Nashville, knowing it wasn’t all that much since she’d only been planning on staying a couple of days, and she recited a quick list of things she thought she might need or want in addition.

  When they arrived they brought with them her suitcase and her shoulder bag; she’d always been a light traveler and she guessed that the few extras she’d requested had already been transferred to her luggage. Her father, however, carried something else, and when Daina saw it, she was elated.

  “Thought you might be wanting this,” he said, as he placed the hard shell guitar case on the bed. “All things considered.”

  “Oh, my God,” Daina breathed, placing her hands on the case. “I’d forgotten it was at your house.”

  She undid the clasps and lifted the cover. Nestled inside was one of her favor
ite guitars, a blond Seagull six-string acoustic. Its flat finish seemed to absorb the light rather than reflect it. She’d bought the guitar when she was nineteen and it was still in excellent condition. When she’d moved out of her parents’ house she had decided to leave it there, so there would always be a guitar available.

  She hugged her father as best she could with her one good arm. “Thanks, Dad, for remembering.”

  “That’s what I’m here for,” he said, returning the hug and kissing the top of her head. He then stepped back, holding her at arm’s length, and looked at her gravely. “Now tell us what’s going on, honey.”

  Keeping in mind the restrictions put in place by Sergeant Michaels, Daina shared with them only the most prudent details regarding the recent threats and her relocation. She stressed the safety factor, and the fact that she wouldn’t be alone; she didn’t mention Emma Kirby’s name, just the fact that a police officer had been assigned to guard her. She was unsure what more she could share, but felt she couldn’t possibly say much less.

  Her parents took it all calmly and asked few questions. She explained that their safety was also a concern, so she was limited in what she could share. They accepted that without argument. Shortly afterward, there was a knock on the door.

  “Oh, you’re here already,” Sergeant Michaels said to Daina’s parents as he entered.

  After he’d shaken both her father’s and mother’s hand, he looked back at her and asked, “What have you told them?”

  “Only what we need to know, obviously,” her father spoke up. He then proceeded to reiterate her words and their questions, and finished with, “My daughter has a good head on her shoulders, Sergeant.”

  “Well, yes, I’m sure she does,” Michaels said gravely, “but this is a dangerous situation—”

  “I could have said more,” Daina interrupted him softly, eyeing him steadily. “I opted for less. I’m aware of the situation, Sergeant. I’m not going to endanger my parents.”