Light in the Shadows

by A. Meredith Walters

  Jake snorted. “Sloppy seconds, huh? No, there’s nothing sloppy about it.” Okay, that was it, I was going to come across the counter and pound his skull into the floor. I had tucked my wallet back into my pocket and braced my hands on the counter when a hand grabbed me by the upper arm.

  “Cool it, Jake. Just get the man his coffee and stop being an ass about it.” I grit my teeth, pissed that it looked as though I would have to reschedule kicking the shit out of Jake Fucking Fitzsimmons for another day.

  “He’s not getting any, Clay, sloppy or otherwise, so just calm the fuck down, alright?” I wrenched my arm out of Daniel’s grip and took a deep, steadying breath. I didn’t say anything, just waited for my coffee.

  Jake came back and shoved the Styrofoam cup across the counter, sloshing hot liquid all over the surface. “And that’s on the house, right?” Daniel said, clearly irritated with his buddy. Jake gave a curt nod and walked away to help another customer. He hadn’t given me my damn croissant but decided I’d made enough of a scene for one day.

  I picked up the drink and took a sip, the bitter coffee soothing my jangled nerves. I looked at Daniel and he was watching me as though waiting for me to pounce or something. I held up my free hand in a placating gesture. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, I promise,” I said begrudgingly.

  Daniel shrugged. “I wouldn’t blame you for beating his face in. Jake was being a prick. But he’s wanted in Maggie’s pants for years. And with you out of the picture he thought he had a shot. Now you’ve shown back up and he has to get all girly about it. Don’t take anything he says seriously. He’s just got a bad case of PMS going on.”

  Huh. This was the most Daniel and I had said to each other…well ever. He had never hidden the fact that he didn’t trust me, so him coming to my defense was surprising.

  “Well thanks for the assist and all,” I said; ready to get the hell out of there. Coming to Java Madness was a massive mistake. All I had ended up with was high blood pressure and a shitty cup of coffee.

  “Clay, you got a minute?” Daniel called out just before I walked out the door. I should have seen that one coming. It was time for the you hurt my friend and I break your legs conversation. We’d had that same talk several times in the past. I guess Daniel felt it necessary to have a refresher course.

  “Sure.” I went and sat down at a table near the window, trying to force down more coffee. It really was crap. I bet Jake I’ve-got-my-panties-in-a-bunch Fitzsimmons spit in it. Asshole. I pushed the cup away from me and crossed my arms over my chest. Daniel flipped his cellphone over and over again in his hand.

  “First of all, I really am sorry about Lisa. She was really nice and all. Even though I only met her the one time, she seemed cool,” Daniel said directly. One thing I had always respected about Daniel Lowe was the fact that he told things like they were. He didn’t dance around a subject, he just bulldozed through it. Maggie would get pissed about it at times, thinking he was an insensitive ass. But you couldn’t help but admire someone who never bothered with pretense.

  “Thanks, man,” I said, tapping my fingers on the table.

  “So how long are you in town for?” Daniel asked me, furrowing his eyebrows as he waited for my answer. We had already been over this once at the funeral, but clearly he needed a more definitive response this time.

  “You gonna try and kick my ass if I tell you I’m staying?” I asked him a bit belligerently. I stopped tapping my fingers and laid my hand flat on the table, meeting Daniel’s stare head on. There was a moment when I wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to do. He didn’t seem particularly happy with my announcement.

  “You gonna give me a reason to kick your ass, Clay?” he asked me pointedly. I blew out a breath and ran my hand through my hair.

  “I sure as hell hope not,” I answered honestly. Because I really hoped I wouldn’t be making the same mistakes as before. And if I did, then I deserved whatever ass kicking Daniel dished out.

  Daniel frowned. “Does Maggie know?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. And just so you know this decision has nothing to do with Maggie alright?” I tried to say it like I meant it. Daniel rolled his eyes.

  “Give me a fucking break. Everything you do seems to be about Maggie in some way or another. But I’m telling you right now, Clay, she’s been through hell. You put her through fucking hell. I don’t know everything that went down when you guys were in North Carolina. She’d never tell me. And I don’t want to fucking know. But what I do know is you left. I don’t care what your reasons were. You left her. You don’t call her. You don’t write. You just cut her out of your life. And that is all sorts of wrong. Look, I don’t want to bring up ancient history here. I’m just warning you, that if you fuck with my girl again, I won’t be so forgiving next time.” Daniel’s blue eyes were icy cold and even though we were pretty even physically, I knew he’d fight to the death for Maggie.

  The thing I didn’t think Daniel realized, even now, is that so would I.

  “I hear you, Daniel. I really do. But I’m not trying to open up a book that is better off closed, okay.” I really wish I meant what I said. Because I still believed Maggie was better off without me. Not that she was better off with some douche like Jake Fitzsimmons (who was still glaring at me from behind the counter; fucking pussy), but I wanted more for her than what I had ever been able to give.

  But Daniel only laughed. Like I had just said the funniest joke he had ever heard. And it ticked me off. I clenched my fist, my knuckles turning white. “What’s so damn funny?” I asked in a low voice. My urge to pummel people was out of control today.

  Daniel shook his head. “You’re what’s funny. Do you really expect me to believe you won’t be sniffing around Mags’ skirt the first chance you get? You can’t stay away from her. And I get it, okay. All I’m saying is be a bit more…careful with her this time. She’s just now getting her crap together. And you can’t come blowing back into her life and shitting all over it.” He leveled his eyes at me in warning and I wanted to deny what he said. But the man spoke truth.

  We watched each other warily for a few more minutes. “Fair enough,” I said finally. Daniel nodded, seeming to accept my response.

  “So, you gonna come back to Jackson?” he asked me, changing the subject. I was left in a bit of recoil by the switch. Daniel crossed his arms on top of the table and waited for me to answer him as though he had all the time in the world to sit here and chat.

  “I’d planned on it. I probably won’t start until the end of the week. I’ve got to help Ruby out at the shop, make sure she’s doing all right before I go back to school,” I explained.

  “Understandable. Well, if there’s anything you need, Rachel and I are around,” he offered offhandedly and I couldn’t really tell if he meant it or not. Then he got to his feet. Clearly our conversation was over.

  I grabbed the full coffee cup and threw it in the trash. Daniel called out a goodbye to Jake, who was still watching us, looking pissy, which gave me immense satisfaction. We headed out to the parking lot.

  “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you around,” Daniel said, throwing me a wave as he got in his truck. I waved back. I got into my car and started it up, not sure if I had just experienced a thinly veiled threat or unexpected support. Either way, Daniel Lowe had given me something to think about.

  Chapter Fourteen

  -Maggie-

  “You’ll never guess who I just saw in the office, filling out paperwork,” Claire said, sitting down at our lunch table. Daniel and Rachel looked up as she started to unwrap her sandwich. Daniel seemed wary, as though he knew something the rest of us didn’t know. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he seemed reluctant to make any sort of eye contact.

  “Who?” Rachel asked, taking a sip of her soda.

  “Clay Reed,” Claire said in a whisper. My head jerked in her direction. What did she just say?

  “Huh?” Rachel asked, looking confused. She shot me a look as if to ask do you know an
ything about this? I shook my head. I was currently the last person on the planet to be in the know when it came to Clayton Reed.

  “Yeah, rumor has it, he’s re-enrolling at Jackson. He was talking to the secretary when I saw him. I tried to hang around outside the door for a while, hoping I’d catch him. But the bell rang and I had to get to class,” Claire said conspiratorially.

  Clay was back in school? That must mean he had decided to stay in Davidson. When we had spoken after the funeral, he had seemed set on returning to Florida. I wonder what changed? And there went my stomach flip flopping all over the place.

  “Interesting,” I muttered, pushing my lunch away. I had suddenly lost my appetite.

  Daniel cleared his throat, drawing my attention. Rachel gave him a look. “What do you know, Danny? Spill it,” his girlfriend demanded. He looked uncomfortable.

  “Well, I may have run into him on Sunday. And he may have mentioned he was planning on sticking around,” Daniel mumbled, stuffing a few French fries into his mouth.

  Rachel smacked his arm. “And you didn’t say anything? What the hell, Danny?” she shrieked, glaring at him. Daniel hunched his shoulders up, clearly feeling the stink eye hitting him from all directions.

  “I wasn’t sure he would actually do it. I didn’t want to say anything if he ended up leaving again,” Daniel defended himself. I grit my teeth together in frustration. Nothing like being blindsided to make me feel punchy.

  “Way to keep secrets, asshole,” I threw at him, though I couldn’t summon up a whole lot of anger. Mostly because I was annoyingly thrilled that I would be seeing Clay again. Not that that changed anything.

  Sure sweetie, you keep telling yourself that. I goaded myself. Yep, the full on internal conversations had begun.

  “What’s with the angry faces guys?” Jake asked, plopping down beside me. Claire looked from him to me as he put his hand on the small of my back briefly before digging into his lunch. When did Jake start feeling like it was his place to touch me? He and I were definitely not on the same page. In fact, he was a good twenty chapters ahead of me. It made me want to rip out the freaking pages and shove them down his throat.

  See…punchy.

  “Oh, just dishing out the gossip. You know with Clay back, that’s all anyone is talking about.” Claire grinned, licking pudding off the back of her spoon, her eyes twinkling devilishly.

  Jake went instantly tense beside me and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Well, that’s cool I guess.” It was very obvious that it was anything but cool as far as he was concerned. Rachel was staring at me, trying to send me Morse code through her eyeballs. But clearly I wasn’t up to receiving encrypted messages.

  “Yep, cool,” I said dryly, getting to my feet. I was definitely finished with this conversation and I had homework to finish up before my next class. “Later guys,” I tossed out as casually as possible before heading to the trash can.

  I was shaking the food off my tray before putting it on the counter when Kylie joined me. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Wow, so Clay’s moved back to Davidson. That’s so awesome. I hope he’s okay. I mean after trying to kill himself and all,” she said with false brightness. I shot her a look over my shoulder and then walked out of the cafeteria, deciding no response was better than going all Kung Fu ninja on her ass. Fuck that bitch.

  The rest of the day was spent fielding a million and one questions about Clay. You’d think this was the only news worthy event happening at Jackson. Had everyone already forgotten about the junior girl who had gotten knocked up by her thirty year old boyfriend? That seemed a hell of a lot more interesting than the fact that Clayton Reed had returned.

  By the end of the day I was ready to bash my head in. “Have you talked to him at all?” Lila Casteel asked me as I headed toward the gym for track practice. I hefted the bag up onto my shoulder and gave her my frostiest smile.

  “Nope, but I’ll get right on that, Lila. It’s right behind learning to tap dance and translating the Odyssey into Pig Latin.” Lila looked taken aback but I just didn’t give a shit. I stormed away from her and was glad to have practice to keep my mind distracted.

  ***

  After practice, I grabbed my bag and left before anyone else could stop me, asking questions I didn’t have answers for. If one more person asked me if I had seen Clay and whether he was really coming back to Jackson, I would profess temporary insanity and go UFC fighter on their faces.

  I dug through my bag for my keys as I got into the parking lot. When I glanced up, the sight of who waited by my car made me stumble. There went my plans for plausible deniability.

  “Damn it,” I muttered under my breath, righting myself, feeling the sting of embarrassment color my cheeks.

  “You okay?” Clay asked, coming to my side, making the flash of humiliation even more acute. I waved him away.

  “I’m fine.” He jammed his hands back into his pockets and fell into step beside me.

  “This thing still lives, huh?” he asked, poking the tire of my car with his shoe. I snorted as I opened the door to throw my bag inside.

  “Still kickin’. She’ll outlive your fancy ride over there, I have no doubt,” I said, nodding toward his BMW that was parked beside mine. Clay laughed.

  “I’m pretty sure your car could take mine in a cage fight. I bet she fights dirty.” I tried not to get lost in his eyes as they twinkled in amusement. It was way too easy to fall into our old banter. But too much water had run under that particular bridge.

  “As great as it is to stand here and discuss the finer points of our respective cars, I’m feeling smelly and sweaty and would really like a shower. I’m assuming there is a reason for your random stalking?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed, when in actuality I was entirely too excited to see him.

  Clay’s smile faltered and then disappeared altogether. Jeesh, I hadn’t meant to be so testy. He looked as though I had just told him his favorite dog had run away. But my overly fluttery heart set me on edge. It reminded me of how simple it would be to lose myself in that place where he was my entire world. The world he had decimated.

  “Yeah. Okay. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to stay in Davidson. At least for a while,” he began but I cut him off.

  “I’ve already heard.” I made a show of checking my imaginary wrist watch. “About six and a half hours ago to be precise.” Clay groaned.

  “God, don’t these people have anything better to talk about?” he growled. I lifted my shoulders in a shrug.

  “This is Davidson, Virginia. You sneeze in the woods and everyone knows about it five minutes later and then proceeds to talk about it until you’re forty. It’s nothing personal. You just gave these people something to talk about. Be flattered,” I said shortly, closing my car door and leaning against it.

  Clay rolled his eyes toward the sky. “I just wish they’d talk about someone that wasn’t me,” he said softly and I felt bad for making light of it. I knew it was hard for him to be the center of attention. He had always preferred to blend into the background. But that was difficult to do after our stint as teenagers on the run. The town would be hard pressed to forget something like that anytime soon. And now that he was back it only served to fan the flames that had only just started to die down.

  “Yeah, it sucks,” I agreed, crossing my arms over my chest. Clay looked at me. I mean really looked at me and something flickered in his dark eyes that made my heart pitter patter. Annoying heart!

  Slowly, he leaned against my car beside me. Our elbows rubbed together and the familiar tingles of electricity flickered across my skin.

  “I just wanted to tell you myself. I know I’ve made things…difficult for you and I’m sure my showing up here makes it even worse.” I wanted to stay angry with him. I wanted to yell and scream about the way he had left me. But it was hard to summon up anything other than stone cold relief that he was here at all. But as always I was able to hide my more vulnerable emotions under a hefty pile
of sarcasm and snark.

  “Nah. You give yourself too much credit,” I teased, knocking his shoulder with mine. Clay glanced at me through his lashes, the look on his face leaving me breathless.

  “Probably. But all the same, I don’t want to make things harder for you.” His voice dropped as his eyes fell to my lips.

  I found myself leaning into him, my eyes searching his and not letting go. And I let the rough edges I had honed into sharp points soften a bit. “It was harder for me when you were gone,” I admitted, surprising myself by laying such honesty at the feet of the one person who could stomp all over me. Something lit in Clay’s eyes and flared to life. Reaching up, he pushed my hair back off of my shoulder and placed his hand on the side of my neck.

  “Maggie, there’s so much I need to tell you. To explain. I want you to understand why I never called. Why I felt the need to write that letter. Everything I did was done for what I thought were really good reasons. But right now it just feels like wasted time.” His thumb caressed the skin under my ear and I had to tamp down on the urge to shiver, both at his touch and his words. The soundless chemistry began to build between us, just the way it always had. This felt so reminiscent of a time, not too long ago, when the next logical step would be to fall into each other’s arms. And I saw that Clay recognized that as well. Then it all changed and the smoldering fire in his eyes flickered out.

  Clay dropped his hand and stepped away, apology written all over his face. “I, uh, I really need to get home. I have to check on Ruby. I just wanted you to hear the news from me. I don’t expect this to change things between us. I only wanted you to know.” The shift in his demeanor left me confused and then irritated. Again, this was classic Clay. Hot and Cold. Yes and No. Up and Down.

  “How typical,” I said under my breath. Though not softly enough as became apparent by Clay’s frown.